"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
-St. Augustine
"There was an old saying that Mrs. Weasley used to tell her children. 'It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.' But right now, Ginny wasn't so sure."
A/N: This story is slightly AU, but I only changed the scene slightly. Any dialogue that you recognize belongs to J.K. Rowling, and I took them from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I merely took some liberties with the characters. Without further ado, enjoy!
Is It Better?
Ginny imagined that the wedding looked far different from the audience. From where she was standing… the illusion was a little bit lost. Weddings weren't as magical when you were actually involved. It was wonderful to be able to show up, remark on the beauty of the flowers, or the food, or the music, but when you've spent the last two weeks cleaning this house and sorting the presents… yeah, it wasn't quite the same.
But she couldn't deny that it really was beautiful.
Ginny wanted a wedding like this someday.
Her eyes flicked over to where Harry was sitting, disguised as a vague Weasley relative. His eyes were faced towards the back, watching Fleur walk down the aisle. He had a soft smile on his face that warmed Ginny's heart.
She moved her eyes to Fleur. She had helped the woman get ready, but seeing her here, walking towards Bill… it was something else. She was glowing with happiness and beauty.
Ginny turned her attention to her brother. He looked close to tears. He couldn't keep his eyes off of Fleur, and for a moment, Bill looked as if he had never met Fenrir Greyback.
Fleur made it to the front of the tent and placed her hand in Bill's. "I love you." Ginny saw her brother mouth.
"Je t'aime." Fleur whispered back. Ginny knew enough French to understand this. She was almost positive no one else would have been able to hear them.
"Ladies and gentlemen," said a slightly singsong, high pitched voice. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two faithful souls…"
"Yes, my tiara sets off the whole thing nicely," Auntie Muriel said in a carrying whisper. Ginny cringed at the noise. Of course, leave it to her decrepit Aunt to ruin this. "But I must say, Ginevra's dress is far too low cut."
Ginny bit her lip to keep in her laugh and glanced around. She met Harry's gaze, winked at him, and then quickly faced front again.
"Do you, William Arthur, take Fleur Isabelle…?"
In the front row Ginny's mum and Madame Delacour were clutching each other, crying quietly into lace handkerchiefs. Noises from the back of the marquee sounded like blaring trumpets, which told Ginny that Hagrid had joined the group of people moved to tears.
She dabbed at her own eyes. Seeing all these people crying was making her tear up, but she really didn't want to smudge her makeup. And, truth be told, as much as she disliked her, Phlegm really did make her brother happy. And if Bill was happy… then there was nothing Ginny could do, was there?
"…then I declare you bonded for life."
Ginny was lost in the swirl of emotion and activity that followed. Golden balloons popped, people were applauding, birds of paradise and tiny golden bells were filling the marquee, putting their own beautiful songs and chimes into the ruckus, and all Ginny could see was the look on Bill's face.
She had never been happier for her brother.
Ginny was one of the first ones to congratulate the couple. She engulfed her brother in a tight hug, and he laughed, burying his tear-soaked face into her hair. "I love you too, Gin." He whispered.
Ginny smiled. Her eldest brother always knew her the best out of anyone. He knew that it was hard for her to relinquish like this, to be amicable to a woman she held quite a bit of disdain for.
If she was honest, she didn't actually hate Phlegm. She was nice, and a lot smarter than people gave her credit for. There was a reason she had been the Triwizard Champion for her school.
But after watching the Hogwarts boys flood around her and grovel at her feet, and especially seeing Ron and Harry's nauseating reactions to her… Ginny would always have a sore spot inside of her. Ron was being too much of a git in his fourth year drooling after Fleur to even notice the fact that Hermione had gotten… well, gotten pretty damn gorgeous, if Ginny did say so herself.
And then the arse had the nerve to yell and ruin the night for Hermione… yes, Ginny blamed Fleur quite a bit for that fiasco.
If she had never met her previously, Ginny imagined that they would have gotten along quite well. But there was no reason to tell her brother that.
Bill released her to hug their mother, and Ginny was swept up into Fleur's embrace. "Thank you, Ginny." She said in her heavy French accent. "I know how difficult zis must be pour vous. Merci, ma belle."
Ginny kissed Fleur on the cheek. She found that her own throat was a little too tight to form words.
