Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own imagination and the wild places it takes me. I do not own MGM or Stargate or any of its affiliates… if I did, I would have made a SGA movie and another 6 seasons of SGA… I also don't have a medical degree or a psychology degree so please forgive any mistakes I may make

A/N: Hey All! This is the third and final story of the Hannah series I thank everyone who has come this far with me and a huge thanks to Lee K. and my Beta nluvwithemmetcullen for their patience and that they haven't tried to murder me via email yet for my procrastination and never ending ideas and always changing my mind! Ok I hope you all enjoy! Reviews not necessary but always nice (except for flamers please don't send)

It was a beautiful spring morning with a gentle breeze blowing through the field where the Athosians planted their crops.

It was a large field that was big enough that yield would feed the Athosians and leave spare for trade. The whole community turned out daily as soon as spring hit to turn the soil and plant the next harvest.

Hannah had to admit she loved working in the field, the sunning warming the Earth and the smell of rich soil, the blossoming flowers and the clean fresh smell of the air. She loved this planet not that she had travelled anywhere else yet but then why would she when she was so warmly welcomed by the Athosians.

Hannah used one of her hands to block out the morning sunlight so she could looked to the sky and watch a bird fly through the crystal blue sky. Hannah was envious of that bird as she wished she could feel the freedom that bird must feel being able to roam freely knowing its purpose in the world.

Hannah wished she could remember her place, ever since she appeared on New Athos 13 days ago. She woke up in the forest naked with no memory of who she was or where she happened to be. The experience had been disorientating to say the least and frightening when she found herself surrounded by strangers.

"Those seeds aren't going to plant themselves Perdita." Selana told her with a friendly smile. Hannah returned the smile and looked to the ground and returned to placing the seeds into the ground.

'Perdita' meaning 'Lost one' was her nickname given to her by one of the elders in the settlement. The Elder said it was more fitting as Hannah's spirit had obviously lost its way from the heavens and ended up back on the plane they currently inhabited.

Halling, the man who first found her in the woods and offered her shelter and clothing; had tried to explain to the Elder she already had a name and they all knew that. But the Elder would not be persuaded and who was Hannah to disagree. It was apt description of how she felt. It wasn't like she felt any recognition to the name Hannah. She didn't even recognise her own reflection in the water.

Since her arrival on New Athos she had been having trouble sleeping, mainly sleeping peacefully. She had only slept peacefully three nights out of her 12 nights on New Athos. She remembered the dreams but they were vague memories and emotions of people sitting round a table laughing about something amusing and waves of happiness washed over her and there was a man he would always watch her from across the table his hazel eyes focussed on her.

Then the dream would change and she would be wrapped up in his arms. The feeling of being safe and warm enveloped her and a sense of being cherished as she'd feel of his lips on her temple and his fingers caressing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The dream would end before they actually kissed and she would wake up feeling a smile pass on her lips and a sense of peace which warmed her to the core.

Sadly, she woke up on a more regular basis drenched in a cold sweat and her heart pounding in fear and anticipation as though she was waiting for something to happen. Every shadow and slightest noise would get her attention and it took what seemed like hours to calm herself. The first few nights she woke up like this she would make herself go to sleep only to dream of dark, disturbing and painfully vivid nightmares.

She felt that they were a reflection of her old life and it was not something she wanted to return to or fully remember. But Halling told her that Colonel Sheppard said she had not left the plane they inhabited peacefully so the nightmares were probably those memories resurfacing first and that maybe in time when her spirit and mind worked through the pain and learned to make peace with what happened she would hopefully have peaceful dreams.

Hannah always nodded when he told her this but didn't entirely believe him after the first few nights of waking up then returning to slumber to have nightmares she gave up and rose from her bed and went for a walk to calm herself. Halling had taught her to meditate to centre herself when she woke up startled but Hannah couldn't keep her concentration to sit still or stop her thoughts that were on hyper alert at every noise. She found with the walk she could remind herself there were no dangers and nothing to hurt her on New Athos and her nightmares were in her mind and she was safe.

She spent most of her days by Halling's side, they would have a stout tea before dawn and then they would head to the ring of the Ancestors to try and contact Hannah's friend Colonel John Sheppard and Teyla Emmagen who was the Athosian's Leader also Hannah's friend. Halling had informed her of what he knew of her life and her place in the City of the Ancestors that she and her people called 'Atlantis'.

