(A/N:) As much as this hurt to write, I had to write something about Mona's death. This one shot has a lot of different elements (vandermarin, vandergomery, monaria, hanna x mike, mike and aria….) I hope you enjoy it!

Je pensais de meme que notre jeunesse etait finie et le bonheur manqué.

She wasn't sure how long she had been sitting there. Her jeans had wet grass stains all over them since she had been sitting for what seemed like hours in dewy grass. The flask in her purse was practically screaming at her, yelling her name out forcefully, but Hanna refused – she attempted to at least. Every second she sat, the temptation grew a little more.

"God dammit, Mona," Hanna mumbled under her breath, shaking her head in disappointment. "You weren't supposed to die. That wasn't the plan."

Hanna knew that if Mona was here, she'd say something like, "Sometimes plans can go awry."

She missed her. She missed Mona more than she had ever thought possible. Sure, their relationship was…strange, to say the least, but Mona truly did love her and Hanna loved her back. Even though Mona went crazy, it wasn't her fault. It was Alison's. Everything that had happened in the last few years was all Alison's fault.

"I really miss you," Hanna whispered, staring hard at the brand new tombstone a few inches away. It had a multitude of flowers in front of it, which, in all honesty, shocked Hanna. After some of the things Mona did to some of the residents of Rosewood, Hanna would expect a few limp carnations and nothing else at her grave. But instead, there were roses, lilies, and hydrangeas. People were probably just sad that another teen was another victim.

"I'm so sorry, Mona," Hanna whimpered, stifling a sob. Her mind constantly kept going back to that A text. It's all your fault. "I would've never let me and the girls drag you into this if I had known you were going to…" Hanna couldn't even say it. "Everyone misses you, actually," Hanna says with a slight laugh. Not a humorous laugh, just a dejected one. "I don't know who to talk to about certain things anymore. I don't know who to talk about fashion with," Hanna explains, staring intently at the tombstone. "I mean, I can talk to Aria about fashion, but she likes more weird stuff. You know that, though… Spencer and Emily, they aren't really fashion crazy. Not like you were anyway."

Were.

Her heart broke at the past sense.

"I, uh, I found a bunch of pictures the other day… they were all from tenth grade and from our summers together…" She had no clue where she was going with that, so she stopped talking. She stopped talking and let her emotions take over as she began to cry.

XXXX

As Mike Montgomery trudged along in the moist grass, getting closer to Mona's grave, he heard a soft crying. It wasn't a sob, more a whimper. He bit his lip; a part of him expected to see someone at her grave. Maybe Mrs. Vanderwaal, who he had talked to a few times when he picked Mona up or dropped her off from dates. Or maybe that guy Lucas, since he knew he was one of Mona's only real friends at the time of her death. Another person he expected ended up being the person a few feet away from him. Hanna Marin.

He didn't view Hanna like he viewed Aria's other friends. He viewed Hanna as the girl he used to have a puppy dog crush on, the girl who was his first kiss. Years ago, when everything was different and him and Hanna were secretly an item, he genuinely liked her. He always wondered what would've happened if Ali hadn't caught them.

Even after Ali's intervening, he liked her. He was always upset the feelings weren't returned. He thought they could have another chance when Ali disappeared, but with Hanna becoming the new 'it girl' and him being dragged to Iceland with his family, it just wasn't possible.

It was even more impossible when he got back. Sure, he had moved on while abroad, dating a couple of girls here and there that didn't really understand English, but a tiny piece of his heart always yearned for the blonde. Probably because she was his first for a few things. First real girlfriend, first real kiss, and even the first girl he had copped a feel on.

But when they returned from Europe, Hanna had a boyfriend and Mike was once again just Aria's little brother. He got over the crush, locked his feelings for her away in a small closet in his heart, and moved on. He dated random peers before finally becoming linked with Mona. He never knew Mona, never really spoke to her. He just knew she was a nerdy girl that ended up tearing his family, most specifically his sister and her friends, apart. He never expected to fall for her.

He remembered it well, their first real meeting. During the school ran support group, the guidance counselor had paired them together in a group activity. They had to talk about their biggest regret. While other pairs poured their heart out to each other, telling the unknown peer about their wrong doings, Mona and Mike stayed silent.

"D-do you wanna go first?" Mike asked apprehensively.

Mona just stared at him and kept her mouth in a firm line. After a few seconds, she sighed, "I hate these group activity things."

"Yeah," Mike agreed. "I don't like them either. I've never been one for group activities."