When she left the growing crowd, Ginny took in a few deep breaths. It was getting suffocating, being around all those people. Merlin's beard, she needed a butterbeer.
Ginny grabbed one from a tray floating nearby and downed it in one. Her mother would scold her on her unladylike behavior, but really, sometimes being crude was just so much easier.
She ran a hand through her hair, probably messing it up more than fixing it (which was her intention), but she couldn't help it. It had become kind of a nervous tick with her, from being around Harry so often (though she would never admit it).
Ginny sighed. Harry bloody Potter. Too noble for his own good.
She blushed and felt like kicking herself again. Why had she been so bloody stupid? Why had she kissed him? Why hadn't she just let him run off and get himself killed? Wouldn't that have been so much easier? So much less heartache for her…
Ginny shook her head, shaking away these toxic thoughts and her tears at the same time. She couldn't say things like that. She cared about Harry, she cared about him dearly. And as mortifying as it had been to have her brother barge in, and then to have Harry ignore her ever since… she didn't really regret it. At least she could kiss him one last time.
Ginny's eyes wandered around the tent, subconsciously looking for someone. She didn't see Harry immediately. Instead her gaze was pulled to Ron and Hermione, swaying in the middle of the dance floor, lost in their own world and smiling at each other foolishly.
Ginny chuckled. So clueless….
But still, it filled her with joy to see them so carefree and enjoying themselves so much. They deserved today. After everything they had been through, Ron and Hermione deserved a thousand days like this.
Dancing near Ron and Hermione was Luna. Ginny watched her curiously. She was flapping her arms about her head in a surprisingly controlled and graceful motion. Ginny saw a few people starring at her, and others snickering, and she felt the old fire return to her from the days where she stood up for Luna against the crueler kids in their year.
Ginny walked purposefully towards her, a small smile on her face. She tapped Luna on the back. "What are you doing?" She asked.
Luna smiled at her. "Oh, hello Ginny." She said in her usual dreamy way. "I'm just dancing. Chasing away the Wrackspurts, you know."
Ginny laughed. "Oh yea, I totally got it. Are there many around here?"
Luna looked around slowly. "No, but it never hurts to be prepared."
Ginny laughed again. "Well, do you mind if I join you, then?"
Luna smiled. "Not at all. Do you want to learn the dance?"
"Absolutely."
Ginny spent the next twenty minutes with Luna, quite enjoying herself. Though she wasn't very good at Luna's dance, and every couple of seconds she collapsed with laughter, Luna was nice about it. She laughed and danced along with Ginny until they were both making fun of each other. Ginny had forgotten about how much fun she had with this eccentric blonde.
Finally Ginny had to stop. Her face was flushed, her stomach aching from laughing so much. "Please Luna, no more."
Luna was doubled over in her own laughter.
"I need a butterbeer. Do you want one?"
Luna smiled. "Oh no, I'm quite alright, thank you. This was more than enough. It's nice having friends."
Ginny smiled at her. "You know you're my best friend, Luna."
Luna smiled at the redhead and embraced her tightly. "I'm not, but thank you for saying that." She said in Ginny's ear.
Ginny felt her stomach clench uncomfortably. Because it might be true, Luna wasn't her very best friend, but she was definitely up there. One day, she would make sure the girl understood that.
Ginny went off, searching for a drink tray. What she found was something much different.
Harry was standing in one of the darkest corners of the tent, doing what he did best: brooding. Ginny sighed. She desperately wanted to go up and talk to him, but she was worried. Would he just push her aside again? Could she deal with that rejection again?
But she looked at his face and saw that the Polyjuice Potion was slowly wearing off of him. His eyes were back to their regular colour. And Ginny had to talk to him.
She approached him cautiously. "Harry?" She said softly. His head shot up, his eyes wide. He looked upset. "Are you okay?" She continued in her tentative voice.
Harry nodded, but he didn't answer, and Ginny knew that was because he couldn't. She knew he was lying to her, being noble and brave again. And it angered her.
"You can tell me Harry. You can trust me with things. You don't have to do it all yourself."
Harry opened his mouth to speak, but shut it just as quickly. Ginny sighed and turned on her heel. This was pointless. She shouldn't have assumed anything. Harry probably didn't even like her anymore. That was really the only logical option.
He wasn't interested. She was just Ron Weasley's stupid kid sister, and he had only ever agreed to date her because he was sorry for her. Ginny cursed under her breath. "Harry bloody Potter." She mumbled.
