America's Kids and Canada's Children
DISCLAIMER: HETALIA IS NOT MINE NOR ARE THE STATES BUT THE WAY I SEE THEM AND PORTRAY THEM IS!
Another world conference that was barely getting anywhere, the usual chaos over rode the politics. France had England in a headlock, Russia was well- being creepy as par the norm, Germany was attempting to retain his temper and sanity while Italy yammered in his ear about pasta, Japan was sketching new anime characters while China thought up ways to break the copyright laws to steal said characters. The only thing that seemed out of place was America's intense gaze upon his Samsung galaxy, his ever sweet twin; Canada took notice of this, feeling a bit worried as he hugged his bear, Kumajiro. The Canadian observed his brother- the sheer intensity of his stance was brutal- , normally his brother would be in the midst of the chaos screaming about heroes and spouting craziness (to hide his true intellectual and threatening nature) but today... Not so much.
"Al..." The Canadian eased eyeing his tense brother with caution.
"Hm?" Grunted the American, the subtle yet angered glare he gave his twin revealed everything. Canada sighed and switched languages.
"Admodum est haedos iterum?" (Is it the kids?)
"Yeah, ego dissolvam templum sollicitus advenero laedet ... i ..." (Yeah, i'm worried... i'm worried they'll destroy the house again...)
"Ut 'Intellegi..." (That's understandable...)
America shuddered at the thought; the chaos that awaited his return home was horrifying: the broken windows, the shattered vases and china, the busted TVs and computers, the screaming ohhh the screaming! Canada shared his brother's sentiments only to a lesser extent. Canada watched in worry as his brother fidgeted but calmed a bit when the elder blond channeled the fidgeting to his right leg bouncing it up and down quickly. America psyched himself into tearing his gaze from his phone only to finally take notice of something vital... A) the other nations who'd previously been fighting had quieted down and B) they were staring at him like he just committed murder.
"What?" He questioned.
"Zhis is zhe oddezt zhing I've zeen zince lazt week'z drinking party..." France acclaimed. "A zilent America?"
"Oi, ya wanker! Aren't you going to bloody say something?" Asked an angry Britain. "We've been at each other's throats since the damn meeting started and you haven't said shit!" America gave him a death glare which instantly put the British man back into his place.
"Ferme ta gueule, aight Im pas Feelin..." (Shut the fuck up, I'm not feelin a'ight...)
"Did he just speak French?" Questioned Germany with a hint of shock.
"Cool~! Ve~! Mister America do you speak Italian?"
"Sì, ma per favore ho un mal di testa pazza." (Yes, but please i have a mad headache.)
"Mister America if you are not feeling well, I have some video games that might ease your stress."
"Dis is красивый, да?" Teased Russia. "A quiet submissive America." America then threw the Russian a glare, one that put the Russian's sister; Belarus to shame! The tense American then shot back at him with.
"Россия, я не в настроении для йо дерьмо..." ( Russia, I'm not in the mood for yo shit...). Everyone shrank back from the irritated American even China who was going to complain about the money he was owed. At that America felt a reassuring hand on his shoulder, his sweet and angelic twin Canada.
"You worry too much."
"You have lesser problems than I do..."
"True."
As the twin blondes hugged the doors to the meeting were busted open and there stood... A boy.
After the doors were busted the nations and the intruder held a stare down mainly of shock and fear because... THE BOY WAS AN EXACT CARBON COPY OF AMERICA! Down to the Nantucket ahoge only his hair was ash blond and his eyes were a shade of turquoise. He looked to be a bout America's age maybe eighteen and wore a blue T-shirt and green jeans plus black converses. America hung his head as the boy strode over to him.
"Dad, I know ya gonna be pissed but I gotta talk to you. Like NOW." America finally looked to boy and sighed in frustration...
"What is it, Delaware?"
"Yo house is trashed, six pieces of art are destroyed same for a few of yo Indy five hunid stock racers, seventeen windows are shattered and a few TVs, Penny blew up the shed again plus Nevada taped up New Mexico for A51 -" America put a hand up indicating him to stop.
"Just~ stop... What about the thirteen?"
"South C. tryna secede again because Texas won't let her get the keys to the armory, New York was on the verge of strangling Illinois over baseball and the others are tryna stop the chaos before there's any bloodshed. Btw, I brought the little ones with me. And ew, Britain." Britain opened his mouth to speak but caught himself while Canada then hung his head- his brother's kids were insane, the other nations just watched the exchange with WTF faces as the boy spun his tale to his "father".
"Get my babies..." Groaned America. At that Delaware left the room for a quick second and came back with three young children: two babies and a little girl of about six. Mouths dropped as the stunned nations looked to the baby on the left because... PURE RUSSIA LOOKALIKE! Platinum hair, big nose only difference periwinkle eyes. While the other one looked like America only honey eyes and auburn hair.
"Daddy!" Squealed the six year old with dark tan skin and long hair tied into pigtails a hibiscus flower securing both, her yellow sundress billowing in her wake as she ran to America and hugged his legs. He picked her up and adjusted her onto his hip.
"Hey, princess. What's shaken?"
"Ewryboby bein bad, daddy." The girl said at that she puffed out her cheeks and lips in a pout and crossed her arms. The girl looked to Canada and smiled. "Uncle Mattie!" She wiggled out her dad's arms and into the Canadian's for a hug.
"Delaware can I have my babies please?" Said boy gave America his youngest children. The nations gaped a few more moments before Britain recovered first.
"W-who are these kids?" But before he could get an answer.
"YO PAPA!"
Everyone looked to the door only to find a girl only... SHE LOOKED LKE A FEMALE VERSION OF CANADA! She even sported a curly ahoge from her bangs only difference was longer hair and indigo eyes, her plaid dress stopping at the knees, her schoolgirl look was complete with converse boots. France eyed her like a meat- pervert alert! He sped over to her so fast you would've thought he was Italian!
"Ohhonhonhon! And who might you be, mon cher?"
"HIT THE DECK!" She screamed and pushed herself and France onto the floor as two silver objects flew past their heads... A bullet and a pocket knife. Everyone looked to the front of the room only to see a horrific sight... The New World Twins emitting evil auras while throwing France glares that read murderous- yandere intent.
"France if you so much as lay a finger on my daughters/nieces I will take that as a declaration of war..." Canada and America seethed together, the other nations knew the threat applied to them as well and took a few steps back- or in Italy's case cower behind Germany. The girl meanwhile had dusted herself off and made her way over to Canada, a look of fear on her face.
"Papa, I'm so sorry..."
"Sorry for what, Quebec?" The Canadian asked.
"Your house is destroyed, Washington and Manitoba are fighting over who has the better coffee, the others of the J-4 are arguing over who has the better hockey team, Prince tried to go rafting only to get stuck in his canoe, Mani and the others dared each other to lick stupid frozen things only to get their tongues stuck and Nunavut is with me while Newfoundland has Yukon. Sorry, eh? Oh, hey uncle Alfred."
"Sup, Becky." Canada froze on spot and his eye twitched...
The nations waited for the horror stricken father's reaction and sure enough... It came.
"What. The. Fuck?" The passive Canadian seethed.
"That's what I said. I'll go get Nunavut..." Quebec ran out and brought a baby with crystal blue eyes and copper hair wearing a coat with fur on the hood. She handed the baby to Canada.
"Je suis vraiment désolé, papa. I tried to sort things out but no one would listen to me." Canada sighed before patting her head. (I'm so very sorry, daddy)
"Il est correct, poupée ... moi et votre oncle sont dans le même bateau cette fois."
(It's okay, doll... me and your uncle are in the same boat this time.) After the "fathers" had calmed down considerably the nations decided to test the waters with some questions.
"Um..." China eased. "Who are these children, aru?"
"And why in the bloody seven leagues of hell do they keep calling you two wankers, DADDY?" England added. America and Canada exchanged looks before smiling softly then they turned to face the other nations. America sighed- it was time to come clean anyway.
"These are my children. The one on the left here is Washington D.C.- my Capitol plus my youngest- youngest baby while the one on my right here is- Alaska." Russia paled at the revelation, the land he sold to America was actually personified as this small child.
"Amerika... May I?" Russia outstretched his arms with a pleading look. America gave him a soft but sly smile and handed the child over.
"You hurt her, I break you..." America growled in warning after Russia took a few steps.
"I'm not an idiot, да." Russia took a seat next to Italy who cringed a bit but calmed when the baby started to giggle at him.
"The one hanging on the wall is my oldest, Delaware, one of the original thirteen colonies. Note , the originals hold grudges like no other."
"Please note, that comment is directed at you, ya limey tyrannical bushy brow hoe." England turned red at the statement while some of the nations coughed or oh'd at the kid. America promptly went over to the boy and smacked him in the back of the head, Canada snickered.
