Another Across The Universe parody, everybody!
Disclaimer: I do not own this beautiful movie! If I did, this is what would have happened.
I slumped towards the pub, staring at my surroundings. What a dump! I never thought I'd be back here!
Sighing, I noticed my ex girlfriend, Molly. She was chatting with her friend with her hand on her belly. When she turned around, I saw a fat little stomach. She's pregnant…what a whore!
"How's it going, Jude?" She asked me dryly.
"I'm okay, yeah." I lied. "When did you and Phil hitch up?" And why would he choose you, of all the birds in the world?
"About two weeks after you stopped writing." Her eyes narrowed a bit.
Bitch.
"I'm pleased for you, though." I couldn't care less. "And a kid's on the way, that's great!"
Molly rolled her eyes and got straight to the point. "What was the name?"
"Who?" I feigned cluelessness.
"The reason you stopped writing?"
Sadness swept over me as I thought of my lover. Looking down, I said, "His name was Max."
Molly's expression twisted into one of utter confusion. "What the hell? His name?"
Neville Longbottom was suddenly standing by her side. He kissed her cheek, handing her a cookie, that fat ass. Glaring at me, he put his arm around her and steered her away from me.
"You cheated on me with a guy?" She cried out as he dragged her away.
I stood there staring down at the ground after that. I miss my fuck-buddy.