"Ginny." His voice was his own, and it surprised her. She hadn't known what to expect, but hearing Harry's voice come out of that body was disconcerting.
She whipped back around and met his gaze. He looked desperate. His right hand reached out, and he placed it on her arm, putting the barest of pressure on her skin. "You look beautiful today." And that was all he said. And strangely, it was enough for Ginny.
Ginny blinked, and opened her mouth. Harry would never find out what she was going to say.
There was a flash of silver light from the middle of the dance floor. It was getting quieter in waves, and Harry and Ginny could both feel the tension and fear peaking. His hand clenched infinitesimally tighter on her arm.
Kingsley Shacklebolt's deep, slow voice filled the tent. "The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming."
Ginny whipped her head back towards Harry. His eyes were wide with fear, with desperation, pleading with her.
"Go." She whispered. It was the last word she would say to him for a very long time.
Harry sprinted off into the crowd of terrified, stampeding guests. Ginny braced herself. Sure enough, mere seconds after Harry had left her side, Death Eaters started appearing. Ginny pulled her wand and was firing curses before even she knew it. She was determined to protect these people, her brothers, Harry. He needed to get out of here. She needed to give him time.
She saw Luna fighting with her father. Xenophillius was looking terrified, trying to urge Luna away, but Luna was refusing. She was firing hexes at Death Eaters and shouting at her father. Her eyes found Ginny's.
"GO!" Ginny yelled. "LUNA, GO!" She would not lose another friend. She refused to let it happen.
Luna looked at her, and their eyes met for the briefest of moments. "Be safe." Luna mouthed, and Ginny nodded. She was gone in the next second.
A masked Death Eater was charging her. Ginny gritted her teeth and floored him with a well-placed stunning spell.
HG~HG~HG~HG~HG
Harry had never seen her look more beautiful than she did right here, right now. Her face was flushed with happiness and she was clutching at her side, laughing with Luna, and Harry desperately wished for it to be him that was making her that happy. But he had promised Ron. And it wouldn't do any good to get attached to Ginny again, not when he was leaving so soon.
This dark corner of the festivities fit his mood precisely. Not five minutes before he had found out that Dumbledore, his greatest mentor and the person Harry had most trusted, had lied to him, over and over again. He set him on this suicide death-mission, and he hadn't even had the decency to tell him everything.
Harry bit his lip. This was making him horribly angry. He didn't want to be angry. He wanted to be happy for Bill and Fleur. They were lucky. They got their love so easily. They could be together, they could get married… Harry knew it was in poor taste to be jealous of them today, but he really couldn't help it.
His heart was immediately in his throat when he saw Ginny walking towards him, a happy little smile still plastered to her face. He immediately turned his gaze to the ground. If she didn't see him (more precisely if he didn't see her) then he would be sure that he didn't say something stupid, do something he regretted.
If only he was so lucky.
"Harry?" She said, barely loud enough for him to hear. Harry's eyes jerked up, and his heart stopped. Merlin, why was she so beautiful? Why did she have to torture him like this? Didn't she know how much it hurt to talk to her, to be so close to her, and unable to have her?
"Are you okay?" She asked, and for half a second, Harry considered telling her everything. Letting someone in on the secret, on the burden, would take that much more off of Harry's shoulders. He was too young to be dealing with this. It was too much for him. He didn't deserve this. If he just told her…
But Harry just nodded. It would be selfish to force this on Ginny, especially when she had done nothing wrong. He prayed that she would just take his answer and leave it at that. But of course, she couldn't. Ginny never could take a half-truth. It was one of the things he loved about her.
"You can tell me Harry. You can trust me with things. You don't have to do it all yourself." She said, a little hotly.
Harry almost told her, again. He almost spilled everything. He almost ranted about Dumbledore's betrayal, and the Horcruxes, and this mission, and how insanely impossible it really was… But he didn't. He stopped himself.
Ginny sighed in defeat. She turned to leave, and Harry's heart clenched. He wanted her to leave, to make this easier for both of them, but he couldn't let her go.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he said, "Ginny." And that stopped her. She turned around, and his heart raced under her gaze. He reached his hand out, desperate to touch her, to feel how wonderfully alive she really was. "You look beautiful today." And there, he said it. Now she knew. He wanted her to know. He still cared. He had to let her know, just this once…
She opened her mouth to say something, but the words never came out.
