Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is owned by Hiro Mashima!

Love At First Tinder

Chapter 1: Single Lady Erza

"She's not getting drunk for the hell of it. She's getting drunk to numb the hell of it." - Sean Bates

"I will give you a lap dance next, beautiful."

Erza Scarlet stared wide eyed at the drunk fool dry humping- or dancing, or so it is considered- on an extremely drunk Cana, who was most definitely going to regret this tomorrow with a terrible hangover. But then again, it is Cana, so she probably will laugh this off and repeat it next week, or tommorrow. Again, it's Cana, alcohol is her best friend, her life partner, her partner in crime, etc. You get the deal.

"I don't think so." She murdered as she looked away, taking a drink from her champagne glass as she stared wide eyed at the dance floor, a chill running down her back, and not in a good way, as he laughed and answered, "Sugar, that'll be my goal for tonight!"

Blinking her eyes, Erza swore she'd throw up on his shoes if she so dared turn back around to look at him. First of all, why the hell was he calling her sugar?! Excuse her as she gags! And second, there was a higher possibility that he was going to win the lottery tonight than dancing on her! She'd have him flying to the other side of this club if he even dared to touch her.

Taking a deep breath, Erza grabbed the wine bottle sitting on the middle of their table and refilled her empty glass. She really needed to get a little drunk tonight.

Staring at her laughing and dancing to the rhythm of the music blonde friend, Erza smiled. Lucy Heartfilia was getting married in a month to the idiotic Natsu Dragneel. Cana, of course, as the maid of honor, had organized Lucy's bachelorette party, and this is how she ended up here tonight.

She wasn't a huge fan of places such of these, if it wasn't obvious enough so far. After all, she was the only one still sitting down at their table, drinking the entire champagne all by herself. She was one drink away from yelling over the music at their waiter to get them another bottle of champagne.

Gagging as she stared at the persistent fool from before, Erza sweat dropped when he grabbed Cana by the waist and turned her so she was dry humping him, on his ass. If that wasn't the weirdest thing she had seen so far, she didn't know what was.

Sighing, Erza looked down at the table and decided to just drink this night away. There was just no way she was getting up. If she did, she was exposing herself to be touched by weird and obnoxious guys that would surely get her to spend the night in jail for beating the crap out of them just because they made the idiotic suggestion to get out of there and go to a motel instead.

So no, she was not getting up anytime soon. Cupping her cheek, she stared at the large screen hanging above the stage, where the DJ was mixing songs and bobbing his head to the beat of the music.

Entranced in watching the different music videos being played on screen, she didn't notice the presence of someone sitting next to her. That was, until he cleared his throat and had the nerve to take her glass away from her hand.

Looking at the idiot, who just had to be the same one from before, Erza took her glass back and gritted, "Haven't you heard that it is disrespectful to take things from people?"

He laughed and shook his head but Erza didn't find anything funny from their exchange. Nothing at all, actually. He was either too drunk or too stupid. But she was going to be nice and pretend he was just drunk.

"You really are something else." He told her, yelling a little too loud over the blasting music and making Erza scoot back, giving her a second reason to leave more space between them. Smirking at her, he then said, "Dance with me."

"No." The answer was automatic and he raised an eyebrow.

"Why not?" The smirk from before was completely gone now and Erza almost snorted as she realized she had just bruised his ego. The guy was good looking, there was no doubt about that. She wasn't blind, but she sure as hell wasn't stupid. He probably had never been turned down before. There was always a first for everyone and everything, after all.

This guy did not want anything serious with her, or with any other girl in this club, if at all. And she sure as hell was not a woman any man could use for just a night. She was not some condom he could use and then throw away. As crude as that may sound, it's the way she thinks. Or the first example that came to mind. Sue her.

Pointing at the couples dry humping around them, Erza answered, "I don't dance like that."

He blinked down at her and then bursted out laughing. Her hands tightened into fists and they would have landed in that pretty face of his if he hadn't stopped a second earlier and said between chuckles, "You really are something else." Scooting closer to her, he continued, "Kiss me."