"Anyways... Hawaii, sweetheart." At America's call the little tan girl reappeared from under the table only the second she caught sight of Japan with his camera... She screamed...
"DAAAAAAAADDYYYYYYY! SAVE ME! JAPAN'S GONNA HURT MEEEEEEEE! NIGHTMARES!" The poor child broke down into tears and hid behind America's black pants leg, a look of pure fear upon her face. Japan was purely hurt by the fact the little girl was afraid of him, HIM of all nations. America sighed and picked up the crying child singing a soft Hawaiian lullaby in her ear.
"What did you do, mon ami?" France asked of Japan, who was still dumbstruck. Even Germany held a look of worry but then... It dawned on him, he then pulled Japan to the side. Germany gave his friend a cold yet compassionate look.
"Japan, I zhink I know vhy zhat child is afraid of you..."
"W-why?! I don't even know her! I love children!" Germany sighed, he hated to rehash old evil memories.
"Vorld Vor Two, Pacific Ocean, assault on America's top base in zhe islands. December." After a second or two, Japan had the most horrible epiphany ever. The man was known never to show emotion but, this time Japan allowed a single tear to work its way down his cheek as he hung his head in shame... Pearl Harbor, he had attacked a mere defenseless child. Plus if things weren't already bad enough, the island nation caught sight of something that caused him to freeze up in fear... A single faded scar shaped like a star rested upon the poor baby's left shoulder- pure evidence of his dishonorment.
"So when America-San went insane on me when he entered the war... IT WAS IN RETALIATION FOR THIS?! How could I attack something so pure and innocent?!"
The nations looked to Japan with pure horror and sympathy coming to even truer terms of why America hated some of the other nations with a passion and beat the living shit out them every time he caught sight of them- especially Iraq, Iran, and Syria. They had each launched horrendous attacks upon not only him being he was the embodiment of the USA but they had each launched an attack upon one of his children being they embody the "United States". Even Britain took a few steps back then dared a glance at the teenager upon the other side of the room, said teen flipped him off when he caught him staring- the Revolution. Of the two still distraught personifications, Japan recovered first... With a deep heart felt apology, bowing and all.
"HAWAII-CHAN! AMERICA-SAN! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I WOULDN'T HAVE ATTACKED IF I HAD KNOWN I WAS MAIMING A LITTLE GIRL! I FEEL SO TERRIBLE AND ASHAMED OF MY HEINOUS ACTIONS DURING THE WAR BUT THIS MAKES IT A HUNDRED TIMES WORSE! PLEASE, I BEG YOUR FORGIVENESS! I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, I HOPE YOU FIND IT IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS TO FORGIVE ME! I HAVE COMMITTED A GREAT DISHONOR AND I'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKEUP FOR THAT!" Everyone looked to the quivering Japanese man then to the little girl in America's arms who had wide eyes at the apology.
"Y-you're not bad anymore? You won't hurt me?" Hawaii asked with hesitance, fear evident in her voice.
"He's not gonna hurt ya, baby. He's not like that anymore. Japan's really sweet and nice now." America acclaimed.
"Gomen'nasai... Hawaii-chan." Japan stood up and looked to the little islander with pleading eyes. (I'm sorry...)
"Daddy, always says it's best to forgive and move on, so..." At that she reached her arms out in Japan's direction, everybody cheered... Japan was forgiven, he ran over and snatched the young child up in a hug.
"So America, if zhese are just a few of your kinder, how many are zhere?" Germany asked while observing Hawaii and Japan reconcile. (Children)
"Fifty-one in total while my brother here-"
"Thirteen in total, eh. So between the two of us that's sixty-four." Reactions galore: England fainted, China gaped, Russia had owl eyes, France grew a creeper face, Italy squealed, Japan had poker face while Germany...
"VHAT?!" Germany had a look of sheer shock or horror whichever floats your boat at the information.
"Our states and provinces, eh. They all have personifications."
"Let me get zhis ztraight... You two have sixty- four enfants, that act as your states and provinces? Oui?" (Children; yes?) the twins nodded.
"Oh! Speaking of, comment impoli de ma part, this one of my eldest and the most sensible; Quebec. While le petit on my hip here is Nunavut, my youngest." (How rude of me; the little one). Quebec gave a small wave yet hid a bit behind her father to escape France's gaze. England finally recovered from his fainting attack and stared at the twins with pure rage and horror.
"YOU GITS! HOW IN THE BLOODY HEL-HECK DO YOU HAVE SIXTY-FOUR CHILDREN?!"
The twins shrugged- in all honesty they barely had a clue. All they know is that people settled in different parts of their lands and hypothesized that their people's hopes, spirits and dreams were so strong plus different the kids just popped up like nations or in this case nations within nations.
"Ai-ya! So they're like mini-nations within nations?!" Deduced China.
"Yep, pretty much." Answered the twins as they cradled their kids.
"Ve~! Do you have any Italian kids?" Italy asked. "Do they like pasta?!" Canada thought it over while America answered.
"New York and New Jersey are practically Italian with all the pizzerias they have... While California and New York share Chinese traits."
"Yay! I'll make them pasta."
"Yeah, but right now we need to get home and do damage control before the cops show up. Or the fire department whichever comes first."
"De plus administrer whoopings de Ass- et commander de nouveaux meubles." Added Canada. (Plus administer ass- whoopings and order new furniture.)
"Hawaii, tell Mr. Japan goodbye." The little girl nodded and gave Japan one final hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"Aloha, Mr. Japan. See you later."
"I thought that meant hello..." Mused Britain.
"It does..." Answered Delaware as he retrieved Alaska from Russia. "And it also means goodbye, dipshit." Britain flared with anger but held his tongue being he figured threatening the boy would invoke the promise of America's wrath. Delaware left the conference room with a smug expression.
"Rendez-vous, nations plus tard." Quebec chimed then skipped away. (See you, nations later.)
"Addio, bella ragazza." Italy chimed back. "Ve~! This is so cool. Can I come over to your house and meet the kids some time? Si prega possiamo, amici?" (Please can we, friends?) The New World twins looked to each other then answered:
"We don't see why not?" At that America handed Alaska to Canada and Washington to Germany- who looked confused. America stole a blank piece of paper from China's area and wrote an address on it for somewhere in upstate New York then handed it to Germany who happily traded him the kid in return.
"Go to this address if you wanna meet the kids, a'ight?"
"Very gott." Germany replied as he examined the address.
"If I may." Britain started. "Which ones hold grudges against us?" America looked to his former caretaker and smirked- he was waiting on this.
"None of my kids hate you." Canada tried when he saw his brother's devious smirk.
"Yours don't but let me think... Massachusetts wants to burn you at the stake as quote "the warlock you are", South Carolina has shooting dummies that look like you and North follows her always, Virginia wants revenge for Yorktown, Delaware can't stand you same for the rest of the origin thirteen only their hatred is either "I just don't like you" or quote "That bushy browed SOB can burn in the deepest depth of hell and if I see him I'ma shoot him till he's dead. Russia you might wanna watch yourself around Illinois, she has a Cold War grudge for you trying to target her. France, Louisiana might feel some type of way but you might be okay. If you're gonna bring them, Spain and Mexico had better watch themselves around Florida and the Alamo States like Texas and Arizona but the others are okay with a majority of you. Plus Hawaii and Japan have reconciled." Everyone looked to Britain with dread for his well being.
"What makes it worse is all of your kids have been using guns since they learned how to walk and talk." Canada tacked on with a sigh. "Even Hawaii can use a shotgun better than me." The nations looked to America with shock at such a revelation!
"YOU BLOODY WANKER!"
"MON DIEU! HOW COULD YOU LET LE PETITS PLAY WITH SUCH THINGS?!" (My God!)
"Kolkolkolkol..."
"AI-YA! YOU HAVE SERIOUS MENTAL ISSUE!"
"VHAT ZHE HELL?!
"It's an expression... Dumbasses." America replied. "He means my elder children know how to use guns while the younger ones are training. I train them myself after all... And like I said, we need to get out of here before there's bloodshed. Canada." At that the two fathers took their leave.
"Bye y'all."
"Au revoir" (See you.)
*/* !HETALIA! *\\\\*
A week later
The nations stood outside a giant mansion (palace) with either gaping mouths or WTF expressions. On the mailbox it read "Jones Residence" in gold French script. France rung a doorbell on the front gate that played the Star-Spangled Banner till an intercom came on.
"What up dough?"
"Alfred?" Britain tried, he cringed at the abuse of his beloved English language.
"No, dis New York. Who you?" At that Italy shoved Britain out the way.
