A/N: I wrote this when I was bored…and was feeling silly. It think it's entertaining…read on!
Summary: The trio think they've hexed Malfoy…only it's not him, it's a look-alike by the name of Tom…
A PLAY: The Hooded (Leif: Robed!) People
Setting: Grassy hill. There are no buildings in sight. It is afternoon. Leif and Mark are sitting down and look up as Tom comes up the side of the hill.
Leif: Not looking too good, Tom.
Tom: I don't feel good, either. (splays slugs all over Leif)
Mark: It's those stupid people in hoods.
Tom: Bloody hooded people. (splays slugs again)
Leif: It's robes.
Tom: Bloody robed people.
Leif: Get your slugs away from me!
Tom: I can't help it. (splays more slugs on Leif)
Mark: Eurgh!
Leif: Why did they do that to you?
Tom: No idea.
Mark: No idea?
Tom: None.
Mark: None at all?
Tom: I told you no, you infuriating boy!
Mark: Stop insulting me.
Tom: Or what?
Mark: (points) Or those hooded people will do something to you.
Leif: It's robes!
Three hooded – er, robed – people appear. They are singing.
Harry: Oh, we got him!
Ron: The rotter…
Hermione: Now he's splaying
Harry: Slugs like a slugger!
Ron: Like a bugger!
Hermione: No a slugger
Harry: That's right.
Ron: Not bugger?
Hermione: Not bugger.
Ron: Why not?
Harry: Cause it's true!
Ron: But he's a bugger.
Hermione: He's got a point.
Harry: Who cares? I'm in charge.
What I say
Goes.
Ron: I don't agree.
Not one bit.
Who made you
The boss?
Harry: Why, me
Of course
Whoever
Did you think?
Hermione: Voldemort?
Ron: Surely not!
Harry: Of course not!
Don't be stupid.
Tom: I still don't know
Why I'm splaying slugs.
Mark: You wouldn't.
You're so dumb
You wouldn't know
A slug
From a chicken
Tom: I resent that,
Very much.
Leif: Bet the robed people don't.
Ron: No, we don't.
Mark: Have you noticed
He's stopped
Splaying slugs?
Hermione: Oh, dear
The spell's
Worn off.
Malfoy will be
Really mad
Now.
Tom: Who's Malfoy?
Harry: Why you, of course!
Tom: No, I'm Tom!
Ron: Right, and you expect us to believe that every –
Mark: Stick to the poem
You orange-haired
Oaf.
Ron: Keep yours shut
Or I'll shove it up –
(clears throat) ahem!
As I was saying
You're Malfoy
Believe it
Or not.
Tom: I am?
Hermione: Yes you are!
Tom: I'm Malfoy?
Leif: Stop being annoying! You're driving me up the wall –
Mark: Stick to the poem
You orange-haired
Oaf.
Leif: Just realised
I'm a redhead
Like Ron…
Tom: To the matter at hand
Am I Malfoy or not?
I'm pretty sure
I'm Tom
Not Bom
Or Bam
Or Malfoy, even
Just Tom!
Harry: Maybe.
Ron: Maybe.
Hermione: You could be right
You could be wrong
Who knows?
Leif: I do!
He's Tom
I know it
For a fact.
Mark: You've got the wrong man
You hooded –
Leif: Robed!
Mark: Hooded young folks.
Be off, don't disturb
Our good Tom again.
Harry: Our apologies then
For troubling your day
We'll be off
Don't fret
We'll never come back.
Hermione: And you
Dear Muggles
Shall know nothing.
She waves a stick and they all disappear – the hooded (Leif: Robed!) people, I mean.
Tom: (blinks) What were we talking about?
Leif: No idea. Let's eat.
A/N: Heh, okay, so there's a sample of what I get up to when I'm bored and feeling a bit silly :P Review, people! Tell me it's stupid, whatever, just review! Lol…