I hate a lot of things. Comes with being a child of Hades.

I hate pollen and flowers, I hate pomegranates, I hate being trapped, I hate nightmares, and I hate love.

I hate certain gods and goddesses, like Persephone and Cupid.

But that's all a part of my façade, the loner-ish personality that I put up so people will stay away from me.

In truth, I just hate two people. Just two people.

One is Percy Jackson, with his stupid bravery and annoyingly green eyes.

The other is myself.

You know, it's really funny. I know Percy won't shun me if I told him. Of course not.

Percy is too nice. He's a hero. Heroes help dejected little boys like me. Percy keeps trying to help, and he just makes it worse in that endearing Seaweed Brain way of his.

So if Percy found out that the creepy son of Hades was gay and head over heels in love with him, he wouldn't say anything bad. But I know that he'll be disgusted underneath, cause I'm a freak, and I know it.

The monsters know it too. They keep taunting me about it, laughing in my face before I kill them.

"Still moony-eyed for the son of Poseidon?"

"Little freak!"

"Does your dad know? No wonder he hates you."

"How did your sister put up with you?"

"The son of Poseidon will hate you too when he finds out!"

Thanks a lot. I really need to be reminded.

Not.

Jason Grace thinks he can help too. Like he's going to be my friend, help me face my feelings and move on.

Stupid son of Jupiter. He doesn't realize that some problems aren't fixed that easily.

Problems like me.

It's not Percy's fault, nor is it Annabeth's or Jason's.

I fell in love with Percy Jackson.

Just one of my horrible mistakes.

I thought I could trust him, when he held my arm and promised he'd keep Bianca safe.

Then he comes back and tells me she's dead, and gives me a statuette.

Like it can make things better.

And I'm so pathetic, I can't even blame him for that. Because I know it's not his fault.

But I have to find some fault in him, or I can't go on hating him.

But Percy Jackson is just too damn perfect.

I sit on the mast of the Argo II, watching the sunset, my knees drawn up to my chest. I hug them closer, resting my chin on top of them.

I hear the distant sounds of the seven, along with Reyna and Calypso (Leo's girlfriend, we'd just rescued her from some island), laughing and chatting together.

The war is over, Gaea is asleep, the Argo is sailing back to camp.

Leo has Calypso, Hazel has Frank, Reyna is going to join the hunters, Jason had Piper, Percy... has Annabeth.

So everyone is happy, except me, and that's the way the world works.

"Nico! Hey man, what're you doing up there?"

I turn around at the familiar voice, finding Percy standing below me, his black hair messy and his green eyes sparkling with laughter.

"Watching the view." I mutter.

"Cool sunset, huh? Guess Apollo has a sense of style. Can I join you?"

Not a good idea!, my internal thoughts scream. "Uh, whatever."

He climbs up the mast, pulling himself up easily. He slumps down next to me and whistles.

"Whoa, you were right, dude. The view is amazing from here."

I just nod silently, moving my arm away when it brushes his slightly.

"So... why aren't you with the others?"

I frown. "Why aren't you?"

"I came to look for you." he says simply, as if it was obvious.

"Why?"

He's serious for once. "Um, I just wanted to say sorry."

I sigh. "We've been through this, Percy. I told you, you've saved my miserable life far too many times. You don't need to apologize."

"I do. "

"You're the hero. You've got stuff on your mind. The last thing you need to do is check up on some random son of Hades and..."

"Nico, just shut up for a second."

"You're telling me to shut up?"

"Yeah. Listen, I've never been a good friend to you, I never showed that I trusted you entirely."

"Because I'm not trustworthy."

"You are!"

"I betrayed you, Percy. I sold you out to my father." my voice is heavy with bitterness and regret. I gained nothing out of that, and lost the trust of the guy I loved.

"That was one time!" Percy said. "You just wanted to find out about your family. There's nothing wrong with that."

I laugh, because I don't know what to say.

"The point being, Nico, I should have treated you better. I'm going to be better friends with you from now on."

"Really Percy? Do you even know why I push you away?"

He just stares at me. I jump off the mast, landing hard on the deck, my knees buckling. I pull myself up.

"You can't help me." I say as I start to walk away to my room.

"Yes I can." Percy said, full of determination that made me want to punch him, or kiss him. "I'm going to, Nico, and you aren't going to stop me."

We reach camp safely, and I watch from a distance as everyone welcomes the seven with cheers, greets Reyna politely and with respect and awe (she deserves it, after all that she has sacrificed), and goes "awwww." when Leo kisses Calypso.

Happy welcomes all around. Percy seems happy for the moment, holding Annabeth tightly, so I shadow travel to my cabin and pass out on my bed out of sheer exhaustion.

