A/N: There is repurposed canonical child abuse and violence in this fic, please be aware of this before reading.
Ste couldn't help but shiver as he blew warm air into his hands, the early January weather wasn't exactly the best and all he had to protect himself from it was his school blazer, which had seen better days. His best friend Amy clung to his arm, trying to share warmth as they both looked around the car park, they were playing a little game they'd invented called 'Spot the DILF', a game which Ste tended to excel at, being more brash and openly lewd than Amy. His eyes lit up when a sleek black Mercedes pulled up near the gates, craning his neck to get a better look at the man he'd glimpsed inside,
"Now that, Ames, is a DILF," he beamed smugly, untucking his hand from his armpit to point him out, he'd never seen the guy before that was for sure, he'd definitely remember him if he had. He was tall, slender but broad in the shoulders, his leather jacket fit in all the right ways and looked great with the red turtleneck, which Ste was thrilled to see was skin tight, and then there was the moustache, he preferred all or nothing when it came to facial hiar, but this guy's moustache somehow added to how hot he looked.
"What with the porno tash? Ew, no way Ste," Amy protested, making a gagging gesture with her mitten clad hand,
"Oh come off it, as if you'd say no to sittin' on his face," Ste scoffed, Amy giggling at how crass he was being. He was giving Mr Moustache a high-7, an 8 at a push, but then the sunglasses came off and even from across the car park Ste could see he had eyes like ice; a smile played at his lips and he conceded the man was hitting a high-9 now, guaranteeing him pride of place in his spank bank tonight, or as soon as he got home, however long he could wait to imagine looking over his shoulder at those eyes whilst he got ploughed.
"Ste he looks like a right creep," Amy laughed, shaking her head when she noticed the perverted look Ste was sporting as he leered at the oblivious subject of his teenage lust, though it was Amy's elbow nudging him that had Ste realising their friend Declan had finally emerged from the school building and was making his way over.
"Aright Dec!" he called out with a wave, Declan smiling apologetically for the delay and stopping next to Amy, leaning closer when Amy looped her arm through his and proceeded to use them both to warm her up, even though she had the most layers of the three of them.
"So, who's the poor sap you two're demeanin' today then?" he asked as he looked around, offering up the opportunity for them to get him involved in their little game, a sign he was comfortable enough in his sexuality—however ambiguous it seemed to be—to be able to comment on the attractiveness of other men.
"We ain't demeaning anyone!" Ste protested, earning twin looks of deadpan disbelief from his two best friends, "Shut up. Dec, Declan, mate, picture this: you're gay, yeah, or at least bi," he got a nod over that, "You can 'ave any bloke you want, and then you see him," Ste points, Declan follows the gesture and Ste can see the corners of his mouth pulling down as he tries not to smile, "Would you go for him?" He held his breath as he waited for Declan to answer, ready to rub his win in Amy's face, because he knew she'd do the same to him.
"Him? Absolutely not," Declan answered without missing a beat, shooting Ste down so quickly that Amy was bouncing between them as she chalked this up as a win,
"Told you! He's creepy!" Amy beamed, Declan snorting at that, but Ste wasn't done, completely affronted by his friends and their awful taste in men,
"You wot? You gotta be jokin' right?" he balked, "He's the most shaggable bloke to come through them gates, he's king of the DILFs, the Big Kahuna, the OG, hell he's my Big Boss," his adamant tone faded to a dreamy sigh as he watched the man stare blankly at a woman who seemed to be talking to him, watching fingers touch moustache and then wipe at his lower lip absently, Ste's gaze tracked lower, appreciating the way the man leant on his car with a hip. "God look at that arse, god made us with eyes so we could one day witness an arse like that," he added, he wasn't even talking to them anymore, he was just mumbling to his horny little self and imagining those hands coaxing bruises onto his hips.