Mona nodded and glanced around the room. Everyone was talking about regrets and the counselor was making rounds around pairs. "How does he expect us to just tell someone our biggest regret? That's insane."

Mike agreed again. "I don't even like admitting those things to myself." Mike thought about the things Mona had done to Aria and how Mona had known everything, so he assumed Mona already knew the bad things he had done.

"I feel the same way," Mona whispered. "At least your regrets haven't been publicly displayed." Mike suddenly felt uncomfortable and didn't know how to respond. He wanted to ask certain questions, such as how did she know everything, but he figured it would be inappropriate. "Sorry you were paired up with me. I know you probably hate me because of what I did to Aria."

"I really wasn't clued in on those things," Mike confessed. "After…everything, Aria just kept quiet. She still does. Besides, I can't really hate someone I don't know anything about. The only things I know about you is what I've read in the paper. And frankly, the Rosewood Newspaper doesn't seem all that truthful."

Mona smiled genuinely at him, grateful that he was so open minded towards her, despite everything. She liked it. She wasn't used to people looking at her without judgment in their eyes. She wasn't used to people acting like they already knew her from what they saw or read in the news. She also wasn't used to the slight butterflies she was feeling in her stomach.

By the time he had snapped out of the memory, Hanna had gotten up and was now staring at him. "S-sorry. I, uh, I didn't know you were here," Mike stammered.

Hanna wiped her puffy eyes and stuttered, "No, no, you're fine, Mike… I was leaving anyway."

He felt for her. He knew that her relationship with Mona was strained, but he also knew how close they once were. "You can stay if you want," he offered. "I can come back another day or…"

"No, don't. I've been here too long anyway," Hanna sighed heavily. She glanced behind her back at the tombstone before looking back to Mike. "I'll, uh, I'll leave you alone." Mike opened his mouth to say something back, but she walked away too quickly.

He took a deep breath as he walked toward her grave. He took in the myriad of flowers and raised his eyebrows before setting down the bouquet of forget-me-nots that he had brought. He gulped a little before taking Hanna's previous position in front of Mona's tombstone. The granite was fresh, not covered in moss or rusty like some of the ones surrounding him. Her name was carved in cursive. Mona Ruth Vanderwaal.

Reading the years on her grave hurt; she died too damn young. Mona may have not been the best person, her mistakes bigger than other people's, but she deserved more. Way more. She didn't deserve to get brutally murdered like she was, she didn't deserve to become another one of the unsolved homicides of Rosewood, and she didn't deserve anything she had gotten in the last few months of her life.

"I really miss you, Mona," he whispered, not really knowing what to say. He had seen people in movies and television go and talk to graves, so he decided to give it a shot. "At your funeral, I didn't really get a chance to say goodbye. A lot of your family was at the f-funeral, and I just didn't feel like it was right to move them out of the way."

Mike took another deep breath before continuing, "I can't believe you're gone. I mean, I know a lot of people die in Rosewood, but no one important to me has. No one until you…" He felt tears sting his eyes and he blinked them away as he looked down in his lap. "I keep thinking of the last time I saw you. I wanted to tell you something, but I was so scared. I was scared and now I'll never be able to tell you."

"You sure you're okay?" Mike asked, stepping up Mona's porch with her hand in his. "You seemed upset when you left for the bathroom and you've seemed kind of jumpy all night."

Mona smiled at him. "I'm fine. I just don't feel that well, that's all."

He stepped forward and wrapped an arm around her before leaning down. "Well, are you contagious?"

She smirked up at him before shaking her head. "I don't think so…" He just continued to smirk back at her and then proceeded to kiss her tenderly. She smiled into the kiss and wrapped her arms around Mike's neck, pulling him down further.

Eventually, they pulled away due to lack of breath, their arms still wrapped around the other. "Tonight was fun," Mona murmured.

Mike nodded in agreement and sighed a little, saddened that the night was coming to an end. He opened his mouth a few times to speak, but his nerves got the best of him. Even though they'd only been together for a short period of time, Mike knew he loved her. He loved the way her smile could instantly brighten his day, he loved the way her body felt against his, he loved the way they accepted each other's flaws, he loved the way she never stopped trying for them, despite Aria's disapproval. He absolutely loved everything about Mona Vanderwaal. He loved her more than any other girl he had ever dated. She was the best thing in his life right now and he knew that it was love that he felt for the girl.

"Mike?" Mona whispered, breaking him from his sappy thoughts. "Are you okay?"

The confession sat heavy on his tongue, but he didn't want to scare her off or pressure her to say it back. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He leaned down and pecked her lips before sighing and stepping off the porch. "I'll see you later?"

