I'm lying on the roof, arms behind my head and one leg bent in my normal musing position, just staring up at the stars, wondering. Do they ever have these problems? Do they ever feel the world is closing in on them? Have they ever loved someone knowing they have no time left on the outside world with that love? Are they looking down on me in shame? She knows the truth, how can she feel? She knows I can't be out in this world much longer, graduation is coming fast and still I have not defeated Yuki.

A light May breeze blows down the valley, ruffling my hair as it goes, calling quietly to the trees. The light is fading, painting colours and pictures across the skies for only me to see. I smile softly to myself, even if my own emotions are anything but happy, and I draw my mind back thinking about this evening and how it managed to end so badly.

-

As always I ruin everything. We were all sat around the table eating another of Tohru's delicious meals, when Shigure asks about school, (he just wants to come down to see all the high school girls. That sick pervert)

Yuki answered in a tiered quiet voice 'It was ok I guess, the student council is getting ready for another big week, Miss Honda has got full marks in her test again' he beamed at her. Just the fact he looks at her makes my blood boil and I want to hit him.

'I didn't do that well, Yuki-kun. And if it was not for your help I would not have done very well at all' Tohru smiled at him with her sweet careless smile.

'And you Kyo, what about you?' Shigure questioned me.

'Nothing happened, it's all so boring,' I concentrated on my food, not wanting to talk about it.

'He failed his tests.' Yuki said shortly

'I did not' I stood up slamming my hands on the table and yelling at the rat 'Anyway, it's your fault, you were up till one this morning listening to that crap of yours, you damn rat. I could not sleep or concentrate on my work!' my breathing was fast coming in and out in short pants.

'Don't blame me for you not studying or staying up on the roof all night. That's your own fault you worthless cat!'

'You're calling me a slacker? I should punch you up right now, right here!'

'Yeah, I'd like to see you try!'

Our heads were so close I could feel his breath, his hands clenched into fists at his side. My pulse was so fast I could hear it in my ears.

'Don't fight you two, just sit down, and stop this. Anyway, this lovely food Tohru has made will go cold.'

'Please Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun, don't fight' Tohru pleaded in her loving tone, never hard or harsh or unkind.

I relaxed my stance and move away from the rat, but he did not do the same. Instead he ran at me shouting,

'I've had enough of your crap, own up to your mistakes. AND DON'T BLAME ME!!!!'

He lunged at me, striking me in my right side, as I flew backwards I aimed a kick to his head, just missing it.

'What the hell, I just backed down!' I shouted as I went to punch him in the stomach repeatedly. He dodged the first couple punches but as I predicted, he would get too used to me punching in a certain way. As he went to dodge the wrong way, I smashed him in his left side, sending him flying across the room into one of the doors.

'Please, don't knock my house down. I still want to live here after you two have killed each other!'

'Don't worry Shigure; I will fix it after I have finished with this worthless CAT!' Yuki shouted as he ran at me from the wreckage of the door. He ran with arm out stretched to grab my shirt and throw me over his head; he got half way when Tohru called to us,

'Please, stop fighting, for once. Please, I don't want you to fight.' She whispered in her loving and concerned voice.

Yuki stopped in his tracks, lowering his arm, gazing at her with an expression that I have never seen. Plastered all over his face. He looked like he was about to run, and pick her up in a tight embraces. That really pissed me off! How could he, she mine, I won't let him take her from me! This anger fuelled my next out explosion of rage.

'I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU DAMNN RAT!' I ran at him, full speed, knowing that I would get him this time. He was still staring at Tohru to see me coming. I slammed into his side, knocking him into the wall where he slumped a little, but not falling to the, just as I plan. As I reached him, he let out an involuntary groan, making me smile. I pushed him up against the wall, holding him there with my right hand as I punched his stomach with my left. I became over confident and suddenly he had pushed me off him and was now standing a little way off from me, panting with his hands on his knees, head bowed, blood running down his left cheek.

'DAMNN CAT. LEAVE ME ALONE!' he screamed, running for me again.

Unfortunately I never got to hit again that night. Because…

Out of nowhere, Tohru had jumped up and was now stood in between the rampaging Yuki and me!

How could she be so damn stupid! She could have got more seriously hurt. I was not in control of myself. I watched it happen in slow motion.