HG~HG~HG~HG~HG
Ginny spun around to face him, her eyes wide with horror. He knew his own expression must be mirroring hers. He searched her eyes. He couldn't leave her. He couldn't leave her defenseless here, could he? But Ron and Hermione… they needed to leave. They couldn't stay here. They were just putting everyone else in danger. But he couldn't leave Ginny…
"Go." She said, and he wasted no time in following her instructions. He desperately wanted to kiss her again, one last time; he was aching for it. But he didn't have time. If he kissed her, he would never let go.
He sprinted away from her, too terrified to look back, to watch her watch him abandon her.
He couldn't find Ron and Hermione before the Death Eaters got there. He had wanted to be gone, to disappear, so there was no chance they could punish the people at the wedding, but he wasn't lucky enough.
Three steps in front of him, Luna turned on the spot and disappeared with a pop. He felt a surge of relief at knowing she was safe. When she disappeared, there were Ron and Hermione, right across from him.
He ran to them. He reached his hand out to grab Ron, when movement caught his eye. A Death Eater was charging Ginny. She had a determined look on her face, her jaw set, but Harry felt terror grip him.
"NO! GINNY!" He yelled and jumped towards her.
Lupin caught him mid-air. "GO!" He screamed. "GET OUT OF HERE!"
Hermione was gripping his arm and turning on the spot before he could stop her. Ginny's eyes flicked up at his voice, the Death Eater in front of her crumbling to the ground. Her eyes met Harry's once more, and then he was pulled into crushing darkness.
HG~HG~HG~HG~HG
"NO! GINNY!" Ginny could hear it over the screaming of the crowd. She pulled her eyes up from the falling Death Eater to see Harry, being pushed back by Lupin. Brown eyes met green, and Harry opened his mouth to say something, but Hermione was holding onto him and spinning on the spot before the words could come out.
Ginny watched him disappear, and she was gripped by panic. This may very well be the last time she saw Harry Potter alive. She wanted to tell him she loved him, she wanted to kiss him, one more time. But he was already gone.
There was an old saying that Mrs. Weasley used to tell her children. 'It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.' But right now, with Harry disapparating in front of her, Ginny wasn't so sure.
"PROTEGO!" Ginny heard Bill yell. She turned, thoughts of Harry immediately being pushed from her mind as she saw Fleur being born down on by two snarling Death Eaters.
No one messes with Ginny's family.
She threw herself in front of the blonde, brandishing her wand and shooting jinx after jinx at them. She didn't even know what she was saying anymore.
Ginny looked around. The guests were gone. The only people left were the Order members that had been at the wedding, the Delacours, and the Weasleys.
Bellatrix Lestrange stepped from the mix of the crowd, and suddenly it seemed like all movement halted. Death Eaters and wedding guests alike stopped firing jinxes and hexes and merely stood, wands brandished.
Bellatrix looked around at all of them with a haughty expression on her face. Ginny couldn't control the animalistic growl that escaped her throat. She was still poised in front of Fleur, who was cursing quietly in French, trying to get around her. But Ginny was adamant in her protection.
Bellatrix sneered at the family. "Oh, I see we're breaking up a party. What a pity. I do enjoy a good party."
Arthur Weasley stepped forward, glaring at her. "What do you want? This was a peaceful gathering. You have no business here."
"Ah, but that's where you're wrong." She said approaching him. Mr. Weasley stiffened. "You see, we received a tip that Harry Potter was staying here. You wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?"
Arthur looked around that the people still gathered there. "See for yourself. Do you see him here?"
Bellatrix snarled. "That's not what I asked."
"We don't know where he is." Bill said, taking Ginny's place in front of his wife. "Now get out of here. He won't try and come back, not now that he knows you've all been here."
"But you, Weasleys, are the closest thing our young Mr. Potter has to a family." Bellatrix said in a fake baby voice that made Ginny's skin crawl. "Why would he abandon his family?"
She looked around at the Weasleys, and her gaze paused on Ginny. Her lip curled into a sinister smile. "Hello dearie." She said, stepping towards Ginny.
Bill growled.
Bellatrix tuted at him. "Down dog. You wouldn't want me to curse your wife, would you?" Bill backed off slightly. "Good boy. Now, as I was saying… you're a very pretty girl, young Miss Weasley."