"Of course," Mona smiled, letting go of his hand as he stepped of the last step. "Bye, Mike."

He grinned at her before responding, "Bye, Mona."

He never expected it would be goodbye forever.

"I love you, Mona," Mike mumbled, glancing up at the setting sun in the sky. "I'm just sorry I never told you that in person." He sniffled as tears blurred his vision and he sighed. "Fuck, I wish this hadn't happened," he said under his breath. He wished she could be alive, back in his living room, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Even if they weren't gonna get married and be with each other forever, he still wished she was alive. She should have been alive, not buried six feet underneath where he was sitting.

XXXX

"I've tried his phone a few times, but it just goes to voice mail," Aria explained, twirling her fork around her pasta absentmindedly. It was late and Mike had yet to come home. Aria was sitting with her father alone at the dinner table, the empty chair next to her practically screaming for attention.

"Yeah, I tried calling him as well. No answer," Byron sighed, pushing his food around too.

Aria gulped before guessing weakly, "Maybe he went to a friend's house."

Byron looked at her in disbelief. "I highly doubt that. He's been off since…" Aria snapped her head up and Byron knew not to say the words. "Since… you know…"

Aria bit her lip and nodded. Mona's death hit her hard, especially since a few days before, Mona had said that she should've died to Aria. Aria felt horrible for the words she told Mona in the theater, and some of the words she said to her in general. She couldn't help but blame herself. Maybe she could have prevented it if she had driven faster to Mona's house. Maybe she could have stayed on the phone with Mona and heard what had happened and called 911. Maybe she could have stopped the girls from ever asking to get Mona involved. The last month had been filled to the brim of 'what ifs' and every time Mona was brought up, it seemed like more guilt piled on Aria's shoulders.

Aria's phone bleated out, breaking the silence between her and her father. She looked down and saw that Hanna was calling her. She sighed; even though Aria felt insanely guilty, Hanna felt even worse. Hanna had been a wreck since they found Mona's blood everywhere in the Vanderwaal home. Aria had seen Hanna sob many times – when Ali would make fun of her weight, when Mona revealed herself as A, when Caleb was shot… but never had she seen Hanna bawl like she did at Mona's funeral. That whole experience was like a rusty knife to the throat, but seeing her friend weep over an open casket was a completely different level of pain and hurt.

"Hey, Hanna," Aria answered with a sigh.

Hanna took a deep breath before asking, "Do you think it really was our fault? I know I've asked that a lot, but I just… I can't get over this."

Aria couldn't go through this again. Hanna was always calling her or Emily or Spencer, asking if they could've done anything differently or if she was to blame. "Of course not, Hanna. It's none of our faults." She would've said it was Ali's, but she couldn't since Byron was a foot away. "Hey, Han, I can't talk about this right now. Me and my dad are trying to figure out where Mike is and – "

"Oh, I know where he is," Hanna interrupted. "I was at… at Mona's grave earlier. Mike's at the cemetery."

Aria's heart dropped into her stomach as she thought about Mike going and visiting Mona's grave. "Thank you, Hanna. We wouldn't have been able to find him and his phone is off. I'll call you later, okay?"

Hanna agreed before hanging up the call. Aria sighed and got up from the dinner table after slipping her phone into her pocket. "Hanna told me where Mike is. I'll go get him."

"Well where is he? I'll go with," Byron offered.

Aria shook her head. "No, I can handle it. He's at Mona's… he's at her grave."

Byron nodded awkwardly and Aria just sighed again before throwing on her coat and grabbing her keys.

XXXX

The sun had set and dim stars filled the sky. He had lost track of how long he had been there and he knew he should leave soon, but he couldn't. He didn't want to leave her; Mike wanted to remain as close to Mona as possible.

He hated that he was crying. Mike hated crying, it made him feel weak. But in the current situation, he couldn't help it. No one close to him had ever died. Sure, his grandpa had died when he was about eight, but other than that, loss was new to him and he didn't like the feeling.

A twig snapped behind him and Mike whipped his head around, instantly spotting his sister. "Oh, hey…" he muttered.

Aria glanced at the tombstone before sighing, "Hey. Dad and I were worried about you and Hanna told me you were here and… and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Mike just stared at her, not wanting to talk about his feelings. Aria sensed this and huffed a little. "Mike, I get that you don't want to talk, but the last time you were this upset… things got bad. I don't want that to happen again."

"Nothing's gonna happen," Mike scoffed, crossing his arms.

"Why don't you want to talk to me?" Aria pleaded.

