Spoot: I'm back, sorry, writers block took hold, ok, this popped up from a dream I had. Enjoy!

They Call Me Watson

"Al, calm down!" Ed Exclaimed. The said metal boy was rushing a door, he looked a bit frazzled in his armor, and he was holding a strange-looking doll, made of cardboard and tubes. "I can't! I can't! I wanna Eat!" He says as loudly as he could.

The two boys were outsider a hospital, a...mental hospital. The doors opened and the two boys entered. The place was like any other hospital, full of people wondering the halls. The two began to approach the reception desk. Al looked up once they got to the desk, he began to read out loud: "Cats, birds, snakes...Imagenary friends! LETS GO!" He began to run down the hall full of doors. Ed slammed his hand onto his face, and let it slide over it. Al was rushing to every door, opening them and yelling into them. Ed looked over at the women working the desk. "As you can see, where here for Doctor Slanco." The women nodded, and pointed down a different hall.

Ed approached his brother, cautiously, as to not spook him. "Al, come on, we gatta go down this way." Al looked at his little friend. "Well, Woodie Oodie...LETSGO!" he shouted, then shook the doll, "NO! It's your turn to Take out the trash!" Ed smiled. "Yes, are you ready?" he asked. Al nodded, and the two made their way to the doctor's office.

She was a pretty women, young, blond-ish, with brown eyes. The two boys entered after they were told to. Al burst in the door and threw his little friend at the wall. "WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN!" He shouted, then began to dance around the room making his arms do strange things. "This must be Al." Said the Doctor. "Yes." Ed started. "What exactly is an Egyptian?" She asked, Ed sat down and crossed his legs man style and laughed. "I don't know, really." SHe nodded and stood up. "May I have some back ground on this?" She asked, taking a stroll. Al jumped up and down, and declared he was the easter Kangaroo. "Well, I'm not sure when it began, but he started talking to that doll over there about a week ago, and it was all down hill from there." Ed said, pointing at the Easter Kangaroo. "I see." She said. "Ok, I would love it if I could talk to him alone." Ed nodded, and stood up to leave when the door opened, and a Xing women entered, she spoke in Xing to the doctor, the two Women talked a bit. Al walked over to Ed and got down on all fores. "Why do Xings always sound like they're chewing on something when they talk?" he asked his older Brother. Ed shrugged. "Listen Al, I'm gunna leave the room for a bit, you stay here and play, ok." Al nodded and began to walk around on his hands and knees, mooing like a cow.

"come on! I know you're here somewhere!" Ed was searching through some papers and books, in the doctors study. The good doc was in possession of a philosophers stone. or so the two boys thought, That was why they were here. Now, with the doctor distracted by Al, Ed could search her things, for books, research or, the stone itself. so far he was not having much luck. Acording to the story, this doctor could heal her patients with just a touch. Now Ed first though that maybe she would have the stone on her person. but Upon seeing her, it was clear she did not. Al was there, close enough to get a good look, and the idea was to distract her.

Ed gave up, and decided to head back to the office where Al and the Good Doctor were. he had about made it to the door when a man stopped him. "Pass." He said. Ed had to look up. this man was HUGE. maybe bigger than Armstrong! "Uh...Pass?" Ed repeated. "PASS!" The man yelled. Ed had to laugh. he was forgetting where he was. a mental hospital. This man was obviously crazy. "Look buddy, I don't have a pass, and I don't plan on getting one. you loon." With that being said, he went to walk around this man, but again was stopped. "No pass, no...pass." he said. Ed groned and threw his head back. "I don't need a pass you crazy person!" The man reached out to grabbed him, but Ed dodged it, and began to run the other way. The man chased. "Oh crap! LEAVE ME ALONE YOU LOONATIC!" he shouted and picked up speed.

Al looked at the door, wondering where Ed was. "Whats his name?" The doctor asked. Al looked back at here, remembering he was supposta be acting like a loon. he wasnt sure how long he could keep it up. he was running out of material. "Snoodie Loodie." He said. "I thought it was Fudoodle." said the Doctor. Al gave her a weird look, becoming frightened, he backed away from her. "You're weird..." he said in a voice full of fear. he took this opportunity to escape and go look for Ed. he swung the door open just as Ed came flying by screaming, then the big man came flying by demanding a pass. Al shut the door quickly and turned to the Doctor with a giggle. "What was that?" she asked, standing up. "I don't know!" Al shouted reaching out for her. "Was it Santa, WAS IT!" She gave him a hug, thinking he was scared. "Ssshhh sssh ssssshhh, its ok, I should go look into that..." She let Al go. "NO! Dont leave me here! I don't wanna be alone with...him!" he pointed at the friend he had brought with him. "He wants to eat me..." The doctor sighed and sat down. "He does?" She asked.

