A/N: I wrote this because I was inspired by the whole Demi/Joe/Ashley thing. Joe's lost my respect. Don't judge me. But anyway, I don't think I took the whole story of their mess... Just a portion. It's pretty angsty, even at the end. It's... happy, yet sad, you know what I mean? Well, you'll know when you read this. And yes, I left extra spaces in different parts for a reason. But the stupid layout isn't working for me! ARGH. -bangs head on wall- Anyway... Please review, especially if you have constructive criticism, because it's more or less the first time I'm trying out this style of writing, so feedback would REALLY help me. Excuse me for any mistakes too... I need a beta-er. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own the song "Stay awake(Dreams only last for a night), and I was inspired by two awesome writers... DramaticStarlet and Kspazzed. The line "There's no medication for this kind of pain" is from DramaticStarlet... and I absolutely loved it, but it ISN'T my line. Kspazzed, I got some ideas from her, but changed it slightly. Yup. So there you go. And I don't own Shane OR Mitchie.
Stay Awake... Dreams only last for a night.
Call it a cold sweat
Start splitting hairs
I'm drinking too much I'm on my way to striking out
Blurred visions, emptied bottles, bodies crashing into objects that obstructed their way. The sound of drunken laughter and shouts, the uneasy feeling you would get even if you stood 10 feet away. The bright sign hangs dangerously on the rusty ledge of the old building, inviting anybody who's in pain to go in, to seek numbness and comfort, even if it was just for a night. It's probably (and is) not the most healthy wayto get rid of all your sorrows and anger, but it's certainly effective, and that's why she comes in every evening, at 6p.m sharp, not a minute earlier, or later.
And it works.
It does work, at least until the next morning. Then she has to go through the whole day again, with p l a s t i c smiles and laughter that seems to come at just the right moments. She's used to this. And every day she acts, she pretends, and she's brave. But it doesn't matter anymore, anyway.
She's used to this, remember?
She always hides the pain inside. No matter how great. Because she's Mitchie Torres. She's strong. She can get through this. She always knew that popstars were bad news, and prepared for the final "goodbye" she knew would come. Right?
Wrong.
And she scolds herself because of it every night.
You STUPID girl, Michelle. You should have know. WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID, MICHELLE?
Stop being such a whiner, Michelle. Get over it. It's been months.
But she can't. That's why she goes to the club, to rid herself of the emotions that caused her to be such a wreck. To be emotionless and just forget. To maybe find the old Mitchie, the one that used to l a u g h ( : and s-m-i-l-e with that face eating grin of hers, in those short, few hours where she forgets all her problems, her pain, her heartache. But it's o.v.e.r when the sun comes up, and she remembers everything.
Stupid girl. You should have known there was no type of medication for this kind of pain.
But she still goes there every night, because she's desperate for that release from her life.
Tonight's no different. She goes to the club, thinking she would do the usual stuff. Drink, dance, and maybe even hook up with a guy tonight. Because that's the only way she forgets about him. So she goes in. It's stuffy in there, and almost immediately she's greeted with a red faced, glazed eye boy, smiling in a way he thought that made him look hot. She pushes him out of her way in disgust, but she doesn't blame him- She'll probably be doing the same thing anyway, in about 2 hours, give or take. And soon enough she's had her 3rd drink, and was about to consume her forth drink, when she decides to go out on the dance floor.
She raises her hands high in the air, moving her body to the music, stumbling few times. Then she raises her head, opens her (used to be) gorgeous chocolaty brown eyes, and meet the hazel ones that caused her to become the mess she is, the ones that she always felt were able to stare right into her soul.
Time s.t.o.p.s right then. He starts walking towards her. It seems like he was walking in slow motion. She wished she could just press fast forward and get this done and over with. He was still in perfect condition. On the outside, that is. Not a single hair out of place, trademark leather jacket, and a pair of too skinny white pants.
He looked gorgeous.
She was sure she looked like a hobo. Hair messed up because of the dancing (or what she thought was dancing), clothes wrinkled and untidy, and without any make up on. That didn't stop him from coming, though.
