The others were not back from the fair yet. Daisy supposed it was because they walked in pairs, arm in arm, laughing and looking at things together, dancing, maybe.
Anna had walked with her and Jane earlier in the evening, but then John Bates had shown up and Anna was no longer interested in keeping the girls company. When Jane wanted to go back, Daisy agreed. It would be better in the kitchen where everything would be unusually quiet and they would be far away from the crowd by choice.
They were not alone; Mrs Patmore and Miss O'Brien were already there, and Lucy who had sprained her ankle and wanted to rest.
Mrs Patmore told a story about some big Christmas dinner decades ago. Miss O'Brien said very little, and Lucy strummed a soft, slow melody on her guitar.
When Jane sighed for maybe the fourth time, Miss O'Brien snapped at her, asking what her problem was.
"Nothing", Jane replied, "I'm just thinking that I'm bored and I want to dance!"
"Me too", Daisy agreed longingly, and Mrs Patmore rolled her eyes.
"Silly girls! Why did you leave the fair, then? I'd dance with you, if I weren't too old and tired. And if I could bring myself to dance like they do these days."
Daisy giggled,
"That would have been fun, Mrs Patmore. But I can't dance either. I don't know how to."
"Alright." Miss O'Brien stood up. "I can show you if you want. Lucy, if you can play something with a rhythm and a beat?"
Lucy began playing a tune that made Daisy's feet want to move. She glanced at Jane. Yes, Jane was just as surprised, a smile was beginning to form on her face. Who knew Sarah O'Brien could dance?
It was not just empty words. She told them the steps were easy; they just had to feel the beat and move their body to it. Her hips swayed in a way that should have been unthinkable, impossible, given her stern personality.
"Come on", she said, "move your feet! Who wants to try first?"
Daisy was still stupefied but Jane was quicker to just roll with it. She jumped up from her chair, let her hair down and began copying the moves. She didn't do such a bad job, in Daisy's opinion.
"No, no", Miss O'Brien corrected her, "you've got to feel what the music wants you to do. Keep your feet steady, mind the heels. Softer hips."
"Oh my", Mrs Patmore mumbled, "I never thought I'd live to see the day…"
Me neither, Daisy thought. Jane and Miss O'Brien together on the floor… Jane was catching on, she tossed her hair over her shoulder, stretched her neck.
Lucy played on, Miss O'Brien nodded her approval, her face as grave and stern as always but her body soft, full of strength, as if empowered by the music. As if her limbs were made of pure fire and her mind kept them under control.
Daisy blushed.
Miss O'Brien moved behind Jane and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Straighten your back and your legs", she said, as if she had a parallel existence as a dance instructor.
Daisy wouldn't put it beyond her, not in that moment when every move she made was larger than Downton Abbey.
"You've got to relax here", she said, "as if you're melting, and you can go wherever the music takes you."
Miss O'Brien's other hand was on Jane's hip, she was standing very close behind her as if they were one body.
"Listen to the music", she said close to Jane's ear, "feel the beat, one, two, three, four…"
Daisy's whole being felt the beat, it was filling up her body with a boiling heat and she could not take her eyes off Miss O'Brien's hands. She wanted them too, on her hips, guiding her through the dance…
Mrs Patmore said something beside her but she didn't understand the meaning of the words.
The two women were dancing together, their bodies close together, hands on shoulders, on waists, they were floating over the floor, Miss O'Brien was leading and Jane followed as well as she could, Miss O'Brien's arms glided from the shoulders all the way to her fingertips.
Daisy kept her eyes fixed on them and it didn't make sense that she was looking at Sarah O'Brien like that, like she was some kind of wonderful and terrifying goddess, but she couldn't stop feeling dizzy as if all blood had left her head, travelling down her body…
And then it was over.
Lucy stopped playing and the dancers' bodies were immediately separated as if nothing but the beat had kept them together.
