(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters except for Josh and the
fans)
Fear the Fans! For they will eventually abduct you, tie you up in a closet, and look in to
admire you from time to time.
D sighed heavily with boredom; he fiddled irritably with the glove covering his left hand, ignoring the pitiful pleading emitting from beneath the fabric at the same time, before looking up again. "The damned room is certainly big enough so why does that moron have to be irritating so close to me?" D wondered, staring at Kyle as the red head tore across the large elegant room, desperately trying to escape from the make up artist who had been trying all evening to re-braid Kyle's hair. "Why doesn't he just LET her already, it's a horrible mess anyway..." D thought angrily as a table went flying past him, naturally he didn't even flinch. Said table happened to land millimeters from Leila (who did flinch...), causing her hackles to rise immediately in absolute fury, anyone watching will tell you that it reminded them strongly of a certain prince named Ashitaka. Battle aura glowing evilly Leila stomped over to Kyle and promptly slapped him hard across the face. "Idiot!!" WHAM!!! The sound of the slap echoed off of the walls, while everyone watched as the force from the slap caused Kyle to perform a stunning 360 before falling off of the chair he had been standing on.
Leila stalked away looking as smug as possible, while behind her the make up lady pounced on the temporarily immobile Kyle who was whimpering and asking for a license plate number in a confused and lost tone. "Really Leila..." a soft voice whispered reproachfully, causing Leila to turn towards the person who had spoken. "Was that truly necessary?" Charlotte continued, standing gracefully to look down on Leila, who was, in fact, three inches shorter. "He was only trying to preserve something special to him, you heard him, the last person to tie his braid was his mother..." Leila presented Charlotte with a marvelous I really couldn't possibly care less facial expression before walking over to her previous station by the soda machine and shoving Mashira, who had been enjoying the cooling sensation of the icy machine against his overheated body, away from it. Mashira looked pouty as Leila took his spot, but refrained from commenting as he had witnessed Kyle's lack of defense against those slaps.
Meier seemed to glide as he moved over to a tall man with a clipboard standing at the back of the room near the large double doors that led outside. "Tell me again Josh..." Meier murmured, raising an elegant eyebrow. "Why it is that we must all meet these so called fans..." Josh sighed and rubbed his temples to ward off a headache. This was the fifth time Meier had asked this question in the last hour, he didn't seem to understand that he had been in a popular movie and that people wanted to meet him in person. In fact at first none of them had understood, the fact that half of them had been dead coupled with the new technology that allowed people to meet cartoon characters in the flesh, had confused the living daylights out of the entire cast. None of them had believed the whole "cartoon" thing until Josh had finally broken down and shown it to them, that (at least) had stopped them all from trying to murder each other, and given him a small break while they all accepted the information. "I need a new job..." Josh groaned, walking away from the miffed aristocratic vampire and nearly tripping over D's horse, which was lying on the air conditioning vent.
Josh watched as it whinnied in an offended sort of way before falling asleep again. With a soft grunt, Josh vaulted over the cyber horse only to glance up and see Borgoff striding quickly towards him. "Oh no..." Josh whimpered, he was about to try to vault back over the horse when Borgoff clamped a large hand onto his shoulder. "Hey, are you sure we didn't exist until five hours ago?" He asked looking very put out and confused. Josh sighed, sounding exasperated, as he swept his hands through his shoulder length brown hair. "Yes, I've told you that already...twice." Borgoff snorted, now looking pissed. "You expect me to believe that? I know darn well I was alive before now, I remember it!" He growled, tightening his grip on Josh's shoulder. "Of course you remember!" Josh cried, wriggling out of Borgoff's grasp. "You're supposed to, that's the point! So that when the fans meet you you're all realistic!" Borgoff blinked. "So this is all for the stupid fan people? Like, like a-a carnival attraction?" He asked, sounding dumbfounded. "Yes!" Josh exclaimed. "Now you're catching on, great, so go explain it to everyone else and leave me alone!" Josh turned abruptly to walk away and promptly tripped over the cyber horse. "Augh!" Josh cried and began kicking the poor dazed horse while he cussed it out. Three seconds later Josh found himself dangling four feet off the floor while D held onto his shirtfront. Terrified, Josh dropped his clipboard and tried to pry D's hands off. D stared at him for a few moments before simply stating. "Don't touch my horse..." He then dropped Josh onto his clipboard and walked gracefully away. Still looking a bit lost Borgoff shook his head and walked back over to Nolt and Caroline, both of whom he had been talking with earlier, and held a whispered conversation with them, they all looked very serious. Finally all three nodded and Caroline flowed over to Josh, yanked him off the floor, handed him his clipboard, and asked in her sultry voice, "When are we getting the food you promised us five hours ago?" Relived that this was all they wanted Josh dusted himself off. "Should be soon Caroline." He replied. "I ordered it about an hour ago, but it was a large order so just hold on a bit longer and I'm sure it'll be here." Caroline nodded; looking placated, and flowed back over to Borgoff and Nolt.
