Warning: Lemon, Incest, Slash (yaoi, Boy/boy)

Apologies

By: .Affair.

Charles wasn't sorry; he was never sorry about anything. And even when he raised his bat and aimed for the trembling face of his reclusive brother, he felt nothing but pleasure when Adams nose break with a crack of the bat. He looked into his brothers eyes; a deep blue swirling with pain and a tinge of terror peered up at him, with a shaky hand covering his bleeding nose. Their eyes locked, and through a silent whimper Adam reassured his younger brother that he would not run away, simply because he wasn't fast enough. Charles fought the urge to laugh, killing the bubbling in his throat, because he really did love his brother. And when he hurt him bits and pieces of him broke and tarnished, and he could feel the steady grip of an elusive creature control his actions. But he didn't resist, he submitted, because under the guilt and overwhelming love, he enjoyed the others fear and desolation to a great extent.

And so he hit again.

And again.

Once to the ribcage ( and to his delight, Adams soft, rosy lips spat out the air in his lungs) and once to the top of his head, where blood clumped chunks of his chestnut colored hair that always seemed to play with the rays of sunlight. His lean body was now snuggled in the grass, which lapped up the blood that trickled from his wounds. Charles sneered, kicking his brother in the stomach to execute some sort of reaction from him. Adam let out a pitiful grunt, disappointing Charles, who gripped the bat tightly in his balled up fist and walked away.

An hour later, Charles had crept downstairs to see his brother cleaning himself up with a basin of hot water. He relished the moments when he would hiss at his stinging wounds, or when his innocent face would scrunch in pain. Finally, when the water in the basin turned a pinkish hue, Adam trotted up to their room, eyes gazing down on the floor and avoiding Charles's thorny stare.

Charles didn't mind, he found it perfectly pleasing when Adam was frightened of him; it let him know that despite being younger he was in control; that he was stronger, faster and better than Adam. Not only that but he knew who his mother was; his mother and father were still with him while Adams had committed suicide. This was a trick Charles used with care, one that he did not take lightly. He knew how to use his tongue, and exactly what to say to make Adam feel a certain way. ' Your mother must've hated you, that's why she killed herself' or ' You must've been so damn ugly that she just had to end her life.', and as soon as he said these words Adam would attempt to brush it off but Charles would still catch him knit his eyebrows together and see his pretty eyes glisten. Charles enjoyed that very much, and though it was a joy to see, he didn't use this scheme very often.

But he often found himself wondering what Adam's mother was like, probably as much as Adam himself. He wondered whether she had Adams deep, sensual eyes, or Adams fine brown hair. He wondered whether her body was lean and shy, as Adams was, or if she enjoyed things quietly as Adam did. What if her face was as warm as Adams, or perhaps as inviting?

Looking at his father, and at Adam, he thought of how his brother received his beautiful face from an unknown mother. Then Charles would look at his own mother, Alice, and cringe at her pale, dull eyes and at her sickly yellow complexion and her crooked teeth. This made him angry, to the point where all of his fits would be directed at Adams face. Nose broken several times, jaw cracked, gashes and cuts that healed moderately and yet Charles found his brother gorgeous.

He loathed it.

That night, after supper ended and the boys were washed up and ready for bed; Charles had awkwardly stood beside the closed door of their room staring at Adam who was adjusting his blankets. He stared at Adams nose, which was red and covered in gauze and at his head which was half wrapped in a white, red tainted, cloth. And Charles knew that Adam was also wrapped up nicely around the ribcage despite concealing his body with his cotton pajama top.

Charles listened, positive that Alice had gone to sleep and that his father was probably down stairs sitting. He slowly let go of the door knob and inched toward Adam in a leisurely stride. His brother tilted his head up but his eyes remained on the floor.

" Look at me Adam." Charles insisted, though his brothers eyes dilated and remained on the floor. That's when Charles sat on his bed, staring at his brother through narrow eyes. That was one difference between them; Adams eyes were bigger, more inquisitive while Charles eyes were more narrow, and mature with a hint of cynicism. Charles was about to repeat himself until Adam grasped his own broken nose, wincing.

" I said I was sorry, it was an accident." His voice became quiet, as if he was afraid he might rouse their father from the living room. " I'm sorry. . .Charles."