He is drunk, remember Erza, drunk. Taking a deep breath as she kept chanting those words in her head, she shook her head and said, "I don't kiss guys I just met."

Nodding his head, the attractive guy that told her his name earlier that night but she didn't hear and just nodded as she pretended that she did, smiled as he told her, "I like that. I respect that."

She only nodded, again, because she was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he was really drunk. But she almost gave him a thumbs up and said she didn't care what he thought.

"Can I have your number?" he asked then and Erza sighed.

She nodded and his smiled widened as he handed her his phone. And as astonishing as it might sound, she actually gave him her real number. After all, he had persisted enough and hadn't made any advances that she'd deemed inappropriate. Also, she was single and she should stop being so picky and give guys a chance before she judged them and evaluated them from just one meeting, even if they were the weirdest of all the guys she'd met.

But she regretted it just as she typped her phone in, returned his phone, and got a text from him, which he then checked that she actually received. Yes, girls and boys, you should judge- at least a little bit- from the first meeting and trust that negative and judgmental little voice in the back of your head.

"I know you probably won't text me back after today…" He started and Erza boringly looked away and murmured, "Yeah, I probably won't."

And if she'd looked back at him she'd seen that ridiculous disappointed face of his and bursted out laughing. Yeah, she was being mean, a bitch even. But she was drunk, so she had that to blame. And also, she'd had a very crappy day and was now stuck in a place she didn't feel comfortable at all. Again, sue her.

"You're too honest." He sighed and Erza glanced at him before she returned to her glass of champagne. "And I like that."

She groaned, as loud as she could, not caring that he heard her. Yes, total bitch, she knows! But some guys just don't get it!

One day, some guy is going to do this to her, maybe. She believes in karma, of course. But if he ever dared to play with her feelings, she would not cry no, he would. From pain. Physical pain.

As she asked the waiter for another bottle of champagne and ignored the pretty boy sitting next to her, she barely heard him telling her that he was going to the restroom and maybe something else but she didn't catch that last thing. She shrugged it away.

A minute later, a drunk Cana was sitting next to her, laughing hysterically as she yelled over the music that this was the best night ever. A smiling Mira also joined them, saying that it was indeed a great night. Erza didn't agree with them at all. But her face told them everything. She only had to look at them for them to roll their eyes and mutter that she was a party pooper. Party pooper? Childish indeed. They were twenty- two. Who said party pooper? Not twenty- two year old women. At least, not mature twenty- two year old women.

Erza judgemental? Only when given a reason to be, of course. She was a saint otherwise!

A man then walked up to Mira, and he was flirting non stop, making Erza gag as he spoke the most overused and gag worthy pick up lines. "I think you're beautiful." He told Mira then and the white haired girl smiled kindly up at him, a look of pure innocence as she responded, "Yeah, you and all the men in this bar."

Yeah, Mira knew she was beautiful and she was not afraid to speak blatantly of her beauty. Conceded? Erza didn't know anyone else who that word could describe more perfectly.

Blinking his eyes down at the smiling Mira, he asked, "Really?" Shocked, that was the word that described this poor fool's face.

Mira nodded. "Yeah, I never joke."

Sitting down beside her, and taking her hands in his, he told her, "I think I'm in love with you."

Erza rolled her eyes while Mira broke out laughing and Cana choked on her drink as she yelled, "Oh God, please stop thinking boy! It's not doing you any good!"

And he walked away. None of them blamed him. Not at all.

They were this club's Mean Girls. And if told they'd be proud of it. Bitchy was their middle name. And they wouldn't hang out together if it were any other way.

The only sane ones from their group were Lucy and Levy. Who were now standing in front of them, sweat dropping as they watched them laugh like maniacs.

There laughs didn't die until the pretty boy- as Erza decided to name him- came back and asked, "Where's my phone?"

And there was an awkward silence that fell in their table, all girls looking at each other before they looked back at the guy that was looking straight at Erza. Taking her glass, Erza answered, "I have no idea." She didn't. Last time she saw it, he had it. His problem, not hers.

