Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or its characters. I don't make any money from this and claim no rights to the song used.
AN: So, I recently went through a hard break up. I was writing the next chapter of Dancing with Sin in an attempt to distract myself while listening to depressing break up music. I came across this song while thinking of Mello and Matt and this was born. I hope you all enjoy, because I liked writing it.
Suggested Listening: By The Way: Theory of a Deadman.
Bleary green eyes fluttered open. Usually pale cheeks were red and puffy with tears. The redhead rolled over and his nose connected with a pillow while the intoxicating aroma of chocolate filled his nostrils.
Suddenly he was sitting upright as memories flooded back to him. He was used to sleeping into Mello's bed. It had become so when they were young, when the crass and mean blonde had woken Matt up from a nightmare. From that moment on, Matt had slept curled under Mello's arm.
However, when he woke and rolled over, Mello would shove the redhead off of the bed and onto the floor. But that warmth was gone now. There were no firm yet so gentle hands shoving him to the carpet below. There was no blonde hair tickling his neck.
A note by the door
Simply explains, it's all that remains
It's no wonder why I have not slept in days
The redhead lifted himself out of bed and left the memories of those nights. But the memories of the previous would never leave him.
From the game room where the redhead was absorbed with his handheld, a streak and blur of yellow and black passed his vision. He looked up quickly and ran into the hallway to see the blonde disappearing up the stairs.
"Shit," the redhead cursed as he followed his lover.
When he entered the room, he saw his blonde in the middle of the room, curled on the floor with sobs racking through his body. He dropped to his knees, game discarded on the floor. He put his hands on Mello's back gently, rubbing soothing circles. He didn't move closer or try to hold Mello, simply keeping a hand on him to alert him to his presence.
The blonde finally looked up and shot to his feet so fast that he swayed. Matt stood next to him and took his arm, steadying the boy on his feet. Once Mello was oriented, he yanked his arms away and grabbed a duffle bag and started haphazardly shoving his clothes inside. Matt looked on with confusion.
"Mels, baby tell me what happened," he prompted gently, tugging his orange goggles down around his neck. Electric blue eyes snapped to meet his. They were cold and angry, full of vengeance and hatred. But when they met concerned, loving green eyes, they faltered and softened.
"L..." Mello chocked on his words. Tears prickled in the corners of his eyes again as he struggled to tell his lover what had happened. "L is dead."
Matt's jaw dropped. "L is... dead? Kira got to him?"
Mello nodded. "And Roger wants me to work with Near. That'll never happen, it can't! So I'm leaving. I'm getting out of here!"
Matt sprang to action, grabbing his prized possessions and throwing them in a bag. Mello froze and looked up with pained eyes.
"Matty... Where I'm going is dangerous. I can't let you come with me." A fleeting kiss and a whispered 'I love you' didn't register in the mind of the redhead until he felt a cool breeze fluttering through the opened window. He ran to the window to see a flash of yellow disappear in the pouring rain.
Before Matt allowed himself the luxury of crying, he noticed a piece of paper held down by one of Mello's prized chocolate bars.
'Matty,
I'm so sorry to do this to you. I know where I'm going and I'm pretty sure you know too. But you aren't cut out for that sort of thing. I promise, I'll contact you and you can help me, but right now I need you waiting in the wings. Wait for me.
Always yours, Mihael.'
The dust on the floor
Piled up from the years
All those scars and souvenirs
Now that you're gone it's easy to see
But so hard to believe!
Within two days, the quiet yet charismatic redhead was gone. Near heard the news and sighed softly, continuing to twirl his hair.
A full year it had been. Mello had let himself be easy to track by Matt's standards, leaving obvious clues that only Matt would understand. Matt had tracked him to LA, where all traces were lost. Matt couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. After all, Mello had learned computer skills from him.
By the way
You left without saying goodbye to me
Now that you're gone away
All I can think about now is you and me
You and me
The chain smoking gamer looked over his shoulder lazily from his position on the balcony. He stubbed out his cigarette and re-entered the apartment with a grumble. Who the hell needed his hacking skills now? And why couldn't they wait?
Mello would be turning 16 now. Just over a year since they both had left Whammy's without a trace to be found. Matt had smoked more than usual and was rather enjoying being alone. After all, no one rents an apartment to a fifteen year old kid. A nineteen year old kid with his little brother, now that worked.
