A/N: Kinda jumps around in the timeline(?), but should be easy to follow. Just a little warning. Also, this is just a little angst write-up to practice. And realistically, I know you can't go all the way to the gate, but it's a thing in stories. Let's just go with it :D
Hope you enjoy!
Not at all proofread :)
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
"Are you sure you don't need my help? I can ask Yukiho-chan to watch the store today."
"Thank you, Honoka-chan, but I'm okay. I have a lot of stuff I want to look through myself, and I don't want to burden you. Don't worry though! I'll be okay."
"Hehe, okay. Just call me again or send me a text when you're ready for me to pick you up."
"Okay."
"Bye, Kotori-chan. Love you."
"I love you too, Honoka-chan."
When she hung up the phone, I flopped on my bed with a content sigh before grabbing my favorite pillow and squealing into it. I rolled back and forth around on my bed, not able to contain my excitement and euphoria. I felt like I was a sixteen year old girl again falling in love for the first time, and I have yet to experience a feeling that could top that.
Yeah, this is what this was.
There was always something about Honoka-chan that drew me towards her, and I could never explain it. Whenever she spoke, I was captured by her voice. Whenever she smiled, I smiled with her. Whenever she held my hand or hugged me, my heart would start racing. And when we first became school idols back in high school, I could never tear my eyes away from her. It wasn't until I came clean to and consulted with my other, more intelligent, childhood friend that I figured out what all these feelings were.
"Then you are in love with her, no?"
Love-I loved Honoka-chan.
Correction.
I love Honoka-chan.
She is just a shining ball of joy in my life; she always has been. And now, after dating for almost two years, she's asked me to move in with her.
I was digging through my closet as I was picking out what I needed and didn't, when I found a box of things I saved from high school. Upon opening it, I saw a frame, containing probably the last photo we took together as μ's. It brought back so many memories of my high school career, specifically my second year. The struggles and success of it all, and the experience itself was a whole other ride that I threw myself into alongside the ups and downs of high school. But I never regretted it.
Looking through the box some more, I found a picture of just Honoka-chan and me after we got our diplomas. I smiled even wider, because this was the same day Honoka-chan first confessed to me, and we became a couple. It was a special day, indeed.
The kind of special that held both the happiest memories I've had from that time, as well as the worst.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Honoka-chan and I came back outside, hand in hand, and we saw the rest of the girls waiting for us, congratulating us. Even Eli-chan, Nozomi-chan, and Nico-chan were here! Honoka-chan got glomped by Rin-chan and Nozomi-chan, who were congratulating her on finally confessing to me, while Hanayo-chan was attempting to talk to Rin-chan so she would let Honoka-chan breathe a little. Maki-chan and Nico-chan smiled from their position off to the side, trying to remain as nonchalant as they could, as usual, while Eli-chan approached with a wide smile.
"So, how does it feel?"
"How does what feel? There is just too much going on today."
"Well, then, everything. Graduating from high school, going to university, being with Honoka now, how is it all?"
"It… it's all so much." she laughed with fond eyes. I didn't realize how much I missed the third years until now-well, I guess I can't call them third years anymore.
"It is, isn't it?" I nodded, laughing and smiling with her.
We talked a bit more about her life at university when I scanned the group one more time and realized my blue-haired friend was missing. I frowned, and Eli-chan seemed to catch that. She could be dense at times, but Eli-chan always noticed when things were amiss.
"Something wrong, Kotori?" from the corner of my vision, I noticed Nozomi-chan's ever observant eyes glance over in our direction as she continued her conversation with Honoka-chan.
"Yeah, where's Umi-chan?"
Eli-chan looked completely surprised and even stuttered a bit before speaking. Nozomi-chan stopped mid-sentence, causing Honoka-chan to look over as well.
"She… she didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what…?"
"She's moving to Europe today."
"Wh-"
"What?!" I turned around quickly to see that Honoka-chan was just as confused as I was. Everyone else just looked at us worriedly, even Maki-chan and Nico-chan.