"Finally..." Josh grumbled. "Now all I have to do is go look for the food, and find tomorrow's schedule..." He began walking towards the doors that led into the rest of the building when he was tackled from behind and slammed into the floor. "What the blazes!?!" Josh howled, twisting to see who it was only to be hefted up and hugged tightly. "Augh!" Josh cried tearing himself away from the person and spinning around. Grove smiled happily at Josh before clapping his hands together once, in an utterly adorable fashion. "Thank you!" Grove cried happily before hugging Josh again. "Get off!" Josh shouted squirming. "I told you already, I was ordered to, it wasn't a personal favor, so stop hugging me!" Grove just grinned. "I know, I know!" He said, still not relinquishing his grip. "But thanks to you I'm healthy again! Look! I can walk!" He cried excitedly, running in a circle. "Great...really fantastic, but I had to, otherwise it would have been too hard for the fans to get to you, and it was just my job, so stop hugging me!" Josh said angrily, stomping off and out the doors to find the food, leaving Grove looking slightly hurt but really too happy with his functional body to care.
Two hours later Josh still had not returned and everyone was feeling extremely ravenous. Kyle lay upside down on a long empty table, clutching his stomach and groaning pitifully. "I'm so hungryyyyyy!" He wailed, banging his feet against the table. "Somebody please, feed meeee!" Caroline rolled her eyes and tilted the table so that Kyle slid off onto the floor. "Stop whining Kyle, Josh said the food would be here soon." She purred, slinking over to Bengee, who was currently trying to slide under the door that had no crack at the bottom and was locked. "If only this wasn't steel..." He muttered. "Then we could just break out and eat Josh." "Oh Bengee, that's horrible!" Charlotte exclaimed. "Don't say things like that, I'm sure that dear Josh will be here again soon!" She pleaded. Bengee snorted, looking unconvinced and glared at the door before getting another soda from the machine and chugging it. Mashira stood and began pacing again, muttering to himself, tail whipping from side to side in agitation. "That stupid human, not feeding us! Of all the nerve! Stupid human..." Meier and D were conversing in the far left corner of the room in order to avoid everyone else. "So, D. Do you believe that Josh person? Or do you think he left us here for dead?" D looked thoughtful for a moment before replying. "His job seems very stressful, perhaps he was simply sidetracked." Meier nodded, that was a good enough explanation for him...but not for Leila. She was in the far right corner of the room plotting Josh's imminent demise while Grove tried to talk her out of it.
