"Now, shall we begin?"
Clara tensed, her breathing strained. She clutched the edge of the table she was standing next to, Harrison's words echoing in her head. She forced her gaze from Harrison on the screen to Spock, her heart beating faster and harder with every minute that passed.
From the first moment she'd laid eyes on Harrison she hadn't trusted him. She'd tried to persuade Jim to be more cautious around him and think over his plan to partner with Harrison. He'd assured her he was wary, not entirely trusting of him. And as soon as they had entered the other ship and he'd observed Harrison's behavior, the man disappearing for a brief amount of time, he knew what he had to do. Unfortunately, things hadn't worked out the way any of them had intended. And now here were Jim, Scotty and Carol as Harrison's hostages, Spock their savior.
Clara switched her focus to Spock, mentally willing him to answer. She wanted so badly to do something, get in the TARDIS and go rescue the other three, but that would be disastrous. She'd just end up as Harrison's hostage, too, and Jim didn't want to see her get hurt. As soon as Spock ordered Sulu to lower the shields, she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She could hear Jim in the background of the video, hear him cough in pain after Harrison kicked him. She chewed the bottom of her lip, the sound of him hurt even worse than actually seeing him hurt.
As soon as the exchange was made, Clara took off running. She made sharp turns, sliding along the floor now and then as she raced to meet Jim and the others in the medical bay, knowing they'd head directly there since Carol was hurt. As she rounded the corner, right across from her were Jim and Scotty, the two hauling Carol between them. "Jim!" she cried out.
Two nurses took Carol from Scotty and Jim and given the opportunity, Clara ran and jumped into Jim's arms, throwing her arms around his shoulders and hugging him. She embraced him tightly, her eyes wide with a mixture of fear at the thought of losing him and then with relief at seeing he was all right. Jim hugged her back, letting out a ragged breath as he clutched her tightly and then set her down on the ground.
"You okay?" he asked urgently, as if she'd been the one to get beat up and not him.
"Yeah, I'm fine. You?" she asked, her breathing fast as she ran her hands over him to check him over. She grabbed a handful of his shirt, clutching it until her knuckles turned pale.
"Yeah, perfect," he replied, laughing as he cupped the side of Clara's face. He then looked around and spotted Bones, gesturing for Clara to follow him. "You helped Spock detonate those torpedoes?" he asked, approaching Bones.
"Damn right, I did."
"He killed Khan's crew," Jim said, as if not believing it.
"Spock's cold, but he's not that cold," Bones replied, unable to believe he was defending Spock. Clara had her hand on Jim's back, her gaze on Bones and her brows furrowed. "I've got Khan's crew," Bones clarified, pointing to their right. She turned to see that he was telling the truth. "Seventy-two human popsicles safe and sound in their cryotubes."
"Son of a bitch," she whispered at the same time as Jim. Clara dropped her hand from Jim's back and took a step closer to the tubes, wanting to see them up close. To think there were people inside, thousands of years old. A part of her was proud of Spock for saving them.
"What - " Clara's question was cut off, darkness abruptly descending upon a time. She turned around, her eyes wide with fear as her eyes tried to adjust to the darkness. Jim took a step closer to Clara, opening his mouth to say something but she held her hand up and cut him off. "Go," she said, knowing what he needed to do. Jim smiled gratefully at her, grabbing her face between his hands and giving her a quick kiss on the forehead.
"Look after her, Bones!" he shouted as he and Scotty ran out of the medical bay, "One day I've been of this ship! One bloody day!" echoing in the halls.
"You better –"
"I have to find the Doctor," she said, cutting off Bones. She shrugged apologetically at him and then took off running in the same direction as Jim.
"Why do I even bother," Bones muttered, getting back to work.
"Doctor!" Clara shouted, running down the halls. All around her people ran, to get somewhere or get away and go somewhere safer, she didn't know. Everyone was alert, fearing for their lives amid the chaos. Clara lost her balance as the ship tipped and she reached out and grabbed onto the wall, holding onto it as hard as she could until the ship righted itself enough so that she could continue to look for the Doctor. "DOCTOR?!" she yelled, letting go of the wall and taking off again.
She rounded a corner, but as soon as she did the ship tipped again and she went flying back. She went too fast, unable to reach out for anything to hold on to. A woman slid past her, Clara trying to reach out for her but missing her. She felt a tear escape, watching the woman slide down a bridge to her death. Then she saw Jim. "Jim!' she shouted, reaching her hand out as she got closer and closer to him.
