Prologue…
It was a peaceful time. The leaves swayed gently in the warm breeze; forest still tucked away in quiet slumber. And in the tranquil silence of the waxing dawn, all waited. Calmly, patiently and—
"Don't do it."
"What, are you joking? This is the perfect opportunity to do this—"
"I said, no."
"Oh come on! This'll be so much fun!"
"You do that and I'll smash your face in."
"Like I'd let you—!"
"Put your hand down! We've all been in danger ever since you learned that thing!"
"How can you say that! As if your thing isn't as destructive as well!"
The quiet planning that had gone so well a few minutes ago was scaling into another argument. But that was the least of either boys' concerns. "That's not the point." The reply came rather swiftly. "You'll blow our cover. We'll think of another way to smoke them out."
"No way. This is the fastest method—"
"—and also the dumbest—"
"—would you stop interrupting me, teme! It's perfectly safe! I can even juggle three of them—wah!"
"When did this happen?"
"…uh. Several times…"
A loud smack echoed through the forest.
Naruto rubbed the back of his head with a wince and shot the other an irritated look. Always hitting him and bullying him around like that. God, how old were they, already? Being civil didn't take that much of an effort. Always making a racket about one thing or another, there was only so much that he can take. He was going straight to the Hokage once this was over with and demand that he be paired with a more competent partner.
"What are you mumbling about now?"
He eyed the taller youth and sniffed. Figures. Can't even pick up an obvious hint. And just when he was about to shoot out another comeback, blue eyes dropped down to focus on a previously unknown detail, one that was rapidly stealing his attention away like the way how miso ramen called to him after a long day's mission.
"Oi, you have something on your pants."
A bored look. "Right, like I'm going to fall for a trick like that."
"No, I'm serious. Wipe it off! It's distracting!"
"Mind your own business, idiot…hey—don't touch me!"
Maybe because he was paying much more attention than he should have, or that he was leaning just a bit too close, but it was amazingly simple to just let everything melt away. Naruto hardly anticipated the hard shove and promptly lost his balance. One hand gracelessly snagged a green jounin collar, while the other hand was jerked back and over, sending that hazardous ball of swirling energy off in some unknown trajectory. The rasengan sailed high in a perfect arc, landed smack middle into that very wooden cabin they were ordered to infiltrate, exploded it violently upon contact, before pulverizing the vicinity of all that was holy and pure.
Wide eyes stared at the bodies littered around the crater of sawdust and splinters, then at each other.
"Er…whoops?"
"—Naruto!"
Summary: Life is filled with surprises. Some are pleasant, others are not. Some are happy, while others are sad. But for a certain Uchiha Sasuke, it came in only one form…
Disclaimer: naruto and co. belongs to kishimoto masashi.
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a sasunaru fic, Duplex Signal by purple jellybean hoarder
chapter one: the problem with fishcakes
dedicated to rannie-chan, with love (heart!)
My name is Naruto and I am sexually frustrated.
Whoops. Did I scare you? Did you leap off your seat as you are reading this and yelled: 'tis not true? Paled in horror? Got all worried about foxboy getting some? Alright, no need to get so excited. Let's try again.
My name is Naruto and I am sexually deprived.
There. That was easier to accept now, wasn't it? Much easier to understand. Not too absurd and shocking for the fragile heart. But wait, there's more.
My name is Naruto and I get turned on whenever I see a pair of hot pants.
Ok. By now you are probably either hooting in laughter or gagging at the image of me drooling over a piece of fabric. That'd make a pretty picture now, wouldn't it? The future Hokage getting all horny whenever he sees a nice pair of pants. I mean, what kind of idiot would do that?
Well, I guess there are always exceptions.
Sorry.
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Naruto slurped loudly, drinking up that wonderful soup before setting it down in front of him. He let out a contented sigh and licked his lips. Nothing felt better than sitting down and eating his favorite food in the whole wide world at his favorite ramen stand, blissfully letting his troubles slide away…
Wait a minute.
"When the hell did you get here, you bastard!" He hollered at the other individual sitting on the far side of the stand.