"Ve~! Cool! You're New York! Do you have pasta and pizza, amico?!" (Friend)
"Bruh... Dis NY you talkin too, I got Italian food for DAYS, homie." Before New York and Italy could have a full-on conversation over Italian food, Germany pulled the hyperactive pasta lover away while somebody inside got on New York.
"What the- Brooklyn get off da damn intercom!" A bit of scuffling was heard on the end before.
"Ahem. Jones residence, Dorothy speaking. How may I help you this fine day?"
"Um, hello, my name is Arthur Kirkland and these are my acquaintances. Is Alfred there?"
"Let me see... Kirkland, Kirkland, Kirkland? Yep, found ya. Can I do a roll call, please?"
"Yeah!" Chimed Italy. Germany promptly tried to smack him in the head but being used to it, Italy dodged.
"Okay! Mr. Kirkland, yes. Kiku Honda, Gilbert and Ludwig Beilschmidt, Feliciano Vargas- Axis powers."
"Ja, we are here."
"ZHE AWESOME ME IS ALWAYS PRESENT!"
"Good, good. Francis Bonnefoy, Wang Yao, Ivan Braginski- the other Allies."
"Oui, we are here mon cher."
"Nice. Affiliates- Lovino Vargas~ Oh! Texas and Florida is NOT gonna be happy wit dis. Um, Antonio F. Carriedo and Juan Carlos F. Carriedo."
"Si, we are here." Spain chirped. At that the gate opened and the groups made their way inside but only they were confused. From the way Canada and America talked of their children a week back, they were expecting destruction and chaos but instead they got a lush green yard with a few things here and there and a dazzling mansion.
"Zhis is no house." Germany muttered.
"I agree, it's a bloody palace..." Replied Britain. The nations made it to the front porch and gaped in awe at the gorgeous plants and the delicate porch swings, who knew America had a green thumb. As they got to the door, Italy rang another doorbell and at that a boy of about twelve with light brown skin and short black hair came to the door. The only true way you could tell he was America's was his sea foam green eyes and blue glasses.
"Sup?" The boy greeted. "Y'all nem nation homies, right?" England could've cried at the boy's horrid misuse of his darling language but didn't want to start off wrong this early in the game.
"Um, ja." Germany confirmed sensing Britain's inner turmoil, he took charge. "I'm Germany." He stuck his hand out for a handshake.
"Ah, yo what's good, fam?" The boy took his hand and shook it firmly. "I'm Atlanta as in Atlanta, Georgia but if y'all wanna call me Jalen I'm fine wit dat. Dad assigned me to be yo tour guide fo daday so pleae come inside." The boy lead them into a massive living room slash den where they found... AMERICA AND CANADA DOING LITTLE GIRLS HAIR! Reactions: The BTT bust out laughing, Germany and team suppressed snickers, Britain held back giggles along with China and Mexico. Georgia sighed.
"Dis ain't da manliest thang in na world but somethimes it gotta be done." He whined.
"Oh mein Gott! Zhe awesome America doing little girls hair! Zhis is going to Denmark!" At that Prussia pulled out his phone and attempted to get a picture only... A KNIFE SPEARED THE PHONE INTO A WALL! The nations shrunk back in fear of their unknown assailant- Italy jumped into Germany's awaiting arms.
"Sup, Sioux."
"Hey, Jalen." Everybody followed the voice only to spot a tan girl of fourteen with black long hair with a Taiwan-like ahoge and lapis eyes, wearing a purple short sleeve shirt and jeans on the second floor leaning over the railing glaring at Prussia.
"As y'all can see, dat's my sistah Nakota, North Dakota but we call her Sioux. And don't ever insult daddy round ha as y'all fine folk can see." He directed his hand to Prussia's decimated phone speared into the wall.
"Note, I will pay for that." Chimed America from his spot on the large couch, a little girl of maybe eleven with light tan skin sat between his legs wearing a sleeveless beaded shirt and shorts her curly brown hair being delicately braided into a double crown by America's expert fingers. Canada sat beside him doing the same only this girl was dark skin maybe of seventeen she had cobalt eyes and ebony hair while wearing a red oversized sweater and white shorts.
"Hey guys." America grunted with a rubber band in his mouth.
"Bonjour, fellas." Chimed Canada.
"Dat's my sister, Remy aka Louisiana an na girl beside her is ma cousin, British Columbia also Monica but we call ha BC."
"Keep it up, Jalen, you doin good." America commented. "All done."
"Merci, papa." Remy chimed then skipped off to play but then she noticed France and went to him, her face full of cute yet disturbing Russia-like innocence...
"Donc, vous êtes monsieur France ..." She started. "Vous me vendu, mais ça va. Je suis heureuse ici que je ne l'aurais été avec vous. Papa l'Amérique est plus frais que vous aurez jamais être pour lui, je vais vous donner cet avertissement... Mon vaudou est pas pas une blague tellement dormir avec un œil ouvert si vous pouvez même dormir du tout." (So you're monsieur France... You sold me but that's okay. I'm happier here than I ever would have been with you. Daddy America is cooler than you will ever be so for him I'll issue you this warning...My voodoo ain't no joke so sleep with an eye open if you can even sleep at all.) France shivered as the child flounced away.
"Well damn... Remy ain't been like dat since da Civil War. "
"Jalen don't bring that up." America ordered while picking up stray hair products.
"Oop, sorry daddy. Anyways, da four playin v-games ova dere is ma northwest and east coast fam, Washington- Rebecca, Oregon- Dillion, Wyoming- Mckenzie, Arkansas- Beverly." The four kids gave waves to the group then went back to playing their game.
At that the nations explored the room a bit, especially the pictures that lined the walls of all the children who they would meet soon. Jalen then motioned for them to regroup and escorted them down a hallway to their right, they were midway down the hallway when.
"Oh, snap! How I'm givin y'all a tour an I don't even know y'all?!" Jalen groaned.
"Oh dear, our mistake lad." Chimed Britain. "We were too awestruck to remember our manners. I'm Arthur Kirkland, my nation name is Britain." Jalen paled at this but then... BRITAIN WAS ON THE FLOOR FROM THE SWIFTEST BREAKDANCE DROP KICK IN THE SOUTH! The nations either oh'd or snickered. Jalen did a jazzy spin and looked down at the former empire.
"That. Was for ma home girls, da Carolinas." Jalen elaborated. "Anyways who's next?"
"To get hurt?!" Cried Italy who was quivering behind a shocked Germany.
"Nah! To tell me dey name."
"Oh!" Perked the Italian. "In that case, I'm Feliciano Vargas aka Northern Italy," Italy then pulled Romano from his hiding place behind Spain. "And this is my big brother."
"Let go of me you, idiota! I can introduce my damn self!" Romano roared. "I'm Romano."
"Aka Southern Italy." finished Spain. "My sweet Lovino Vargas," as he grabbed said male into a bone-crushing hug. "By the way I'm Antonio F. Carriedo aka Spain and the tipo behind me is Juan Carlos F. Carriedo aka Mexico, my baby brother. " Jalen paled a bit and scratched the back of his head.
"No me llames estúpido." Whined Mexico. (Don't call me that stupid.)
"Cool... Um, Germany met'chu at da door."
"Kon'nichiwa, Jalen-San. I am Japan, I'm very honored to meet you." (Hello)
"Yo, what's good?" The southern state gave Japan a high five. "Yo video games be tight. E'rybody out'cher got a Pokemon game, mane." Japan blushed a bit while Britain cringed at the pure mishandling of the English language that flew out the kids mouth but knew he risked torment if he spoke against it.
"Privyet, I am Ivan Braginski but please call me Russia..." The giant man chimed. "You seem nice,you will bec-" (hello).
"RUSSIA, I SWEAR ON MY MOMMA, THE FOUNDING FATHERS AND MY HOODS IF YOU SO MUCH AS FINISH THAT DAMN SENTENCE THAT PIPE OF YOUR'S WILL BE IN YOUR ASS!" America screamed from the other room, Russia backed away from Jalen as a shiver went down his spine at the proclamation, Jalen whistled in sheer embarrassment at his father's rage.
"O-Kay." Tried China. "I'm Wang Yao but you can call me China."
"A'ight, a'ight. You smell like fortune cookies, no offense dough."
"I'm used to it."
"Bonjour, mon ami. I'm Francis Bonnefoy but you can just call me France." Jalen moved back a bit when France grew a creeper face. "Zay, Jalen... How would you lik-"
"FRANCE! IF YOU WANT THOSE FUCKING VITAL REGIONS OF YOUR'S TO STAY IN ONE PIECE, YOU'LL LEAVE MY KIDS ALONE FOR THE REMAINDER OF YOUR STAY!" France cringed at the idea and backed off immediately, America wasn't known for his status and power alone.
