Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. And neither does Uhura.
~~
Nyota Uhura woke up on Monday with a headache and a scowl.
She liked to think she had a headache because she'd been at a really great party the previous night and had had loads of drinks and been chatted up by loads and loads of men, and had turned them all down in a sudden burst of drunk-enraged Feminism.
She hadn't.
She'd been hit on the head with a girder by Chekov, as he, Sulu and Riley attempted to fix the minor problems on the Bridge after the latest in a long line of Kilngon attacks, under the supervision of Spock.
"Well," She climbed out of bed and immediately toppled over several mounds of magazines and hit the wardrobe, "what a perfect start to the week in general. Severe headache, embarrassment, boredom, general skirt-wearing and being eyed up by Ensign who don't know the meaning of the word 'Love' because they are fresh out of the Academy. Phooey."
To make matters worse, whilst she was dressing she ripped four of her tights, ruined her lipstick and broke a nail.
"Stupid life, stupid ship, stupid people on the ship, except me and Chapel and Rand, stupid duties, stupid. . .everything, basically. Everything is stupid except us three girls." She muttered as she walked down the corridor towards the Turbo Lift.
"I don't think that's a wery fair judgement." Said a reproving Russian- accented voice behind her.
"Yes, well YOU didn't get hit over the head yesterday with a girder, did you?" She asked sarcastically, stepping into the Turbo Lift and holding the doors open for Pavel, "and you're not female."
"I don't see vhat that's got to do vith anythink."
"You're not a girl; I'm fed up with life; I'm going to kill someone by the end of the day." Uhura summarized her mood for him. He eyed her critically and shuffled a little to the left.
"Stay avay from me then."
~~
Matters didn't improve on the Bridge either. Kirk was in a bad mood, McCoy was absent, so there was no way of lifting him out of it, Spock was just. . .Spock, Sulu was angry at the world because the Replicators had been purged of any Japanese dishes as a joke by Joey, Rand was in a mood at Kirk because he was in a mood in general. . .
Uhura sighed and sat at her station, blinking at the marmalade stains on the board.
"Who was on night duty on my station?" She asked, peering around the Bridge suspiciously.
"Mr. DeSalle." Chekov replied, sitting at his station, "but it vas Joey who dropped the jam all over it."
"Marmalade." Uhura corrected him.
"Vhatewer. It vas made in Russia, vhatewer it vas."
She glared at his back, wondering if a hairpin fired by an elastic band would be enough to kill him. Or hurt him. Or at least give him a scratch. An itch. Something.
"Captain," Spock suddenly looked up from his station, "I'm picking up a planet dead ahead that is not supposed to be there."
"Really. Fascinating." Kirk muttered without even looking up, "Sulu, drop us into orbit."
"We'll have to turn around then." Sulu huffed. Kirk sat up.
"Why?" He asked, picking at his nails.
"Because we're too close. If we were to go into orbit this close at this speed we'd all burn up and I'd be a lot happier." The Helmsman snapped, causing most people on the Bridge to jump.
Kirk, however, merely raised his eyebrows and said, "fine. Turn us around then come back and put us into orbit."
Uhura readied her fingers on her panel, knowing what was coming next.
"Miss. Uhura, open hailing frequencies."
"Channels are open, sir." She reported barely a second after he'd ordered. He nodded and made his usual boring speech, then got her to close the Channel and sat back in his chair.
"I'm going to go make some coffee." Rand decided, "anyone want some?"
"Yes." Uhura muttered as the young woman passed her to go into the Turbo Lift, "all coffee, no water."
"Why no water?" Rand asked, pausing and lowering her voice.
"Because I'm going to pour it over Joey's head in the Rec Room at Lunch." Uhura replied, picking at the Marmalade and sighing as she broke another nail, "stupid boys."
~~
Nyota Uhura woke up on Monday with a headache and a scowl.
She liked to think she had a headache because she'd been at a really great party the previous night and had had loads of drinks and been chatted up by loads and loads of men, and had turned them all down in a sudden burst of drunk-enraged Feminism.
She hadn't.
She'd been hit on the head with a girder by Chekov, as he, Sulu and Riley attempted to fix the minor problems on the Bridge after the latest in a long line of Kilngon attacks, under the supervision of Spock.
"Well," She climbed out of bed and immediately toppled over several mounds of magazines and hit the wardrobe, "what a perfect start to the week in general. Severe headache, embarrassment, boredom, general skirt-wearing and being eyed up by Ensign who don't know the meaning of the word 'Love' because they are fresh out of the Academy. Phooey."
To make matters worse, whilst she was dressing she ripped four of her tights, ruined her lipstick and broke a nail.
"Stupid life, stupid ship, stupid people on the ship, except me and Chapel and Rand, stupid duties, stupid. . .everything, basically. Everything is stupid except us three girls." She muttered as she walked down the corridor towards the Turbo Lift.
"I don't think that's a wery fair judgement." Said a reproving Russian- accented voice behind her.
"Yes, well YOU didn't get hit over the head yesterday with a girder, did you?" She asked sarcastically, stepping into the Turbo Lift and holding the doors open for Pavel, "and you're not female."
"I don't see vhat that's got to do vith anythink."
"You're not a girl; I'm fed up with life; I'm going to kill someone by the end of the day." Uhura summarized her mood for him. He eyed her critically and shuffled a little to the left.
"Stay avay from me then."
~~
Matters didn't improve on the Bridge either. Kirk was in a bad mood, McCoy was absent, so there was no way of lifting him out of it, Spock was just. . .Spock, Sulu was angry at the world because the Replicators had been purged of any Japanese dishes as a joke by Joey, Rand was in a mood at Kirk because he was in a mood in general. . .
Uhura sighed and sat at her station, blinking at the marmalade stains on the board.
"Who was on night duty on my station?" She asked, peering around the Bridge suspiciously.
"Mr. DeSalle." Chekov replied, sitting at his station, "but it vas Joey who dropped the jam all over it."
"Marmalade." Uhura corrected him.
"Vhatewer. It vas made in Russia, vhatewer it vas."
She glared at his back, wondering if a hairpin fired by an elastic band would be enough to kill him. Or hurt him. Or at least give him a scratch. An itch. Something.
"Captain," Spock suddenly looked up from his station, "I'm picking up a planet dead ahead that is not supposed to be there."
"Really. Fascinating." Kirk muttered without even looking up, "Sulu, drop us into orbit."
"We'll have to turn around then." Sulu huffed. Kirk sat up.
"Why?" He asked, picking at his nails.
"Because we're too close. If we were to go into orbit this close at this speed we'd all burn up and I'd be a lot happier." The Helmsman snapped, causing most people on the Bridge to jump.
Kirk, however, merely raised his eyebrows and said, "fine. Turn us around then come back and put us into orbit."
Uhura readied her fingers on her panel, knowing what was coming next.
"Miss. Uhura, open hailing frequencies."
"Channels are open, sir." She reported barely a second after he'd ordered. He nodded and made his usual boring speech, then got her to close the Channel and sat back in his chair.
"I'm going to go make some coffee." Rand decided, "anyone want some?"
"Yes." Uhura muttered as the young woman passed her to go into the Turbo Lift, "all coffee, no water."
"Why no water?" Rand asked, pausing and lowering her voice.
"Because I'm going to pour it over Joey's head in the Rec Room at Lunch." Uhura replied, picking at the Marmalade and sighing as she broke another nail, "stupid boys."