"Did you all know about this?" they all looked at one another and nodded their heads.
"When did she tell you?!" Honoka-chan practically screamed, demanding an answer from any of the six before us.
"About two weeks ago. She said she would leave to the airport right after the graduation ceremony." Nico-chan said, clearly just as confused as the rest of us were, but for a different reason than Honoka-chan and me.
"Then," I started. "We have to go after her!" they all nodded, and we quickly contacted our parents to see which of them could take us to the airport.
Umi-chan helped Honoka-chan stop me when I was leaving to Europe last year. If it weren't for Umi-chan, Honoka-chan and I may have never happened! I owed her this happiness of mine, so I have to stop her now!
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
"Ne, Umi-chan," I called to her one day.
"Yes?" she responded quickly, immediately tearing her eyes away from the target before her and giving me all her attention.
"How did you know that I was… you know," I could feel the blood rising into my cheeks, and I hoped that my face wasn't too red. "In love with Honoka-chan." I peered up at her to see her stare towards the ground for a moment with an unreadable expression before she nocked the arrow she had in her hand and faced the target once more. She pulled the string back, and I found myself captured by her beautiful form again. Umi-chan had all the potential to be a star archer, but she never expressed any desire to take this farther than the floor of her family's dojo or school's hall. I remember when we were young, Honoka-chan and I would sit near the entrance to the archery hall at her parents' dojo and just watch Umi-chan hit bullseye after bullseye.
"There are some things you learn from observation, and there are some things you know from experience." Umi-chan muttered while holding her form steadily. There was not a tremble in her arms or stance, and I wondered in the back of my mind how long Umi-chan had to train in order to keep herself from shaking from the tension of the string.
There were some things about Umi-chan that I, despite our apparent closeness, could never figure out about my blue-haired childhood friend. Not that she would ever tell me anyway.
"Have you fallen in love with anyone before, Umi-chan?" Umi-chan never talked about love or relationships, and was usually the first in our group to immediately call something out for being "shameless", but I had never actually asked Umi-chan about it before. After all, she and Maki-chan were somehow able to create the lyrics to some of our more… intimate songs, and I doubt Maki-chan had any more experience than Umi-chan did, if either of them had any experience at all. Plus, as our designated lyricist, Umi-chan had to have contributed to the lyrics the most out of the two of them, so she must have some ideas.
Umi-chan was silent for a few moments, and I was going to open my mouth to call out to her in case she didn't hear me. But before I could do so, Umi-chan released the arrow she had, sending it flying all that distance towards the worn target. Even Umi-chan's release form was stunning to see, and my eyes were distracted for a moment as I stared at her unwavering figure. I then turned my attention to the target, and got a surprise.
"Yes, I have."
The arrow didn't even land.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Flight 1003 to London is now boarding. Please proceed to the Gate.
We all looked at one another and shouted, "There!" before running after Maki-chan, who read the screen that had all the flight and gate numbers and called us to follow her. We were all shouting "Excuse me!" and "Sorry!" to other people as we raced passed them, hoping to get to our friend before it was too late.
"Dang it Umi-chan! Why didn't you tell us?" was all that was going through my head as I bumped into person after person with apologies rolling off the tip of my tongue.
Finally arriving at the gate, we all began to look around for our blue-haired companion. I looked around frantically, hoping she hadn't boarded yet. I tried to find any glimpse of a shade of blue, but every time I did a double-take, it turned out to be a completely different person. There were just too many people, and even if I wasn't as short as Rin-chan or Nico-chan (don't tell Nico-chan I said that!), I still couldn't see over much taller backs and shoulders. The to-be passengers were relentless in their passing, and the eight of us constantly got pushed around as she stood around trying to find Umi-chan.
"Ah! There!" Rin-chan started sprinting towards Umi-chan's designated gate. The empty seating area frightened me, and the dread that crept up as I got closer to the receptionist's desk washed over my whole body when Rin-chan turned around and shook her head.