"Fair enough Ste," Declan laughed, drawing Ste reluctantly from his daydream, "but he's my da," he added, and Ste did a double-take between Declan and the guy, he couldn't see it, aside from maybe the eyes; he was struggling though, he didn't know if he should feel embarrassed or not, because deep down he wanted to keep leering at Declan's dad. "But yanno, I'll tell him you like his arse if you want, maybe he'll call you in a couple a years aye?" Declan laughed it off, and Ste opted for the embarrassment and buried his face in his hands.
Declan's parents were divorced and he had only recently reached out to his dad after moving to Chester, so Ste and Amy had yet to meet him, but he and Declan had spent a lot of time together already, and this was the first actual custody-based time he would be spending the weekend with his dad, having finally talked his mum around to it being a 'regular thing'. He'd told Ste and Amy a lot about him though, mostly about how he was pretty clueless on how to be a father to a teenager, and had settled for buying Declan's affections even though Declan was already chuffed to bits with his extra parent.
Amy squeezed Ste's arm again, whispering his name and nodding over at where Declan's dad was, the man was looking over at them now and Ste felt his cheeks burn red, averting his gaze quickly,
"Aw shit, he's looking at us…" he cringed, curling in on himself as best as he could, stuffing his hands into his pockets and keeping his eyes trained on the ground.
"Course he's lookin' at us, he's come to pick us up from school you eejit," Declan chuckled, lifting his hand in the air to signal his dad over, Ste hazarded a glance as he approached, regretting it immediately when he noticed the definite swagger of a man so confident his gait had him walking dick first, an observation that had Ste shifting uncomfortably and staring at the floor again.
"Alright lads," the low, rough Irish drawl had Ste sucking in a chilly breath through his nose, "Miss," was added with a nod in Amy's direction, Amy was grinning ear to ear when Ste looked at her, revelling in the palpable awkwardness Declan's dad had unwittingly walked into, Ste wanted to bring up the fact that Amy had called Declan's dad a creep, make her feel awkward too, but he couldn't bring himself to speak.
"Alright da, these are my mates," Declan started, going to introduce the pair he was forming a chain with, but his dad spoke first,
"The lovely Amy, right?" he offered a hand and Amy untucked her arm from Ste's in order to shake his hand, nodding at him, "Brendan Brady," he introduced as their hands parted, turning to Ste and offering the hand to him as well, but Ste had closed himself off, determined not to speak because all the comments in his head were inappropriate and would probably get him a smack. Brendan dropped his hand after a beat and looked Ste up and down, "And this lanky streak of piss must be Steven," he said with a smile,
"You wot?" Ste grunted, "she gets 'lovely' an' I'm… what? What'd you call me?" Ste balked, his crush dithering at the offense,
"I didn't mean to offend there Steven, just sayin' you're tall," Brendan's tone was a mixture of patronising and apologetic, which was a feat in itself, and Ste bristled,
"It's Ste," he corrected, knowing he probably shouldn't have felt offended there, but he'd not heard the turn of phrase before.
"Right… well I'm givin' you's a lift, aren't I?" he asked, "Let's get off, it's fuckin' freezin'," Brendan huffed, rubbing his hands together to emphasise his point, Ste untangled Amy from his arm and picked his backpack up off of the floor, slinging it over a shoulder and waiting,
"Thanks for this da, you're ace," Declan grinned, keeping his arm through Amy's and leading her to the car,
"Yeah thank you Mr Brady," Amy called over her shoulder, the two leaving Ste and Brendan stood behind,
"Ta…" Ste shrugged, before trailing after them, not missing the way Brendan rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"Deccy, your mate here might want to ride shotgun," Brendan called out as Declan pulled the car door open, "leg room," he added, gesturing dismissively at Ste, who took that as a sign to stand awkwardly to the side and wait. Declan agreed and folded the seat forwards and let Amy climb into the back, following after her and pulling the red leather seat back into place, "Thank god it's January…" Brendan grumbled, Ste giving him a confused look, "He's made a habit of jumpin' in when the top is down… my interior don't appreciate it…" he explained,
"Ah right, nappa leather that is," he said as he sank into the passenger seat, closing the door with some care and watching Brendan's ass as he rounded the car to get in,
"You know cars?" Brendan asked as he looked behind him to pull out of the space,
"Little bit… used to nick 'em," Ste admitted casually before realising that probably wasn't something he should be telling a mate's parents, especially when that parent had a nice car.