Charles continued to stare, eyes inspecting every detail of Adams face. His hand, a darker tan than Adams, reached over to grasp Adams nose lightly. Adam winced, now clutching the sheets under him.

" Did I do this?" His lips twitched from a grimace into a smirk. Adam, about to nod, realized Charles still tightly held his nose and refrained from making any movement.

" Did I Adam?"

A meek voice responded.

" Yes. . ."

" Does it hurt?"

" Yes. . ."

" As much as the last time?"

". . .yes, Charles. . .yes."

Charles nodded, letting go of his brothers nose and inching closer. Adam reclined, back against the wall.

The tan hand trailed down to Adams chest, feeling the area where he hit him.

" And here. . . Does it hurt here, too?" Charles looked up and Adam could see the rage in his brothers eyes, deceiving the small smile on his lips.

" Yes." Adam nodded, and glanced down again, looking at his brothers hand rub the spot tenderly.

And then Charles leaned over and brushed his lips against Adam's nose, grazing the spot gently without a peck. Immediately Adam turned his head, eyes wide at Charles action.

" Shhh." Charles hushed him, unbuttoning Adam's pajama top slowly and slid it off. The cool air hit Adams shoulders as he cringed and leaned against the wall. Soon Charles hand were replaced by his lips, which repeated the same action on his ribcage but this time in light pecks. Adam was silent, feeling a faint fear gnaw at him from the inside. Charles adjusted himself to tower over his brother, gazing down at his weak figure.

" It won't happen again, Adam, I know that." He smiled, hands weaving themselves into Adams hair and lightly pulling the strands near his wound. He looked down at Adams helpless, confused face and he felt the power he had over him, knowing he could do what he damn pleased and his brother couldn't do anything nor tell anyone. He pushed him down roughly.

" I love you, I really do." Charles purred, a slight snicker in his voice. " Daddy loves you best Adam and so do I."

The hand tightened its hold and yanked. Adam cried out but was silenced by Charles other hand, pushing roughly down on his lips. His eyes flickered in rage, eyes wide and full of hatred.

" Hush up now Adam, we wouldn't want to disturb daddy."

Adam shook his head to and fro, attempting to shake his brother off but Charles only yanked harder suddenly feeling a slight oozing of liquid on his own hand. Blood. Not a lot of it but still blood.

His hand retreated and then began to roam about Adams chest, discarding the pajama top and pulling his pants down. Adam spoke up, voice muffled against his brothers palm.

" What?" Charles demanded, pulling his hand away and Adams side.

" What are you doing Charles?" Adams voice broke out, scared and slightly aggravated.

" What am I doing? Loving you." His brothers eyes flashed in helplessness once more as he bent down to his neck, enjoying the heat radiating off of Adams body. " Fathers not giving any. You need it, and I sure as hell do too. "

He proceeded to kiss his brothers chest once more, hands trailing farther and farther down until reaching his brothers member. He rubbed lightly with two fingers, feeling it harden and rise against his touch. Adam moaned, panting slightly, pleading Charles to stop with his wide eyes. Charles grunted, nuzzling his brothers neck once more. And then he felt something between his legs, a warm sensation and a stiffening. Charles moaned, hips rubbing against Adams.

" Charles. . .ah, Charles, stop." Adam wheezed, hands white from clutching the bed sheets under him. And Charles loved it; the way Adam begged him to stop, his voice impudent and small and the way he practically breathed his name. And as he felt himself get harder, he reached down and grabbed his brothers member, groping it with his hand and slowly pumping. Adam began to whine, his own body fallowing his brothers touch unwillingly. His voice became louder, until Charles ceased his cries with his lips, feeling a slight anxiety that their father might hear.

He slide his hand up and down Adam, thumb massaging the very tip while his tongue flickered into his brothers mouth. Adam moaned, hands shyly reaching up to hold Charles against him until he suddenly rose up, staring down at his brother; Adams cheeks were flushed and his mouth glistened a soft pink. Charles slipped off his own shirt and his pants, once more toppling on top of Adam. He scrambled down, still pumping his brothers member, and soon licked the tip with his tongue earning another whine from Adam.

