The Doctor sunk into his chair, gripping Rose's jacket in his hands. Her smell still lingered, woven in the soft cotton. As he sighed the TARDIS came to life, throwing him on the floor.

"What the blazes is going on?!" The Doctor yelled, gripping the console for dear life. When the machine came to a halt the Doctor sprung up, fuming. He was in no mood to sightsee, all he wanted to do was mope.

But the TARDIS had other plans. It wined and moaned until the Doctor gave in, "Fine you bloody machine! I'm leaving, I'm leaving!"

When he opened the door he expected to see frozen planets or a sea made of stars but he was greeted with neither. What he was looking at was an old, bleak study with the most hideous furniture he'd ever laid eyes on. Pulling out his glasses he study the shelves that were filled with the strangest looking items. There was everything from eyeballs to frog's feet in the bottles that sat on the shelves. He ran his hand through his hair, completely puzzled.

"What are you doing down here?"

The Doctor jumped. Turning, he met the eyes of an angry looking man. He was clad in all black save for a green sash with snakes embroidered along the edges. His face was rather ugly and crooked, which matched his sour expression.

"You have no right to be down here!" The man barked.

Studying him a little more the Doctor's eyes lit up.

"No…" he gasped. The man crossed his arms and stood his ground, seeming to grow angrier as the seconds pasted. The Doctor slid into his space so that their faces where almost touching. "You're Severus Snape!" he chirped.

"Professor Snape."

"Yes, yes Professor Snape! I can't believe she took me here! How is that possible…" The Doctor rambled on and on, trying to wrap his mind around how his TARDIS could have sent him to a fictional place.

"I don't know what you're plotting but no one is allowed in my study but me."

The Doctor looked up at him with eyes full of excitement. "Oh yes, I know Professor." He grinned. It strangely felt good for someone to assume he was young enough to be a student.

Snape backed up, obviously uncomfortable with the closeness. But the Doctor persisted to get into his bubble.

Severus Snape had always been his favorite character. They had both lost their loved ones and grew up alone.

The sad memories of the potion master brought back the nasty thoughts of Rose, with her pretty blond hair and big smile. Her laugher filled his ears and warmed his body. His heart began to race like he'd been running a marathon. He needed to get rid of the laughter, of Rose. It hurt so much.

The Doctor groped the air, just wanting to forget. His hands found Snape's robes, which he clung to for dear life. They smelled of smoke and left a bad taste in his mouth. Snape hissed, trying to shake the pinned striped man off.

"Get your hands off me!" He yelled, pushing at the Doctor's chest. But it did not have the effect the potions master wanted. The feeling left the Doctor feeling fuzzy and the memory of Rose fizzled.

He needed more.

The Doctor tried to get the upper hand but the professor was too strong. He pinned the Doctor against his desk, his brows furrowed.

"Who the hell are you?" Snape barked.

"I'm the Doctor!"

"Doctor who?"

"Oh does it really matter?" The Doctor gasped. "Yes I think it does…" Snape growled. The Doctor didn't know how to explain how he'd traveled through space and time to end up in this very room. And besides, his mind was occupied with other things.

"I know all about you professor." The Doctor cooed. "I know that you were a Death Eater, I know that you went cavern, I know that you are in love with Lily Potter."

Snape's eyes burned with anger and his grasp began to hurt. "How…"

The Doctor wiggled out of the potions masters grasp and wound his hands through his greasy hair. He pulled Snape down so that their lips crashed together awkwardly. Snape yelled against his mouth but the Doctor just kept kissing him tell the yelling became wines. The Doctor pushed and pulled, trying to close the space between them but Snape would not have any of it. He tried to pull his head away and when that didn't work he attempted to push the Doctor off him.

The Doctor didn't stop though. Rose's laughter was fading and the feeling of someone's lips against his own was good. He'd never had the chance to properly kiss Rose.

"I know that you hate Harry because he reminds you that Lily chose James over you…" The Doctor whispered against Snape's mouth.

"H-how?"

The Doctor shushed him with more kisses. Eventually Snape relaxed under his grasp and let the Doctor enhance the kiss. They continued this under the bleak light of the study room until Snape began to mumble against the Doctor's lips.

"Who…" he begged.

The Doctor pulled away and looked Snape in the eyes. The man was all corners. He pulled his glasses off and said coolly, "I'm nobody."

With that the Doctor pushed Snape onto the closest couch and straddled him. The potions master didn't resist this time, but welcomed the warm kisses the Doctor planted against his skin. The song "The Bad Touch" came to mind as the Doctor kissed down his collar.

The Doctor hummed the song in his head as he peeled the layers of clothing off his favorite fictional character. Feeling in charge the Doctor leaned against Snape's ear and whispered "Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip, so show me yours I'll show you mine…"

Snape bit his lip in frustration as he pulled the Doctor in for another sloppy kiss.

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

The door to Snape's study opened with a slow, agonizing creek. In popped Harry, looking more annoyed then usual. He hated these personal lessons, even if they would stop Voldemort from entering his brain. That good for nothing Slytherin was never understanding of what Harry was going through.

"Professor, I'm here for my…"

Harry stopped at the entering, hearing loud moaning coming from Snape's study. Curiosity got the best of him so he crept closer inside. The noise got louder as he made his way in and he could almost make out a few words.

"Professor…" Harry dared to ask.

But when he was well inside he saw something he would never forget. It would not only scare the young Gryffindor but leave him with a horrible fear when confronted with anything remotely sexual.

Snape and some strange man with spikey brown hair were tangled together on one of the couches Harry would sit on for lessons, completely naked. Their eyes met his and they tried unsuccessfully to untangle themselves.

Harry let out an ear-shattering scream and ran out as fast as his legs would let him.

Snape looked from where Harry was to the Doctor. He could care less what that brat thought of him. Actually it left a small smile on his face, thinking he'd finally made Harry really scared.

When both of them had cleaned themselves and redressed the Doctor wined his arms around Snape's waist.

"Come with me…" he asked.

"What the hell are you getting on?" Snape barked.

"You can't go out now. Harry would have told everyone of what he saw by now…"

The potions master looked at the Doctor in horror. "How do you know about the Potter boy?"

"So many questions…" the Doctor hummed. "All can be awnsered if you follow me into this blue box."

Snape had not even noticed the police box sitting in the corner of his study. He raised an eyebrow to the brunet, thinking this as a joke. But then again, he had just slept with a stranger.

The Doctor smiled and kissed the potion masters neck happily.

"Just a peak…" Snape muttered.

With that the two stepped inside the TARDIS and went on adventures and flew rainbow unicorns through fields of shooting stars and tweeted all there friends of their awesome adventures so they would all be really jelly and went back in time to prank James and flashed aliens on Jupiter and kissed under the magical skies of the milky way and skipped through fields of burning flowers and had sexy sex everyday.

THE END.