Number one rule when you got to a club: never let go of your phone.

"What?!" He looked hysterical and Cana had to cover her face with her drink before she bursted out laughing again. "I asked you to take care of my phone!"

Erza raised an eyebrow as she stared at him as he ran his hands through his hair and took a step back. "First, don't yell at me. And second, no you didn't."

"I did! When I told you I was going to the restroom I asked you to take care of my phone!" He was pulling on his hair in frustration and Mira and Levy both apparently felt bad for him as they left to get security.

Fixing her sash, the soon to be bride murdered, "Well, that's stupid. Who leaves their phone with a stranger?"

Cana finally broke out laughing and Lucy smirked as she grabbed the champagne bottle and filled her glass.

And madness ensued after. The security guards were soon surrounding their table and the idiot guy who left his phone was checking every person in their vicinity, patting down the pants of all the guys dancing in their near proximity.

What did Erza do while all of this happened? She finished their bottle of champagne and asked for another. She really needed it. And even more when the pretty boy had the brilliant idea to take off his shirt and show her his bicep, flexing as he told her about the tattoo he got there of his grandmother. Yes, she said grandmother. You best believe she was drinking the champagne right out of the bottle by now!

"I have to find that phone." He told her as he sat beside her. At this point, Erza was so drunk that all she could really care to do was nod away at his words. "I have pictures there I don't want anyone to see."

Raising an eyebrow, Erza stared at him for a minute before she frowned and then finally made a face of disgust as she connected the dots and understood just what kind of pictures he might have been speaking of. "Oh my God. Please tell me it isn't what I'm thinking."

And she finally bursted out laughing hysterically when he answered, "Of course not! I have some pictures of my grandfather, that's all!" Yeah, and Erza had a million dollars in her bank account! This situation was just too much to handle.

Lucy's bachelorette party had become quite the experience that Erza, unfortunately, would never be able to forget. Well, she didn't recall much of it the next morning, but Cana never would let her live it down, so that was that.

By the time they finally left, the guy was still looking for his phone, yelling and swearing to the security guards that his girl had seen their waiter take his phone. Erza literally looked around her to find this supposed girl of his. Because it sure as hell wasn't her!

Cana sneaked a bottle and told the waiter that one was on the half naked fool and that was that. Did Erza feel bad for him? Yes, the next morning when Cana told her. But that night, she grabbed another bottle of champagne and told the waiter that that too was on the naked fool with an old lady tattoo.

Oh, and Erza fell. Yeah, as embarrassing at that was, it happened. No big surprise there, though. She's a total cluts on high heels and well, she drinked all too many glasses of champagne, so many that she didn't remember the next morning the exact number.

And her friends, of course, didn't help her up. No, they only broke out laughing, Cana only barely standing up straight herself.

A stranger, a fucking stranger, was the one who helped her up. She can barely remember him asking her is she was okay. She didn't even feel the impact so nothing really hurt. She was extremely numb and her ears were ringing so she could barely hear his voice. All she remembers of him is his blue hair and the weird red tattoo on his face.

He was kind. And very good looking. And he smelled nice. He looked worried. Why? Erza didn't understand either. She was fine! Great even!

"You're handsome." She whispered as she stood up straight, his strong hands holding onto her shoulders so she wouldn't fall back down. Yes, she was drunk. Because there was no way sober Erza would ever, ever, be so forward!

What were her friends doing at this moment? Laughing so hard that Cana almost fell down herself, Lucy was covering her face, Levy was crying from all the laughing, and Mira was taking a fucking picture. Good friends? No. Great friends? Yes. These are the type of friends we all should surround ourselves with! Well, at least Erza thinks so. Because that's the kind of friend she was, and she deemed herself an extraordinary friend!

His brown eyes widened as they stared into hers for a minute before he broke out laughing and said, "You should take care. You can really bruise yourself if you fall down again."

And Mira thanked him and pulled the scarlet haired girl away from him. Staring back at him, Erza smiled and waved, yelling, "Don't stay there long! There's a weird half naked dude on the loose!" And he smirked, nodding at her words and waving back. She grinned back at him, giggling like an idiot as they walked out of the club.