"What…" I heard Honoka-chan say defeatedly. I turned to look at her and was reminded of the fight she and Umi-chan had in high school. To think it would once again be Umi-chan who would make Honoka-chan's face turn so sad and frustrated.
"Ah! Kotori-chan! Honoka-chan!" Rin-chan yelled, and I felt hope blossom when I saw two envelopes in Rin-chan's outstretched hand. Honoka-chan met her halfway and practically swiped the orange and green envelopes away before shoving the green one into my hands and tearing the orange one open. I was still trying to process the moment when Honoka-chan fell to her knees and cried.
"Oi, Honoka!" Nico-chan's voice came blaring out first. She and Maki-chan were the first to come to my lover's aid, followed quickly by Eli-chan and Nozomi-chan. Rin and Hanayo stood just to the side, holding one another with concerned looks plastered on both of their faces.
"I-It's all my f-fault." I heard Honoka-chan say between gasps. "I-If i-it weren't f-for me, Umi-chan would-" she mumbled out before crying again. Nozomi-chan was quick to engulf her in a hug, and her hands wrapped around Nozomi-chan's figure, causing the crumbled orange letter to fall to the ground. I reached down to pick it up, tenderly pulling it apart, afraid that if I was too quick, the feelings Umi-chan had entrusted to pen and paper would be lost.
"I hope you treat her well."
That was it. Just that single sentence was written in Umi-chan's practiced calligraphy, and with her signature signed undeniably just below it. The short phrase confused me, and I was then worried that this was all she had left for us. With that fear now pumping through my bloodstream, I unconsciously mirrored my lover, practically tearing apart the green envelope to reveal a letter-a proper letter. Well, to be exact, a proper letter written by Umi-chan. In all my years of knowing her, I had never known Umi-chan to be short with her words, especially if they were to be written down. So the page-length of the letter before me was much more familiar, but the words within it certainly were not.
"Dear Kotori, my sweet Kotori.
Ah, but I suppose it is improper of me to call you such as you belong to another, so please forgive my negligence, for my heart can no longer contain the emotions I yearn to share with you.
As you have told me time and again, with smiles that could light the whole world, I am not short with words. How can I, especially with you, even ponder the idea of sharing less than a million words with you? I could never, for my mind knows that you could never feel satisfied within these stiff arms of mine, yet my heart screams for you, and you alone, so the words just keep tumbling out of my trembling lips. But despite the millions of words I shared with you, I was never able to convey the feelings I have for you. In fact, the thought of writing it here and letting you read this is tough in itself, but I have found solace in the probability that you would not come for me anyway.
Oh what a selfish thought that is. To think that I have spent an uncountable amount of years desiring to treat you as nothing but a princess, yet I am here acting like a damsel waiting for her prince to come and rescue her.
I digress, for this extended metaphor appears to be acting as a distraction so my hands do not have to consciously write those three words to you.
I love you. I love you, Kotori. I love you so much that it hurts to see you in the arms of another, and my heart can no longer bear the weight I have piled atop its fragile state. So my feet have taken me elsewhere-an elsewhere that will allow me to breathe the fresh air of a new start and hope that it will heal the wounds I have left open for far too long.
I do not yet know if I will return. Even if I did, I am not sure if I would tell you in the first place, for I am much too afraid of opening wounds that may or may not heal in the time I spend away for you. If the day comes that you will welcome me again with a smile, that is all I will ask for. But if that day never does come, then I hope you live on with the knowledge of my love and care for both you and Honoka.
I hope she treats you well, Kotori. For I know in my whole being that I would if I were permitted to hold you within these stiff arms of mine."
I didn't realize till the letter was dotted with wet stains that I noticed the tears that have found their way down my cheeks. I wiped them quickly, trying to ignore the concerned glances I received from everyone who wasn't solely focused on Honoka-chan.