"Y-your father is s-scary." Whined the Italy brothers as they hid behind their respective captains.
"Heard that!" Replied America from the living room.
"Yo, my dad don't play when it come na us, word of advice don't do anythin to make anybody cry, scream or yell for help or dhere'll be hell to pay. Got it?"
"Got it!" Agreed the silently scared nations and at that they continued with introductions.
"YO! I AM ZHE AWESOME GILBERT AKA ZHE MEGA AWESOME PRUSSIA!" Everybody groaned while Jalen contemplated something.
"Yo! You dat ex-nation dat helped dad!"
"Vhat zhe hell is he talking about" Germany muttered.
"Yo, Penny gonna love you, dawg." And with that they continued on the tour.
Jalen took them to everywhere: the laboratory, the other living room, where'd they be staying, the backyard which was immensely large and home to a mini lake and farm, the library which in itself was grand- some of them even changed their perceptions of America. Plus they found a couple of states; Idaho, Montana, Kansas, and Utah and a majority of Canada's provinces; Ontario- Christine, Quebec- Becky, Nova Scotia- Isabel, Saskatchewan- Cory, Alberta- Tori and Newfoundland- Jenna. The game room which looked more like a video game museum being it had games from the eighties plus it was on the eastern side of the house and found an illicit poker game in progress in the attic below, being won by a light tan boy with black slick back hair wearing dark sunglasses. He wore a black and red suit like a villain.
"Sup, Nevvy."
"Hey, J care to play?" At that the boy made his cards float, scaring the Italies shitless.
"Nah, mane! I ain't messin wit'chu on nat. Lost ma 'llowance to ya last time." Jalen defended. "But I got some peoples you might wanna meet. Nations meet Nevada but you can him call him, Nevvy or Cass. Nevvy, nations," Nevada sighed then took off his glasses only to reveal blood orange eyes. "DON'T LOOK HIM IN NA EYE!"
"Vhy? Zhe awesome me does vhat zhe awesome me vants!" Prussia then looked to the boy only to fall into a huge trance and took a seat at the table. "West, give me money."
"VHAT ZHE HELL?!" Germany yelled, Jalen sighed and patted his arm.
"It's too late, mane. He caught in Nevada spell like a moth to flame just hand him some cash an hope Cass don't ruin ya."
"Spell?" Quizzed England. "As in magic? As in some of you kids can DO magic?"
"Yep, Nevvy here, Remy and her voodoo, California and her movie magic plus Massachusetts- especially Massy plus dad but he be refusin na do it." The Italies shivered in fear while Britain allowed himself a small smile, this could be fun. "Yo, Nevvy befo you get a chance to ruin ol'boi right dere can we have him back, I wanna show him to Penny later."
"Fine." Nevada sighed then he mumbled a few words then Prussia was released from the spell.
"Vhat just happen to zhe awesome me?"
"You vere spared from making a complete dummkoph of yourself." Germany Answered. "You had better danke, Jalen here."
"Com'on y'all." The nations then left Nevada and his spellbound victims.
The next place Jalen took the nations was the shooting range/ armory where they found several children, all ranging from twelve to sixteen. The most active shooter was a boy who looked older than the reset probably eighteen. He looked like America from down to the Nantucket only his hair was golden blond plus his eyes were a pure ice violet, he wore a black dress shirt with pale blue jeans plus brown boots with spurs- cowboy.
"Yo, Austin!" Jalen called. "Dat's my bruh Texas but we call him Austin cause dat's his Capitol." Mexico who had been barely paying attention stirred at the call and spotted the boy and smirked... He immediately ran to the boy and scooped him up into a hug! The other nations looked at Mexico like he was insane watching the boy struggle in his arms.
"How do you know this child, aru?" Asked China.
"Because he used to belong to me." Answered Mexico.
"Oh shit." Jalen quietly swore as he face palmed.
"WHAT IN TARNATION?!" Yelled Texas. "If this is, who I think it is! YOU BOUT TO GET SHOT!" Mexico immediately released the boy but he pulled away too slowly for the boy's liking... MEXICO GOT SUPLEXED AND HOG TIED!
"MON DIEU! MEXICO!"
"Do all zhese kids have powers?!" Prussia asked. "If so zhat's AWESOME!"
"SHUT UP, YA BLOODY WANKER!"
"You got five seconds to explain why you here, ya damn border hopping vermin..." Texas seethed as he pointed two twin silver revolvers at Mexico's ass.
"Aww, you're still pissed about the Alamo?" Mexico whined at that everyone heard another gun cock only it wasn't Texas... Spain had his arms raised with a look of fear on his face, Romano was snickering.
"Hola España ... Cuánto tiempo sin verte." (Hello Spain... Long time no see.)
This was a pure standoff... Two of the world's nations were being held hostage at gunpoint by mere teenagers- considering who their father was.
"Dad said do intros, so..." Jalen sighed. "A'ight cha'll de crazy guh who holding Spain at gunpoint is my sistah Florida but we call ha Flo or Trina."
"DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE TIME TO DO BLOODY INTRODUCTIONS?!"
"What? Dad's orders! And don't start Black Sheep, I already don drop kicked ya once!" Britain cringed at the last bit and held his tongue. The nations looked to the girl only to avert their eyes except France. The girl was tan with dark brown hair, the only thing she wore was a yellow skimpy short dress with pink high heels, her "assets" shown for all to see. She was holding a shotgun to the Spanish nation's back.
"Hola, Florida sigue cabreado veo ..." Spain chimed with fear. (Hello, Florida still pissed I see...)
"Bet your culo I am..." Florida hissed. (Ass). "You gave me a lot of hell while I was under you. So now I'ma return the favor... MOVE!" At that Spain was led to the other end of the shooting range, it looked as if Florida was truly going to kill the Spaniard till.
"FLORIDA! TEXAS!" The two trigger happy states immediately lowered their weapons at the sound of their father's authoritative voice. They stood at attention as they saw their parent approach.
"Mierda/ Fanculo..." (Fuck). The two states swore quietly-along with Romano. America came over and confiscated the revolvers and shotgun while glaring at his kids.
"I know you two hold deep rooted grudges against those two but right now they are guests and I will not have you chasing them up and down my damn halls trying to murder them! NOW APOLOGIZE."
"But-"
"DO IT..." The American nation hissed out and the kids shrank back in fear plus a few nations. Texas untied Mexico then he and Florida turned to the two Spanish speaking nations.
"We're very sorry, we attempted to exact our revenge... Vermin/puta." (Whore)
"Now go help set up the grill, we're having dinner outside." The two teens ran off before their father changed his mind about showing mercy. After the teens were out of sight, America turned to his fellow nations and... YOKED MEXICO UP BY HIS COLLAR!
"The next fucking time, you try to kidnap my got damn son, I'ma see to it you get blasted to smithereens..." At that the enraged parent dropped Mexico to the floor and walked off, but not before. "Jalen, go in the kitchen and help with dinner prep take the nations with you." The Italies who had hid behind their captains when they caught sight of the fury in America's eyes, dared a peak at his retreating form.
"Damn, he's scary when pissed." Cried Romano.
"I knew Mr. America was strong but he's like the Hulk when mad angry" added Italy.
"But still... You got to give the crazy wanker credit." Mused Britain. "He protects you kids with the wrath of a typhoon."
"Duh, da man is our daddy an he don't play when it come to our well being." Jalen replied. "Da man get insane when it come na us, same goes fo my Unc and his kids. Those two will slaughter y'all if y'all so much as make us cry! So like I said earlier don't go round like you own na place an make beef-"
"Rindfleisch?" Germany quizzed. (Beef).
"Problems." Everyone answered.
"Even I knew that, aru." China complained.
"So we good, fam?" Everybody nodded as they got a clear picture of America and Canada's parental type: chill and fun yet strict with high morals.
After everyone soothed and calmed down the horror- stricken Italies, the group made their way to the kitchen where they found several states making lunch. The kitchen itself was impressive; three ovens with dual capacity, a large island counter with various ingredients strewn about plus two giant sinks to allow max amount of dishes plus a giant fridge/ freezer.
"Have a seat at da table while y'all wait." The nations sat down and took in the beauty of the dining room; three massive chandeliers hung overhead while the table was lined with five candles it looked to hold nearly a hundred people- fair game if you're in the Jones and William's family. They observed Jalen while he helped out by making tea.
"Are you~ really squeezing peaches into the tea?" Asked a concerned England.
"Fo'sho. Daddy taught me how duh do it like dis." That explained it, the Brit hung his head. "You want som'?" Everyone looked hesitant except China and the Italies.