" Shut up, Dad'll here you." he scolded, tongue swirling around the fully erect length. Adam moaned something, a plea for his brother to stop, but Charles dismissed it and enveloped the length fully in his mouth. Adam's back arched, and he bit his lip to stop himself from crying out. Charles moved it in and out, wetting the member thoroughly and then tickling the tip with his tongue gently.

" Charles, please. . .ahhh. ." Adam moaned again, hips squirming under his brothers touch. Then he felt Charles's hand began pumping again, and he felt his brother blow cold air to his tip. His back arched once more, voice shrill and moaning.

" Oh God, Charles, stop. . ." To Adam's relief and slight displeasure, Charles let go. The panting boy sighed, but soon he ceased breathing at the sight of his brothers length in his face. He looked up and saw the stern face of his brother looking down at him threateningly.

" Charles. . ." Adam tried to reason until he saw the dark, tan fist rise slightly in front of his face. His lips parted, looking up at Charles hesitantly who shoved himself in. Adam gagged, feeling his brother move himself in and out, while holding Adam by the hair. Adam sucked gently, not sure what to do. Charles, sensing this, growled.

" Touch me." It wasn't a suggestion, it was a command. And so Adams hands lifted up, rubbing Charles's length with his nimble fingers, and swirling his tongue the way he felt Charles had. Charles moaned, his cheeks tinted red against his tan skin. Adam, now pumping with both hands, licked Charles tip in a hurry." Uh, God, yes." Charles moaned, panting. " Adam, God, Adam, keep going."

Adam continued, movements becoming jerky against his brothers swaying hips. And Charles slowly lifted himself off, and moved down once more. He grabbed his brothers shoulder, roughly trying to turn him onto his stomach. Adam turned, slightly confused, and felt Charles's hands on his butt. Then it struck Adam, the reason why Charles had forced his way into Adams mouth.

He felt Charles shove himself in, and Adam screamed, voice muffled against his pillow. Back throbbing in a searing pain, and broken nose being pushed roughly against the bed, his eyes prickled with tears and he began to scream even louder. He felt Charles's chest against his back, warm and sweaty, as he went in and out. His lips were to Adams's ear, and Adam could hear his brothers grunts of content as he pulled Adam to him tightly with his arms.

" Adam, I love you. . ." He growled, but his words fell on deaf ears, as Adam began to sob into the pillow, feeling the pain accompanied by pleasure. Adam became hard once more, and he could feel his brother scramble to grasp his member. He rubbed him roughly, teasing him with his fingers until Adam couldn't take it.

" Charles, Charles I can't hold it in."

And then he felt the muscles in his body contract rhythmically and his breaths were short and quick.

He felt himself ejaculate a liquid into his brothers hand, who quickly wiped it away without another thought. Adam moaned, and Charles retracted his hand, now holding onto Adams sides. Adam, surprised, heard his brother emit a small whine and soft moan, then his member shook slightly inside Adam and a warm liquid over flowed. Charles pulled out, panting, and looked down at his brother who's eyes were puffy and red from tears.

His hands rubbed him gently, in a soothing way as he tumbled beside his brother. Adam didn't respond, and instead remained lying on his front.

" Adam. . ." Charles leaned over, holding his brother. He repeated, " Adam. . ."

Adam let out a shaky breath, and his shoulders shifted.

" Does it hurt?" Charles's hand rubbed his brothers lower back side, and his lips blew hot air into his ear.

" Does it hurt Adam?"

Adam involuntarily shifted into his brothers chest, stomach still against the bed. He turned his head to look up at him, eyes glistening and face relaxed in slight ecstasy. For once, Charles didn't have hatred in his eyes, or an inextinguishable rage. There was no snide and cynical smirk, nor a clenched fist ready to threaten Adam. His narrow eyes were soft, and cheeks flushed, holding his elder brother against him tightly, and softly. Adam sighed, resting his forehead against his brothers chest, and bringing his arm to hang across his side. He whispered, voice slightly audible-

" Yes."

Oh, where did this come from you ask? My sick, fan girl imagination. . .

East of Eden was an amazing book, and I really got into Adam and Charles twisted relation ship. The whole, I love you but ARRGG, I hate you and yet I LOVE you!!!! Yeah. . .this site needs a category for this story :\