"Well I know who to call if I can't find my keys," Brendan noted dryly, Ste letting out an uncomfortable laugh before falling silent, not sure if he meant to hotwire the car or that Ste would nick it, Declan and Amy were whispering to one another in the back seat but it didn't last, an odd awkwardness overcoming the car as Ste scowled at his reflection in the wing mirror, mentally berating himself for saying that.
The awkwardness dragged on and Ste tried to think of something to say, coming up short and letting out a sigh instead, which seemed to prompt Brendan into trying to break the weird air,
"I haven't been in a car ride this awkward since I came out to yer mam…" he stated, Ste finally tearing his attention from his own miserable reflection to look over at Brendan, came out, he wanted to smack himself in the face over the little flutter he felt at those words, Brendan was gay, Declan had told him that before, it was one of the first conversations they'd ever had. Declan had transferred to their school from Ireland shortly after the initial fallout of Ste's accidental coming out, he'd gotten onto the football team and—when Ste had been accused of perving on the other lads in the locker room—had stood up for him and given the ringleader, the now-former captain of their school football team, a good smack upside the head for it, almost getting suspended during his first week of school.
"You told her in the car?" Declan's voice permeated Ste's haze of… what… what was it? Hope? It was stupid of him to feel like he somehow had a chance with Declan's dad just because the man happened to be gay.
"Yeah, when we were bringin' Padraig home from the hospital…" Brendan's voice was pinched, and Ste figured it must've been an uncomfortable memory, looking at Brendan's face to see he was right,
"What was wrong with 'im?" Ste asked offhandedly, he'd not met Padraig, but he knew he was Declan's little brother, so that led to him wondering if he had that balance issue that sometimes caught Declan off guard too.
"He was born," came Brendan's immediate reply, it was obvious he hadn't really thought before saying that, or after, because it took Declan's words to make him realise what he'd said,
"Little bit harsh da,"
"Shit, I didn't mean it like that!" he protested, "He was born at a hospital! That's normal!" he exclaimed, earning a round of laughter from the teenagers in the car, even Ste was cracking up with a low giggle, "Well it is…" Brendan grumbled,
"That must've been really difficult," Amy piped up from the back of the car, all sympathy and that weird adoration some straight people had over coming out stories, Ste had to roll his eyes at it, and Brendan clearly wasn't about to carry on about it, laughing, a low guttural noise that sent an involuntary shiver through Ste,
"Let's not, shall we kids," there was a growl to his voice and Ste couldn't help but stare at him. He knew what he was doing, he knew his expression was the picture of flirty, bottom lip trapped by his teeth as he looked over at Brendan sidelong, but apparently Declan knew what he was doing too, because his foot was pressed firmly to the seat at Ste's back, trying to get his attention subtly but without actually kicking the chair. Ste schooled his expression, fortunately Brendan hadn't noticed him doing it, but a part of him sort of wished he had, wondering what he'd have said or done if Ste had made it obvious he thought he was fucking hot. The downside was Brendan's distraction came complete with a look of disgust as he pulled into the estate Ste had said he lived on; he was used to that reaction, his neighbourhood was awful, run down and full of yobbos and chavs, he'd started sharing outside disgust too when he'd stopped hanging out with the neighbourhood kids, scared they'd find out he was gay.
He waited for Brendan to slow the car to a stop, glad he'd opted to avoid the gang of lads watching from the park, before unbuckling his belt and turning to lean into the back of the car, he could feel Brendan's eyes on him as he gave Amy a quick kiss on the mouth, catching a glimpse of the man's raised eyebrow as he pulled away.
