The better man

He wasn't the better man, he knew it.

Gale knew she was with Peeta now. It would be naïve of him to think otherwise. He knew and yet it didn't hurt any less when he saw them on TV one night.

She looked angry. No surprise there. Her gray eyes looked at the camera with almost hate as the interviewer asked her how far along was she. The blond baker answered for her. Not a surprise either. Six months, he answered. She covered her bulging stomach with her hands, like trying to protect her unborn son from the country. Trying to stop Panem from seeing him.

Peeta tightened her hold on her, and she unconsciously turned slightly to him. He smiled politely and answered everything he was asked. And the few things he didn't want to talk about, he skillfully avoided.

Katniss ignored the people sitting in front of her. She just crossed her hands over her belly and glared at the floor. She looked healthy. Her cheeks were filled and her hair was shiny, neither of those things had been there when they were younger.

The interview ended, too soon. Or too late. Gale wasn't sure of which one.

Something broke that night.

Starting next morning, he watched the news almost religiously, trying to catch a glimps of her. he wrote countless letter but never sent any. Gale saw Annie sometimes and Annie saw Peeta and Katniss sometimes so he heard of her from Annie.

He knew when she gave birth and saw the picture of her daughter. Gale looked at the small girl with bright blue eyes and felt anger and loss.

Because that girl could've been his. He could've been the one to hold her while the Capitol invaded their home once again. He could've been the one to wake next to her every day and smile. That girl's eyes could've been gray. Not Katniss' light grey eyes, so light they looked almost blue under certain lights, but the stormy gray of his own eyes.

Peeta was a good man. Gale couldn't even hate him. That was the worst part. Peeta was so fucking perfect he couldn't even bring himself to look at him with hate. Peeta took care of her in the Games. He protected her when Gale couldn't. Peeta was ready to die for her when Gale could do nothing but sit at home and watch the girl he loved face death. He knew he lost her the moment he saw the baker's blue eyes set on her. There was so much love it was almost nauseating.

And then she came back, she didn't die. But then, neither did Peeta. He couldn't deny he had been glad when he saw with how much coldness they talked to each other. She tried to avoid the blond boy and he didn't try to stop her. Gale kissed her, because he just wanted to know how it felt. How it felt to have her lips on his. Just once. If he was going to lose her, he might as well have a memory to torture himself with.

She was called to the Games again. And again, Peeta protected her. When Peeta said she was pregnant on national television, Gale thought for a moment it was true. Why wouldn't he? They had looked so disgustingly happy on the Victory Tour, it could be true. And when they came back, they spent every waking moment together, training, or planning, or just hanging out together.

Gale thought it was true. Until bombs started falling in District Twelve and he gathered as many people as he could to leave for the woods. A glider from District Thirteen flew over them to take them to their district. They fed them and kept them safe and Gale always looked out for Katniss' sister and mother. There he found out that her pregnancy was just a ruse to get sponsors and sympathy.

He got her back. She was scarred and tired and bloody, but he got her back. Ha, what a joke.

She closed herself up. He heard her cry for Peeta on her nightmares. He saw her fall to pieces when she saw Peeta on an interview. She made a deal to save him. To save the boy with the bread. Katniss wanted him back and Gale just wanted her happy. So he went to get Peeta back.

The rest is history. Peeta tried to kill her and Gale saw how much that hurt her. He could see that empty look on her eyes when she thought of him. Peeta and Katniss didn't spoke for months until Coin sent him into their team. Gale saw that emptiness in her eyes disappear for just a second until she realized that the Peeta they sent her wasn't the Peeta that loved her.

For a second Gale dared to hope. He dared to think that maybe she'd chose him.

Prim died. Prim died with a bomb he had created. His hands were covered with her blood.

Peeta won, fair and square. He didn't win her though. She wasn't something to be won. He was the better man. He was less selfish, less angry. He was better for her. And Katniss would never take him.

So he left.

He never tried to contact her. He thought about it countless times but never actually did it.

It was enough to see her happy. To see her build a family and build a life. To imagine her happy and with kids, even if it wasn't next to him. It was enough to know that her grey eyes shone with happiness. It was enough to know that Peeta would always protect her.

Peeta was after all, the better man.