"We need to talk." She pretended not to hear as her surroundings started to move again, the familiar sounds or glasses clinking and belly laughs filling her ears. He grabbed her, and she froze. Not anything else this time around, though. Just her. "Don't try to avoid this, Mitchie." He growls into her ear, and she pictures him standing there, squeezing her wrist, determination and anger shining in his eyes. "I know you've been coming here often. It's not good for you, Mitch, I don't care if you're my ex or not, but you shouldn't be here- by yourself." And with that, she lets him drag her towards a private room. No one tries to stop him, because he's Shane Gray. Shane Gray always gets what he wants.
At least, that's what he told her when he dumped her for a newer, older, hotter, more p l a s t i c Hollywood girl. Her name was Alice. No, Mitchie didn't stalk him- she didn't need to, the paparazzi did that for her. They were all over the magazines. How could she not hear of them? Since the day that they started dating, she hated the name 'Alice'. They had their first kiss on her birthday.
Her.
Freaking.
Birthday.
Damn you, birthday.
She had been really crushed then. That was also the day she started going to clubs and all that rubbish she allowed into her life. So you could pretty much say that the day she was born was cursed.
"What the heck happened to you, Mitchie? What's wrong with you? Don't you have any control over yourself?" The words left his lips the second she stepped into the room. She stared at him wordlessly, once again putting on a front. This only seemed to anger him. "You should know better than to go to these type of things, Mitchie..."
Yeah, Michelle. You should have known, you stupid girl.
"Come on, Mitchie! Where's the girl I used to love?"
Used to love.
Used to love.
Used to love.
Used to love.
The worlds echoed again and again in her mind.
That's right, Michelle. Nobody loves you anymore. You're a good for nothing, abandoned, desperate, and stupid loser. NOBODY LOVES YOU. GET OVER IT.
"Why are you doing this to yourself, Mitch?" He was still talking, pacing around the room.
"Because I STILL LOVE YOU!" She shouts at him. Then he freezes, and she immediately wants to kill herself. This was the worst thing that she could ever have said.
"Look." She carries on shakily, because since she already screwed this up, she might as well humiliate herself more, " I don't care if you have a Barbie, blonde plastic doll with a stick figure, okay? I don't care that you've already moved on, because I haven't. I still love you, okay? And it would be better if you just leave me alone to get over this pain, instead of you trying to be all Superman-like, trying to save the day go 'Oh, hey Mitchie, why are you doing this to yourself?'," and Mitchie's making crazy hand movements, mocking him as she speaks. It's amazing how she can come up with this speech while still half drunk, " well, wake up, popstar. You're not Superman, and this is one situation that you can't fix. You've lost the right to care about me. You lost it when you said GOODBYE, so stop caring, just STOP caring, because we both know that it's too late. We're better off without each other, and..." And while she's still rambling, letting her emotions flow out in every word that she speaks, he's thinking. Having flashbacks. Of everything. From their first date, to their final fight, it all comes rushing back, and he can't help it.
He kisses her.
He knows (and she knows) that it's wrong. He has a girlfriend, and she... Well, she knows she's not supposed to be doing this. But he can't help it. Because after all this time, after everything they went through...
He still loves her.
It's cliché, the jerkthrob who broke her heart comes back and finds out that he's still in love with her, and the poor, weak, heartbroken girl just gives him because she never stopped loving him, and Shane hates clichés, because he's Shane freaking Gray, he's the one who supposed to be original. That's what he's known for. But still, he can't help himself. And so he loses himself, kissing her, making up for the past year that they weren't together.
I'll be fine even though I'm not always right
I can count on the sun to shine
Dedication takes a lifetime...
She's in shock. He kissed her. It takes all of her strength not to collapse. She savours the moment, and she's pretty sure she's dreaming right now. But of course, they're human, and all humans need air. So when they do breathe, he smiles, and she smiles, and he brings her to her house to talk and re-connect with each other. Just like in her dreams.
But she's still half drunk. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Mitchie knows it, and Shane knows it too. And by the next day, after she crashes and wakes up, she would have forgotten all about what happened. Just like all the other nights when she got drunk. He knows this too, and it breaks his heart to know that everything that was said and done tonight... would be just like a dream that passes through the night, but is forgotten the next morning. And everything would go back to the way it was for the past year. Shane would go back to Alice, and Mitchie would continue to try to recover.
So she tries to keep awake for as long as possible, focusing on every single word that he says, and how he looks, because she's sure that this is a dream. And she knows that when she wakes up tomorrow morning, he'll be gone.
Stay awake,
Dedication takes a lifetime
But dreams only last for a night.