Ginny tried to remain impassive. "What do you want?"
"You see we know all about you, Ginevra 'Ginny' Weasley. We know everything there is to know about you, including that you are currently involved with Harry Potter. Now, if you tell us where he is, we won't torture your family."
Ginny scoffed. "Your information must be off. Harry dumped me."
Bellatrix's eyes widened, and Ginny knew she had surprised her. "You're lying."
"Oh, you think so, do you? Well, if he were here, you could ask him yourself. The git left me, because he couldn't 'handle a relationship right now'. Believe me, the last person I want to see right now is Harry Potter." Ginny was lying out of her arse, but she was hoping that Bellatrix was too flustered to try Legilimency.
Bellatrix was not happy. "Are you sure you're going to stick with that answer, dearie? Because if I find out you've been lying to me…" Bellatrix twirled her wand menacingly, "I'll be paying you a return visit."
Ginny didn't say anything. Bellatrix raised her wand. Fred spoke up. "Oy! Are you going to stand here all day threatening us, or go out and find Potter? Because I don't know about you, but if I was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, I wouldn't be very happy with a failed mission."
That shook the Death Eaters up. They started to shift restlessly. Bellatrix sneered. "Very well, Weasleys. You're lucky Potter decided to leave you all to fend for yourselves. But remember, I'll be around." She snapped her fingers and disappeared. One by one, the Death Eaters followed her.
When the last one had disappeared into the night, Ginny let fatigue overcome her. She sank to the ground, her legs shaking.
Bill was embracing Fleur tightly.
Arthur was speaking softly to the couple. Bill shook his head, but then Mr. Weasley said a few more words, and Bill nodded and disapparated with Fleur.
Fred and George were righting overturned tables with their wands, mumbling to each other. Monsieur Delacour was leading his wife inside, who was looking very pale. Gabrielle seemed lost, unsure of what to do. Tonks was trying to comfort her.
Ginny felt like she should be crying. She had just gone through something incredibly traumatic. Shouldn't she be crying? But all she could think about was last spring, sitting next to the lake.
HG~HG~HG~HG~HG
She should be inside studying for her O.W.L.s. At least, that's what Hermione's been pressuring her to do these past weeks (months really, if she's being honest with herself). But the thing about Hermione was that she was dreadfully clever, unbelievably so, she just didn't trust her own intelligence.
Ginny was different. She wouldn't be winning any 'Student of the Year' awards, and she most certainly wouldn't be named Head Girl, but that wasn't because she wasn't smart; that wasn't it at all. She just… couldn't be bothered with rules and studying. She was lucky she tested really well.
Ginny was confident in her ability to at least pass all her O.W.L.s, which was why she could afford this day down by the lake (though she would have taken it either way).
It was strange. For all of her time liking Harry, she hadn't really spent more than twenty minutes alone with him at a time. They always had other people around to buffer the conversation. Truth be told, Ginny was worried about awkward pauses that might occur between them. But the pauses weren't awkward. They were comfortable. Ginny liked just being with Harry as much as she liked talking to him.
And don't get her wrong, she loved talking to him. But these quiet afternoons down by the lake were a blessing, too.
"Hey Gin?" Harry muttered, breaking the calm silence for the first time in at least half an hour.
Ginny gave a noncommittal grunt of recognition. She felt Harry smile against the top of her head.
"Do you ever think about the future?" He asked.
Ginny shrugged, but felt like this was a very serious conversation. And that worried her, for some reason. "I don't know." She answered truthfully. "I guess so, a little bit. I mean, it's still a long ways away. We still have to get through school and stuff."
"Yeah, I know. But… do you ever think about what you want to do when you're older?"
Ginny shrugged again. "I've always kind of played with the idea of Quidditch, as a professional career."
Harry sat up, jolting Ginny from her calm reverie. "What? Really? You wanna play Quidditch?"
Ginny cleared her throat and shifted uncomfortably. "Uh… yeah. I don't know, I'm probably not good enough…"
"Don't be ridiculous. You're amazing at it, Gin. When the war ends, you should definitely try out."
Ginny blushed. "I'm nowhere near where you are…"
Harry scoffed. "Quidditch was never for me. And you're Hogwarts' highest scoring Chaser in fifty years. Any team would kill to have you."