"I'll take some, aru." China chimed. "The country of exotics anyway." Jalen poured China a glass along with the Italies, the result...
"Chigi~! What is the recipe to this dammit?!"
"Ve~! This is nice and sweet..."
"AI-YA! This is amazing! The hidden ginger fuses perfectly the peach, Japan try this." Japan took the glass and took a sip, his eyes lite up in delight.
"So mon ami what iz on zhe menu?" France asked.
"Oh! Speaking of..." Jalen and several girls filed out of the kitchen. "Meet da Southeast corna of the USA. Y'all know me an my sistahs Trina and Remy already but we got North and South Carolina right chere, say hey y'all." At his command two pale girls of about thirteen with red curly hair and freckles to match stepped forward and curtsied both wearing polo shirts and white skirts only difference one shirt was indigo while the other was custard.
"I'm North Carolina but call me Coraline." Chimed the girl in custard.
"I'm South Carolina but call me Caroline." Chimed the girl in indigo. "Which one of y'all nice folk is Britain?" France instantly betrayed the asked for nation and pointed at him-snitch. The girls went up to the former empire and... SLAPPED HIM! One slap for each state. South Carolina slapped him first.
"That was for the Townsend Acts." She elaborated sweetly. North Carolina then slapped him.
"That was for the Stamp Acts." She elaborated sweetly like her twin and then.
"And you call yourself a gentleman?" The two girls flounced back into the kitchen to check the food. England's pride couldn't have been more crushed, his stature mocked and cheeks stained red.
"Damn..." Snickered Romano but he stopped when Italy slapped his shoulder.
"Whoowee, Britain. You in fo hell dis week..."
"I'll assume zhose were two of zhe original thirteen like you, Jalen." Prussia laughed out. "Zhey've grown." The other nations then threw the Prussian a look of shock and horror.
"Vhat a minute?! You knew about zhem?!" Germany asked enraged with his elder sibling.
"Oh, y'all don't know. He helped win na Revolution, he was our general." Jalen elaborated. Everyone gave Prussia a dark glare while the ex-nation laughed his ass off, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"Oh! I knew zhat little shrimp vas going to be somebody one day." Prussia reminisced. "Every other day I caught him using his bayonet to roast marshmallows!" The Prussian was dying while everyone else just stared at his hysterical form. "Get on vith zhe intros before I die of laughter."
"Damn dat nig tore back... Anyways dis my sistah Kentucky but we call ha Franky." At that a girl of about seventeen with long strawberry blond hair and bright blue eyes came forward, she wore a blue bikini top which France eyed darkly and daisy duke shorts plus cowgirl boots and a black cowboy hat.
"Howdy, y'all." She said happily. "I'm Kentucky but like lil Jalen nere said y'all fine folks can call me Franky. Now if y'all's will excuse me I had better check on my Fried chicken." At that she skipped off, France licked his lips when he caught sight of her behind.
"Next, Tennessee. She'll go by Iris or Annabel or Bell." A girl similar to Kentucky came forward only she was maybe sixteen, her eyes lime green and had on full jeans but sported a green tube top and white cowgirl hat with black boots with short red hair, plenty of freckles.
"How y'all folks doin today, I'm Tennessee like J said y'all can call me Iris or Bell... Cause I'm a southern bell..." With that she cat walked away, France nearly lost it but then remembered America's threat and chilled out. The BTT were in inner turmoil, beautiful girls everywhere but risk the wrath of said girl's parents.
"Next is Virginia and his little sistah West Virginia. Westly and Ginger." A boy of about thirteen with emerald eyes and a girl of about eleven with jade eyes stepped forward, the boy sported brown hair with a small cowlick while the girl had her brown hair in a ponytail. He wore a brown vest over a blue dress shirt with brown shorts while the girl sported a pink sundress.
"I'm Westly aka Virginia and this is my little sister, Ginger aka West Virginia. I hope your stay here is enjoyable. We're rambunctious yes, but we have good heart. Good day gentlemen. Oh! And Britain, you suck entirely." The gathered nations giggled as the boy and his sister went back to the kitchen.
"WHY DO ALL YOU CHILDREN BLOODY HATE ME?!" The Brit screamed and to that he got varied answers.
"You stole my rice, son."
"Townsend Acts."
"Stamp Acts."
"Yorktown... Tyrant." The British man hung his head in shame at the answers, was the Revolution really that bad?
"Anyways, dhese beautiful dark skin guhs right chere be my sistahs Alabama and Mississippi. Jazzymae and Harriet." The two girls stepped forward and bowed. One who looked about eighteen and had violet eyes and long ebony hair wore a African style sundress with some type of headress.
"Hey peoples, I'm Mississippi but like Jalen said call me Harriet or I'll take Auntie Magnolia whichever ones y'all like. Now I's had better get back to dis kitchen before my catfish burn." The nations threw her a look as she flounced away, catfish? At that the second girl came forward, her long black hair was done in braids that curved like snakes And tied into a bun, her skin was a bit lighter than Harriet's plus she had dark green eyes signifying her as America's own. She wore a pink tube top that said baby on it and white daisy dukes... France nearly fell out his chair.
"How y'all peoples doin na day like Jalen, I'm Jazzymae aka Alabama. I'll take Jazzy or Mae. Now if y'all's will excuse me, I need to get to dhese collar'd greens." France was silently hyperventilating in his seat, so many beautiful women but a psychotic soldier was their father- the unfairness. The nations look to one another with a bit of confusion before Jalen spoke again.
"And dat fellas was the southeast corna of da USA. Any questions?"
"Yes." Chimed Romano. "Me and my brother are down a few damned hairstylist for fashion week. Who in the crappola hell does the hair around here?"
"DADDY." All the southern states answered from the kitchen. Romano and Italy gaped to each as the answer was revealed. Reactions to the answer varied from France gaping like a fish to Prussia snickering in his seat.
"He do it all, baby." Added Alabama. "From nese braids in my head down to nem crazy hairstyles you be seein online."
"Anymo, questions?"
"Just one more, mon ami?" France started while the Peach State made more tea and peach cobbler.
"Wassup?" Britain was dying inside at the pure misuse and abuse of his language but knew his voicing in the issue could spark another war between him and the states.
"Are all of you, Amerique's children via your statehood or is there more to it?"
"Statehood and only statehood, son." Jalen answered. "Yet, we're~ connected like we felt we was his by more than just bein states an ish." Tennessee decided to voice herself.
"That man done took care of us since we was young'uns tryna to ride like the wind!"
"Yea, we wouldn't have a damn clue about what we is if it wasn't for him." Alabama started. "He washed us, fed us, protected us, kept a home over our heads. I'm is proud to call that man, MY DADDY." The nations looked stunned at this new information a majority of the time they thought America was an idiot but figured there was more to him they weren't expecting this.
"America is like this at home? Aru..."
"Why in the bloody hell does he act like a git in front of us but he's like this at home?"
"Maybe he doesn't trust us enough, mon Cher."
"Or maybe he feels if he shows his true colors we won't accept him and try to hurt him." Japan tried. "You known how many enemies he has."
"Zhe way he protects zhem is vith the ferocity of a demon." Germany mused. "No wundar he went crazy during zhe war along vith his bruder."
"I feel sorry for anyone who dares to even lay a hand on these niños." Spain mused. (Kids) "Not only do they know self defense and carry pistolas but they have him protecting them." (Guns) Mexico shrunk in his seat as the conversation went on it finally dawned on him he was never getting Texas back. The Italies had finally stop fearing the kids and had made their way to the kitchen. Italy leaned over Alabama's shoulder to get a look at what she making but couldn't tell what.
"Ve~! What are you making, bella?"
"Who me? I'm making collar'd greens and dumplins plus some black eyes peas." The smell of the food made the Italian's mouth water and when the Italies get hungry they start speaking Italian and it won't stop till their hunger is sated.
"Cool~! Ve~! Possiamo fare la pasta e la pizza accanto, per favore bella signora?" (Can we make pasta and pizza next, please pretty lady?) Alabama threw him a look of confusion as she tried to decipher what he said.
"Honey, I can't understand you." Alabama stated. "Speak English to me."
" Ho detto, "possiamo fare la pasta e la pizza accanto", abbastanza per favore?" The adorable Italian tried. (I said, can we make pasta and pizza next, pretty please?)
"Sono d'accordo, potrei usare una pizza mia dannata auto." Whined Romano as he rummaged through America's fridge. "A proposito, dove è il vino dannato in questo comune?" (I agree, I could use some pizza my damn self; By the way where's the damn wine in this joint?) At that it became a full- on mass of confusion as the southeastern states tried to decipher what the Italies wanted till three people showed up... Germany and two boys.