A week later, Erza was laying on her bed, staring up at her ceiling as she remembered that crazy night. She could barely remember it. And she had forgotten all about her falling "on her ass" as Cana put it every time she retold this hilarious experience. Cana really didn't want Erza to ever forget that night, for everyday she sent her a picture of a drunk girl laying on the floor unconsciously with a caption reading, "Good morning, drunk klutz!"

But she wasn't groaning into her pillow about that night. No, not at all. Because she'd just gotten a text from a guy she'd met at school.

"What's wrong?" Mira, her childhood friend and roommate asked as she walked passed her room.

Turning in her bed, Erza mumbled, "It's just that guy I told you that I met… He just told me he ran out of cologne and he was going to the mall to get more if I wanted to join him."

She was reading the text word by word. This was no joke, believe her. She wished it was!

And there was total silence after that before Mira bursted out laughing, wrapping her hands around her stomach as she yelled that she was going to ruin her makeup from the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

Erza bursted out laughing when Mira then said, "I mean, what the hell, that guy needs a semester of Flirting 101! ASAP! That was so terrible!"

So when Mira called Cana to tell her about that terrible text, the three of them got together to make fun of Erza's terrible luck with men. Beginning with her stalker, Ichiga. Yes, he was the worst of them all! A chill ran down her neck just thinking about him. Just hearing his name made her want to run for the hills.

Erza may be good at a lot of things, but when it came to dating, she sucked. She was much aware of this sad reality. God, stupid Natsu was getting married in three weeks and she had yet dated someone for more than two months! That's how sad it was!

And though she told most people that she was single by choice, of course, and that she could be dating if she really wanted to, that was all bullshit that she babbled to make herself feel better. Because she did want a boyfriend, it was damn time after all! But she wasn't good at the whole dating thing. She was awkward, too straight forward, hard to handle, easily got pissed off, was old fashioned, was too demanding sometimes, and didn't put up with bullshit.

"You should make a Tinder!" Cana suddenly suggested as she chugged down her beer. Erza thought she was just joking so she ignored her. Mira, however, looked intrigued.

"You know, Bisca met her now boyfriend, Alzack, there. She said she met a bunch of weirdos but in the end it was all worth it when she matched with Alzack! I mean it's a rare chance that you'll actually find someone, but it's worth the try! If not just get it for fun." Mira winked at Erza and her mouth fell open in disbelief.

"You can't be serious." She rolled her eyes. "I am not gettting at Tinder."

"Well, you should. I mean, you gotta get laid some day. Twenty- two and still a virgin is just ridiculous!" Cana yelled into the rim of her beer and Erza turned a shade all too similar to her hair.

"I-I… T-that's not. I am not having sex with some guy I barely know! That's against my principles!" Erza stuttered in indignation.

"Yeah, and it's because of those principles that you're a twenty-two single virgin." Shrugging, Cana continued, "You're really missing out. It could really help with your pent up frustrations and it may just help with that uptight persona of yours."

A dark aura surrounded Erza as she gritted, "I am not uptight."

Snorting, Cana muttered, "And I don't like drinking."

Sighing, Mira grabbed Erza's phone while the two argued and once her mission was accomplished she handed it to Erza, a bright smile on her face as she announced, "There, all done! You have an account! Just swipe away!"

"What the hell Mira?! I am erasing it right now!"

But she didn't. No. She swiped left and right all night. It was quite addicting. But boy did she regret it once the messages started coming in!

Think she's exaggerating? The first message she ever got: "Wow you really are beautiful, and you look like a girl that would dare to have her nipples pierced."

What. The. Fucking. Hell?!

Yeah, cue the madness that is about to ensue.

Because Erza fucking Scarlet has a Tinder.

Author's Note:

Hello everyone! Like, hate it, loved it? Please leave a review and let me know!

I know Erza is totally OOC but that's what makes it the more hilarious! So hopefully you liked it!

Thanks for reading!

~ Blue ~