Mashira was just completing his thirty-sixth round when the door opened and Josh sauntered in. Everyone turned to stare at him balefully. "Dear lord you had better have food..." Bengee muttered. Josh gulped visibly. "I do! I do, I do! Don't kill me!" Just as this was said a buffet table was wheeled inside, and was followed by two more. Drooling, Kyle trailed after the tables until the waitress nearest him looked back, saw him, screamed, and bolted out the door. "Wait!" Josh cried, running after her. "I still need you to bring out the rest!" One of the other waitresses snorted irritably, whacked Kyle in the face and proceeded to chew him out about waiting until he was served. Finally the food was all uncovered. "Ok guys," Josh said proudly. "Dig in!" But nobody did... "What is this?" Caroline asked sounding stunned. "Some kind of cruel joke?" Josh looked crestfallen. "What do you mean?" He asked, he was really getting depressed; it had taken hours to get all this food here. "What is this stuff?" Kyle asked poking at a pepperoni pizza and trying to decipher what it was. Grove stared at a basket of KFC not quite knowing what to do with it, it smelled great, but it looked so freaky... Everyone gave Josh the puppy face. Josh put his head in his hands and tried to suppress a scream. "Its FOOD! You know, the stuff you were threatening me for?!?" Borgoff looked bemusedly at Josh, then at the popcorn shrimp. "You sure?" Josh had had enough. "Look!" He cried. "It is food, I swear! This stuff is pizza, that's fried chicken, those are steak subs, and that's fish ok?" Everyone blinked, then dove for the food. Josh sighed in relief and began heading towards the doors again when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Excuse me..." Josh turned to find Meier staring at him. "Um, yes?" Josh asked. "What am I supposed to eat?" Meier whimpered pitifully. Josh looked lost. "There's plenty over there." He said nodding towards the crowded tables. Meier raised an eyebrow. "I'm a vampire, Josh..." Josh's eyes widened as realization dawned upon him. "Oh sh**!!" He cried. "I totally forgot!" Meier looked hopelessly at Josh. "So...what you're saying is, no food for me?" Josh glanced around frantically, thinking fast. You could practically hear his brain whirring. Meier sighed resignedly. "Oh well, I suppose I could just eat one of those Markus brothers but Charlotte's gone and become such good friends with them that I hate to-" "No! Nonono, that won't be necessary I-I'll go find something wait here!" Josh raced off as Meier smirked; he knew he'd get his way with that comment.
Meanwhile the buffet tables may as well have been a battle scene, everyone was fighting for food, and it was a darn good thing all of their weapons had been confiscated. Kyle was in a life and death struggle with Leila over the last slice of pepperoni pizza, Mashira and Nolt were facing off over a bucket of barbequed chicken (and while they did so Bengee ate it), and Caroline was happily munching on the popcorn shrimp while Borgoff nursed his freshly bruised ribs. The only ones not fighting were D, Charlotte, and Grove. Charlotte simply asked Meier to bring them some food and he did so without being bothered by the others. They munched happily on the chicken fried rice and lasagna without quarrel, Grove and Charlotte conversing happily while D ate in silence, listening in every now and then to the lighthearted conversation of the peace loving pair and secretly enjoying it. Their talk was only interrupted once when Kyle flew backwards out of nowhere into the lasagna, preformed a backward roll, slammed into the wall, and fell flat onto his face whimpering. "Kyle!" Grove cried worriedly, running over to his brother and helping him up. Kyle was gasping for air, apparently winded with lasagna dripping down his back, as Leila walked happily off munching the last piece of pepperoni pizza. "M-my p- pizza..." Kyle whimpered staring after Leila with an incredibly sad look on his face. "Poor Kyle..." Grove whispered in a compassionate sort of way, patting his older brother's bright red hair gently. Meier rolled his eyes and went to get some more food for the group now that the lasagna was gone. He returned with a cherry pie that everyone seemed to enjoy immensely, Kyle quickly got over the loss of his pizza, and even D smiled and joined in the conversation for a while...until the pie was gone. Meier loped off to the door and sat down in front of it waiting for his dinner, gazing sorrowfully at the steel construction for about five minutes until it opened and Josh re entered. "You're back!" Meier cried ecstatically, springing to his feet and looking impatient. "Yes..." Josh said, he looked bedraggled and exhausted. "You'd better appreciate this it took me 45 minutes of my life to convince the blood bank to let me take a withdrawal..."
fans)
Fear the Fans! For they will eventually abduct you, tie you up in a closet, and look in to
admire you from time to time.