Ed rushed to get to a room with an open door. He made it in, and hid behind a desk. The big man entered, looked around, then left. "Phew!" Ed exclaimed, wiping his brow. then he stood up, just as he heard a womans voice coming closer. he panics, looking around the room in fast forward. "Where where where! AHH!" he spotted a good place behind a sofa and made a dive for it, landing with a thud and a moan. "That's why I broke it off." said the women. "That was a good lunch, ok Sherry, I'll talk to you later." The women entered the room and closed the door. Ed was panicked looking around for a way out. could this day get any worse... The women sat down at her desk, and began to write in a note pad. Ed was Pursperating profusely. panic was building more and more with each passing moment. he looked down, and spotted a coin on the floor. SWEET! he picked it up, and tossed it across the room. The women looked up from her paper, and made here way to the noise. Ed crawled across the room to the door, reached up, and opened it. just as the women turned around to see him.

"Is that all..." Asked the Doctor. Al nodded. "Yes, I mean...NO! That's not all, then he said he would never take out the trash! NEVER! I wish he would, so I could go to the carnival!" he began to pretend to cry. The Doctor rolled her eyes.

"Hello there..." Said the women. "I'm...I'm not real..." Ed said, trying to find a way out of this mess. "You...youre not?"

"No." Ed said, standing up. "I'm...A...Ghost." The women looked confused, then smiled. "Are you my two-o-clock? You're a bit early. Have a seat." Ed shook his head. "No, no, you don't understand, I'm dead." He said. The women nodded. "I see, and why would you think that?" She sat down and opened up a note pad. Ed exeted the room calling her a name...or two... "waite!" She shouted after him. all he did was close the door behind him. He had to get back to Al, and find a way to the stone. the obvious methods, were...NOT...working. It was time for a new plan.

He got on the phone with With Winry, who was staying not to far from where they were. he had explained to her the problem, and she agreed, as long as she got to wear something cute.

Ed was sitting in the waiting room, when a busty blond women in a nurses uniform entered the hospital, she was tall and blond, with blue eyes. he jumped when he realized it was Winry. She walked right up to reseption desk, and asked for Alphonse Elric's file. The women at the desk, without question, handed it right to her. With Al's file in hand, she walked over to Ed. he looked red. "Are you ok Ed?" He nodded so hard his head almost fell off. "Ok, well...lets do this thing." She said, waving the file.

Al and the Doctor looked up. "I'm Doctor Rockbell," Winry said, handing over Al's file to the other Doctor. She skimmed through it, and looked up in suspicion. "NANCY!" Shouted Al, "You're here for the ceremony!" Winry looked down at Al, "That's right." She then looked back at the other women. "I'm his primary care doctor, I'll be taking it from here." She said. The women nodded. "Be my guest." Winry laughed. "He's a bit much, isn't he." The other doc nodded. "Yes, but if you got it from here..." she escorted the two to the door.

"That was fast." Ed said, standing up. Winry and Al were approaching him. "And easy. almost to easy. Hey, Brother, I don't think this place is a real hospital." Al said. Ed placed his hands on his hips. "What was your first clue,"

"Well, for starters, that women just handed me his file, no questions asked." said Winry. Ed passed her an unamused look. "Retorical question. I was being sarcastic. Ok, lets get the stone, and get out."

"The stone?" a man said. It was the Hulk who had chased Ed around the hospital. The three kids jumped and screamed. He becond for them to come closer. Winry looked over at Ed, who shook his head profusely. "I think he eats people..." Winry sighed. "I doubt that Ed." she said making her way cautiously to the big man. "Come this way..." He instructed, and Winey began to follow, Al, then...with an exasperated groan, so did Ed. The big man, whose name was Timmy, led them down some stares. the place getting darker with every step. and looking more and more like a dungeon or something. when they got to the bottom of the stairs, Timmy turned to them and said he was sorry, then went to attack Al. Winry screamed when Ed threw her across the room, and then clapped his hands, and ran one across his arm, creating his usual Sharp object. "AAAH! Brother! Whats going on here!" Al shouted. he was holding off the Timmy.

Ed punched Timmy in his side and the big guy turned to him, letting go of Al. "Crappola! I may have made a mistake!" Ed Shouted, Timmy slammed his big hand into Ed's gut, making him fly across the room. "YA THINK!" Shouted Al. Timmy went back to trying to bring Al down. Winry scrambled to Ed, who was unconscious on the ground. "Get up! ED GET-" Ed opened his eyes, he was dazed only for a moment, before he regained composure and jumped to his feet. "Get as far from here as you can Winry!" He shouted. she wasnt paying attention. she was yelling at Timmy to stop.