How once they finally got in contact with Atlantis, he knew that her people would be happy to know that she was alive and well even if she couldn't remember them or anything past her nightmares and what Halling told her. That they would welcome her back and she would return to place on Atlantis and that if she returned to her 'normal' life then her memories would return to her.

But for 13 days the ring of the Ancestors refused to open a portal to Atlantis. Every time Halling or Kanaan pressed the dial Hannah felt her heart leap into her throat and anxiety set in and when it failed to activated she was relieved but saddened. She had fears of her nightmares being reality, fears that she wouldn't be welcomed like Halling assured her, fears of the unknown as she had no understanding of what her life was going to be.

So when they couldn't contact Atlantis they returned to the settlement for the morning meal and then went into daily activities from preparing and cooking meals to collecting fire wood and working in the fields. Then all the Athosians returned to the main dwelling they used for communal meals and had their evening meal and then they are said their prayers to the Ancestors before resting for the night to start all over again the next day.

So today was shaping out like every other she had experienced before. She had gone for a long hike to return before dawn to share in the Stout tea as it was custom. Then she and Halling had tried to contact Atlantis. When they weren't successful, she wondered how many more days they were going to keep on trying before they gave up. She was beginning to think it was a sign that she was meant to stay on New Athos.

"Hannah."

Hannah looked up after her name was called the second time to see Halling waving to her to come over. She pushed to her feet and dusted the dirt off her hands before heading to Halling. He was standing at the edge of the field with a man and woman Hannah didn't recognise. The man was shorter than Halling but still tall, he had black messy hair and wore grey clothing with a black vest he was definitely not Athosian but there was something familiar about the sight of him.

The woman on the other hand was much shorter she had shoulder length brown hair and light brown skin, she dress in the same garb as the other female Athosians. As she neared them she noted the look of awe and shock on their faces. Halling just smiled at Hannah and looked to the two strangers beside him who still stared at her.

"Hannah, as I promised this is Teyla Emmagen and Lt. Colonel John Sheppard." Halling told her gesturing to the woman and the man standing beside her.

"It's nice to finally put faces to your names. Halling has told me many things about you two." Hannah said awkwardly as the two recovered, Teyla smiled warmly at her first and then Sheppard managed to blink out his stunned expression.

"I hope all of it was good." Sheppard said, he looked at Hannah as she stood in front of them practically glowing with a healthy tan and flushed cheeks. She looked slightly fatigued but it didn't detract from the fact she was smiling something he had missed seeing her do.

She wore black skin tight pants tucked into unfitted knee high boots and a grey caftan with its long sleeves rolled up to her elbows with a black belt cinched under her bust. Her blonde hair was longer than he had ever seen before as it hung over her left side down the front of her in a messy fishbone plait that ended at her waist. He also noted besides the hair being different and that she had a few scars he didn't remember her owning before today. One on her neck right side just below her jaw line that was about 3cm long like she had been sliced by a knife and another three on the outside her left forearm and one on her right arm extending from her right elbow across the outside of her arm they looked like slash wounds that had healed a long time ago since he wondered how many more scars like that were hiding on her. But brushed the thoughts, the anger and guilt he was starting to feel well up inside as he should have done more to save her.

But in saying that he had gotten his wish Hannah was standing in front of him, healthy and whole besides memory loss. He was not going to let anyone take his chance to redeem himself for past mistakes away or what he owed Hannah.

"Only the best I assure you." Hannah told him.

"Of course, you'll have to apologise our not getting here sooner. Dr McKay believes that there was a space phenomenon that would not allow a connection between Atlantis and New Athos." Teyla said in a calm manner.

"Space Phenomenon?" Hannah asked as the words sounded foreign to her, yet familiar at the same time.

"Like a solar flare or planetary drift or something." Sheppard answered, he couldn't stop staring at her it was as if he believed she was going to disappear if he blinked. Hannah frowned as she was confused by what he was saying but also found it slightly unnerving how he stared at her. She hoped he would stop and it wasn't some kind of habit for him.

"Teyla, I was hoping we could discuss a private matter perhaps. Hannah, you and Colonel Sheppard could take a walk and he can answer the questions I unable to." Halling offered.

"I'm supposed to be helping plant seeds." Hannah said.

"I'm sure they won't mind." Halling reassured her. Hannah nodded and looked to Sheppard.

