Chapter 1

"I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS!" sang an obnoxious voice from the next room. "HERE THEY ARE STANDING IN A ROOOOOW!"

"BIG ONES! SMALL ONES! ONES AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD!" an identical voice yelled, joining in the chorus.

Jessica Baine was deeply regretting teaching that muggle song to her two best friends, Gred and Forge, whoops, Fred and George Weasley. Ever since she had taught it to them, they had sung the song throughout the house at the top of their lungs. She tried to focus on the book in front of her, but it was no good.

"FRED! GEORGE! SHUT UP OR I WILL PERSONALLY HEX YOU INTO NEXT FRIDAY!" she finally bellowed.

The song came nearer. "O! I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF—"

"COCONUT HEADS!" she yelled as the red haired twins entered the room with arms linked. "Do I need to produce a silencing charm?"

"Come on, Jessica, we were only having a bit of fun," George grinned.

"You guys have been having that bit of fun for the past week," sighed Jessica.

"Ah, Jess, when will you learn that the annoyer's work is never done," said Fred, as if to a young child.

"Yes, but you're not supposed to be annoying your best friend!"

"Why? Fred and I annoy each other all the time!" George pointed out.

"You could do that to each other by living," Jessica mumbled.

Fred was adamant. "That's why we're alive, Jess, to annoy others!"

"Yes, but could you limit how much you annoy me in a day?" she pleaded.

"All right, I'd say, we can annoy you for sixteen hours out of a day."

"Well, at least it lets me sleep. I can't even do that around here."

"What can we say? A businessman's job is never done."

"So you are a businessman and an annoyer at the same time?"

"Of course, my dear. Why do you think that our job is to create products that annoy others? Those two straits coincide so beautifully."

A chuckle escaped her lips. She had lost the battle of wits. "All right, guys, but could you stop singing for now?"

They looked at each other with matching smiles on their faces. "Okay."

She looked at the two of them. They turned to her, still smiling. "What?" she asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow.

Fred was the first to jump, with George almost directly after. She gasped and attempted to run, but it was too late. "TICKLE TORTURE!" they screamed together.

"NO!" she cried, but it was drowned out by the laughter bubbling up inside her. The agony continued for two minutes straight but finally, they let up. Jessica gasped for breath, her face red and tear-covered from laughter. The twins stood on either side of their panting friend, smiling at her.

"You (gasp) are the most (gasp) immature (gasp) twenty year olds (gasp) the world has ever (gasp) known!" she screamed as best she could. Her hand was halfway to her wand when a doorbell rang.

"Customers!" the twins exclaimed together and apparated into the next room.

Jessica groaned and stood up, ribs still sore from her thorough tickling. Opening the door, she saw that the customer was in fact Lee Jordan, good friend to the twins. They were talking excitedly about their newest product.

"Guys, you know, you can just open a door. You don't have to apparate through every single wall you need to go through," she said, slightly annoyed.

"But it is so much fun!" George said, handling the product dangerously in his hands as he smiled at Jessica.

"You know Lee, right?" Fred asked.

"Sadly, yes," she commented. She had met Lee many times. Fred had a fascination with the idea that she and Lee would make a cute couple. Lee had no problem, but Jessica could not stand the way he flirted with her all the time.

"Hey, gorgeous," Lee said, with what some girls would assume to be a charming smile.

Every time guys hit on her, Jessica got really uptight and uneasy. She attempted to appear detached. "Hey, Lee. What are you doing here?"

"Just picking up Weasley's new product: the dung swamp," Lee said, looking Jessica over.

"Like I don't know what their newest product is, Lee. I was the main designer."

Lee gave her an impressed look. "I thought you were just the secretary."

Fred stepped in. "She is. She knocked over a bag of dungbombs which were located right next to the portable swamps. They reacted to create a rather remarkably scented bog."

"Fred, you weren't supposed to let that out!" Jessica said, nudging her friend.

"Whoops," Fred said insincerely.

"Needless to say, we rearranged the store, moving the ingredients to separate walls," George said.

"So where's the swamp going to?"

"Hogwarts. My younger brother is going there, and I give these babies to him to sneak in."

Jessica smirked. "The legacy of the Weasleys just cannot leave Hogwarts, can it?"

"Of course not, Jess, what were you thinking?" George said, laughing.

"I was thinking that the professors might like a break."

The three boys snorted. "Never!" the twins said together.

A new customer entered, and the twins left Jessica alone with Lee. Jessica wracked her brain for an excuse to leave Lee, but none came.

"I'll check out then, shall I?" Lee asked her.

"I guess." Jessica headed to the cash register and scanned the price. Lee looked up at her as she went through the process.

He looked at her head, willing her to look up. She did and gave him a Look.

"That'll be eighteen sickles and two knuts," she said, breaking eye contact.

"Don't I get a discount?"

"No," she said, avoiding his eyes.

"All right." Lee dug for the change in his pocket and handed it to her. His hand remained on her's for a brief moment longer than normal, and she moved away deliberately, handing him the canister in a Weasley's Wizard Wheezes bag. Lee looked at her, trying to make eye contact. Not succeeding, he just jumped on to ask her what he had truly come to the store for.

"Hey, Jess, do you think that you and I could go out sometime?"

Jessica looked up and made hard eye contact with Lee. "What?" The shock was evident on her face.

Lee mentally slapped himself. "I was wondering if you could go out sometime with me." No going back now.

"Erm, Lee, I'm not that type of girl. I just don't have time for that right now."

Lee looked down at his feet, picking his bag up. "Well, think about it."

He walked dejectedly out, but Jessica thought that she had imagined the flash of a smile towards Fred. George looked towards Jessica worriedly. She pretended to be distracted, arranging a display of Canary Creams. Fred, however, inched his way closer to her.

"So," he said in Jessica's ear. She jumped and turned quickly, nearly colliding with his nose.

"What, Fred?"

George moved to her other side with an impish grin on his face. "What happened at the counter?" he asked innocently.

"Lee asked me out and I told him that I didn't have time for a relationship right now."

George grinned, but Fred pressed further. "Jessica, how long in a day do you work with us, tops?"

"About 10 hours a day, not including the breaks I spend with you guys and stuff."

"Exactly. How many free days do you get a week?" Fred pushed.

"Two."

"Do you ever use them?"

Jessica hung her head. "I use Sunday, but guys, what would I even do with that extra day? Where would I go?"

"On a date with Lee, where else?" Fred said, pleased with himself.

"I am not going on a date with Lee."

"Yes you are. I am going to pay you a normal day's work for going on a date with Lee. How's that?"

"Look, guys, I don't even like Lee. Why would I go on a date with someone I don't like?"

"Well, then, who do you like?" George asked, a little too quickly.

"No one."

Fred snorted. "We will try to believe you."

"Well, it is true!"

"Riiight," George scoffed.

"You guys are hopeless!"

"No, we just don't believe you."

"Honestly. You guys have known me for two years, and you still don't know when I'm telling the truth?"

"Nope," Fred answered promptly.

"So, guys, if I say yes to a date with Lee, you will immediately assume that I like him. But if I say no, you will just keep pestering me. I guess I should choose the lesser of two evils and go on the date."

Fred clapped. "Good choice. I don't think he's left Diagon Alley yet." He pushed Jessica towards the door.

"Guys!"

"Go do it!"

"What?"

"Go!" Fred said, smiling.

"All right, guys, all right, let me go!" She looked back at them as she opened the door. "Don't you dare try those Extendable Ears or attempt to follow me!"

The mischievous looks on the twins' faces disappeared.