AN: Inspired by Iorhael's story "He, Too, Is Alexander" as well as my own recent moodiness. Hope you all enjoy!
"He too is Alexander."
Hephaestion stood on the balcony of what had been Darius' rooms, now Alexander's. And his by association, as well. He sighed deeply, raising the cup of watered wine to his lips and taking a slow sip. He had escaped as soon as he was able, upset by Alexander's clarification to Princess Stateira's mistake in seeing Hephaestion himself as Alexander, as king. "He too is Alexander."
Hephaestion scoffed, tossing the last swallow of wine over the edge of the balcony, watching with morbid fascination as it fell with increasing speed onto the golden streets below.
"There you are," the unexpected voice made him spin around where he stood, only to turn back around without a word once he saw that the intruder was the king himself, "I was looking for you. You left the harem so quickly I did not have the chance to follow you."
"Go away, Alexander."
The cutting edge to his command made Alexander falter, as Hephaestion could tell by his sudden silence and the way his foot dragged on the carpet, as if he was coming closer to him and was startled by the brisk words.
"Love?" Hephaestion could see the confused head tilt in his mind's eye without turning around; he knew Alexander so well.
"Why?" he ignored his lover, bending his head as his emotions nearly overcame him.
"Why what, Love? Whatever is causing you such grief?" Alexander finally crossed to Hephaestion, winding his arms around his love, his other half, from behind, pressing in close in an attempt at comfort.
"Why is it that when anyone looks at me, they see you? I am my own man, Xander. But the army sees me as "Alexander's confidant" and "Alexander's lover." I am never just "Hephaestion." And just now, Princess Stateira called me "Alexander!" I should be flattered, I know, but-" his speech was cut off as Alexander gently turned him to face him and looked him in the eye intently. Hephaestion had to look away after a while; being looked at in that way always made him feel exposed and raw. And it was only Alexander that could do it. Hephaestion fought the urge to roll his eyes to the skies. It was just his luck that he would fall in love with the only man who could get him to feel that way.
"The gods are laughing at my expense, I know it," he thought somewhat miserably.
"You are upset," Alexander realized aloud.
Hephaestion let out an undignified sound that was a cross between a snort and a huff, feeling as if he would begin to weep at any moment as the pressure and wetness of tears made themselves present in his sky-blue eyes. He put a fist to his mouth to quiet the urge, although it didn't help.
"I have my own name, I am my own person!" Hephaestion struggled to get the words out, his voice breaking as he did so, "And then you tell the princess "He too is Alexander," and I just could not be in that room any longer! Why, Alexander? Why did you not correct her as any other man would have and say "He is Hephaestion?" Why? I do not understand-"
Alexander deflated as he fully came to understand Hephaestion's inner turmoil, "Love..." This was all he could get out before his body took over and he closed the distance between them, kissing his love tenderly and with all the reassurance he can hope to give him. After a long moment, he pulled away, resting their foreheads together before speaking, "I did not correct her because she was correct. Ah, let me explain," when Hephaestion opened his mouth to protest, "You are my soul, Hephaestion. I could not do, I could not be who I am today if you were not a part of me. You make me whole, in ways I know and ways I do not. The gods put us together to make us whole, no matter if we realized it in the beginning or not. The only thing I regret about knowing you is that I did not know you from the moment I came into this world. I will never regret loving you and letting every person, every god know it. That is why I did not correct her. I love you too much to hide my love from anyone in this world."
"But I have my own mind, my own body, and when people use you to see who I am, I feel like those things do not matter. It hurts, Xander."
Alexander looked saddened by this admission, "I am so sorry, Love. You will always be "Hephaestion" to me, no matter what other people believe. I love you just as you are."
Hephaestion, now somewhat reassured, gave his king and soulmate a small smile, "I love you too. I am sorry I ran out like that. I did not mean to offend-"
Alexander put gentle fingers to his love's lips to quiet him, "There was no offense. She was worried for you, as was I," he slipped his hand into Hephaestion's, squeezing it lovingly, "Now come, everyone is waiting for us. They are waiting to meet the true Hephaestion."