Espio's Dinner Party
Espio the Chameleon was the kind of guy who everyone knew knew everything about everything there was to ninjas and the martial arts. In addition, Espio new quite a thing or two about caring and sharing. Espio was a well-mannered and vividly open-minded individual. He was compassionate about pretty much anyone's point of view. He was respected by many as a leader who could set the best examples that everyone should heed. Yup, Espio was what you'd call a Nobel with no nomination. He rightfully deserved the recognition, but never received it from the big guys. Despite all this, Espio lived a humble life and continue to show his kind consideration for others and exude his love of life.
One day, Espio had a tres fantastique idea. "A dinner party would be my roommate's knees!" he exclaimed. He hurried into the kitchen where his fellow detective co-workers Vector the Crocodile and Charmy Bee we lounging. "Listen up, lads! Dinner Party on the 17th!"
"No," grumbled Vector as he finished latching a package of doughnuts on each tooth. He took one big bite and swallowed the sweets whole like the green glutton he was. "Espio, I can't let you do that."
"Yeah, your parties are smelly and dumb," said Charmy.
"Are you opposing my proposition?" said Espio a tad offended.
Vector burped like a vicious can of tuna and scratched the back of his head. "No way, Espio. The bee tells no lies. Last time you wanted a party here at HQ you invited all those nerds from the book club."
"UM! Actually they were not from the book club, they were from my ancient text club where we examine how culture influences word structure in the form of prose."
"Which is another word for 'stupid'," whined Charmy.
"UM! Actually it is a highly intelligent pursuit in which our current eco-system has developed from!"
"Stop yellin'. I'm hungry and need a good sandwich," roared Vector. He was still starving despite the dozens of tooth rings he just inhaled.
"Ooh, Vex! Let's go to Taco Bell!" cheered Charmy.
"NOOOO!" screamed Espio as he banged the table with his fist. "Do you have any idea what goes into that meat! In other words, don't eat that kind of foul disregard of our kind! Historical records show that overexposure to such may lead to a chemical imbalance in our future society.
"Espio, fast food ain't goin' nowhere. It pretty much is da foocha society," Vector belched up.
"I wanna Dorito Loco!" squealed Charmy.
"UUUUMMMMM!" interrupted Espio. "Charmy, you do know that the word 'loco' means 'crazy' and some may find it offensive that you would call something 'crazy'."
"Espio, shut up."
"UUUMMMM!"
"Whoa! Time out, boys!" said Vector as he jumped up and broke up the argument. "Let's make an agreement!" He turned to Espio. "Espio, your parties are calm and collected like watchin' paint dry. How's 'bouts me and the B-boy head on down to Taco Bell with some buds like Knux and we'll leave you alone tonight for your dinner party?"
"Tonight? He can't get fully ready for tonight. He's gotta cook and clean and do other dumb responsible things like that…" said Charmy.
"Despite your disparaging labels, Vector, and also for your lack of digestive sanitation, I respect your decision. I'll make a few calls over to the All View club and see if my acquaintances can make it over for a bite to eat."
"Yeah, whip up a green smoothie and a bowl of Kashi, why doncha?" said Charmy.
"And don't forget your collard greens!" said Vector.
"UUUUMMMM!" Espio interrupted again. "Are you assuming that I am collard greens?"
"He said 'your', not 'you're', moron," said Charmy. Vector was thoroughly confused.
"UM! Well, I am not a moron! In fact, I took an IQ test and found that I am in a respectable group on par with many other like-minded persons."
"UM! Espio, I'm offended that you made a golf reference…" said Charmy.
"UUUMMM! It was not a golf reference! The phrase 'on par with' dates back to…"
"ALL RiGHT, BOYS!" chimed in Vector. "I think it's time we all get ourselves some delish and nutrish, amiright?"
"Whatever gets me away from him for a few hours…" grumbled Charmy.
"UUUUMMMM!" With that, Charmy and Vector bolted out the door and straight to Taco Bell. Espio smiled as he watched his two mates walk off to their accursed destination. "Well, I never!" he cried aloud. He walked over fashionably to the phone and dialed the numbers of his chaps from the All View club. He then prepared a big salad and made a jug of organic, non-lactose milkshake goodness. Espio then took a walk into the living room and set the snacks on the coffee table. He turned on the television and flipped to some nice cable news. He muted the television and popped his ipod into his Bose stereo system. He set his playlist to some jazzy woodwind picks and settled down on the sofa and awaited the good times.
Meanwhile, at Taco Bell, Vector choked on a stool and Charmy had to dive into his gullet and save him. Charmy was hailed as a hero and awarded a Nobel Prize. "I just wanna thank Vex's throat, Taco Bell, and Mr. Bear. I believe in hearts and other organs. If I could have one car, it'd be a monster truck so I could run over Espio's ugly Prius. Oh, and I'd like to thank honey because it tastes like coolness. Thank you, everyone! It's an honor!"
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