She felt the heat seep into her cheeks slowly, the redness spreading from her ears to her cheeks and was sure he could hear her breathing quicken. She couldn't hide any more. The calm, composed Head Girl, Lily Evans, could no longer hide her feelings for James Potter.
"Evans! Hey Evans, wait!"
Lily broke into a run. Maybe she couldn't hide, but she would definitely try to run. She tore through a tapestry, not daring to look back but hearing his footsteps pounding behind her. She had come to recognise his gait anywhere in the last few months. She had come to be familiar with a lot of things about him actually. The way his eyes sparkled when he was thinking of something mischievous. The way his forehead wrinkled when he was concentrating, poring over his spellbooks for an exam. The way he placed himself in front of all his friends, not like a leader, but more like he was protecting them. She shook her head as she ran, feeling the familiar blush fill her face again.
"Evans!"
Lily ran harder, turned a corner in the narrow passageway and swore loudly. The passage ended in a solid block of wall. She whirled around just in time to see James come bounding around the corner. He slowed as he saw her and bent over, hands on his knees as he panted with the effort of running after her.
"You could have slowed down, you know. I only wanted to check if you were okay. You sure know how to give a guy a good chase, Evans," he sighed as he straightened up.
A good chase. What if that was all she was? Her reasons for hiding her feelings from him for the last two months came crashing back into her mind. She backed away until she hit the wall and sat down heavily, her head in her palms.
James approached tentatively. "Lily? Are you okay?" He touched her shoulder and felt the familiar swooping sensation in his stomach and the sparks that seemed to jump up his arms. He didn't know how much longer he could hide his feelings for her. He had stopped asking her out, he had tried his best at being Head Boy and for the past few weeks, she had seemed to flirt with him. He had hoped against hope and today, he had seen her Patronus –a doe, exactly the complement of his stag. Surely it had to mean something. Surely, hehad to mean something to her.
She jerked away from his touch. She removed her palms from her face but she looked down and wouldn't meet his eyes. Her face was red again - whether from the exertion of running or because she was blushing from his touch, James couldn't tell. She looked like she was trying to hide in the cramped passage, making herself as small as possible in the corner. James couldn't conceal the tenderness in his eyes and voice as he sat down beside her.
"You know," he said softly, "if something's bothering you, you should let it out. It isn't good to keep your feelings all hidden inside you like that and then run away in the middle of class."
"I can't hide anymore. That's the problem," Lily muttered.
"What happened, Evans? You're not making any sense. Come to think of it, you've been acting really odd lately. You get distracted in Prefect meetings; there was that incident last week where you nearly dumped your pumpkin juice on Sally Hopper's head after the Quidditch match when she was talking to me; you yelled at me for complimenting you on that dress you wore to Slughorn's party even though I was being genuine. You turn red every time you see me and you barely talk to me anymore. You don't even look at me properly anymore. And just now, you raced out of the class when I cast my Patronus at the same time as yours. What's wrong, Lily? Let me help you," James said. He was looking at her, concerned. But Lily continued to avoid his eyes. He placed a palm over hers. "Let me help you," he repeated.
To his surprise, she flared up immediately. She snatched her palm away and glared at him. "You can't help me, you're the reason for everything!" she snapped.
James looked nonplussed. "What did I do now? Merlin, woman, you have a problem with me when I'm nice too! I just chased after you for ten minutes, even though that was a really important lesson and here you are, yelling at me!"
"Why did you keep asking me out?" Lily said abruptly, throwing her caution to the winds. She was going to find out, once and for all if he still liked her.
"I - what?" James looked at her. "What on earth are you trying to get at?"
"Why did you keep asking me out? Was it for the thrill of the chase, the anticipation of going after a girl you never thought you'd get? Would you have just gone out with me on date and kissed me and dumped me right after that since you'd finally managed to do it? Would you have changed for me at all? Did you even care about me or was it just for a laugh with your mates?" Lily burst out.
James turned to face her completely; his eyes serious, with just the tiniest bit of hope glinting in them that this was the moment he had been waiting for. That she was asking because she liked him too and she was trying to find out if he still felt the same. That this was the moment she would tell him how much she fancied him and he had not been fooling himself into thinking she had been making advances. "Why are you asking me this?"
"Because I want an honest answer." She couldn't mask the desperation, the longing for the answer she wanted. She couldn't hide anymore.
James looked right into her eyes. "Initially, it was for the thrill, I'll admit that. But around fifth year, it grew more serious. I didn't like seeing you hanging around Snape. I didn't like how popular with all the other guys for that matter. I loved watching the way your eyes shone when you got an answer right in class, or you were top of the year. I liked the way your hair flew around when you got all agitated yelling at me or my friends. I loved how you would turn red when you screamed yourself hoarse, cheering Gryffindor on in the Quidditch matches. I liked a lot of things about you, Lily. If I had got a chance to go out on a date with you, then I would never have let you go." He smiled slightly, his cheeks tinged red as he looked away. "Besides, if I could kiss you, why on earth would I stop at just one and dump you? I got to know you better this year and the past year. I know that when you fall in love, you give yourself wholeheartedly to the relationship. I would not do anything to hurt you because I know how much pain it would cause you. I was there when you cried over Belby, remember?
"As for the changing, Lily, this whole serious, mature version of me, is partly for you. Dad took me on one of his safer Auror missions. I've seen what the Death Eaters can do. There was no point in being childish anymore. I knew it was time to grow up. And that's what you had told me last year too, wasn't it? During that big fight we had just before Christmas. You said that I was just as bad as the Death Eaters; the way I treated anyone whom I thought was weaker than me or had offended me. You jolted me out of that immaturity.
"In fact, I shouldn't be saying any of this in the past tense, Lily. I still fancy you. I've only been hiding my feelings from you because I thought you didn't reciprocate them and I am now mature enough to understand that I value having you in my life - at least as a friend – so much so that I don't want to scare you away. I would still ask you out every day, if you gave me your permission. I realised you noticed me more when I wasn't constantly pestering you."
He looked at her. "But I've noticed things about you too, Lily Evans - things that as you yourself say, you can't seem to hide anymore." He lifted her chin with two fingers, locking eyes with her. "I can see your beautiful green eyes relaxing, softening as you're processing what I'm saying. I can hear your breathing getting quicker, just the way it has been doing on those late night study sessions when you unconsciously get closer to me. I can feel your heart racing, just the way it did when I hugged you first after the Quidditch match last week. I've noticed you staring at me in class – I used to do it to you too." He moved his palm to her cheek. "I've seen you blush every time you see me. So, let me ask you Lily Evans, why are you asking me this? I'd like an honest answer too."
Lily looked right into his eyes, no hesitation this time. "Because I like you, James Potter. I fancy you. That's what I've been trying to hide. I was afraid that you had gotten over me just at the time I fell for you. I was afraid that you were only interested in me for the chase. But that's not the case, is it?"
He shook his head. "So, Evans," he smirked slightly. "Will you go out with me?"
Lily closed the distance between their lips. When they broke apart, he looked dazed and she smirked back. "Yes, Potter, I will."
Please review :) It has been ages since I wrote fanfiction so feedback will be much appreciated!
This is as reserve for Beater 1 of the Tutshill Tornadoes. The prompt was the line "I can't hide" from the Beatles' song "I Want To Hold Your Hand"