I went to push her out the way and as I did so Yuki crashed into me, I was sent flying, but was able to control it and landed as a cat would, crouched and ready to pounce again. This time it was me running at Yuki, he just stood there, glaring at me. I raised my leg to perform a round house kick to his stomach, but as I move closer to him, Tohru ran to stand in front of him. My eyes widened in horror at what I could see was the inevitable. She was going to be hit! BY ME!!!

She was smacked in the side of her ribs. Later I found out I had broken two of her ribs and had ruptured some archeries. How could I look at her again, knowing I have broken her small fragile body?

Yuki ran to where she had fallen, placing his hands on her side, to roll her over so that she was facing us. Blood ran slowly down her face, as if taunting me with the pain I had caused.

'Shigure, quick, SHIGURE! CALL HATORI! She's really hurt!' He shouted to the dog before looking back down at Tohru, that same sickening expression of care and adoration plastered on his face. 'It's ok, Tohru, Miss Honda, it's ok, we have called Hatori, he's coming to help you. Just hold on ok?' Quietly to himself and Tohru, Yuki repeated the same words over and over to comfort her. She stirred a couple of times, but it was only to cough up blood or to gasp in pain. I just stood rooted to the spot in shock.

'What have I done?' I stared at my hands which were red from fighting and had Yuki's blood splashed over my cloths.

'You are an abomination, Kyo, how could you? You say you love her, well… what the hell happened? Yuki asked in quiet rage.

Tohru coughed again, making me winces in pain to see her like this.

'Ok, Hatori is on his way… and Momiji is coming. He heard the conversation and now wants to make sure her is alright… what came over you, Kyo? Ha…how…how could you?'

I had no answer; I just looked at the floor, a shamed at my control. If I was controlled I could have stopped just short of her, but no. I didn't.

10 minutes later Hatori walked into Tohru's room, where we had laid her. After giving me a disgusted look, he turned to Tohru. Getting tools out of his bag he turned to us and asked 'Are you all sure you want to be here? This will be painful for her and I can't have any of you jumping in to help her.'

We all nodded and Momiji sniffed and buried his head into Yuki's shirt. He had not said anything to me since entering the house; he just stared at Tohru and sniffed.

-

As I look back on it now, I can't see how I did not jump on Hatori when Tohru screamed out in pain as he tried to strap her ribs. He gave her an injection, I think, to stop the blood, but still she had the stains all down her top and dry tracks of blood on her face. Shigure asked me after why I had failed my test; I did not give him the whole answer. It was because of training I told him. Yes it was training, but for the soul reason that I could beat Yuki, then maybe Akito would let me stay on the outside with Tohru. In the end that training had injured her. How I love her. I wish I could tell her everything… but Akito would be mad then and maybe her memory would be wiped or worse he would hurt her like he has the others. I could not, would not let him touch her!.. But she's my world; I need her there so I can feel my life is worth living. The way she smiles at me as if I and only I matter, she's always making me express things I would usually keep locked up inside. Just her presence makes me fly. I think she knows what's going to happen to me. That I will be locked up, never to feel another human beings touch as long as I live. The fact that she is still here after seeing my true form… why is she still here? Why would she want to stay with a monster? Why can't I be like Yuki, care free and not affected by this crap!

'Yuki has been having a hard time, Akito blames him for that fact we are all leaving. I think you should cut him some slack, Kyo, ok? And don't be angry at him, he needs to let out his anger as much as you do.' Shigure took me aside to suggest leaving that rat alone? Maybe, that's why Yuki jumped at me?

I can't let things get out of hand again, even if it means never beating Yuki. I would not be able to stand by and let Tohru scream like that again. She is too precious to me and the rest of us who have put all our hopes in her.

Sliding off the roof, I peer into her room. I often sit outside her room and watch her sleep, it makes me feel better. Also I know then that she will still be there in the morning. She looks at peace, so small with all those blankets around here. Momiji is asleep on the floor next to her bed; he snores softly as he curls in to a tight ball around a bunny teddy. I will tell her one day how I feel. I want to hold her close and tight, so that nothing can get to her and that she will be mine. I can just feel it now. One day I will look at the sky and the stars with Tohru in my arms and know that I can be as peaceful and free as she is.