AHSOKA STUBS HER TOE

"motherFUCKER!" ahsoka yelled.

from the other room came a muffled "snips! language!"

"sorry master," ahsoka said, voice noticeably higher than normal. her toe throbbed. "i'll be more careful next time!" under her breath, she muttered a few more curses before hobbling out of their chambers.

—

FRUSTRATING THING HAPPEN 2AHSOKA ON LIBRARY COMPUTER

"god i can't even fucking believe this" she muttered.

"ahsoka! what is with this language!?"

ahsoka whipped her head around at the sound of obi wan's voice from behind her. she saw not only him, but also her own master. "oh my god, masters! i didn't even know you here here, i'm so sorry!"

obi wan fixed her with a vaguely disappointed look. he had thought she was a good egg.

anakin spoke up. "yeah, snips. you know what master yoda says."

she groaned. "fear leads to anger, anger leads to swearing…"

"exactly. now, what were you so mad about that it made you swear?"

SHE SHOWS HIM THE PROBLEM

"holy shit girl what the fuck did you do to this thing?!" anakin said incredulously, "it runs like some shitty tech from the early space 2000s! bonzi buddy lookin motherfucker!"

obi wan was astonished at this turn of events. two deviled eggs in one day?

"surely the problem cannot be so severe as to—"

THEY SHOW HIM THE PROBLEM

"—what the hell did you do to this bastard?! you might as well try loading it through a graphing calculator! god damn!"

a/n: i gotta stop

—

MORTIS

anakin was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"save ahsoka! she's got so much to live for!" yelled obi wan from the clutches of the great beast. he looked at ahsoka pleadingly. he had faith in her. she was a good egg!

"fuck obi wan! save me instead, you BITCH!" cried she.

"well shit, i guess that settles it…" anakin muttered. with a mighty heave, he gathered the force near and pulled the two into his arms safely. he bounded from the platform and raced for the ship. his efforts were not completely in vain. he managed to get almost halfway there before he was overtaken by the father, the daughter, and the holy shitstain.

"you can't leave yet!" said the son man, "the whole point of coming here was to teach you a lesson!"

anakin snorted. "i'm good."

"no no!" the father pleaded. "we were going to show you how you turn into darth vader and 1000 degree knife all those younglings so you don't make any terrible mistakes in the future!"

"yeah, and then make you forget all about it!" the daughter chimed in.

obi wan's eyebrow came up. "then, what's the point of showing him in the first place?"

"yeah, what IS the point of showing him in the first place?!" ahsoka challenged.

"exactly! what's even the point of showing me?" queried anakin.

the brother scoffed. "we can't mess up the timeline any! honestly…"

"i think we're done here." anakin said, already taking off again, ahsoka and obi wan at his heels.

—

fight me mate, fucking fite me, mate,