A lady in a purple work uniform was holding onto a clipboard with several pieces of paper attached to it, a black pen was tucked in behind her ear as she walked into a Red colored base, her name was Miss. Pauling. An important and valued employe at Man. Co. One of their greatest assassin's and the lady they always call when they need something done. Today was her one day off work, so she decided to spend it with her boyfriend in RED's Base, since they don't spend much time together with her tight schedule she thought a surprise visit might be nice. So she walked to the door and knocked…
A man with a Red Ski Mask and House Robe opened the door, this man was Spy, a French speaking immigrant and one of France's best agents. Spy had a tired look, but he became a bit surprised to see Miss. Pauling here on her day off. "Oh Miss. Pauling, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be gone somewhere else? Like the beach or a restaurant." His voice was like a desert, it sounded like he might be a bit sick.
The young lady cleared her throat "Well, I just thought I'd stop by for a visit, mostly to spend time with Scout but it won't hurt to spend some time with everybody else…"
Spy sighed a bit "I suppose you may come in, but I'm afraid everybody, including myself, have come down with something and we hope it isn't contagious… But we've been given two weeks off to try and get better."
"You're all sick? How is that possible? I'd expect one third of the team sick but not everybody."
"It's a strange coincidence. Yes. Everybody is in their rooms bundled up… Except for Pyro, he's burning up so much that we had to put him in a bucket of Ice… he ended up melting the ice… so now it's just cold water."
The Assassin raised an eyebrow "Spy if you're sick shouldn't you be in bed to?"
"No." The French man shook his head "Somebody needs to keep everybody well fed and living. Even if I'm sick I can't let my co-workers be sick with me. Plus I prefer to be in a chair with a newspaper instead of being cooped up in a large, hot, sweaty bed. Plus it'll be good for me."
The young woman nodded, it seemed off for Spy to care so much, but she can level with him, beds do get sweaty when you've got the flu. Nobody wants to be bedridden, now how fun is it being cooped up inside unable to accomplish anything?
"Scout is in his room, I'll let him know he has a visitor." Spy sighed, no emotion was in his voice. The French man guided Miss. Pauling to the Red baseball player's room and knocked on the door.
"Yeah come on in, the door ain't locked." The voice inside the room was hoarse, dry like a desert. Much like Spy's, minus the French accent and deep voice, it sounded younger and had a Boston accent.
Inside was a bedridden man in a Red T Shirt with the number 1 on it with Maroon colored Pajama shorts, face buried into his pillow. His face looked tired and bored, but his expression changed to wide eyes and a thousand yard smile when he saw his girlfriend "Miss P!"
Scout leapt out of bed, ran to Miss. Pauling and gave her a big hug. "What are you doin' here babe? I thought today was your day- woah! Almost lost my balance there!"
Scout held on to the Assassin for support and slowly hoisted himself up and walked to his bed, then sat down.
"Careful Scout, you don't want to start throwing up with all of your roughhousing do you?" Spy rolled his eyes at Scout
"It's fine." Miss. Pauling held Scout's hand trying not to give the man a reason to at least be a bit concerned. "You go on and check on everybody else. I'll stay in here 'till I'm ready to leave or you kick me out."
Spy sighed and closed the door to give Pauling and Scout some privacy. Miss. Pauling turned towards scout "So…?" She asked "How are you feeling? Spy said everybody was sick, including him."
Scout snickered "Tired as hell. My neck and sides hurt a lot, I'm super thirsty, my legs don't wanna work and give out sometimes, and I think I might be getting a rash, 'cause like my leg feels super dry and it's super flakey when I scratch it. I swear I saw a fish scale there. Heavy says he's had a home remedy, it tastes good, but it's just a buncha fruit mixed into some weird creamy thing."
Scout definitely showed signs that he was scratching like a mad man, there were patches of red all over his legs, and empty water bottles littered the floor further proving he may be dehydrated, or at least is incredibly thirsty. Plus the bags under his eyes definitely shows.
"I've heard Pyro was burning up…" Miss Pauling began to mess with her jacket, rubbing the end with the zipper a bit anxiously.
Scout nodded "Guy's on fire! Literally, Soldier almost burnt his hand when he laid it on Chucklenuts' shoulder. Like damn. He's probably turned his bucket of water into a hot tub by now!" He then put his hand over his mouth in thought "Ok now that I think about it that doesn't sound half bad."
