HI there! Maddybee here! I found this fabby website by accident and straight away I was addicted. So.. I just had to have a go at writing my own FF. it a tad bit long but thats ok right? Anywho here is my first chapter and I hope you like, if I get more that 5 reviews I will deffo be writing another chapter. Please Read and ENJOY. This chapter is called Lindsay Scarlotti, chav from Eastenders.

Maddybee, AKA geordie-gee.x

Chapter 1- Lindsay Scarlotti, chav from Eastenders.

10.30pm.

I didn't really know what to do after Massimo left on his vesper, I just stood there fashioning my infamous fish expression. Good, I bet that was attractive.

The Ace gang are looking completely shocked at the almost fisticuffs, they are comforting me as I have started to cry a bit, but after a while they have had to head home before their Old's got mad.

I have decided to leave for home too. Dave the Laugh hasn't left yet and I can hear him and someone else arguing. Ho-hum pigs bum, at least I know Massimo has gone and there isn't a chance of a proper fisticuffs at dawn.

10.45pm

Home, Bed of Pain.

Mutti and Vatti nearly had a heart attack when I came in, they even stopped snogging on the sofa for 2 minutes to interrogate me about my night. I just ignorez-voused them and retired to blub for a while.

Who do I want to go out with? I am so full of confusiosity I will never be able to slee- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

2.06am

Woke up from an in-the-nuddy-pants Libs snoring her head off, and to top it off I just had a spaz-attack when her cold botty touched my leg. I am sure she puts ice cubes in her nappy to get it extra cold on purpose.

Sunday September 18th 8.30am.

Woke up feeling fresh and happy, that is until I remembered my current situation with the Luuurrrrvvve god. I have decided it is the best option to get ready, makeup and all in case Dave the Laugh or Massimo decides to 'drop in' any time soon.

Feeling a bit of nervy-b coming on as I have just went to apply a couple dozen coats of mascara when I have realised I had ran out!

2 minutes later

Sneaking into Mutti and Vatti's room who are STILL asleep to look for some mascara.

Any way raiding through Mutti's make up bag, quiet as a mousey. DAMN Mutti only has mascara in stupid bizarre colours such as, Neon orange and Explosive Raspberry and no way am I going to use them to entice my one and only love, Dave- Uh why in Miss Wilson 's knitted socks did I say Dave I obviously meant Massimo. Didn't I? Oh well places to go, People to snog.

Oh well, Now I am here I may as well sneak about for some extra cash to buy a new mascara from Boots.

YES! YES! AND THRICE YES! Found £7.50, Just enough for a new mascara AND Lippy, possibly flavoured.

11.30pm

Walking down my street.

On my way to boots, Lalalalalala Its quite a nice day today not quite Burning Sunny but enough sun to get a subtle tan, Oh my giddy god I must be so vair happy to be talking about the weather.

Just reached the end of my street, oh merde! There's Massimo. I have frozen! Damn! I am just standing here like a dead thing on er... dead tablets.

"Ah Ciao Georgia, I was just er... coming to how you say? Oh yes visit you at your home."

He was looking marvy beyond words but somehow I don't feel all jelloid seeing him like I usually am... Strange.

"Er... yeah Hi. I am just on my way out, but it can wait."

"Walk with me Bellissima?"

"Si" I am a bit nervy, it doesn't help I am not wearing mascara, Poo.

11.45pm

We have taken a break from walking which is good because I don't think I can bare anymore silence.

Massimo is turning to me and is staring at me, like a starey thing on er, staring tablets.

"Miss Georgia, I think we can see each other no more."

Why are we invisible? Hahahahahaha

Shut up brain this doesn't involve you!

"Why? Is it me?"

"Si, I see you last night with Dave and I think to myself I don't like you or love you, I er... Hate you. You make me so pazzo"

"Then why did you go out with me in the first place?" I am shouting at him really loud now, so much he looks a little startled.

"I dates Lindsay now, my true love, One day we are planning on sposarsi"

And with that speech he has walked off and I am now alone, Blubbing.

What did he mean Pazzo? And sposarsi?

12.00pm

After a little blub-athon I am running home to retire, once again, to my bed of pain, I think it is now time to consult Miss Stamp on how to be a lesbian (Erlack), grow a moustache(As if) and so on. Merde my life is over.

Flicking through my "Italian for the idiots who decided to go out with Italian homosexuals called Massimo" book (well it's not exactly called that but you know what I mean, and I think you do).

Apparently pazzo is mad! He said I make him very mad! I can't believe he would be so selfish after all the times I have turned down Dave the Laugh for him. The one person I love. Oh my giddy god did I just say I love Dave again?

2 Minutes later

Ringing Jas.

"Hello"

"Jas?"

"What?!"

"Why did you say what like that?"

"Which way would you like me to say 'what'?"

"Well just er... a bit friendl- Anyway Can I speak?"

"That's what I am waiting for"

"Jas!"

"Yep"

"Well.. I went to Boots because I ran out of mascara and I er.. bumped into Massimo."

"Yeh so- I mean and.."

"He dumped me."

"Blimey"

"Yes I know and he said I made him pazzo"

"Pazzo?"

"Yes it means 'mad'"

"Blimey"

"He also said something else about him and Lindsay in Italian"

"Well what did he say, but don't tell me in Italian because I speak English, Just like translate because I don't speak Italian I speak, er.. English."

Christ on a bike she was rambling for England AGAIN.

"Really Jas you speak English I thought you spoke half owl, half

Ramble-o-gese!"

SLAM!

Great she Hung up on me, in my hour of need, Charming!

BBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGBBBBBBBRRRRRIIIINNNGGG

(For all you dim people out there that is the phone ringing which, I am unable to answer as I am explaining English to you lot!)

"Hello Loony Residence How may I not help you and make your life hell?"

"Gee?"

"Yes Jas?"

"I wouldn't usually ring you back after such an evil comment but I really want to know what Massimo said about him and Lindsay"

"He said 'sposarsi'"

"Which means.....?"

"I don't know I couldn't find it in my language book can you find it for me?"

"Yes just let me search through my dictionary shelf"

Dictionary shelf?, has she finally snapped?

"Jas Do you really have a 'dictionary shelf?"

"Yes I have dictionaries for Lots of languages I have, English, Spanish, German, French, Italian, Estonian, Russian, and Geordie."

Geordie isn't a language is it?

"Jas isn't Geordie an accent which people have from the North East?"

"Yes but they have lots of different words and I want to go to Newcastle one day with Tom."

I would like to go there one day as well they have vair marvy accents. I could hear Jas flicking through pages, taking agesssss.

"'sposarsi' means to get married"

"What?!? Massimo and Lindsay are going to get married Sacre Bleau!"

"I know, Oh my God" She said that bit like she had a vole in her mouth

"Jas what are you doing?"

"Eating a Jammy dodger, by the way I am coming around"

"Good, bring your dictionary and Jammy dodgers."

Good Grief, Lindsay Scarlotti, how naff! Sounds like a chav's name from 'Eastenders'.

I must lie down my nunga nunga's are weighing me down with the stress of it all.

By Madeline Bayliss