Guide me home

A/N: So this was meant to be pure Thorki smut but as I was writing it, it became really angsty, but I suppose it's hard to avoid feels where Loki is concerned. However, this was ridiculously rewarding to write and I still want to do a Thorki fic that is so smutty it's painful, also, that was officially the worst summart I have ever written. Hope you enjoy x

The punishment had been severe.

But then again, the attack had been severe, so it evened itself out really. Or at least that was what Thor had thought.

From the day Loki had been returned to Asgard to this day since he had received the same torture, unrelenting in both it's persistence and it's nature. Odin thought it fit and therefore no one would dare argue with the great All-Father. Thor had naturally assumed that Frigga had no knowledge of such a fate for her son, otherwise she would have been extremely against such barbaric procedures.

But even barbaric procedures stem from truths, Thor told himself as he walked down the stone steps into Asgard's dungeon's in the break of day, squinting as the sunlight blazed in through the window in the stairwell. The last window he would pass into Loki's prison.

The trickster had been denied the usual cells because he was an unusual prisoner. He contained royal heritage, he contained magic but most of all he was easily the most ruthless of every prisoner in the realm, this required some extra containment.

There was no door at the bottom of the steps, why would there be? No one but Thor and occasional guards with food and water came down here, there was no need to hide the prisoner.

Thor could hear the quiet whimpering before he had even reached the bottom of the steps, he was quite used to the sound now although some days he still had to fight to keep the bad feeling at the pit of his stomach lest his protests erupted into speech before Loki, or worse, before his father.

Thor kept his expression neutral as his brother came into view. Loki was sobbing, he didn't normally cry but these last few mornings it had become more and more common to find tears dripping down the frost giant's cheeks, mixing with the pool of white at his feet.

"Good morning, Loki." Thor said quietly, Loki didn't look up although Thor knew that the chains that bound him allowed him to.

Thor walked forwards, careful to avoid Loki's quivering form and released the chains that locked Loki's knees to the floor and carefully eased his brother from Mjolnir's long handle.

Thor set Loki on the stone floor and watched as he flopped to the floor, careful not to knock the chains that bound his wrists together. His breath was shallow and his cheeks flushed but his eyes were still closed. Thor allowed one glance to his quivering thighs before he reached down and picked Mjolnir up, he could still feel the electricity pulsing through the slick handle and spared one last glance to Loki.

"How are you feeling, brother?" He attempted, but Loki did not reply, not from spite but simply from exhaustion.

Thor turned back to the steps, leaving his brother to get some rest.

This was Thor's ritual now, every night he would visit Loki in the dungeons and chain him onto Mjolnir and every morning he would retrieve his hammer for the day. It had been Odin's idea, he didn't know much about it, but apparently it was a Midgardian theory, to cleanse someone from the inside and it was decided that Thor's hammer was the best instrument to purge Loki's soul.

Thor didn't know how many times Loki came in a night, but too many to be pleasurable, he was sure. He was not sure if this punishment was rehabilitation or merely torture.

He shook his head as he ascended the steps, trying to rid his mind of the sounds of Loki's sobs behind him.

That night Thor descended the steps to the dungeons once more. Loki was sat crossed legged, eyes closed. His cock was soft and resting against his pale leg. Thor could feel the cold here through his garments and wondered exactly how Loki withstood the chill. But he was a frost giant, Thor supposed he wasn't as bothered by the cold as another would be.

Still, Loki's nakedness was not voluntary and Thor assumed this was a method to strip Loki of his power and not just his clothes. Although if Loki felt particularly vulnerable, he did not show it. Thor had never seen anyone look as calm as he did in this moment.

"Loki." Thor rumbled, expecting to startle him. But Loki merely opened his eyes slowly.

Loki's blue eyes seemed more piercing in the gloom of the dungeon than they had been before and he kept them fixed on Thor as he walked towards him. Thor hated it, he hated feeling like he was being judged by a prisoner, he was not the one who had done wrong, or at least he tried to believe that.

"Do not fight me." Thor warned in a quiet breath as he placed Mjolnir on the ground.

Loki continued to stare at him before he stood awkwardly and walked over to Thor, eyes cast downward.

Thor watched warily as Loki knelt down in front of Mjolnir and didn't move again.

"Loki?" Thor asked again, concern in his voice, but Loki did not speak. Thor longed for Loki to say something, say anything. Even if it was simply the spewed words of hatred he had received when Loki had first been placed here. These last few days though, Loki had not uttered a single word.

Thor wondered if Loki were fatigued, but he was so pale and thin generally that Thor had no way of telling from looking alone.

"Loki, are you in good health?" He asked, kneeling before his brother so he was at the same height as him. Thor thrust his hand out and brought Loki's face to his. "Answer me." He commanded.

"I'm fine." Loki replied blankly.

After a moment of staring at his brother's face, Thor's grip on his neck loosened and Loki sucked in a quiet breath. Thor took his hand away and again reminded himself that Loki was a prisoner, not just a prisoner, but he was no longer his brother.

He no longer had a reason to care for him.

Thor stood, retrieving a small bottle of oil from his armour and walking behind Loki to Mjolnir. Getting down on one knee, Thor squeezed some of the liquid onto the thick handle and slowly ran his hand over the ribbed surface.

Casting the bottle aside, Thor reached out for Loki's arm and tugged him backwards, positioning him so that his hole was inches from Mjolnir's head.