Germany sighed while the two boys listened to what the Italies were saying. One was dark skinned he was probably sixteen with light green eyes and had short black hair only he had a small stray hair sticking out from the back-ahoge. He wore a T-shirt that said BROADWAY on the back plus had on glasses with red jeans and black converses. While the boy that stood beside him had amber eyes and was dark tan only while his hair was in a thin fade style with a yellow stripe on the side. He wore a grey shirt with a mic on it and orange jeans. The boy with glasses spoke first, he pointed at Italy.
"He wanna know if y'all can make some Italian food, smart."
"Shut up, York!" Yelled Alabama. "Yet thank ya for translatin so yes we can make macaroni."
"Ve~! Yay!" The other boy spoke this time gesturing to Romano.
"And he wanna know where da alcohol at."
"Oh! I got it." Chimed Tennessee at that she went over to a low cabinet by Mississippi and pulled out some red wine for Romano. "Here ya go, sugarfoot. Apologies for not getting it earlier."
" Nessun problema, grazie bellezza." Romano chirped happily at finally receiving his alcohol. ( No worries, thank you beauty. )
"Oh snap! My b, fam!" Jalen exclaimed. "Yo dhese my older homies New York and New Jersey. Brooklyn and Shamad. Da half black and half Italian yet Brooklyn got a bit of Chinese in him. Brooklyn aka York na busiest person in na whole house while Jersey aka Shamad make de best Sausage sandwich dis side of da Atlantic. Same goes for Brooklyn and his Italian food." The Germanics and the Italies perked at the possible challenges to their respective crafts.
"Keine Sinn, mein Freund!" Laughed out Prussia from his place at the table. (None sense, my friend). "No offense, but zhe German sausage is a rare delicacy you can't just make and prepare anyvhere." New Jersey whipped his head to glare at the laughing Prussian, the evidence of anger flaring within his amber eyes. The nations took notice of this and worried for their oblivious friend.
"Bruh, bruh, bruh-bruh... I know he ain't just say I can't cook sausage. Bruh-bruh, fam, he don't want dis beef dough like-" New York patted his seething brother's shoulder as Jalen looked on with worry.
"Bruh, you know you just committed suicide right?" Jalen asked Prussia.
"Vhat?" Replied the Prussian. "Germanic food is a niche of mine."
"Yo, son! I don't know you think you is, fam but we finna take dis beef outside like-" New Jersey was heated. Prussia looked to the boy with confusion. "Bruh, I ain't, playin! Square up! Grab a apron and SQUARE UP!" New Jersey then threw a spare apron Prussia's way.
"Vhat in zhe hell is zhe awesome me supposed to do vith zhis?!"
"PUT IT ON AND SQUARE UP, FAM! We takin nis outside! Ah yo where dem sausages at?!"
"Fridge." Replied the other states within the kitchen. New Jersey rummaged through it till he pulled out two packs of prime cut premium German sausage, he tossed one to Prussia. The Germanic immediately stepped to the challenge and put on his black apron.
"YO DAD!" The heated teen yelled.
"YEAH?!" Answered America from outside- him and Canada had been setting up the grills.
"IS DA GRILLS OUT DERE?!"
"YEAH!" New Jersey then looked to Prussia who made his way outside, New Jersey followed only...
"YEET!" HE GAVE BRITAIN A CRISP SLAP TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD AND RAN OFF! Poor England, vengeance is a bitch.
Germany and the Italies helped with lunch preparations since they were hanging in the kitchen but some of the other nations wanted to contribute to the meal and get to know the states better so they came and helped out to. France reconciled with Remy then helped Tennessee work on sweets- Southern Moon Pies and Eclaires. Germany had finally given in to his inner pastry chef and was helping prep Sugar, Pecan, and Cherry Pie plus Pound and Rum Cake- the others were stunned to say the least. Kentucky was teaching Japan how to make Fried Chicken. The Italies were having a quiet yet fierce competition with New York over who could make the best Alfredo pasta, Italian pizza, and Tiramisu. As odd as it may sound even Russia had found something to help out with, Remy was having him taste her various Gumbos that were simmering on the stove. Even Spain and Florida reconciled and now they were making Enchiladas and Churros. China was locked in a ferocious Dumpling War with the Carolina Twins. The only one NOT allowed in the kitchen... Was Britain. After various protest from the nations the states in charge- Jalen, Mississippi, and the Virginias- he was barred from the kitchen. Especially after Germany told of what happened to Prussia on one occasion- he ate a scone and fainted. Soon lunch (dinner) was finished and the countries and the states carted the food outside followed by a miserable Britain.
Once outside they spotted a sight that would have them laughing for days... Prussia passed out on America's patio deck with a crooked smile and his clothes messed up. Even Germany let loose a few snickers. New Jersey leaned upon the railing near his grill.
"Now... Who got da best sausage DIS side of de Atlantic?"
"I, zhe Awesome Prussia hereby proclaim you, Shamad... AWESOME!" New Jersey pursed his lips in a smile.
"Dat'll work." Everybody laughed. The nations looked to the parent of the winning boy. America had changed clothes from his dress suit to all white, a pair of swim trunks plus a open white shirt which showcased his golden tanned six pack plus brown sandals. While his twin sat beside him same getup only khaki. They both had a bottle of Coke.
"Need some help, eh?" Chimed Canada.
"Yes, please." Chimed Tennessee. At that America and Canada set the picnic table up with food with the sound of speed. The nations took a seat. Spain spoke first...
"Today has been... Asombroso. I even made up with Florida." (Amazing)
"Nice." America replied. "What about you, Franny? Remy wanna slit ya throat or-"
"Non..." France sighed contentedly. "Nous avons fait comme bien. Food has a habit of bringing people together. Maintenant, nous voyons pourquoi vous l'aimez tellement." (We made up as well; Now we see why you love it so much).
"Bravo, papa." Canada said. "What about you, guys? Any old charges running around?"
"LET ME THINK YA WANKERS!" Screamed England as he stood up in fury. "I got drop kicked, smacked in the face and mocked, insulted, and to top it all off! THAT LITTLE DEVIANT PUNCHED ME IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD YELLING SOMETHING ABOUT YEAST!" He pointed at New Jersey with rage, America hung his head- a mix of amusement and disappointment upon his features.
"Was that really necessary, Shamad?"
"Daddy. Fort Lee and Crossin na Delaware was not a fun experience."
"I know that I was there." America took a swig of his Coke. "But still apologize." Shamad got off the railing and walked over to Britain scratching his head but when he reached the Brit he extended his hand.
"I'm sorry for knockin in the back of yo head, mane. We cool?" Britain sighed and a gentle smile graced his face.
"As you teenagers of this generation would put it... 'We good, fam'." At that New Jersey pulled the Brit into a thug hug.
"By the way, I didn't yell 'yeast'..." New Jersey elaborated. "I yelled... YEET!" Everyone laughed till it hurt.
"It would've been even better if that Flo girl had shot this idiota spagnolo..." Romano grumbled (Spanish idiot). "Oh well there's always tomorrow." While everyone was chilling and chatting about America's mansion a girl came over... JAWS DROPPED!
"Yo, Vater!" She roared. "I finished with zhe un-awesome pool cleaning, now what?"
The nations were in pure shock as they took her in appearance except Prussia who was chatting with Shamad over sausage recipes. America and Canada snickered as they drunk in everybody's reaction especially Germany's.
"N-nein. Nein. Zhis can not be..." The stark afraid German ranted. "I can barely deal vith one of HIM... Let alone a gender bent version... Wie kann das sein?" (How can this be?) The girl glanced over the nations with a superior air till her garnet eyes fell on Germany.
"Oy!" She screamed. "Get your perverted eyes of my AWESOME epic figure, you un-awesome trottel!" (Moron). Germany recovered and took a few steps back.
"Did someone just say AWESOME?" Asked Prussia... He saw her and she saw him. Pale white skin, garnet eyes, long snow white hair with an ahoge of about seventeen clad in nothing but a Prussian flag bikini. The two froze and stared upon one another, the excitement building in all its rawness... THEY SCREAMED!
"Oh mein Gott, sie sieht wie mich!" The shocked Prussian exclaimed. "Nur ehrfürchtig weiblichen und hot !" (Oh my god, she looks like me!; Only awesomely female and hot!
"OH MEIN GOTT ! The Awesome PREUSSEN ! DAS PREUSSEN ! IN MEINEM HINTERHOF EHRFÜRCHTIG ! Ihr awesomeness ist einzigartig ! Fan-Mädchen-ORGASMUS !" She said all this in one breath. (OH MY GOD! THE AWESOME PRUSSIA! THE GENERAL PRUSSIA! IN MY AWESOME BACKYARD! YOUR AWESOMENESS IS UNRIVALED! FAN GIRL ORGASM!) The nations looked on in confusion- minus her father- as she practically freaked out over Prussia and then... She tackled him to the floor.