The nightmares come, of Tartarus, of being trapped in the bronze jar, of letting Percy fall into the pit.

"So weak, Nico." Percy hisses. "You couldn't even save me. You're pathetic."

The next day is bright and shining, which makes me wonder whether the fates are mocking me. Probably.

I consider just staying in bed, but it would be a horribly boring day. I'm a demigod, and ADHD comes as part of the package. I can't just sit on my bed all day long. It would be torture.

So I get dressed in my usual black clothes, and walk out of my cabin. I stroll around aimlessly, until my feet carry me towards the sound of swords clashing.

"Duck! That's it. You're getting better, Sophie. Now step back, avoid my slash."

A shrill cry, and a thud.

"Oh, bad luck. You were just a tiny bit slow, Soph."

A soft, kid's voice. "Will I be as good as you, Percy?"

He laughs. "Course you will. You just have to practice. All of you, good job. Go and shower, we'll have another lesson tomorrow."

I step into the sword fighting arena to see Percy surrounded by a group of kids, around nine to ten years old. They are all stashing their swords in a metal rack and running off with cries of "Thank you, Percy!"

Percy watches them, grinning. He doesn't look tired, but he's dripping with sweat because of the heat. Is it possible to look drop-dead gorgeous in a camp t-shirt and shorts? Probably not, but Percy does anyways.

He turns and sees me.

"Hey Nico! Up for a training session?"

I scowl. "I'm not a ten year old kid, Percy."

"Maybe not, but we can still spar."

I shrug, drawing my sword. We fight for a while, until both of us are exhausted. Percy wins most of the times, but occasionally I pull a trick which I learnt from the dead, and he falls for it.

I side-step around his jab, and slash at his arm. He catches my blade against his, twisting until my sword flies out of my hand and I over-balance, falling backwards into the dust. Riptide is inches away from my throat.

"Good one." I say, looking up at Percy. "Where did you learn that one?"

His smile falters slightly. "When I was twelve. Luke taught me."

"Oh." I say, because I'm the king of clever conversation.

Percy smiles again. "He died a hero in the end." He caps Riptide, and offers me his hand. I consider refusing it, but in the end I take it, and he pulls me up.

"I've got archery with the Apollo cabin at 11 o'clock." Percy says. "I'm going to shower. See you later, I guess."

"Yeah." I say. He smiles and turns to walk away.

"Wait!" I call, on impulse. He turns.

"Yeah?"

"Um, maybe we could spar again tomorrow?" Shit, why did I say that.

The smile which appears on Percy's face make it worth it. "Sure."

The rest of the day is okay. I hang out with Jason for a while, until I end up punching him.

"For the last time, Grace! Will you stop asking about Percy? We were training."

"Suuuure." Jason said. His nose was bleeding a bit where I punched him, but he was still laughing. The nerve.

"Oh shut up."

"Fine, fine."

"How are things with Piper?" I ask.

"Oh, you know. Cool, I guess."

"Hm."

And the conversation dwindles into silence.

"Hey Jason?" I ask after a while.

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever had a crush on someone, and they didn't return your feelings?"

"Uh, yeah, once."

"Mind sharing?"

"Well, since I know yours, it's only fair, I suppose. Um, it was Janie Levett."

The daughter of Hecate from the fifth cohort?"

"Yeah. I used to have a crush on her when I lived at camp Jupiter. I asked her out once, but she said no."

"Oh." And my incredible conversation skills spark again.

Jason puts an arm around my shoulders, and refuses to be shaken off.

"I got over Janie, and I found Piper. You'll find someone too, one day, believe me."

I shrug.

"Till then, you know you can talk to me, right? That what friends are for."

I shake my head at his insistence. We just sit there for ages, until Piper appears and asks Jason if he's decided to start dating me, which sends the blonde into fits of laughter, and even I crack a smile. Pretty soon, all three of us are rolling around laughing for no freaking reason at all. And I was actually happy.

Maybe Jason (and Piper too) are my friends.

I spar with Percy again the next day. Afterwards, we hang out together on the beach.

"I come here everyday." Percy said, grinning lazily.

"Me too." I blurt out. "But mostly at night."

"Why?" Percy asked.

"I can't sleep sometimes." I admit. "I have nightmares, of Tartarus, and the time when I couldn't save you and Annabeth from falling in."

"That wasn't your fault." Percy insists. "I let go. And we're alive now."

He pats my shoulder, and I pull away. He looks hurt.

"Why do you do that?"

"Why do you care?" I counter.

"Because I care about you, Nico! I care about how you feel."

"What do you know about how I feel?" I ask harshly, the feelings of rejection creeping into my stomach.

"Is it because of Annabeth? Because you like her?" he asks.

I groan. "I don't like Annabeth."