D sighed heavily with boredom; he fiddled irritably with the glove covering his left hand, ignoring the pitiful pleading emitting from beneath the fabric at the same time, before looking up again. "The damned room is certainly big enough so why does that moron have to be irritating so close to me?" D wondered, staring at Kyle as the red head tore across the large elegant room, desperately trying to escape from the make up artist who had been trying all evening to re-braid Kyle's hair. "Why doesn't he just LET her already, it's a horrible mess anyway..." D thought angrily as a table went flying past him, naturally he didn't even flinch. Said table happened to land millimeters from Leila (who did flinch...), causing her hackles to rise immediately in absolute fury, anyone watching will tell you that it reminded them strongly of a certain prince named Ashitaka. Battle aura glowing evilly Leila stomped over to Kyle and promptly slapped him hard across the face. "Idiot!!" WHAM!!! The sound of the slap echoed off of the walls, while everyone watched as the force from the slap caused Kyle to perform a stunning 360 before falling off of the chair he had been standing on.
Leila stalked away looking as smug as possible, while behind her the make up lady pounced on the temporarily immobile Kyle who was whimpering and asking for a license plate number in a confused and lost tone. "Really Leila..." a soft voice whispered reproachfully, causing Leila to turn towards the person who had spoken. "Was that truly necessary?" Charlotte continued, standing gracefully to look down on Leila, who was, in fact, three inches shorter. "He was only trying to preserve something special to him, you heard him, the last person to tie his braid was his mother..." Leila presented Charlotte with a marvelous I really couldn't possibly care less facial expression before walking over to her previous station by the soda machine and shoving Mashira, who had been enjoying the cooling sensation of the icy machine against his overheated body, away from it. Mashira looked pouty as Leila took his spot, but refrained from commenting as he had witnessed Kyle's lack of defense against those slaps.
Meier seemed to glide as he moved over to a tall man with a clipboard standing at the back of the room near the large double doors that led outside. "Tell me again Josh..." Meier murmured, raising an elegant eyebrow. "Why it is that we must all meet these so called fans..." Josh sighed and rubbed his temples to ward off a headache. This was the fifth time Meier had asked this question in the last hour, he didn't seem to understand that he had been in a popular movie and that people wanted to meet him in person. In fact at first none of them had understood, the fact that half of them had been dead coupled with the new technology that allowed people to meet cartoon characters in the flesh, had confused the living daylights out of the entire cast. None of them had believed the whole "cartoon" thing until Josh had finally broken down and shown it to them, that (at least) had stopped them all from trying to murder each other, and given him a small break while they all accepted the information. "I need a new job..." Josh groaned, walking away from the miffed aristocratic vampire and nearly tripping over D's horse, which was lying on the air conditioning vent.
Josh watched as it whinnied in an offended sort of way before falling asleep again. With a soft grunt, Josh vaulted over the cyber horse only to glance up and see Borgoff striding quickly towards him. "Oh no..." Josh whimpered, he was about to try to vault back over the horse when Borgoff clamped a large hand onto his shoulder. "Hey, are you sure we didn't exist until five hours ago?" He asked looking very put out and confused. Josh sighed, sounding exasperated, as he swept his hands through his shoulder length brown hair. "Yes, I've told you that already...twice." Borgoff snorted, now looking pissed. "You expect me to believe that? I know darn well I was alive before now, I remember it!" He growled, tightening his grip on Josh's shoulder. "Of course you remember!" Josh cried, wriggling out of Borgoff's grasp. "You're supposed to, that's the point! So that when the fans meet you you're all realistic!" Borgoff blinked. "So this is all for the stupid fan people? Like, like a-a carnival attraction?" He asked, sounding dumbfounded. "Yes!" Josh exclaimed. "Now you're catching on, great, so go explain it to everyone else and leave me alone!" Josh turned abruptly to walk away and promptly tripped over the cyber horse. "Augh!" Josh cried and began kicking the poor dazed horse while he cussed it out. Three seconds later Josh found himself dangling four feet off the floor while D held onto his shirtfront. Terrified, Josh dropped his clipboard and tried to pry D's hands off. D stared at him for a few moments before simply stating. "Don't touch my horse..." He then dropped Josh onto his clipboard and walked gracefully away. Still looking a bit lost Borgoff shook his head and walked back over to Nolt and Caroline, both of whom he had been talking with earlier, and held a whispered conversation with them, they all looked very serious. Finally all three nodded and Caroline flowed over to Josh, yanked him off the floor, handed him his clipboard, and asked in her sultry voice, "When are we getting the food you promised us five hours ago?" Relived that this was all they wanted Josh dusted himself off. "Should be soon Caroline." He replied. "I ordered it about an hour ago, but it was a large order so just hold on a bit longer and I'm sure it'll be here." Caroline nodded; looking placated, and flowed back over to Borgoff and Nolt.