"Shall we?" she asked, Sheppard gave a nod and gestured for her to take direction. Hannah looked to Halling who gave her an encouraging nod before she started walking in the direction of the lake.

After a few moments of awkward silence played between them, Sheppard cleared his throat.

"So what did Halling tell you exactly? Cause as soon as he saw us in the settlement he told us that you appeared a week or so ago. That you were naked with no memory of who you were." Sheppard said.

"Yeah that is what happened." Hannah said as she continued to walk to the lake with him on a well worn path in the forest. She wasn't ready to tell him about the nightmares or her fears of leaving New Athos.

"So you don't recognise me at all?" Sheppard asked Hannah stopped and looked at him thoughtfully for a few seconds.

"I'm not sure it's very disorientating. You look so familiar to me and yet I have no memory of you. If it helps it pains me as much as I'm sure it pains you" she told him, she pursed her lips and looked away for a moment. Her expression was unreadable when she looked back at him.

"It's frustrating but you look good." Sheppard conceded.

"Thank you, are you going to take me to Atlantis?" Hannah asked.

"Only if you want to, I'd never force you but I think if you want to recover your memories it's the best place." Sheppard said, he could tell she was having some trouble reconciling her thoughts. He would have laughed at how readable her face was now compared to before except he could see her inner turmoil playing out which was no laughing matter.

"What's eating at you?" Sheppard asked.

"Halling said I did not leave this plane of existence peacefully. He said you could tell me about who I was and what happened to me." Hannah said. Sheppard shifted uncomfortably and grimaced. "I hope as my friend you will tell me the truth not matter how painful or gruesome." she added.

"Look, I won't lie to you. You deserve the truth and I want you to trust me. So I'll make a deal with you." Sheppard told her.

"Ok," Hannah said carefully.

"You can ask me anything and I will try to be as completely honest with you as I can. But you gotta understand there are things I don't know because I wasn't there and a lot of it you are probably better off not knowing. Though you will probably remember all of it anyway right?" Sheppard asked, he didn't think he'd feel so uncomfortable as he did now. It was that she looked so lost and he didn't want to burden her.

"Halling believes so," Hannah said.

"You don't." Sheppard stated surprised she didn't show more hope or keen interest in knowing herself.

"Too early to say. You were speaking of a deal?" Hannah asked.

"Right, I'll tell you what you want to know but in exchange you have to be completely honest with me and open about what's going on in that head of yours. I want to help you but I can't do that if you don't trust me or tell me what's going on." Sheppard said. Hannah looked away from him for a moment considering his proposal for a moment.

"Sounds fair." She said she started walking again with Sheppard by her side.

"So speaking of Atlantis, you want to come back with us? We have the room and well none of your stuff is there but I know of a few people who would give their right arm to see you but…" Sheppard drawled for dramatic effect.

"But what?" She asked.

"Well you should know I drank all your ruus wine." Sheppard told her. She looked at him confused as to why she would care about that.

"I am sure I can find in my heart to forgive you." Hannah said it sounded more like a question than a statement. Sheppard smiled at how unsure she sounded she was not the Hannah he remembered she even spoke differently probably due to an extended stay with the Athosians.

"Good, so any questions you have for me?" Sheppard asked.

"You didn't answer my earlier question about how I originally left this plane. I know it wasn't peaceful." Hannah told him.

"I don't know all the details of exactly what happened but months ago back in our galaxy you were captured by our enemy. I do know they were not known for treating their prisoners with care. We tried to find you but couldn't and then after a while I had to come back here and I got a message that you had ascended." Sheppard told her, he knew he promised to be completely honest but he wasn't ready to tell her all the details yet. The fact she was declared dead or that they called off the search for after 2 weeks after she was captured.

Hannah nodded as she took in his words before she spoke carefully "So I ascended and for some reason I came back." she said more to herself than Sheppard.

"Yeah well, whatever the reason I for one am glad you're back even if you don't remember our beautiful friendship." Sheppard said in a joking tone. Hannah bit back a smile as they had made it to the lake.

Teyla smiled as Halling poured out a cup of tea for her and himself. He sat down opposite her at one of the many tables in the communal tent used for meal time.

Teyla and Halling had walked through the settlement stopping to talk and for Teyla to reconnect with her people she normally visited them weekly if not more but between the events of Ronon reuniting with some of his old Satedan friends and the fallout to the Stargate not being able to connect to New Athos she had not been back for over a month. She had missed them all and was glad to return for a visit. The added surprise of Hannah being here alive and well was an added bonus.