"Oh." Now he's using my conversation filler. Not fair.

I sigh. "I appreciate the concern, Percy. But you can't help me."

"I can't if you won't let me!"

"Just drop it, please?"

Percy seems to debate with himself, until he shrugs. "Okay. But you are telling me what's your problem someday."

I laugh, and Percy joins in. I seem to be laughing a lot these days.

Hazel comes over from Camp Jupiter with Frank, and I realize that in the whole Giant War thing, I didn't get to give Frank the 'Don't mess with my sister' talk.

So I pull him aside, and tell him the usual. Don't fuck her, don't do anything she doesn't like, and if you hurt her, I'll send you to the worst part of Tartarus, and I have experience with that.

I add my scary son of Hades glares, and by the end of it, Frank is shaking. He swears on the river Styx that he'll never intentionally hurt Hazel, and I let him go. Jason, Percy and Leo find out about it, and they laugh their asses off. Hazel gives me a earful that night, something about scaring away her boyfriend, and being touched that I care so much.

I love my sister.

With Hazel, Percy and Jason's insistence, I go out on day on a difficult and dangerous mission. To make a new friend.

By the end of the day, I haven't succeeded.

Hazel is pissed off, to say the least.

Jason just shakes his head.

Percy laughs and says, "Then you better make the most of the friends you have."

That idiotic son of Poseidon is absolutely clueless, and it makes me love him even more.

Who's more stupid then? Him or me?

A week creeps by, then a month. I realize that I'm actually enjoying myself. I get to hang out with my sis, and Jason isn't bad company. And at least I can spend time with Percy, even if he doesn't know how I feel.

Maybe not leaving forever was a good idea.

I say this to Jason, and he smirks triumphantly until I wish I'd never met him. At least he hasn't said 'Told you so'

"See, I told you so, Nico!"

I spoke to soon.

"Maybe now that you and Percy as closer, you should tell him how you feel."

Why was I worried that this would come up? "No Jason. I can't."

He looks frustrated. "You can't hide your feelings forever. It's not fair to you or Percy."

"Percy's perfectly happy with Annabeth, and since when were things ever fair to me?"

He gives me a sad look. "We can't help you if you don't want to be helped."

And I don't know what to say to that.

Hazel ropes me into helping her clean out the weapons shed. Something about brother-sister bonding time.

"Doesn't fighting together in a war count as bonding time?" I ask.

She punches me. "No. Now take this box of daggers out."

The box is almost bigger than me, and I stagger out, cursing Hazel in Italian.

I can't see where I'm going, and crash straight into something.

"Ouch! What the Hades!" A girl's voice says.

Or someone.

I blink until the surroundings swim into view. There's a girl standing over me.

"Sorry." she says. "Wasn't looking where I was going."

I recognize her vaguely. "You're Janie, right? Jason's..." I trail off.

"Jason's what?" her black eyes sparkle mischievously. I thought children of Hecate have purple eyes. Whatever.

"Um, nothing." I say. I get up, brushing myself off. I start picking up the daggers and putting them back into the box, so Janie helps me.

"You're Nico di Angelo. Son of Hades." There isn't even a questioning tone in her voice. More of a statement.

"Yeah, I know who I am."

She smiles, and I can see why Jason would fall for her. She's seriously pretty, but she doesn't seem to be aware of it.

"I've never seen you around Camp Half-Blood before." she says.

"I mostly stay indoors by myself." I say, putting the last daggers back in the box.

"Why? The weather's always perfect at camp."

"It's too bright." I complain.

She laughs. "Point taken. But you should get out more often."

"Why?" I ask.

"Because we don't have forever." she says, completely seriously. "I mean, we're demigods, and there's always a chance that we're going to die the next day. And I don't want to die without having made the most of my life."

For the second time that week, I have nothing to say. Janie picks up the box and hands it to me.

"I'll see you around, maybe." she says.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

She smiles and runs off, her hair tangling in the wind. I'm left thinking how one girl can mess up my thoughts so much.

I stand there until Hazel comes out and waves her hand in front of my eyes.

"Hello? Earth to Nico!"

"What're you thinking about?" Jason asks.

I blink. "Oh, nothing. Just... I met Janie a few days ago. Just thinking about something she said."

He smiles sardonically. "Ah, yes. She messes with your thoughts, doesn't she?"

"Yeah." I reply.

"I thought it was a child of Hecate thing, but then I realized it was just Janie. Something like charmspeak, but nothing magical. Just the way she says it, you find yourself believing it." Jason explains. "If she said something hurtful..."

"No." I say. "It was true, what she said. I didn't realize it before. She said... we're demigods, and our lives aren't very long. That she's going to make the most of her life, and I should too."

Jason smiles. "Maybe you should take her advice."

"Maybe."