"Well… thanks, that means a lot coming from you, Captain." She teased. Harry chuckled. "But if that doesn't work out, I also thought about writing. I've always sort of loved journalism. I'd want to get the story out there. With the way newspapers are run right now, you hardly know what to believe. I'd want to fix that."
Harry smiled at her proudly. "It's great that you know what you want to do so early in your life."
"Well… I don't know… I just think. And anyways, how old were you when you figured out you wanted to be an Auror?"
Harry laughed. "Touché." He got quiet for a second. "Will you promise me something Gin?"
"Sure."
"Well don't agree so fast. You don't know what it is yet."
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Just tell me, Potter."
Harry smiled, but then his face got serious again. "Promise me, that no matter what happens with this war, you'll always try to pursue your dream. Promise me that you'll work for it and no matter what, that you won't give up on it."
"Uh oh, this is sounding really serious. What is it Harry?"
"It's nothing. It's just… I want you to have everything you've ever wanted. And who knows if we'll make it out of this alive-"
"Don't say that." Ginny cut in fiercely. "We're both making it out of this alive."
"How can you possibly know that?"
Ginny shrugged. "It's simple, really. You're just too damn stubborn to die." Harry managed a small smile. Ginny cupped his cheek in her hand. "I promise that I'll work for my dream, okay?"
Harry smiled wider. "Thanks Ginny. I… I needed that." Ginny nodded and didn't think anything else of it.
HG~HG~HG~HG~HG
He must have known, even then, that their relationship would have to end. Even when they were together, Harry was always looking out for her, always preparing for the worst.
It was so like him. Even as Ginny sat on the dance floor at her brother's hastily vacated wedding, Ginny wanted to laugh at how very predictable Harry Potter was, almost to the point of a fault.
How long had he known that he would have to go off on some super-secret quest? How long had Ron and Hermione known? And more importantly, why had he let them go along?
She knew they were his best friends, but Harry loved them, quite possibly more than anyone else in the world. So why had he refused to even be in a relationship with her because of how 'dangerous' it was, but he was willing to bring Ron and Hermione on his quest to kill Voldemort? Why couldn't she go? It must have been more than just that Harry didn't want her to get hurt.
Maybe it was because of the trace. But there were ways around that… though maybe it was better that she wasn't disrupting and intruding on their fight for survival. But that didn't mean it hurt any less.
She wanted to be with them. Who knew the next time she'd be able to see them? When would she get to hug Hermione, or call her brother a prat, or kiss Harry? Would she ever see them again? Suddenly she was gripped with guilt.
She hadn't even told Ron she loved him in months… maybe longer. She had kind of stopped liking him after the whole Lavender fiasco. Sure, she loved her brother… she just didn't always like him very much.
What had she last said to him? Tuck in your shirt; you look homeless, she thinks. That sounds about right. She should have hugged him, told him she was proud of him, that she loved him… would she get to say it again?
And what about Hermione? She would likely murder Harry or Ron (or both), being stuck with them wherever the hell they end up. No doubt she'd either end up tearing Ron's head off or jumping his bones before too long. Ginny wasn't too upset that she was missing that.
And then there was Harry. She couldn't even think about him.
She meant what she said, all those months ago. She had no doubt that Harry would make it out of this war alive, if maybe not all in one piece. But the rest of them… how many casualties would there be?
Suddenly this war was looming bigger and scarier than Ginny had ever felt it before. She looked around at her family, all of them shaken or distraught in some way, and the need to sob washed over Ginny. What if they didn't all make it out of this? What if she didn't make it out of this?
She prayed to Merlin for one thing and one thing only. That before she died, she would get to see everyone she loved, one last time. Luna, Neville, Ron, Hermione, Harry… Hell, she'll even take Seamus and Lavender Brown. Just so long as she gets one last chance to tell them how much they mean to her. Because she wouldn't have survived without each and every one of them. And they should know that.
She looked up at the dancing candles, cruelly cheery in this dark atmosphere. Just one more time… she just wanted to see them all one more time…
Because her mother was right; loving these people had made her whole life worth it. And even if she lost some of them, if she lost herself… she wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
It was better to have had them, and known them, lived and laughed with them, then lived a single day without them in the world.
And she just wanted to see them again.
HG~HG~HG~HG~HG
End.