Daisy thought that the beat might have started it but she wouldn't have been able to let go so easily. It was a wonder, she thought, that Jane could even stand up.
"Oh, wow." Jane laughed and threw herself down on a chair. "That was fun!"
"Well done!" Mrs Patmore sounded delighted. "That was quite a show, you two!"
Jane laughed again and tried to fan herself with her hand. Miss O'Brien offered a quick smile.
"You're next, Daisy, come on!"
Daisy gasped, "Oh no, I can't!"
"Don't you want to?" Miss O'Brien asked. "It's not that hard."
"Try it, it looked like fun!"
That was Mrs Patmore's opinion, and Lucy said she didn't mind playing for as long as they wanted.
"You're silly, Daisy", said Jane. "I can't wait to try these moves with a man!"
Daisy was glad there were no men around, she was glad there was just the five of them there, so that no one else could witness her embarrassment. It was not that she did not want to, but how do you explain that you might want it a little too much?
There was no way Daisy could get out of it without looking like a complete fool. For once she was glad she had a reputation to blush for everything and nothing.
She was not as good at it as Jane. Her feet were too clumsy, her mind was too confused, and they spent a long time just going through the steps.
That was good, because it made her focused on the task, on getting it right, and she almost forgot the weird tension. Lucy played and played, Jane tried to help by beating the time with her foot, and the music almost felt as much a part of her as her breathing.
"Good", said Miss O'Brien, "you're getting the hang of it now."
Daisy glowed with pride.
"Now, what shall we do about those hips? Remember what Jane and I looked like!"
As if Daisy could ever forget…
She tensed up again when Miss O'Brien put her hands on her body to guide her and she stumbled.
"For God's sake, girl!" Her strict teacher's voice was like cold water and it helped her to focus at least a little. "Try to relax…" Miss O'Brien's voice softened. "This dance is supposed to look like passion. Close your eyes if that makes it easier."
Daisy was tingling all over, but closing her eyes did make it a little easier, and she was finding her way back to the rhythm. She tried to think of it as if it all belonged to the dance. The way her breath quickened, the way her hips swayed, the way her nipples tightened, the way her feet moved, the way her hands touched the other body, the way she followed the lead of the music and the touch, it was just perfectly natural.
And wonderful…
Miss O'Brien held her hand, extended her arm and made her swirl. Then she tried to make her bend over backwards, but that became too much and Daisy almost fell.
The older woman straightened her up again and suggested that the lesson perhaps should end there.
Daisy almost gasped for air, she was flustered and couldn't speak, but she smiled. Mrs Patmore praised her efforts and called her a natural, or almost, to which Miss O'Brien sniffed, but not unkindly.
"Aren't you glad now that we left the fair early?"
Jane was calm but enthusiastic – Daisy couldn't believe how she could be so calm, sitting there with a glass of water, cool and composed – and thanked Miss O'Brien and Lucy for the fun. Daisy could only nod and smile, still blushing.
She glanced at the woman who had also sat down at the table. She looked a little warm, and content, not excited, not upset. Miss O'Brien reached for the jug and poured some water into a glass, and then into another. With a small smile she handed one to Daisy, and they drank in silence.
There was a commotion at the door, a group of people walked in. Carson, coming in behind them, hushed at them, and there were giggles.
"Hello", smiled Bates. "What have you girls been doing here all evening?"
"Oh", said Mrs Patmore, "we've had great fun! We have been dancing! It was amazing, you should have been here."
The newcomers all laughed. They did not believe a word she said.
If Daisy hadn't heard her say it, she might not have believed it either, even though she had been there. It seemed an unlikely dream already.
But if it had been a dream, how come her body was still burning everywhere Sarah O'Brien had touched her? How come the vision of Sarah O'Brien's hips swaying in time with the guitar was etched into her memory like it would stay there forever, if it hadn't happened?
Yes, as unlikely as it was, her body knew it had happened.