"Clara!" he shouted, struggling to hold on to the railing with one hand as he reached out and grabbed her. He slowly pulled her up, shouting, "Just climb up me." Clara reached her other hand up, grabbing onto his arm with both hands now as she pulled herself up. Once she had a hold of the railing Jim let go of her and immediately wrapped his arm around her back as he pulled her up and pinned her underneath him and against the railing.
"There won't be time for evacuation if we don't get power to stabilize the damn ship!" Scotty yelled over everyone else's screaming.
"Can we restore it?" he asked, as Clara wrapped her arms around the railing, her whole body pinned under Jim's as he held onto the railing, his hands right beside hers. She felt more secure but was still holding on for dear life.
"Only from engineering," Scotty replied, the ship once more beginning to right itself. "We have to get back to the warp core."
Once the ship was righted again, Jim grabbed Clara and helped her up. "Clara, listen to me, I –"
"I have to find the Doctor," she said, feeling like she'd cut off everyone's sentences in the past ten minutes. "I have to."
"All right, but as soon as you do get out of here or at least get to the command bridge. Do that for me?" he asked, cupping her face between his hands. She nodded, out of breath. "That's my girl," he said, grinning. He turned to continue on and Clara was about to run and find the Doctor again, but she noticed Jim stop. He decided to do something he'd wanted to do for a long time, and now seemed like a damned good time to do it. Especially if – no, he pushed those thoughts aside.
Jim grabbed her face between his hands again and crushed their lips together. Tipping her head back and leaning into him, Clara parted her lips to let more of him, their tongues wrapping around each other. After several moments, he was the first to finally pull away. He gazed at her; for the longest time he'd tried to think of her as just a friend, and it'd worked. She was a good friend, someone he'd confided to just like he confided to Bones. But somewhere along the way he'd began to view her as more than a friend.
"Go!" he yelled, and then they both took off running. Clara's legs felt a bit like jelly as she ran, her mind still reeling from that kiss. A kiss she had imagined happening a lot lately but didn't think would ever happen. She would've been content just being his friend.
She stopped running, leaning against the wall and catching her breath. That was when she heard it. Heard him. "Clara!" he shouted, coming around the corner. "Ah, Clara!" he exclaimed when he saw her. He quickly hugged her, relieved she was okay.
"Doctor, listen to me, we have to help Jim," she said. Seeing the look on the Doctor's face made her trail off, a sense of foreboding washing over her. She rarely saw the look he was currently giving her and she knew whatever he had to say was bad and something she didn't want to hear. "What? What is it?"
"Clara, listen to me," the Doctor began, placing his hands on her shoulders to brace her. "I know what he has to do and in a few minutes Jim will, as well."
"Okay. All right. That's good, right? Isn't it? He knows the solution and can fix it," she said, trying to reassure herself and get rid of the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Everything's going to be all right."
"Clara, Jim has to enter the engine chamber and re-align the heads or else the ship – it's the only way to save the ship and everyone on it."
"And?"
"The engine chamber is radioactive. He can't – he won't have enough time to get in and out of there. The amount of radioactivity he'll be exposed to will be fatal. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
"No," Clara said, shaking her head vigorously. She didn't want to believe it. The worst part was that she knew Jim well enough to know that he would sacrifice himself for everyone without a moment's hesitation, he was that good of a person. "No," she repeated, still shaking her head. She forced back the tears wanting to spill down her face, not wanting to break down. Now wasn't the time. "There has to be something we can do, can't there? Please," she begged when the Doctor shook his head, his expression remorseful.
Clara sunk to the ground, holding onto the wall for support as the ship tipped slightly to the side. "Come on," he said, helping her up. "We have to get to somewhere safe."
"No," she said, yanking her arm away from his. "We have to help Jim. There's got to be something." And without another word, Clara took off towards engine chamber, the Doctor calling and running after her. They skidded down the hallways, bumping into people now and then. She pushed herself as hard as she could, forcing her legs to go faster than they could probably take her. She didn't want to think about Jim dying, not after they had finally kissed. If he was going to die, though, she had to see him one last time. She had to.