"Finally..." Josh grumbled. "Now all I have to do is go look for the food, and find tomorrow's schedule..." He began walking towards the doors that led into the rest of the building when he was tackled from behind and slammed into the floor. "What the blazes!?!" Josh howled, twisting to see who it was only to be hefted up and hugged tightly. "Augh!" Josh cried tearing himself away from the person and spinning around. Grove smiled happily at Josh before clapping his hands together once, in an utterly adorable fashion. "Thank you!" Grove cried happily before hugging Josh again. "Get off!" Josh shouted squirming. "I told you already, I was ordered to, it wasn't a personal favor, so stop hugging me!" Grove just grinned. "I know, I know!" He said, still not relinquishing his grip. "But thanks to you I'm healthy again! Look! I can walk!" He cried excitedly, running in a circle. "Great...really fantastic, but I had to, otherwise it would have been too hard for the fans to get to you, and it was just my job, so stop hugging me!" Josh said angrily, stomping off and out the doors to find the food, leaving Grove looking slightly hurt but really too happy with his functional body to care.
Two hours later Josh still had not returned and everyone was feeling extremely ravenous. Kyle lay upside down on a long empty table, clutching his stomach and groaning pitifully. "I'm so hungryyyyyy!" He wailed, banging his feet against the table. "Somebody please, feed meeee!" Caroline rolled her eyes and tilted the table so that Kyle slid off onto the floor. "Stop whining Kyle, Josh said the food would be here soon." She purred, slinking over to Bengee, who was currently trying to slide under the door that had no crack at the bottom and was locked. "If only this wasn't steel..." He muttered. "Then we could just break out and eat Josh." "Oh Bengee, that's horrible!" Charlotte exclaimed. "Don't say things like that, I'm sure that dear Josh will be here again soon!" She pleaded. Bengee snorted, looking unconvinced and glared at the door before getting another soda from the machine and chugging it. Mashira stood and began pacing again, muttering to himself, tail whipping from side to side in agitation. "That stupid human, not feeding us! Of all the nerve! Stupid human..." Meier and D were conversing in the far left corner of the room in order to avoid everyone else. "So, D. Do you believe that Josh person? Or do you think he left us here for dead?" D looked thoughtful for a moment before replying. "His job seems very stressful, perhaps he was simply sidetracked." Meier nodded, that was a good enough explanation for him...but not for Leila. She was in the far right corner of the room plotting Josh's imminent demise while Grove tried to talk her out of it.