"Tell me how is Hannah?" Teyla asked, she knew Halling had left out many details about Hannah when they first arrived he just told them that Hannah had fallen from the sky with no memory or clothing. She had honestly thought he was playing a joke until he called Hannah over. Hannah had drastically changed from the woman Teyla remembered but she was glad and somewhat relieved to see Hannah. She also knew that when she and Sheppard returned with Hannah to Atlantis it would please many people who had been affected by Hannah's disappearance.

"She is healthy of body but her spirit is in a state of unrest." Halling said his brow furrowed as he thought of the best way to explain his observations. Teyla raised a questioning eyebrow at him but patiently waited for him to continue. "I feel I must warn you she has disturbed nights. She cries out in her sleep like she is in immense pain and some nights she is loud enough to wake half the settlement. Sometimes she wakes up and wanders the night restless until dawn. I think she had only slept through the night once or twice."

"You believe her memories are resurfacing through her dreams?" Teyla asked him.

"I believe so." Halling said looking at his tea.

"Has she spoken about what she remembers?" Teyla asked.

"Nothing in detail but I'm sure when she is ready she will voice what she knows. I think she is reticent in returning to Atlantis because she believes she will be returning to whatever is in her nightmares. I have assured her that you would all welcome her with open arms but I'm not sure if she truly believes me." Halling said he was about to continue when the sound of Sheppard and Hannah laughing could be heard.

"I'm telling you the truth! Ask Teyla if you don't believe me." Sheppard protested as he held the tent flap open for Hannah to step in first.

"You say the most outrageous things. I do not believe I could be such a violent person." Hannah said shaking her head at him.

"You are but in a good way." Sheppard assured her as they joined Teyla and Halling at the table.

"Sheppard was telling me that I am a sarcastic know it all who has a tendency to be drunk and violent." Hannah said to Halling and Teyla.

"I didn't say that! You asked for funny stories and I can't help it if most those stories involve you being drunk or being violent." he said defending himself. It seemed the two had hit it off from their walk together. Sheppard sat back in his chair getting comfortable he noted Teyla and Halling looked pensive for a moment before they smiled at them.

"Yet I'm still waiting for a funny story that does not involve me being drunk. Tea?" Hannah asked Sheppard, he nodded and she rose from her seat.

"You know I have found something good about your memory loss." Sheppard said as Hannah returned with two cups and a tea pot.

"Oh?" Hannah asked as she poured out the tea.

"Yeah means you have none of my embarrassing stories to use against me." Sheppard said.

"haha I guess then I should recover my memories so we can be on equal footing" Hannah told him as she retook her seat.

"Well it's only a trip through the Stargate." Sheppard told her.

"No." Sam told McKay as they stood in the control room of Atlantis. McKay started to argue his side while Sam tried her hardest not to roll her eyes as McKay started to rant at her about how they should update the subroutines of Atlantis's DHD. Sam was hesitant to do so considering the many hiccups and adventures she had to experience with SGC's dialling program.

"All I'm saying is that we can make a lot of short cuts and be able to more connections if we just tweak the existing program." McKay said.

"Weren't you the one who once believed that my interface program with the Stargate was full of flaws which resolved in numerous unnecessary situations, any of which could have had the potential to be catastrophic?" Sam asked folding her arms across her chest. She had already told him no but he want to argue the point.

"Maybe," McKay mumbled "But it's the point your original interface has greatly improved and I'm just adapting the good parts." McKay told her.

"No." Sam said firmly.

"Come on, I'm suggesting improvements."

"I said no." Sam told him firmly. McKay opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by the alarm sounding in the control room.

"Unscheduled Off World Activation." Chuck said as the Stargate activated and the wormhole opened. The shield was raised and guards down in the Gate room moved into defensive positions. Sam moved from where she was standing with McKay to Chuck's station.

"Receiving IDC, it's Sheppard." Chuck informed them.

"Lower the shield." Sam said even though it wasn't necessary for her to say it she did for the hell of it. She moved to the balcony that overlooked the gate room.

"I thought he and Teyla weren't coming back until tomorrow." McKay said as he joined her. The shield was lowered and a few seconds Sheppard stepped through the Stargate and a second later a second person stepped through that was not Teyla.