Not like his big brother really did anything worthwhile. He went out and drank and smoked and fucked girls, but that's what Mafia dudes did, right? Not Matt. He was a hacker for hire, particularly to Mello's branch of the Mafia. He'd made quite a name for himself, and Mello could surely connect the two.
The redhead was brought out of his thoughts when he saw the message on his laptop.
"Matty, it's time. I need you now. Come out of the shadows.
Your dearest M."
It's not like before
You left nothing here
It's all disappeared
It hurts me to see that we've been a lie
Would it have hurt you to try?
Attached was a map. Matt sucked in a breath through his teeth. This was it; this was what he'd been waiting for so long to hear!
The map was scanned and printed. The codes and paths were jumbled, but Matt read them perfectly. His terror twin and he had constructed quite the code for when they would pull pranks at Whammy's. The code consisted of maps and directions, notes, signals and more. It was always quite amusing to watch the teacher's faces as they struggled to decipher the mess of words and numbers.
Matt slipped on his fur vest and pulled on his boots. He stepped into the frigid Los Angeles air and began his trek to the apartment that Mello apparently had. Tucked inside his vest was the chocolate bar from that night.
By the way
You left without saying goodbye to me
Now that you're gone away
All I can think about is you and me
You and me
The cold bit at his flesh. The vest kept his torso warm, which was the important part. The boots and gloves kept his hands and feet warm. But the skinny jeans and the thin sleeves of his shirt did nothing to help him. He tightened his aviators as the wind picked up and visibility went down.
"Hey kid," someone yelled. "You lookin' for somethin'? Ya seem kind of cold. I'll give you enough money to buy a real coat if you suck me off."
Matt simply rolled his eyes and pulled out his BB gun. From a distance, it must have looked real, because the source of his current nuisance tripped over his own two feet as he stumbled backwards. Matt took aim and shot the pellets, laughing snidely when they connected. He stuffed the gun back down his vest and continued to haul his sorry ass through the snow.
By the time he got there, his scars were aching. They seemed to darken and throb when it was cold and Matt made a mental note to keep his gloves on and sleeves pulled down in Mello's presence. The blonde wouldn't take too kindly to Matt butchering his arms.
It's sad to say that this pain is killin' me inside
But it's sad to say that this pain in keepin' me alive
Twisting and turning it rips through my heart
It's been tearing me apart!
Not like it was the redhead's fault. At least, that's what he tried to tell himself as he stomped up the stairs to Mello's apartment. He knew that internally justifying it probably did nothing, but oh well. He hadn't meant to become a masochist. Pain junkie. Whatever it was you called his sort.
When he reached the seventh floor, he was panting and huffing. Of course, the thought never occurred to him that the cigarette dangling between his lips was probably the cause of his pain. By the time the thought did occur, it was far too late for him to stop.
He stalked down to the proper door, knocking softly on the wood when he reached it. He would have shrugged the vest down to greet the blonde completely, but he kept his face buried in the faux fur. He was still regaining feeling in his nose and ears.
Then the door opened. Mello was beautiful as ever, with long blonde hair and pale, flawless skin. His cerulean eyes still pierced Matt's soul, and forever would. But Matt's eyes were drawn to the skin tight leather he wore.
Somehow, dead cow hide didn't look good on anything except for gloves and boots... and Mello. The tight fitting material hugged his body like a second skin and was doing things to Matt's skin that he wasn't wholly comfortable with. After all, who was to say that they were still lovers? Mello probably only needed him because of his hacking ability.
By the way
You left without saying goodbye to me
Now that you're gone away
All I can think about is you and me
You and me
He was quickly proven wrong when he was dragged into the apartment and the door was shut behind him. The first thing the blonde felt it necessary to do was apologize profusely for apparently taking so long to contact Matt. Then he deemed it needed to crush his lips against Matt's and pin him to the wall, inching the zipper of the vest down and grinning when he felt Matt's need pressed against his leg. Clothing was removed without question or hesitation and Matt was taken against the wall, not bothering to hide his passionate cries.
All I think about now is you and me
You and me
Mello leaned heavily against his precious gamer and nuzzled his neck. "I missed you Matty. I'm so sorry I left, but I won't do it again."
"I love you Mihael," the redhead whispered. Mello looked up and smiled. It wasn't a grin or a smirk. It was a smile that was so small, yet changed so much in his eyes.
"I love you too Mail," he whispered as he brushed their lips together again.
All I think about now is you and me
You and me.