Pauling chuckled a bit, even when he's sick, Scout still manages to be optimistic and make the best out of everything. Then out of the blue Scout looked a bit green, and bolted it towards the bathroom. Miss. Pauling could have sworn she heard Spy shout "SCOUT GET BACK TO BED!"
Not even a minute later he walked back paler than usual as Spy was escorting him, Scout seemed annoyed while Spy gave him the same look a father would give his child when they did something wrong.
"Scout what did I tell you about roughhousing?" The older man frowned
Scout pouted and crossed his arms "Well excuse me for being sick and needing to barf."
"You had a bucket!"
"Ugh, dear God spy."
"There's more."
"Spy. No. I'm not a baby I can-"
"Scout you're sick!"
"So are you!"
"What if you fell down and hurt yourself?"
"Oh you suddenly care? What happened to the whole 'Scout you're so annoying, why are you such a nuisance?' Crap?"
Spy sighed and crossed his arms, he was clearly done with this conversation, he said nothing more but pointed to the bed and said "Go to bed. Now."
The younger man grunted and sat down next to Miss. Pauling as Spy shut the door and left again.
"You ok?" Miss. Pauling asked.
Scout jolted his head up "Yeah, I'm fine, I just can't keep anything down, literally anything except a Tuna Sandwich Hot Head made for me… really I can only eat anything with fish in it. It's weird, like, who gets sick like this?" Scout chuckled, again and Miss. Pauling agreed.
"Well, I'd best leave you to rest" Miss. Pauling sighed as Scout lid down again "You need it."
"So I can be handsomer than I already am?" Scout then flexed the muscle in his dominant arm, making the young woman giggle
"Sure Scout… sure"
Miss. Pauling gave Scout a kiss on the cheek before she turned off the lights and left. But now she was curious about the remaining 6 Mercs… So she opened the door to Soldiers room.
"Hey Soldier"
No reply. The assassin opened the door to find Soldier hard at work.
"What cha doin' Solly?"
Soldier turned his head "I am sewing my arm back on to my body, as it has fallen off… again."
He sounded so calm about this, he usually did when ever he was playing the role of the maggot. But how can somebody be so calm about their arm falling off!? Jane Doe, Soldier, himself that's who.
"WHAT!? Soldier! You should go get the uber charge from Medic! Or- or at least tell him you need to be-"
"Medic is currently tied up with ropes with a thirst for blood at the moment." Soldier interrupted. "Now I need to sew my arm back on. Goodbye Boss."
Miss. Pauling slowly closed the door and held her forehead, this confused and concerned her greatly, Pyro is literally on fire. Medic is tied up. Scout and Spy seem to have come up with the same flu. And Soldier lost an arm. What's next? A crash in the kitchen, that's what. Damn, who is it this time?!
Miss. Pauling walked towards the kitchen, and spotted spy on the couch, snoring away. It seems like he did come down with something similar to Scout, though he didn't have signs of a rash. Alexa sighed and walked on towards the kitchen and spotted Sniper ripping away at some raw meat, with a bite that seemed humanly impossible, while Engineer was sitting at the table with an ice pack on his forehead, a bit paler than his usual texas completion, he must have a migraine…
Sniper chewed away not noticing Miss. Pauling as she came by, but Engineer sure did. All she did was wave at him. He waved back as he tried not to puke, and made sure sniper wasn't eating his bacon.
"so… Spy and Scout are at most dehydrated. Pyro has a terrible case of the Flu. Soldier lost a limb. Medic is tied up with a taste for human blood. Sniper is eating a raw steak, and Engineer has a migraine. What's wrong with the other two?"
Miss. Pauling sighed, she thought it's best if she left for home, no need to get sick like the others. Pauling opened the door and left for her car. The drive to her apartment seemed a bit longer, as thoughts raced through Miss. Pauling's head. What's going on? Surely something's up. How is someone only able to eat fish products and nothing else? How is somebody able to have a craving for blood and need to be tied up for it? How can somebody eat raw meat? How is somebody's body temperature able to go beyond 37°? All of these questions and more kept racing through her head. What could possibly cause all of this…? Surely there's no virus to cause this. Is there? No of course not…
Right?