"Vater können wir ihn halten ?!" She cried as she lifted her idol into the air startling everyone except America and Canada. (Father can we keep him?!) America went over to his excited child and extracted Prussia from her clutches and placed him on the patio railing like he was a giant kid.
"Es tut uns leid, aber keine Puppe." He replied back in perfect German -to Germany's and Prussia's astonishment. (Sorry doll but no). She hung her head in sadness but then became happy again as she gathered the Prussian in a bone crushing hug.
"AMERICA!" Prussia hollered. "Who is zhis AWESOME kind zhat has taken ZHE AWESOME me hostage!"(Child). At his words her grip lessened and she fan girl fainted.
"Er rief mich an awesome ..." She mumbled out. "Die große und schreckliche allgemeinen Preußen nannte mich awesome." (He called me awesome; The great and awesome general Prussia called me awesome.)
"YO! I been waitin on nis!" Jalen exclaimed happily. "THAT! Is my sistah Penny also known as Petra aka Pennsylvania ha'self!"
"The girl is crazy for You, dawg." New York interjected as he came onto the deck. "Dad, I let e'rybody know dinner gonna be a six."
"Thank you, NYC." Brooklyn then took a seat next to the Italies so they could talk of Italian related things. The nations then saw another girl come onto the deck and take a picture of Pennsylvania. The girl had bronze toned skin and dark brown hair plus blue eyes and she was wearing a white slitted one piece bathing suit and silver high heels.
"You like owe me a hundred bucks, Nevvy. Petra totes freaked over the guy." She spoke aloud while texting said message.
"Guys, meet Bianca but we call her Cali-"
"Let me guess, aru." Tried China. "California." America nodded then took a swig of his Coke. Said state went and sat by China.
Soon states and the remaining provinces came onto the deck and took their places at the dinner table. Hawaii sat by Japan, Petra was cuddling Prussia- Spain and France were jealous. Remy (Louisiana) sat by France with a doll that for some reason looked like him plus the southern states huddled around him and the Italies so they could compare cooking styles. While Russia cradled Alaska- with America's permission of course. Canada's kids all remained with him yet Britain was mixed in with them. After everyone was seated America stood to make a speech.
"I propose a toast... To family and friends. Today has been hectic, but hell when isn't it hectic round here?" This received a few giggles from the gathered. "I'm glad I revealed this to you guys, thanks for coming out here and kicking it with me, my bro and our crazy ass kids. I know some out y'all went through hell- Florida, Texas, Origins. But all in all, I'm thankful y'all came and kicked it with us and may this week go by with laughs and memories and stories to come so... LET'S EAT!" At that food was passed around like nobody's business. Plates became filled to the brim with pickings as platters made their ways around the table. Things were going well till... Two certain states showed up and they were NOT happy.
"OY! WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK IS THIS RUMOR FLOATING AROUND THAT THAT DAMN WITCH BRITAIN IS HERE?!" Yelled a boy of about eighteen.
"ALONG WITH THE OTHER FUCKING RUMOR THAT COMMIE BASTARD THAT TRIED TO NUKE ME IS HERE TO?!" Yelled the young girl beside him, she looked sixteen at best. Russia and England looked to each other with nervousness shivering in their seats while America hung his head in disappointment. His left eye twitched while he channeled the frustration fidgeting to his right leg, the states knew he was about to blow.
"Ellinora. Mason." He started. "Why don't you just sit down and eat?" In response.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU INTERNATIONALS IS THAT BITCH BRITAIN?!" Hollered the boy. His forest green eyes were filled with hatred and rage for the former empire, said empire shrunk in his seat. He wore a yellow T-shirt that read REBEL TILL I DIE. DONT TREAD ON ME plus blue jeans and black converse. The nations were in pure shock because... THE BOY WAS AN EXACT REPLICA OF BRITAIN RIGHT DOWN TO THE EYEBROWS. Only difference was the boy had dark brown hair and... A single crescent moon shaped scar rested upon his right eye, the Boston Massacre. England then made a bold and daring move... He spoke.
"H-hello there... Is it safe to assume your Massachusetts?" At the Brit's words the boys eyes filled with sheer rage as he recognized the accent so similar to his own
"Guys, you have already figured this but I'm gonna talk anyways..." America began while he rubbed his temples with his thumbs. "This is Mason aka Massachusetts. Iggy, this boy practically loathes you with every bone in his body so it was probably a bad move to start talkin..."
"WHICH ONE YOU PRICKS IS RUSSIA?!" Roared Ellinora as she stormed onto the patio, her nose was twitching as she... Sniffed him out? The second she was at least five feet from him. "You..." America groaned while China leaned over and whispered in his ear.
"I'll assume that she is Illinois correct, aru?" America nodded.
"Oh for the love of freaking maple..." Canada said. "Elli please just sit down and eat dinner." The girl wore a sleeveless pale green dress with black rocker boots. She had black hair that had been pixie cut while her midnight eyes seethed with fury as her target handed her baby sister (Alaska) to a nearby sibling... THE TWO STATES RAGED! AMERICA TACKLED MASSACHUSETTS WHILE CANADA HELD BACK AN ENRAGED ILLINOIS! AMERICA FOUGHT HIS REBELLIOUS SON WHEN THE BOY REVEALED A KNIFE FROM HIS PERSON! CANADA HAD EVEN MORE TROUBLE WITH THE PRAIRIE STATE AS SHE CLAWED AT THE AIR TRYING TO ATTACK RUSSIA! And then... An arrow.
An arrow flew out of nowhere thoroughly distracting the raging states via flying dangerously close to Massachusetts cheek and lodging into the patio doors frame. Illinois reluctantly gave up and broke down in Canada's arms while America drop kicked Massachusetts with the speed of sound bonus he caught the knife. Everyone stood and looked to the unknown assailant only to find a tan boy of about eighteen with fern green eyes with black hair, a male version of South Dakota. He wore a black T-shirt and grey jeans with black converses in his hands rested a black bow. America turned to the boy, panting hard.
"Thanks for the distraction, Lake."
"Nithawa, papa." Replied Lake. (Welcome, dad).
"Fuck you, Lake." Grumbled Massachusetts. "So close to revenge."
"Fuck, your revenge, Mason." Lake replied as he stepped up on the patio, he sat by North Dakota and she hugged him. Lake finally noticed the startled nations and introduced himself.
"Hau, nations." He started. "I'm Lakota but everyone calls me Lake. South Dakota."
Russia then stood and took the same move England did...
"Um... I do not know what I've done to расстройство you, Ms. Illinois but please I ask your прощение." (Upset; forgiveness).
"Don't play that shit you know what you did!" She cried back at him. Canada cradled her gently while America pulled Russia to the side.
"Russia..." America started while running a hand through his hair. "Remember the Cold War?"
"да, how could I forget such a ужасный time between us?" (Horrible). America sighed.
"Вы помните свой список целей?" (Do you remember your list of targets?) Realization dawned on Russia after America asked him the question in his native tongue... Illinois was afraid of him.
Russia went over to the distraught state- within a reasonable distance and made eye contact. The state struggled in her uncle's grasp trying claw the nation.
"Г-жа Ellinora, пожалуйста, прости меня за мои тяжкие действия во время холодной войны. Мне стыдно за то, как я действовал и вещей, которые я сделал в то время. Я хочу, чтобы получить вам прощение и вашу дружбу... Пожалуйста, примите мои извинения." (Ms. Ellinora, please forgive me for my heinous actions during the Cold War. I'm ashamed of the way I acted and of the things I did during that time. I wish to gain you forgiveness and your friendship...Please accept my apology.) Illinois looked to her father who nodded his head while restraining Massachusetts by stomping him.
"... Okay." She sobbed out. "It was time to move on anyway..." They hugged but after the hug was over...
"Цель чертовски ядерную бомбу на меня снова, и я надеру тебе задницу все пути назад в Сибирь." (Aim a fucking nuke at me again and I'll kick your ass all the way back to Siberia."
"Отметил, да." (Noted, yes).
Things calmed down from there as America soothed his chaotic children then everyone chilled out and continued eating dinner. Even Kumajiro was chilling eating honey cakes made by Germany. Canada's kids finally got into the swing of things and started introducing themselves becoming active to ease the still lingering tension.
"Salut tout le monde, I'm Quebec but everyone calls me Becky." Chimed the first girl. (Hi everybody). The nations nodded remembering her from the World Conference. Only now her hair was down and she was in a white sundress, glasses still I'm place. At that a boy stood up from beside her wearing wearing a Canadian flag sun shirt. He looked about nineteen and had brown eyes and bronze tanned skin, his hair resembling Netherlands a bit only brown. His muscles fierce.