"Hey Nico!" Percy calls, banging on my door.

"What?!" I yell back.

"I'm bored!"

I groan. "Go annoy Leo then. Or Jason or Frank. Or Annabeth. Leave me alone."

"Annabeth's working on some architecture project, and the other guys are with their girlfriends."

My big brother instincts snap. "What's Frank doing with Hazel?"

"Uh, he took her out for coffee. Can you let me in? I feel weird talking to a door."

I sigh, start to neaten my room a bit, then stop myself forcefully. I open the door, letting Percy in.

"Thanks." he said. "People were giving me weird looks."

"Welcome to the club." I mutter, flopping down on my bed.

"Then you should go and talk to them. You might make new friends." he sits down next to me.

I groan again. "I did, actually. Make a new friend, I mean. At least, I guess so. I don't know what else to call her."

"Who?" Percy asks curiously.

"Janie Levett." I answer. "Daughter of Hecate."

"Oh." he says, stealing my conversation filler again. "Cool, I guess."

"She's weird." I say.

"Kinda." he admits. "Then again, we all are."

"Some more than others."

He stares at me. "Why?"

"Oh. Nothing." I bite my tongue.

"Nico..."

"What?" I act innocent.

"Stop pushing me away. If you say 'nothing' once more, I'm going to hold you at sword point until you tell me what's up with you." he threatens.

"Can't you just drop it?" I ask.

"No! I need to find out what's wrong. I'm your friend, Nico. Can you take a risk and trust me, please?"

That's exactly what Jason had said, but for some reason, Janie's words replay in my head.

"We don't have forever. We're demigods, and there's always a chance that we're going to die the next day. And I don't want to die without having made the most of my life."

If I die tomorrow, I sure as Hades want Percy to know how I feel. Even if he's disgusted, at least he'll know why I pushed him away.

And maybe Jason and Percy are right. I need to take a risk and trust people.

I look straight into Percy's eyes. I lean closer, and kiss him, softly, before pulling back quickly.

His eyes are wide. "Nico..."

"I've had a crush on you since I was ten, Percy." I say. My voice is soft, barely a whisper, but I have to get the words out. "I couldn't bare to see you with Annabeth, knowing you'll never like me back."

Percy's eyes fill with sadness. "Oh Nico." he says. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

I shrug. "I don't know. I was scared, I guess. That you'll hate me if you knew."

"Why would I... oh." he says. "Nico, you know there's nothing wrong with being gay. It might have been considered wrong in the 1980's, but not now."

I bite my lip, and he puts his arm around me. "I'm sorry. For not realizing."

I keep quiet.

"I can't give you what you want, but I'm going to be here for you."

I still don't say anything.

"You'll move on, someday. Find a boyfriend."

I crack a smile. "Thanks, Percy."

I hug him back, and we stay there for ages.

"You actually told him!" Jason shouts.

"Yeah."

"Did you feel better?" he asks.

"Yeah, actually." I say.

He smirks. "Told..."

"Jason, if you say 'I told you so' then I'm going to make you spend eternity in Asphodel."

"Okay, okay." he grumbles. "What changed your mind?"

"I thought about what Janie said, and I just wanted Percy to know." I shrug.

"I like that! You don't listen to me, and Janie says one thing, and you go and tell Percy!" he complains.

I smile. "Like you said, she messes with your thoughts."

"Oh well." he calms down. "We all need our thoughts messed up occasionally."

It was true, though. After telling Percy how I felt, it didn't hurt so much. As though all the pain and frustration had been stuck inside me, and I'd finally let it out.

I'd told more people now, and just like Jason predicted, everyone was supportive. Annabeth wasn't even mad at me.

I walk down the beach, admiring the sunset. I think how I'd watched the sunset on the Argo II with Percy and smile.

I'm lost in my thoughts and bang into a guy.

"Oh sorry." I say

"It's fine." he says. "I wasn't watching where I was going either."

"Uh, yeah." I say. The guy had the bluest eyes I'd ever seen.

He coughs. "Um, I'm Alex Ryans. Son of Apollo."

I shake his hand. "Nico di Angelo, son of Hades."

He smiles. "I know. I mean, you famous, after the war and everything."

"Oh, thanks." I say, because I don't know what to say to that.

He glances at his watch and curses. "I've to go for archery. See you."

"Yeah."

He stops and looks at me. "Um, maybe we could go out for coffee together? If you want, that is."

I blink. "I..."

"Sorry." he says, going red. "I just..."

"No, it's fine." I say. "I'd like that."

He smiles again. "'Kay, see you soon, then."

I smile back. "See you."

He runs off, and I'm left stunned. Jason's going to say 'I told you so' again.

But who cares? Maybe a son of Hades can get a happy ending.