It wasn't until one of the employees came to ask us what was wrong that we collected ourselves and slumped out of the airport in defeat. We weren't able to stop Umi-chan; we weren't even able to see her off! As her childhood friend, my heart ached at the thought of being separated from the blue-haired girl I have come to consider family. But as one of her best friends, my mind raced frantically for any signs of Umi-chan's feelings for me. It hurt me deep down that I never noticed anything about her, but maybe Umi-chan just didn't want me to know, and that was why I could never catch a glimpse of what really lay underneath.
My mom wasn't home yet, and after Maki-chan's chauffeur dropped Honoka-chan and me off at my house, Honoka-chan ran up the stairs, buried her face into my pillow, and loudly cried. I took slow steps towards my room, afraid of what was to come, and what I had to face. It was rare for Honoka-chan to cry like this, and despite her awkwardness with physical interactions, Umi-chan was always the one who knew how to calm us down during times like these (though she would often dissolve into tears right along with us). As soon as I passed the boundary into my space, Honoka-chan seemed to have sensed my presence, and sat up, bright blue eyes shimmering with tears and beckoning me to her.
I sat beside her put an arm around her shoulders. She threw her own around my waist and sighed heavily into my own shoulder. We sat in silence for what seemed like several minutes before Honoka-chan pulled away with her form slumped.
"What's wrong Honoka-chan?" I then remembered her words from the airport, and I immediately spoke up about it. "What did you mean when you said it was your fault?" I said carefully, and when she finished processing what I said, fresh tears appeared in her eyes.
"Because she told me she liked you before I even knew what that meant." she pressed her palms against her eyes and took in a long, shaky breath. "After she told me, I tried to learn what that was like. I asked her to tell me about it, and she spilled her feelings out for me to hear. And then it turned out I liked you to. But I did the worst! After I learned about my feelings, I told her all about it. I ignored her when she tried to talk about you and told her about how much I love you and that I would confess to you the day we graduate. I pretended she never said anything about her feelings towards you and played it off like it was nothing."
"But I could see it! I could see how much she was trying not to cry when I told her about what I wanted to do with you. How I wanted to hold you and kiss you and tell the world I was the special one in your life!" Honoka-chan stopped to swallow back a sob before continuing. "And then she stopped trying to approach you. I noticed the final semester before she graduated that she completely gave up on trying to get her feelings across to you. And guess what? I felt happy about it!" Honoka-chan removed her hands from her face, and I could see her smile as she continued to cry.
"I felt happy that I could finally get you all to myself! I didn't have to deal with competition, and that was such a good feeling!" and then her smile dropped. "But that only happened because Umi-chan confided in me first. If she didn't, I probably would have never noticed my feelings for you. She trusted me with her feelings and I exploited those and pretended they never existed." she sobbed again and I had to wrap my arms around her because I felt tears pricking as well. "What kind of friend am I? How could I do that to her? It was so horrible of me…"
"It's okay, Honoka-chan. After all, you're the one I really like." I didn't want to take sides. I couldn't, but Honoka-chan needed the comfort right now.
"But when did you start developing feelings for me? You told me it was during our second year, right? Around the time we started as idols?" I nodded, dreading where this was going. "That's when I started pursuing you! That's when I found out about my feelings! And that was when Umi-chan was even helping me court you…" Honoka-chan's balled fists accidentally squeezed my skin underneath, but I couldn't tell whether or not it was more painful than the squeeze of my heart.
"If she didn't do that and continued with her advances, maybe you would've been with her right now. Umi-chan could have been here, no one would have to be hurt because I wouldn't know about my feelings, and you would have fallen in love with Umi-chan!"
"But that's just 'what if', right? We don't know that for sure. Maybe I never would've responded to Umi-chan that way and still had fallen for you."
"But I would rather take that 'what if' if it meant Umi-chan didn't have to leave us because she was hurting so much! I pushed her away, and now I don't know what to do with myself..."
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
The feelings were still fresh. I could still remember all the tears we shed that day, and all the worry we had for our blue-haired friend as we were, surely, blowing up her phone (the one thing I asked of Umi-chan's parents was whether or not she had changed her phone number, and they truthfully told us that she hadn't). We all called, texted, emailed, left voicemails-everything to try and get anyone of us to contact her and get a response. And to this day, we have received nothing in return.