"Bye Ste," Amy smiled warmly, Ste beamed back and offered a fist to Declan, who bumped it with a quick 'see ya mate',
"Yous gettin' on COD later?" he asked the pair of them,
"Deffo mate," Declan grinned,
"I don't know, I'll try," Amy shrugged, she'd admitted she only played it to hang out with them online, but she'd kicked both their asses a fair few times in free-for-alls, but they tended to team up together most nights and fight twelve year olds.
"Well if not I'll see yous on Monday at school," Ste drummed his fingers on the shoulder of Brendan's seat as he looked at the older man, posture flirtatious, he didn't mean to look at him that way, even if he was renowned for hitting on his male teachers, he did that more for fun rather than because he was attracted to them. "Thanks f' the lift Mr Brady," he smiled coyly as he spoke, Brendan leaning a fraction closer to him and smiling,
"You're welcome Steven," Brendan's voice had a huskiness to it that had Ste grinning the moment he got out of the car and jogged to his front door.
He'd not even unlocked it before his phone buzzed with a text from Amy, 'omg u slag King DYLF is buzzin n D is so :S –A xx' hecouldn't help but laugh, beginning to thumb in a text as he opened the door and stepped inside, not noticing as his step dad emerged from the front room. He bumped into him, an innocent mistake that had Ste rammed against the coat hooks, a look of terror on his face,
"Oi you, watch where you're goin' you ignorant little shit," Terry snapped, Ste could feel the hooks sticking into his back and knew they'd bruise. He wanted to stand up for himself, give Terry a smack or talk back or something, but all he could manage was a weak 'sorry', shaking long after Terry gave him a solid thump to the stomach and told him to fuck off, running upstairs as quickly as possible, pulling the battered old armchair in front of the door and curling up on the worn fabric.
The tears began to fall and his breathing was shaky and interrupted by sniffling, every quiet sob spreading pain through his stomach like he was being hit again and again; he hated how weak he felt, even though this was nothing, he'd been given worse for less, he got off lightly, but it didn't stop the shame he felt at curling up and crying about it. He lifted his shirt and touched his fingers to the skin where colour blossomed into a fresh bruise, overlaying the faded yellow of older injuries, he hated who he was when the doors closed, who he was forced to be. He pushed his shirt down to hide the bruising, wiping his face on his sleeve and looking miserably at his bedroom, at the fake persona he put on whenever he stepped over the threshold, whenever he was forbidden from being himself.
It looked like any other teenage lad's room, a Man City poster on one wall and a slew of page 3 girls on the other, a game poster featuring his first and biggest male crush—Big Boss—it was the only crack in his façade and it wasn't exactly obvious. He wished he could be himself, but he'd seen Terry's reaction to queers on the TV, heard the slurs, been the target of half of them, Terry's way of trying to get him to 'man the fuck up and stop being a little shite', if Terry ever found out Ste was gay, he didn't think he'd be able to pull through from that particular beating.
He was only upsetting himself more, sinking further into the uncomfortable arm chair and burying his face in his hands, sobbing and cowering until his phone gave a weary buzz from his pocket, he kept one hand over his mouth as he pulled the knackered old smart phone out, a hand-me-down from Amy, and swiped it unlocked, his expression was morose as he read Declan's text, but the words drew a pained grin from him. '"Thought u sed ur boy Steven neva shut up, he ok?" ur bf is worried m8 wen shud I start callin u daddy? Prick –D x', Ste chewed on the cuff of his blazer as he thumbed back a quick 'Ew neva hes gippin aint he? Jus like u u dick ed –S x' wincing when he laughed at Declan's response a moment later 'liar –D x'.
He ended up texting back and forth with Declan, the Irish lad cheering him up without really knowing he was doing it, eventually reminding Ste to message Amy because she'd texted him worrying that Ste hadn't answered her. Instead of texting Amy, he suggested getting online for some COD, headsets on and teams made, thankful for Declan for loaning him his old xbox after Brendan had got him a newer model for Christmas, and to his neighbour who'd given him her wifi password when he'd played the 'poor kid can't get online to do his homework' card.