Annoyed eyes looked up. "I was here before you came."
Oh.
He crossed his arms with a little frown, blue eyes looking up into the dark night. He didn't notice Sasuke until his fourth bowl? Damn, he must be slipping badly.
"Well," Naruto dawdled, thinking fast. "Well… You're lying." And grinned.
He watched the other slumped a bit, as if he was expecting a different kind of answer but got really disappointed with the result. Sasuke turned back to his half finished bowl of ramen, setting about doing on what he had just abandoned.
Which naturally, got Naruto annoyed.
"Hey! Teme! I was talking to you!" He looked around the counter with question, before taking one of his chopsticks and whipped it over. Sasuke brought up his left hand up in a swift motion and easily caught the thin wooden stick deftly between two fingers. He calmly set it down next to him, not even sparing the blond a glance.
Damn bastard.
Naruto huffed in frustration and crossed his arms. He wheeled around in his seat to consider the given situation. He always had better things to do, but nothing could be more pressing than to piss a certain someone off.
This called for another tactic.
"Ya know, Sasuke," Naruto spoke in a lazy voice, "if it weren't for what happened today, I would never have known how completely ballistic someone can get." He pointedly ignored the icy glare and snickered. "You should have seen the face you made! Panicking so much—I told you I got everything under control."
An incredulous snort.
"Hey! Everything turned out fine, didn't it? Seriously, you were agonizing over nothing." Although, though Naruto with an inward shudder, it was just pure luck that the map was kept in an underground safe. But there was no way in hell that he'll admit that. Better go onto a safer topic.
"Anyway," he went on a little bit louder, "you know what your problem is? You're an uptight shithead. You're so grouchy and tactless that you end up being a bigger asshole than what you already are. Why, from the moment we stepped foot into that village, all you done was to scare off all those pretty ladies and make me look so bad—"
"Is that why you don't want to work with me anymore?"
Naruto nearly knocked over his ramen bowl. "Wa—what?"
"Stop acting dumb. I knew it was you."
"Listen, I have no idea what you're—"
"Cut the bull, Naruto. Hokage-sama called me an hour ago and assigned me another partner."
"Wait, what on earth does that have to do with me!" He cried, getting more agitated by the second. Oh God, he wasn't ready for this yet!
"Besides the fact that you started this?" Angry eyes bored into his. "Don't think that you'll get away with it—"
"What? Hey, everyone's practically dying to be partnered with the great Uchiha Sasuke, I don't see what the big problem is here —"
"—I'll beat you so badly that you won't be able to recognize your own face—"
"—and then Tsunade-baba'll lump poor me with someone who'll hate me and make fun of me and—" Naruto stopped in mid-rant when Sasuke banged his fist onto the counter. He looked up and realized for the first time how quietly Sasuke had walked over, and how close he had managed to creep up to him.
"You got Hyuuga Neji," came the flat reply.
Shit. And Naruto, for once, could not think of anything to say.
"You ditched me, Naruto." The accusation sounded so harsh that Naruto couldn't help but wince. "How dare you abandon a fellow teammate!"
"Wa—hey, stop jumping into conclusions, dammit! You don't know anything!" He was dimly aware of how his voice was scaling off into some girly pitch but couldn't find the energy to bring it down. "You're the one who's always pushing me away!"
"That's because you're an idiot!"
"You see! That's exactly the kind of attitude I'm talking about! Bossing me around and calling me all sorts of degrading names—" he snapped his mouth shut when Sasuke slammed one hand onto the counter, then another onto the wall behind him. He leaned in so close that Naruto was vaguely reminded of how a wolf circles in for a kill.
"I mean, usuratonkachi," he growled lowly, "that you sure had some nerve to touch me back on that mission."
What? Mission? Touching?
"If you want to feel me up so badly, at least give me a better warning the next time around!"
-----to be continued
This is just a little pilot project I thought I'll take a shot at. I've loved sasunaru for the longest time… well, maybe not as long as fujiryo, but I love them just the same! A lighter fic, I hope. Support me…? Somebody?