Mike rolled his eyes and glanced at the ground. "Look, I know you don't like – didn't like – Mona. Why would I want to talk about her with you?"

"I'm sorry, Mike," Aria apologized, her voice cracking a bit. "I should have been way more supportive of you two and if I could go back and act differently, I would."

"Yeah, well," Mike started, "you can't. She's dead."

Aria winced at his strong words but nodded. She licked her lips before thinking and trying to formulate words. "I know that this is hard, I know that. Hanna, she's been a wreck, and you…" she trailed off and tried to get back on topic. "I know what this is like."

"What do you mean?" Mike asked, softening a bit.

She sighed before admitting, "There's a lot that you and Mom and Dad don't know… Ezra, he," she paused before deciding to go ahead and tell some truth. "This stays between us, okay, Mike? Understand?"

"Aria, I really don't wanna hear about you and Fitz," Mike sighed, resting his head in his hands and looking away from his sister.

"This is going somewhere, I promise," Aria assured, moving and sitting down beside him. "Now this stays between us, okay?" Mike was a little cautious when it came to Aria's secrets, but he nodded nevertheless, prompting her to continue. "I'm sure by now you've heard that Ezra was mugged."

Mike nodded before asking. "He was, wasn't he?"

Aria smirked a tiny bit, wanting to laugh at the horrible cover up story Ezra had gone with. She sighed before shaking her head. "Not… exactly. The things that happened with Mona, they didn't stop after she went to Radley. Mona did, but someone else didn't."

"Who?" Mike inquired, sitting up a bit. "Who didn't?"

Aria shrugged. "I don't know. But, whoever, it is," Aria explains vaguely, trying to leave out Shana, "they were the one to shoot Ezra. He, he got shot for me and my friends." Her voice wavered a bit as she recounted that horrible event.

Mike nodded slowly before asking, "I'm sorry, where are you going with this?"

"It's just… I saw him get shot. He, uh, he almost died i-in my arms and, and I just, I know he made it through, but, I know what it's like to lose someone. O-or almost lose someone."

"Yeah, but Fitz is fine now and Mona's gone," Mike snapped harshly, staring hard at the tombstone.

Aria gulped and she nodded. "I-I know, I just… I can get what you're going through. You can talk to me."

"I don't want to talk, okay?" Mike growled, his voice wavering a little.

Aria bit her lip before looking forward at the tombstone. Underneath her name and lifetime, there was a quote in French. Car dans ce sommeil de la mort que les rêves peuvent venir. She was rusty on her French, but she could translate a few words and since she had read enough Shakespeare, she recognized that quote was Shakespearian. Strange, Aria thought. She would've expected Winston Churchill.

"I miss her too, you know," Aria murmured. "I know I was mean to her, especially around you, but… but a few days before her… before everything happened, I realized she was good at heart. I realized it too late, but, I did realize it. And I'd never, ever wish that she was dead."

Mike's eyes became teary again and he sighed before whispering, "I miss her too. I miss her so much and I never got to say so many things to her. I never got to – never mind…"

"You loved her, didn't you?" Aria asked after a few minutes. Mike hesitated and she added, "I could see it in your eyes when you were around her. I had never seen that kind of happiness in you when you weren't with her."

Mike gulped as he turned to his older sister before admitting, "I did. I- I do." A tear dripped down his cheek, causing him to avert his gaze. "I know we didn't date for that long, and I know we weren't gonna be together forever or anything, but I do. I love her."

Aria nodded and she didn't need the additional words. "I get that, too. Love… it doesn't have a time frame. Some people are so special, you fall in love with them in a matter of hours. Sometimes it doesn't it take a long time."

He nodded back at her before taking a deep breath, inhaling the scent of grass and various flowers. "We better get home. It's late."

Aria looked at her grave once more prior to standing up as Mike did the same. She placed a comforting hand on his back. "I'm sorry, Mike," she murmured, running her hand over his spine. He glanced to the new tombstone and sighed, "Me too." He walked away from her after, desperate to be alone again. Aria just sighed before turning and looking at the grave.

She couldn't believe that underneath the soles of her leather boots laid a girl who deserved more. She wasn't the best person, and she always viewed life as a game to be won, but she shouldn't have been killed in cold blood.

"You coming?" she heard Mike yell from a few feet away.

Aria wiped a tear that had managed to slip from her eye before tearing her hazel eyes away from the grave and back to her brother. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm coming."

I thought too that our youth was over and we had failed to find happiness.

(A/N:) Don't forget to review! :)