Bart sat alone in his room with the lights off.
As his family was downstairs, enjoying Christmas programming, he sat on a chair, facing his window, watching the gentle snowfall coming from the night sky. He didn't do anything wrong, as he usually did near the holidays, however, he just wanted to be alone, in his dark room and his door shut.
Usually, he would enjoy the company of his family, his friends, having a loving home to be in. Something was off. He didn't know what was wrong, he just wanted to be alone, with his thoughts.
There was a knock on the door.
"Bart?"
He didn't answer to the voice on the other side but the door opened.
"Bart, we're watching the Itchy and Scratchy Christmas Special downstairs. Aren't you coming downstairs to watch?"
Bart didn't answer, only looking outside at the winter environment. Lisa walked to her brother.
"Bart, are you okay?" No answer. She stood beside her brother.
"I don't know." He answered, looking at his sister. "I would enjoy days like these but I just feel...empty."
"How long have you felt like this?" Lisa asked, worried.
"For a few days," he answered, sadly. "I just don't know what wrong with me. I just want to be alone."
"I hate say overused phrases," Lisa said. "But no one should be alone on Christmas. You have people who care for you."
Bart looked glumly at his window. "I know. But sometimes I don't know where I am. Sometimes I feel that I'm not doing enough. I feel that I'm letting people down, no matter what I do."
"Everybody has that feeling," his sister assured him. "Dad works at a job he doesn't like, Mom feels that she can do more than stay in the house all day, Maggie is still young and blissful so she doesn't have to worry about this for now. Grandpa is depressed that he'll die on day."
"What about you?"
"I feel that no one fully understands who I am and want to be. I want to do something that would change the world for the better one day. But, people see me as a girl who has her hopes too high, that she'll crash and burn. I ignore the people who say I'm an overachiever but I just want to succeed in my life. I stay up at night, wondering if I'll succeed at life."
"But you are smart." Bart told her. "You know what you want in life. I'm hitting a brick wall. I see people doing something that have an impact on society, something that can change the world."
"Everyone has that feeling," Lisa said. "I know people personally who have moved on to bigger and better things. And, though I feel happy for them, I feel jealously and regret. It's like I never do enough to reach where they are. However, I have to take it one day at a time, no matter how painful it is."
"I don't know how to deal with this." Bart told her. "It hurts so much."
"Even the happiest person is depressed a few times in their life." Lisa sighed. "The smartest person may be celebrated for their achievements but, when they're alone with their thoughts, they don't know what to do next and they feel that they don't know what to do when time goes on. The future is unwritten, no matter who or what says otherwise."
"I just don't know what to do anymore." Bart buried his head into his hands. "I feel like a total screw-up."
Lisa went behind him and hugged him. "You're not a screw up, you just haven't found who you are, yet. You're just depressed. You just stopped and realized where you are and where everyone else is and you don't think you're good enough. It's okay. That's life."
Bart still had his head buried in his hands, not wanting his sister to see a tear come down his face.
"I wake up wondering who I am. I hate that feeling. I hate who I am."
"It's okay." Lisa hugged him tighter. "I still love you."
He couldn't help it.
Bart started to cry.
"I know." Lisa whispered in his ear. "Merry Christmas."
Without a word, he stood up and hugged his sister back.
Time stood still for them as the snow gently fell from the night sky.
Sorry if this isn't what you thought it would be. I made this kind of depressing story for Christmas. This is for anyone who is depressed. Merry Christmas, have a happy new year and love each other.
