A Certain Fire Lord on Cactus Juice Disclaimer: If I owned Avatar what the hell am I doing here?
A/n I've read stories about Zuko and Katara and other people on cactus juice, and it prompt me to write this.
Ozai sat at his royal table, sipping on a "quenchy" drink with a subtle grassy taste to it. His temperamental demeanor was evaporating rapidly as he poured the juice down his throat. A unusual happy attitude was arising and his second born, a prodigy, Azula raised her eyebrow.
"Father, as I was saying, the solar eclipse is today. The Avatar and his minions will attempt to invade us..."
Ozai spins around on his spinny chair and falls from dizziness.
"So, what are our plans?"
As it happens, it was the day of the black sun. And the firelord's sanity should be brought into question.
"Fetch me musket!" Ozai yells from the floor.
"Musket?"
Ozai jumps up from the floor and claps his hands enthusiastically."And m'dear Ursa. Is she back from the hairdresser?"
"Mom?"
"And my son!"
"Zuzu?"
"And my best friend!"
Silence
"And a pot of jasmine tea for him!"
"... I trust that is Uncle?" Azula says dryly.
"Uncle who? Uncle Kaizo? Heard he died of hypothermia!" Ozai laughs hysterically.
What mad man puts a firelord on drugs?
"... Avatar, show yourself!"
"No!"
"Shuddap Twinkletoes!"
Thump. "... Ow."
Azula got into her stance whilst Ozai crawls on all fours and kisses the floor.
"GOOOLD! GOLD ON FLOOR! NOOOO! DON'T GOOOO!"
You could hear a snorting laugh in the background.
"Bumi?" Aang revealed himself.
"Why, Aang! How are you, m'boy?"
"Sheesh! Can't you see we're invading old man?"
"Er, Toph..."
"What!"
"You ruined the element of surprise..."
"Yea, well, Earth's all the element I need!"
Ozai jumps to his feet, giddy. "IS THIS A SURPRISE PARTY!"
"Er, no?"
"I can tell ya lying!" The firelord says in a sing song voice.
Azula relaxes her stance, disbelief etched on her face.
Zuko appears out of a cloud of smoke with his famous Twin Dao Blades.
"Father, I have a confession to make."
"Princeo Zuko! I am delighted you made it to my dinner party! Hope you like roast duck!"
"What?" Azula's face fell.
Aang and Bumi have an old people chat, as they are ancient.
Toph's mind began having ideas of Zuko's confessions, and one of them was... Well, a bit unexpected. And she falls to the ground, laughing, clutching her stomache and and tears streaming down her pale going red face.
"Roast duck?" Iroh appears out of nowhere.
Sokka runs out of behind the pillar screaming, "MEEAAT!"
"Sokka! Get back here!" Katara yells out of motherly concern and chases him.
"AND MY OLD FRIEND THE MUSHROOM!"
"WHERE? WHERE?" Ozai began searching the room.
And thus, Team Avatar spent their eclipse time trying to contain Sokka as a result of their plan.
And lets just say that the Fire Lord, without the pyromaniac streak, and Sokka would've gotten along just fine.