Hello story-seekers. Once upon a time there's a young woman who loves to write. And then she keeps writing new stories and don't finish her current ones. That's Elise the Writing Desk. The little bitch. Please bear with her.

Sorry I'm NOT SORRY.

I think this will be my first romance slash drama slash humor? However, instead of focusing on romance, I think I'm focusing on how the characters try to sort themselves by interacting with each other. So if you're looking for some romantic chick-flick-read, GO READ THIS! YES, READ THIS, IT WILL TEACH YOU STUFF.

And you know, I think writing is much more fun when I get feedbacks. It's like caffeine that keeps me writing more, and it warms my heart and I'd go as far as writing at my office computer, so please, please, please review. First, if you review, you will go to heaven. In this heaven is Jericho Bermuda, giving you a backrub. Here, Sidney will bake a lot of cakes and cookies! And Crysta will build a castle of ice! YES, THAT'S RIGHT! Everyone who reviews the first chapter will get a ticket to the Heaven of Diamond! Masseuse Jericho Bermuda at your service, Patisserie Sidney ready to bake any sort of pastries you want! And of course, your very own ice-blasting queen, Crysta will grant all your Frozen fantasies! So review, everyone!

And here goes the story!

I'm Only Me When I'm With You
January 19th 2014
by Elise the Writing Desk, Characters by QuinRose

Afterlife

Wearing glasses was unpleasant during a rainy winter day. Alice had lost count of how many times she had been wiping her thick-framed glasses.

It's the worst weather possible, but of course, nothing new in England. Rain and snow, just perfect. Perfect to grow that depression weighing in Alice Liddell's heart. First of all, it's January, means holidays ended and college started again. Her holiday wasn't the happiest thing at all. If anything, it depressed her. She felt such a heavy brick on her back to drag herself back to college. But of course, with her circumstances, she couldn't pull back now. Not after she had spent three years.

Three years cross-dressing as a boy. Three bloody years.

Ah, that scholarship letter had a fresh image in her brain, haunting her days. That letter used to motivated her, but Winter Break happened and now she's just depressed.

Dear Ms. Alice Liddell

I am very interested with your talents in design and programming and perceive you as a valuable asset in the future. On the current time, I do not wish to reveal any information from my part. However, I would like to offer you a full scholarship at the Lewis Technology and Digital Academy to polish your talents.

Here are my requirements:

Finish 4 years with above-average achievements in all subjects I demand you to take.

As you've probably been informed, Lewis Academy only accepts male students. I will not be responsible of this part. If you wish to accept the scholarship and graduate, please hide your true identity as a female from public.

That is all. You should only reply me with 'I accept' and 'No thank you'. Other than that, I don't see anything unclear or necessary to be explained, nor that I want to explain. Should you question me further, I should ignore your message. I will only read your refusal or acceptance.

Good Day.

So she had been living as a boy at Lewis Academy. It was fairly easy, since people there minded their own business most of the time. She also paid a private flat and had a roommate, but it wasn't a big deal. Well, in the beginning she freaked out so easily, but now she had greater things to think about.

Alice tightened her scarf; her short-bob cut hair always made her regret cutting her hair off. It warmed her, but then again, there's no helping it. She also had to wear glasses, because her eyes were too big and feminine. It was irritating especially during winter when her glasses would easily fogged up. Now she started to regret everything she had done.

Cutting her hair, leaving home, fighting with her parents, cross-dressing as a boy. Hell, what a crazy ride she had so far. And as crazy as it is, she couldn't stop now. She had to make it through to the end, somehow. Though she didn't feel so motivated as she was in the beginning.

The bus stopped in front of a dine. The place looked warm and inviting, so she decided to make a quick visit. Warm air blew her right away when she stepped in; the place was filled with other warm-seekers like herself. She took a seat on a stool and ordered a take-out pastrami sandwich. Then she took a bottle of beer set on the bar and heard over the discussions from the crowd, just to fill her wait.

"Can't you play Airay's new song, mate? It's on air on the Slinger Station 45 FM."

"Hot or mild?" Alice turned to the chef and told him she wanted extra chilly sauce for her sandwich, before changing the discussion she wanted to eavesdrop. She knew Airay, that British Super Star, but just knowing, that's all. She would admit that he sang a few good songs, and that's all. A neutral person as always.