"I can't believe you think my da is hot, that's weird," Declan's voice was tinny in Ste's left ear, the headset wasn't the best, not like the one the Irish lad used, "I mean, I don't mind, at least I know it'll never happen… but da? Hot? That's so weird…" he trailed off, he'd been going on about Ste's comments about his dad for long enough that they'd had to opt out of random matches because Ste was getting verbal abuse and Amy was getting upset about it,
"Amy thinks he's creepy," Ste deflected,
"I do not!" Amy protested, letting out a sharp 'what?!' when she died, the corner of the screen indicating that ScallySte had knifed SkullnXBarnes, "Ste!"
"Wot," Ste whistled innocently,
"You can't blame him Ames," Declan chuckled, "It's one of the only gaming perks to being full homo, mad knifing skills in gun games,"
"An' you absolutely do Ames you said so," Ste was trying to keep the topic off of his attraction to his best mate's dad, even if he wasn't doing a very good job of it,
"It's true, you did," Declan agreed, "Which honestly, I get more than I get the whole 'hot' thing, I mean, the moustache,"
"It's not a good look," Amy laughed,
"He told me it's a Brady tradition, so I'm gonna pretend I can't grow facial hair," Declan lied,
"Oh you poor thing," Amy chuckled, laughing harder when Declan let out a dismayed 'STE!' and the knife symbol showed up on the kill feed,
"I like the moustache…" Ste muttered, knifing Declan again mere seconds after he spawned,
"That makes you an' half the gay population of Chester apparently," Declan grumbled, managing to shoot Ste down before he got close enough to stab, "Pack it in mate,"
"What do you mean?" Ste asked, soon sticking his tongue out as he concentrated on the boxy little TV he was using,
"Huh?" Declan grunted, "The knifing, quit it," he elaborated,
"No the gay people thing," Ste corrected,
"Ohhhh" Amy let out, "You jealous Ste?" she cooed,
"Shurrup Amy," Ste grumped, he was a little jealous,
"Oh mate it's so weird," Declan stopped to swear when he was sniped by Amy, "Fuck! What was the point in that? This map is tiny!" he huffed before continuing, "few weeks ago, I bump into this fella when I'm gettin' up for a slash, he's leavin', obviously, never seen 'im before, ain't seen him since," he explained, pausing occasionally to concentrate on a kill, "bumped into another one last week, same thing, probably won't see 'im again, da ain't much for keepin' em around, that's for sure,"
"Or for keeping his indiscretions away from his teenage son apparently," Amy muttered,
"What? It's not like I can hear him doin' it, besides, mam's got a fella,"
"A husband," Amy corrected,
"Does my da have to marry every bloke he wants to fuck?" Declan asked, "mam's got a fella, an' we all know what a 'quiet night in' means when that night in doesn't come downstairs," Ste could hear the shudder in Declan's voice and laughed, though he was distracted by the apparent myriad of blokes Brendan went through, he didn't know if he'd like being a one night stand, not sure if he'd care enough to turn Brendan down if he got the opportunity though.
He let out a huffy sigh and ran out from his recent spawn, spotting the soldier inexplicably named GamerGrrrl97 and giving them a good shank from behind,
"Oi Ste quit bein' a bitch alright, use your gun!" Declan whined as he watched his untimely demise repeat as he waited to respawn,
"Declan,"came Amy's warning about the insult,
"Sorry…" Declan grumbled, Ste could hear the growls that meant he was supressing a litany of slur-filled abuse—influenced by years of playing online—every time Ste ran out of nowhere and managed another knife kill.
He probably shouldn't have opted for knife kills when playing a free for all with his mates, it was funnier online with the twelve year olds, even if Amy got upset about all the f-bombs being dropped by children, but tonight he was just in one of those moods, he didn't win by a long shot, but he did unintentionally kill Declan more than he killed Amy.
"Damn it Ste! That is so fuckin' cheap!" Declan exclaimed, voice cracking as he continued to throw insults at his best friend, "Get a new trick you asshole!" he cried out, and the timer began to tick through the last few seconds of their match, so Ste shot him, the last kill of the match repeating over and over behind their scores. "Oh feck off..."