Everyone did just that, stop. that was when A wrench flew and hit Timmy on his noggin. he turned to her, slowly. "you idiot!" shouted Ed. "Winry! Why would you do that!" shouted Al. "Where do you keep those!" Ed shouted. "Never mind, don't answer that! Crap! Al, look out!" Ed jumped back into action, the two trying to take down the biggest man Winry had ever seen. The boys were amazing, fighting flawlessly together. one after the other, trying to take this thing down. was he a homunculi? no, couldn't be. not here...or was he, and if he was, what was he? Winry ducked with a scream when Ed Flew her way. "Oh no!" She snapped, rushing to him, he was out, and this time, it did not seem that he would come to. she shook him and shook him. But to no avail. Ed was out cold. Al was alone in this fight now. and he was doing all he could to hold him off.

The fight was over when the doctor entered the room. "Timmy, that's enough, drop him." She said. Timmy had Al in a bear hug, and was about to crush him. He did as he was told. "I see you kids found the basement." She said, stepping down off the last step. Ed began to open his eyes. "I figured you would be a problem." Ed sat up. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Well, usually, it only takes Timmy a moment to subdue people, so I can come down here, and help them." She said. Winry stood up. "Help them, or kill them?" She asked. The women laughed. "Both." she said. "You monster!" shouted Al. "Oh, I get it..." Ed started. "Yeah, you're making philosophers stones...yeah, look here..." he pointed down at the floor, indeed, it was a transmutation circle. "Why didn't I see that before." Al hissed. the doctor chuckled in her chest. "you found me out. how disappointing." Ed lunged at her, and got dropped, Winry yelled out for him to get up.

Al gasped when he saw Ed's face, covered in blood. Three long finger like, spikes impaling his shoulder, ribs, and abdomen. Ed projectiled blood from his mouth. "LUST!" Shouted Al. The doctor looked over at him, her face contorted in a wicked smile. "Oh, yes baby!" Her voice, husky and sultry. she pulled her knife fingers from Ed's body, and he fell forward gasping for air. blood began to cover the floor, seeping from his body. "OH GOD! EEEED!" Winry shrieked, rushing to him. "He'll be fine, I can't let such a cute little specimen die, after all." She looked over at Al. "As for her, shes doomed." she said with a giggle. Al lunged for the women, and got grabbed up by Timmy. "Let him go...and get back to digging!" Lust shouted. Timmy dropped Al and slowly made his way to a wall, where he began to punch it, untill it gave way, and crumbled.

before long, he was gone. Ed was gasping for air, and reaching out to grab Lust's leg, she moved away. "Ah, ah, ah... no no." She reached down and grabbed up some of his hair and lifted him up off the floor, bringing him eye level. "Oooh, are you ok? you don't look so good." she then chuckled, when Ed spat up more blood. her tonge protruded from her mouth, and found its way into his mouth, she kissed him deep, then pulled away, licking her lips, now covered in his blood. Winry stood up, and tapped Lust on the shoulder. Lust turned to the blond. "you BITCH!" Winry shouted, and punched the homunculi in the face, dropping the women. "WINRY! HOLLY MOLLEY!" Al shouted. "nobody kissed Ed, but me!" She exclaimed. then helped said boy to his feet. "Now let's get out of here! before she wakes up." Al nodded.

Winry was looking around the room nervously. "Dont worry, this time its a real hospital." said Roy Mustang. They were in Ed's room, he was bandaged up, and out cold. Al was in the waiting room. Winry looked over at Mustang. "you seem to be every where they are. why weren't you there today?" She asked in anger, about to strike Roy. "Easy slugger. I had no idea these two had gone there. If I had, I would have been there. But, to be honest, you guys did a good job, very good job, in fact." Winry tilted her head to one side. "We...did?" Roy nodded. "Yeah, you guys uncovered that stone ring, and we shut it down. Thanks to you kids. you were the real hero here." he said, patting her shoulder. "I..am?!" she let out a short giggle and thrust her fist in the air. "Super Winry!" She exclaimed. Roy laughed. "Yes, well, I'll leave you two alone." he said, nodding his head at a restricting Ed.

Winry looked over at him once Roy had left, then decided to sit on his bed. "Winry?" Ed choked out. "I'm here, Ed." he looked over at her, then smiled. "That was amazing." he said. She looked confused. "What was?" he smiled. "I think you know." he said, sitting up with a wince. "Ed, don't do that!" Ed just laughed. "I don't think I have ever seen you knock someone out before...where did that come from?" she leaned in close to his face. he looked a bit nervous. She planted a deep, passionate kiss, on his lips. "No one kisses you, but me."

The End!

Ed: back from the dead! OH YEAH!

Spoot: I know! damn that was long!

Ed: I like it!

Spoot: thank you to all who have been waiting so well, the block is chopped up! I hope!