She was close to the engine chamber when the ship began to drop at an alarming rate. Clara held onto the railing, and then a moment later the ship stabilized. She let out a sigh of relief but that relief was short-lived. Up ahead, she saw Scotty strapped in to a chair, unconscious. She hurried over to him to make sure he was all right and then ran over to the door that led into the engine chamber. "Clara, no!" the Doctor said, grabbing her by the shoulders.
Clara sunk down to her knees, staring at the door. She kept her eyes fixed on the door, her anxiety increasing every minute that Jim didn't appear. After what seemed an eternity, she could hear someone struggling on the other side. Moving closer to the door, she placed both of her hands on the glass. "Jim?"
"Clara," he said, laughing and smiling as he saw her, pulling himself to the door. He collapsed and leaned against it, resting the side of his head against the cool glass. He was exhausted, in pain. And he was scared. He hadn't expected to be this scared, but having Clara here was reassuring. It calmed him, made him a bit braver. When lifted his head to look at her, he saw that she was crying. He wanted to reach out and hold her, but couldn't and that pain was even worse than the pain from the radiation exposure. "I'm glad you're here," he continued, his voice low and intimate.
Clara laughed and at the same time let out a sob. She got as close to the door as she could, sitting across from him so it was easier for him to see her. "There has to – there has to be something I can do. Something, I mean –"
"Clara, Clara. It's – there's nothing you can do," he said, trying but failing to reassure her. "It's okay. I knew what the risk was. I'm just sorry it took me so long to kiss you."
Smiling, Clara's eyes watered even more. The Doctor had been watching them, but when their talk became rather intimate he took some slow steps backward and gave them some privacy. "They say everything goes downhill after the first kiss," she said, starting off laughing but then began to cry again. She didn't want to say goodbye, but everything she wanted to tell him felt like a goodbye and she hated that.
"Guess they're right." Kirk chuckled and smirked, coughing a little bit before settling against the door again, gazing fondly at Clara. "I'm glad I got to know you, Clara Oswald." Smiling, Jim's eyes began to water as he lifted his hand and pressed it against the door. He lined their fingers together, staring at their hands for several moments before lifting his gaze to meet hers.
"I'm glad I met you, too," she said, and was going to say something else when she heard someone behind her. She turned to see Scotty and Spock staring at the two of them.
When Scotty said it was impossible to open the door, Spock came over and knelt beside Clara. "How's our ship?" Jim asked him, his breathing more labored than it'd been a few minutes ago.
"Out of danger," Spock answered, and as Clara looked at him she saw that he was attempting to hold back emotion. She turned her gaze back to Jim, not taking her eyes off him now. She studied him, feeling a pain in her heart as she watched him struggle.
"Good."
"You saved the crew."
"You used what he wanted against him," Jim said, each word a struggle for him, exhausting him. "That's a nice move."
"It is what you would have done," Spock replied. Clara lowered her head for a moment, closing her eyes to force her tears back.
"This – this is what you woud have done. It was only logical." At that, Clara smiled a little bit, suppressing a laugh. His next words startled her and she looked up, the tears she'd been holding back making their way out. "I'm scared, Spock. Help me not be. How do you choose not to feel?"
Clara pushed herself up, not wanting to leave but deciding to give Jim and Spock a moment to themselves. She went to stand by Scotty, he back turned towards the other two. She wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes, listening to them talk. When she heard Spock tell Jim he understood why he had saved him back at the volcano, Clara lips quivered and more tears fell down her cheeks. She wanted not to feel right now. It was all too much for her to bear. Just as she'd gotten close to him, fallen for him, it was all ending. It didn't seem right or fair. Everyone she loved always ended up dying on her. Jim's life was just starting, he didn't deserve to die.
Then it was quiet, eerily quiet. She could hear Spock's shaky breathing, the sound someone made when they were close to tears. She slowly turned around to see Jim's lifeless form and she cried out. She went over and collapsed by the door again, resting her forehead against the glass. "No!" She cried, any other sound around her nonexistent to her. She got lost in her grief, oblivious to Uhura joining them, Spock's breathing changing to anger, and then him shouting Harrison's name.
She gazed at Jim as she cried, her sobs racking her body. All the times she'd spent with Jim flooded her mind, and then all the moments they'd never get together replaced the happy moments and made her cry only harder. Nothing had gone the way she'd expected. She'd thought they'd have adventures together. Now there was nothing.