Mashira was just completing his thirty-sixth round when the door opened and Josh sauntered in. Everyone turned to stare at him balefully. "Dear lord you had better have food..." Bengee muttered. Josh gulped visibly. "I do! I do, I do! Don't kill me!" Just as this was said a buffet table was wheeled inside, and was followed by two more. Drooling, Kyle trailed after the tables until the waitress nearest him looked back, saw him, screamed, and bolted out the door. "Wait!" Josh cried, running after her. "I still need you to bring out the rest!" One of the other waitresses snorted irritably, whacked Kyle in the face and proceeded to chew him out about waiting until he was served. Finally the food was all uncovered. "Ok guys," Josh said proudly. "Dig in!" But nobody did... "What is this?" Caroline asked sounding stunned. "Some kind of cruel joke?" Josh looked crestfallen. "What do you mean?" He asked, he was really getting depressed; it had taken hours to get all this food here. "What is this stuff?" Kyle asked poking at a pepperoni pizza and trying to decipher what it was. Grove stared at a basket of KFC not quite knowing what to do with it, it smelled great, but it looked so freaky... Everyone gave Josh the puppy face. Josh put his head in his hands and tried to suppress a scream. "Its FOOD! You know, the stuff you were threatening me for?!?" Borgoff looked bemusedly at Josh, then at the popcorn shrimp. "You sure?" Josh had had enough. "Look!" He cried. "It is food, I swear! This stuff is pizza, that's fried chicken, those are steak subs, and that's fish ok?" Everyone blinked, then dove for the food. Josh sighed in relief and began heading towards the doors again when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Excuse me..." Josh turned to find Meier staring at him. "Um, yes?" Josh asked. "What am I supposed to eat?" Meier whimpered pitifully. Josh looked lost. "There's plenty over there." He said nodding towards the crowded tables. Meier raised an eyebrow. "I'm a vampire, Josh..." Josh's eyes widened as realization dawned upon him. "Oh sh**!!" He cried. "I totally forgot!" Meier looked hopelessly at Josh. "So...what you're saying is, no food for me?" Josh glanced around frantically, thinking fast. You could practically hear his brain whirring. Meier sighed resignedly. "Oh well, I suppose I could just eat one of those Markus brothers but Charlotte's gone and become such good friends with them that I hate to-" "No! Nonono, that won't be necessary I-I'll go find something wait here!" Josh raced off as Meier smirked; he knew he'd get his way with that comment.
Meanwhile the buffet tables may as well have been a battle scene, everyone was fighting for food, and it was a darn good thing all of their weapons had been confiscated. Kyle was in a life and death struggle with Leila over the last slice of pepperoni pizza, Mashira and Nolt were facing off over a bucket of barbequed chicken (and while they did so Bengee ate it), and Caroline was happily munching on the popcorn shrimp while Borgoff nursed his freshly bruised ribs. The only ones not fighting were D, Charlotte, and Grove. Charlotte simply asked Meier to bring them some food and he did so without being bothered by the others. They munched happily on the chicken fried rice and lasagna without quarrel, Grove and Charlotte conversing happily while D ate in silence, listening in every now and then to the lighthearted conversation of the peace loving pair and secretly enjoying it. Their talk was only interrupted once when Kyle flew backwards out of nowhere into the lasagna, preformed a backward roll, slammed into the wall, and fell flat onto his face whimpering. "Kyle!" Grove cried worriedly, running over to his brother and helping him up. Kyle was gasping for air, apparently winded with lasagna dripping down his back, as Leila walked happily off munching the last piece of pepperoni pizza. "M-my p- pizza..." Kyle whimpered staring after Leila with an incredibly sad look on his face. "Poor Kyle..." Grove whispered in a compassionate sort of way, patting his older brother's bright red hair gently. Meier rolled his eyes and went to get some more food for the group now that the lasagna was gone. He returned with a cherry pie that everyone seemed to enjoy immensely, Kyle quickly got over the loss of his pizza, and even D smiled and joined in the conversation for a while...until the pie was gone. Meier loped off to the door and sat down in front of it waiting for his dinner, gazing sorrowfully at the steel construction for about five minutes until it opened and Josh re entered. "You're back!" Meier cried ecstatically, springing to his feet and looking impatient. "Yes..." Josh said, he looked bedraggled and exhausted. "You'd better appreciate this it took me 45 minutes of my life to convince the blood bank to let me take a withdrawal..."