"...It was downright sick, mate. The man bloody jumped onto that gladiator statue in front of his manor."

Alice flinched, her fingers gripping onto the bottle of beer tightly.

"Christ! Rich people are just bloody insane, eh? Didn't he have a wife and children?"

"Aye, his wife overdosed and was shocked, currently in a coma. It just proves that ain't even rich people can be happy, innit? Having riches and them power yet surrounded by a bloody hellish family..."

"Here you go, young lad. That'd be—"

"Thanks, sir. Keep the change." Alice slammed whatever money she had and snatched her sandwich and her bottle before strutting out of the dine. She let out a sigh, reluctantly turning to her right. From there she could see her flat and her campus building. She felt very reluctant to go there, and turned to her left. There's a wide space where she could see the ocean from there. Maybe taking more cold air would motivate her to go back to her flat.

~.X.~

Alice frowned at the beer; it was stale, the lamest one ever. It didn't warm her at all. She looked up at a wide screen on top of a department store, showing that Airay guy again, singing a new song. For some reason, she couldn't feel anything from his songs. She would go as far as saying that Justin Bieber had more emotion in his songs than this Airay guy.

But that's none of her business. She noticed the plain was quite empty. There was a cliff nearby where she could get a great view of the ocean.

And there's a guy there, standing at the edge. Alice's heart froze in an instant. She adjusted her glasses and slowly approached him.

"What are you doing there, mate?"

The guy with auburn, pinkish hair, turned to her. His eyes were covered his his long bangs, she couldn't read his expression. He had piercings on his ears, but she dismissed observing those details when she noticed he was pushing his right foot and was about to jump.

Alice gasped and threw herself and caught the ankle of his left foot when the guy almost fell into the rocky cliff, head-first.

"What on the bloody earth!?"

"Let go, you twat." The guy hissed at her, hanging upside down. "Leave me the fuck alone."

Though his words only made her tighten her grip. She took her chance and caught his ankle with her other hand and dropped her whole weight onto her knees before trying to pull him up to the ground.

"Hey, what the hell?"

Alice gasped for air when she managed to pull him onto the ground. She absolutely didn't have any plan to let a guy doing suicide in front of her eyes, and she wanted to yell at him for being an idiot. However, the guy had the audacity to stand right back up and jumped again.

"You bloody batshit man!" Alice fortunately had tackled him onto the ground, only his arms hanging down the cliff.

"Leave me alone, wanker." The man grunted, struggling beneath her. Alice knew this man was stronger and heavier and if she didn't do something he would probably roll down the cliff and die. So she desperately used her toe to drag her beer bottle.

She got it, pulled it with her fingers, raised the beer bottle in her hand and grimaced down to the suicidal man whoever he was.

"Never!"

And she smacked him with a beer bottle out cold.

~.X.~

Alice panted for air, straddling the man's back—his head was bleeding from her hit, but she knew he was just unconscious. She stared at the bleeding bottle in her hand, and threw it to the sea before dragging him. He was heavy, she had expected that, but at least he's unconscious. However, she knew that she wouldn't be able to drag him far enough for help, and his bleeding was worrying her.

She gently led him and set his head to lean on a tree bark and for the first time, observed his face. Alice pushed her glasses and frowned, feeling a familiar feeling about this man's face. She shook her head and decided to check if he had a useful contact information and was surprised to see that he had a bloody i-phone 6 with him.

"Bloody hell, mate. You can't just die and taking this i-phone with you!" she laughed and checked his emergency call list, since of course, it's locked.

It took three beeps for the other line picking up. She called the fast-dial number with the name 'Gowland', and was welcomed with a very worried voice.

"What in the bloody hell are you doing!? Where are you, you dirty brat!?"

Alice had to took the phone several inches away from her ear.

"Sorry, this isn't the owner of the phone. He's in the park by the Avalon Cliff, he almost jumped off. Please come right away. I'm sorry but I had to knock him unconscious, since he's so adamant of killing himself."

"Jesus Christ...give me a break! I'm grateful of your actions, I will come with an ambulance. Will you please take him to a crowded place?"

"Sure, I'll try." The call ended, and Alice frowned at the man unconscious before her. Well, she would if she could. She decided to take a chance; he would probably be out cold for a while. Alice stood up and went away to get people from the streets, anywhere, to help her take the guy.