"Sup, eh?" He chimed. "I'm Saskatchewan but everybody calls me Sass or Cory. You'll usually catch me near the pool...Obtenir mon bronzant ." (Getting my tan on). He flexed and all the girls started play-complaining or swooning. A girl of probably twenty stood up beside him in a green spaghetti strap shirt stood, she had black hair and tan skin only her eyes were a shade of lilac.
"Ignore him." She ordered. "I'm Ontario but just call me Christine." France was literally dying inside, Prussia was being cuddled by big- breasted fan-girl while Spain had first-class view of Tennessee's chest area. While he was frustrating over his dilemma another province stood up and introduced herself. She had beige hair that was done in an elegant braid that rested on her shoulder. She was twelve at best in a simple red dress and black glasses.
"Plaisir d'être parmi la famille à nouveau et de nouveaux amis." She acclaimed. " I'm Isabel, the personification of Nova Scotia." (Pleasure to be among family again and new friends). The girl beside her who looked eleven at best stood up. She had black hair braided into a bun and chocolate eyes, she wore a pink polo shirt and silver jeans.
"Province of Alberta aka Tori." She hastily sat back down and resumed eating.
"Alberta..." Canada said.
"What?" She whined back. "I'm tired, hungry and I wanna go home. It's too hot." Said uncle complained back.
"It's summer." Alberta glared at her uncle who shrugged and took a giant smug bite of his barbecue chicken. At that a woman of about twenty- one stood up holding two infants. She had plum eyes and light ashen blonde hair. She wore a brown short sleeve that exposed her mid drift and blue jeans.
"Hey peuples." The woman chimed. "I'm the Newfoundland, the eldest but you can just call me Jenna while le petit sur ma gauche here is Yukon aka Nova and the autre petit sur ma droite is Aura aka Nunavut." (Hey peoples; the little one on my left; other on my right) Italy went over to her.
"Can I hold a bambina, pretty please, can I?" He begged. (Baby girl). Newfoundland smiled and handed him Nunavut who giggled at his smile. "Ve~! Can babies eat pasta?"
"NO!" Everyone answered. Germany and Romano face palmed while the states nearby them giggled. On that note another province stood and explained herself. She was of maybe ten with ebony hair in a ponytail while her eyes were a mint, her dark skin giving off a small shine. She wore a orange v-neck sleeveless shirt with jeans.
"You peoples seen me earlier but I'm gonna introduce myself anyway... I'm British Columbia but like Jalen said earlier call me BC or Monica." At that she sat down and went back to playing with Yukon. As things progressed into a more jovial atmosphere four more provinces showed up.
"Wassup, papa. Hey famille." Greeted the lead boy. (Wassup, dad; hey family). He had short black hair with pecan eyes, his skin tan with a tribal tattoo. He then notices the nations and introduces himself. "Quoi de neuf, les nations? I'm MANITOBA aka JASON! The AWESOMEST guy around!" (What's up, nations). At those words, Prussia and Pennsylvania shot up, looks of rage on their faces.
"Do you realize who Scheiße you are talkin too, arschloch?!" Penny raged. "WE ARE IN ZHE PRESENCE OF ZHE MOST AWESOME PRUSSIA! Wie kannst du behaupten, mehr als ihm EHRFÜRCHTIG !" (Fuck, asshole; How dare you claim to be more awesome than him!) Prussia looked on with shock at his fan girl- when fan girls rage they rage hard.
"Oh maple..." Canada sighed. "Manny, pourquoi as-tu y aller?" (Why'd you go there?)
"Calm down, pop." Manitoba coaxed. "I was just teasin'." At that another boy came behind Manitoba and smacked him in the back of the head earning laughs from his American cousins. Said boy was about sixteen with dark reddish brown hair with azure eyes. He wore a purple shirt and jeans with blue toms.
"You're such a putain idiote, Manny..." The boy claimed. "You know how Penny feels about that Prusse guy and on top of that he's right there. Grossier bien?" (Fucking idiot, Prussia; Rude much). The boy claimed the seat by a still ticked Massachusetts then introduced himself.
"Hi- um, I'm uh- Prince Edward Island but just call me Edvard or Eddy." The last child of Canada's who was still hanging by the patio door finally waltzed over. She had a flowing blond hair and light tan skin with chartreuse eyes. She was wearing a magenta dress sundress with high heels.
"I'm Labrador but call me Megan." She chimed as she took her seat across from France- uh-oh, his restraint broke. He gently took her hand and lightly kissed it, the other nations gave him a look of pure worry and fear. Everyone accept France looked to the New World Twins only to find America's hand bloody from a shattered Coke bottle and Canada compiling knifes from the nearby silverware table...
France continued to flirt with Megan who could sense her father's wrath and was thoroughly creeped out herself but didn't want to be rude. Finally she sucked up what little rudeness she could muster.
"Ohhonhonhon... So magnifique, comme un papillon monarque douce." (Like a sweet monarch butterfly). At that comment, Labrador yanked her hand away.
"Pas être impoli, Monsieur France, mais vous êtes sur le point de faire tuer." She hissed with warning. (Not to be rude, Mister France, but you are about to get murdered). France finally looked up from Megan only to find several knives flying towards him he bounced back and fell out his seat while the knives lodged into... Germany's pound cake causing the inner juices of the cake to seep like blood. Everyone looked to the twins only to find them juggling knives with gleefully dark expressions.
"Ah yo! Somebody play some music!" Screamed New York. At that Jalen pulled out a iPhone home deck and blasted the first song that came on... VIC: Wobble. The twins calmed down and went into the backyard, their kids following suit. The nations looked on in confusion as the extensive family filed into the backyard in six straight lines of ten. America and Canada looked to the nations and motioned for them to join the dance with one last look of reluctance the nations joined the fray and then everyone partied till late. This week was gonna be nice.
**** THE END****
Epilogue- Next World Conference- AMERICA ( UNITED STATES OF AMERICA)
After the other nations leave and things return to normal, the next month at the World Conference. The New World Twins are walking down the halls talking of how things are going with their kids when.
"YO, AMERICANOS!" Romano called thus catching the twins attention. He had caught up to them along with Italy.
"Mister America, per favore we need your help!" Cried the younger italian.
"What's up, fellas. Eh." Canada asked.
"Our last fucking hairstylist backed out on us for something with that French bastardo had planned!" Italy latched onto the NW brothers' shoulders, sobbing.
"Per favore aiutateci! You're the only two we could think of that can do hair!" (Please help us). Italy sobbed into his bomber jacket like a pure five year old.
"And don't lie and say you can't!" Romano growled. "We talked to those bellas of yours and they told us how you've been during their capellis since they were bambinas." (Hair, baby girls)America and Canada looked to each other and smiled.
"Sure, we'll help you guys out. Heroes duty." America answered as he hugged Italy. Romano reluctantly yet thankful hugged Canada then they ran off.
They make it to the meeting room and... THEY GET SWARMED WITH CHICKS! Hungary, Ukraine, Belarus, Lichtenstein, Taiwan, Seychelles and Vietnam- plus Japan with a camera.
"Mr. America! Mr, Canada! " Ukraine started- boing. "Is true you have sixty-four children?"- boing. America got nervous as her~ "assets" bunched up in front of his face. Belarus gave him a deadly glare but it did little to vex him.
"Is it true one of them looks like big brother?!" She growled out.
"Yes and yes, eh." Canada chimed from behind his trapped brother.
"Who are you?" His bear Kumajiro asked.
"I'm Canada."
"Mr. Canada!" Hungary chimes. "How many little ones are there?!"
"Um-uh, five, eh." He answers with a gentle smile.
"Y-yeah." America added after Ukraine finally backed off. "Alaska is the youngest and the Russia- lookalike." Belarus nodded. Taiwan immediately glomped Canada.
"Can you bring the little ones with you, please?" She begged.
"Yes!" Agreed Hungary with an odd gleam in her eyes. "What are their names?"
"Yes! Tell us!" Whined Seychelles as she climbed America's back.
"Washington, Hawaii, Yukon, Alaska, and Nunavut." America answered as Belarus and Japan invaded his personal space.
"Is it possible to gain your permission to use the little ones in a photo shoot?" Japan asked with a small evil smirk as he held up a camera. Canada and America looked to another...
"On two conditions." They answered. "One, we supervise the photo shoot. Two, refreshments are provided."
"Done!" Squealed the female nations.
At that everyone went into the conference room only to find... DELAWARE WITH ALL THE BABIES AND EVERYONE GOING GAGA OVER THEM.
"Oh shit." Sighed the twins.