I knew Umi-chan was at least talking with her parents. They were still rather traditional, so Umi-chan's parents weren't well-versed with technology, and often sent letters to one another. On the coincidental days I would pass by Umi-chan's house while the delivery man was dropping off mail, I would catch glimpses of the dark blue envelopes Umi-chan always used to send letters, and was happy that she was at least taking care of herself enough to send letters to her parents.
Two years after that, I could still remember the feelings Honoka-chan and I had to overcome in our relationship, but it only made us stronger.
Five years after that, I noticed that the dark blue envelopes weren't being delivered anymore, and I grew worried for her well-being, but also happy at the thought of Umi-chan having moved back and not needing to send letters anymore. But I had a family to take care of now, and a school to manage, so I couldn't investigate further.
Otonokizaka managed to survive and flourish after the success of μ's, and after my mom retired, I took over, and turned it into a co-ed school. Honoka-chan had also taken up her parent's bakery, and though they still helped out, she could now be considered the owner.
We ended up having two kids-two girls, to be exact, and the oldest was still in her third year of junior high. They were a handful, honestly, but I loved them all the same. Having a family of my own and working filled my schedule and mind up so thoroughly to the point of me forgetting about my blue-haired friend.
But it was twenty years after high school that the memories of that day came back to me in the form of a boy with dark blue hair and sky blue eyes the same shade as the woman beside him. The woman was a blur, for I couldn't take my eyes off the second year that appeared to me like a mirror-image of the friend I had lost twenty years ago.
"Clubs are mandatory here, so is there a club you were thinking of joining? I have a list right-"
"Archery!" the boy said enthusiastically. "Father is an alumni from this school and said that she was in the archery club! She and my grandfather practice it all the time at the dojo and I was learning from her too!"
"Wow, so you must be really good at it."
"Definitely! Father says that she's even willing to teach me more if I take it seriously. I can't wait to start practicing with her and grandfather!" the boy practically jumped in his seat.
"Kaiyou, calm down a little." the woman, presumably his mother, reprimanded softly.
"Hm… so what's the name of this dojo of yours? I happen to have a friend that owns a dojo as well, and maybe your father knows them." I could feel tears prick as I looked at the transfer student's profile.
"The Sonoda dojo! What's your friend's dojo's name? I could ask father when I get home!" the boy asked excitedly.
He never got an answer though, because the school bell rang, and I ushered he and his mother out of my office quickly, sending them off with my secretary so she would escort him to his room. He seemed to have forgotten all about his question though as he waved towards me with a bright smile.
The rest of the day flew by me with unforeseen speed, and I found myself in front of the Sonoda household for the first time in at least a decade. I stopped coming here after the letters stopped coming in, and as I ran my eyes along the large estate, I noticed that nothing at all has changed about the large wooden-structure that made up most of the Sonoda house. The doors opened then, and out came Kaiyou as he yelled for someone from inside.
"Come father, hurry! Mother said we have to get back before she finishes dinner!" he laughed before sprinting in some direction.
"Kaiyou, wait for me!" and followed was the alluring tone I haven't heard in twenty years.
She grew taller since I last saw her. She appeared to have built more muscle as well, but it was hard to tell under the black haori that was hung around her body. But that shade of blue was unmistakable. I didn't notice right away when amber orbs turned to my direction, only looking up when that familiar voice called out to me from across the empty street.
"Kotori?" three syllables was all it took for her to encompass me after twenty years. We stared at one another in silence, and a certain tranquility fell over us as we looked each other up and down.
The only sound resounding was the echoing thunk of arrows hitting firmly against wooden targets just beyond the walls of the house I had spent my childhood at with the woman before me.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
A/N: Hazukashi promotion of my other work that I have yet to update :D Feels good, lmao.
Also, please know that I love Honoka, lol (in this and I Hope She Treats You Well, Honoka is kind of the "bad guy", so I gotta make sure y'all know, lol).
Anyway, thanks for reading!