When she returned, there were polices, an ambulance and a lot of cameras. Alice tried to slip through only to see a ginger-man holding the i-phone 6 she just used, and a blood trail heading to the cliff.

"Oh, hell no..." Alice groaned and jumped out of the crowd, checking below the cliff. "He fucking jumped!?"

The ginger-man glared at her. "Who are you!?"

"I'm the one who called you! I was trying to get people to help bring him away from here..."

One of the reporters walked to her hastily and handed the microphone to her.

"Sir, what do you mean he jumped!?"

Alice was startled. "Uh, well, he was going to jump when I first found him, but I dragged him back—"

"Ssh! Shut your mouth!" the ginger hissed and pulled her behind him. "We can't say any further than this until we bring this case to the police! Now dismiss your bloody fucking cameras away!"

Alice just realized something; there were cameras, reporters and polices? Why? Why would that suicidal guy be so important that police and reporters had to swarm here? Her questions soon answered by another question asked by a really desperate reporter;

"Sir! Is it true that Airay had committed suicide!?"

Hell damn, what did she just get herself into?

~.X.~

There's a six-hours-long interrogation from the police department and a lot of yelling and snapping from the ginger-man, Gowland, who turned out to be Airay's manager. After that, she wasn't allowed to sleep because she had a short court meeting and interview to announce the deed:

The Pride Star of the United Kingdom, Airay, Committed Suicide

Gowland probably was still convinced that she's the murderer, but so far they couldn't find the body from the sea beneath the cliff. The weather was too bad and the current was dangerous, so they couldn't start the search.

Without any consideration, she was then left in the police station, no one offering her a ride to go back to West Town—where her flat was—and so she had to take the latest bus that was fortunately available—and was the last for that night. Just her bloody luck.

Alice mentally cursed everything that happened today, especially the part that she couldn't save the fucking bloody Airay from his fucking stupid suicide attempt. Now his manager was pissed off of her and probably would try to plot a way to frame her as a suspect.

Well, good thing that the media thought that she's a boy. When that happened, she could just throw away her fake ID and return to be a girl. Maybe cross-dressing for three-years wasn't a bad thing after all. Maybe it was meant to be, it was a fate for her to avoid any possible stupid framing.

Imagine that. She let a fucking super star jumped off the cliff.

Those bloody gullible fangirls would probably try to find Alice and kill her—er, him. And not Alice, but 'Al'.

She had to walk again from the bus stop and finally arrived to her flat, cursing every step she took on the stairs and finally arrived to her room to see Julius, her room mate, was crossing his arms, scowling at her, probably judging her as a murderer. Probably wanting to kick her out, well she couldn't blame him. Who would want to be a flatmate of a murderer? But hey, she's not a murderer, and if anything, she needed to stay in her flat. She held a hand to stop him, and used her other hand to hold her glasses still.

"Okay, I know. But you have to hear me, I did not kill Airay."

Julius twitched, snorting.

"I couldn't care less if you massacred a whole town, I just can't find it acceptable that you'd let this moron stay with us." He coldly hissed.

Alice blinked, absolutely confused and unable to comprehend anything.

"This moron...? Stay with us?"

"Look, Liddell. There's already too much shenanigans about you. First, hiding your gender, now this? Figure out your life—I wouldn't be so pissed off if I can find another flat but unfortunately, I can't."

"But what—"

"So can we please, stop this madness?" Julius demanded.

Alice felt a headache coming. She didn't understand whatever Julius was talking about. Yes, Julius knew her true gender, but he didn't care as long as she didn't bother him. And...what else? What's 'this'?

"What? What is it? I don't understand, at all!" she threw her hands to the air in frustration. "What else did I do wrong!?"

Then the door was opened, and Boris Airay peeked his head through the gap with an irritated scowl.

"Can't both of you shut your bloody twats, I'm trying to sleep here." He slammed the door close again.

Alice's mouth hung open and her glasses slid off her nose. Julius angrily gestured his hand to the door.

"This, this is what is wrong, Liddell."

As if college starting wasn't already bad enough, now the suicidal star Airay was possibly going to be a free-loader in their flat. Alice looked up at the ceilings and let out a frustrated groan.

"The fucking world!"