"Sit." Thor commanded softly, and Loki complied.

Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, Loki began to lower himself down on it's tapered handle. Thor walked back to the steps and watched as Loki sheathed himself on the massive handle.

Loki's whole body was quivering and his face was contorted in the most beautiful way. It took Thor a considerable amount of effort to resist getting hard, that was the last thing he needed.

Finally, Loki's knees hit the ground and he let out a soft moan and Thor felt himself get hard despite himself. He knew the length and girth of Mjolnir's handle all too well. And now, right now, Loki had the entire length pulsing inside of him...

Thor shook his head slightly before walking to Loki and kneeling before him once again. He took Loki's knee and fastened the chain around it, effectively tying him to the floor. The sudden shift in position forced Loki to cry out and Thor took care with the other leg, more for his benefit than for Loki's.

One soft touch to Mjolnir was all it took to get the electricity pulsing softly and Thor knew that Loki could feel it deep inside of himself.

Loki mewled softly and closed his eyes once again. Thor watched his face for a moment, unsure whether his brother was in pain or ecstasy, maybe both.

Thor stood slowly, trying to expel that uneasy feeling that had again surfaced in his stomach.

He walked back up the steps, trying to decide what to do for the rest of his evening.

A cold shower, maybe?

…

"Quick, Thor. There is disruption in Muspelheim!" Sif called out across the hall.

Thor looked up from his plate. "What?" He asked, already feeling tired from the day's activities.

"The fire demons are attempting to make a passage into Asgard, the All-father wants us to go." Sif explained quickly. "Retrieve Mjolnir, quickly!" She commanded before turning and leaving, presumably to collect the other warriors.

Sighing to himself, Thor stood. Every other week the fire demons were creating some sort of noise but they were no real threat.

Light on his feet, Thor hurried down the steps to Loki's dungeon to retrieve Mjolnir but stopped as he neared the bottom.

The moans coming from the dungeon were loud and wanton, broken by pleasure.

Thor quietly made his way to the bottom of the steps and stood, concealed by the wall. He watched as Loki sat atop Mjolnir, bucking wildly.

His mouth was agape and sweat was pouring from his brow. His thighs were quivering around the unrelenting girth inside him.

Thor felt guilty about taking away Loki's stimulation just as he was on the edge of release and resolved he could wait a few minutes until the frost giant came. He told himself he was doing it for Loki but he could feel himself getting hard for the second time that night.

He shouldn't be feeling this way about Loki, not for the fact that he was his brother but for the fact that he was his prisoner.

"Oh, fuck, fuck, f...uck!" Loki moaned quietly, his string of curses broken by the waves of pleasure coursing through his body.

"Oh, fuck!" He called out, louder than before as his stomach muscles quivered and his entire body arched.

Thor watched, transfixed, as Loki's achingly hard cock spurted white come onto the floor, shivering as his seed trickled down his over-sensitised member.

Thor forced himself forward, remembering at the last minute that Sif was waiting for him and he had more important things to do than ogle at his brother's punishment.

"Loki," Thor said, louder than he was anticipating. But Loki was too far gone to acknowledge him. He was whimpering again, his moans more strained and the tendons in his pale neck standing to attention.

Thor looked down and realised that Loki's cock had not softened, it remained erect and a deep shade of purple that could not be pleasurable. He was still bucking his hips over the insistent sensations inside him. He probably didn't know Thor was even there, let alone how hard he was making him.

Instead, he walked towards Loki and leant before him, careful to avoid touching his straining cock to avoid giving him more pain than he was already feeling. He sincerely hoped his father's methods of rehabilitation worked and Loki wasn't going through all of this for nothing.

Gently, he took the chains from around Loki's legs and placed his hands carefully around Loki's waist, lifting him slowly from the hammers handle.

Loki looked up, surprised, at Thor and shuddered involuntarily as the handle left his body.

Thor deposited him on the floor and Loki flopped to the ground, chest heaving.

Thor took hold of Mjolnir and told himself to walk away but he felt awful leaving Loki in such a state.

Turning to his brother, Thor waited until his breathing evened out and his body stopped shaking.

Breathlessly, Loki opened his startling eyes to Thor and smiled weakly at him before collapsing his head back to the ground and closing his eyes.

Taken aback, Thor quickly exited the dungeon and leant against the stone wall at the top of the steps. Mjolnir's grip still contained his brother's warm.

That was the first time Loki had shown anyone anything other than hatred or disregard since he had been returned to Asgard, the first and only emotional response Thor had received from him throughout his "rehabilitation."

A sudden thought came to Thor that made him feel joy and guilt at the same time.

Maybe violence was not the way to purge Loki's soul, maybe it was kindness.

…

The next evening, Thor returned to the dungeon with less vigour than he usually did. Not that he was ever particularly excited to visit his brother, but he was weighed down with the guilt of what he had done and the guilt of what he was about to do.

Thor didn't understand why Odin had effectively made him Loki's jailer, surely there were people more qualified for this?

But then of course, none of them knew Loki like he did.

Loki was lying on his side, wringing his hands around in boredom. His eyes were hooded with fatigue but he was awake.

He didn't speak as Thor entered, Thor could barely remember the sound of his voice.

Loki looked up as Thor placed Mjolnir on the ground, his blue eyes ripping a hole through Thor's chest in their complete dejection.

Loki stood silently, his movements a little stiff from his time shackled, and walked towards the hammer.

Thor closed his eyes for a moment, remembering how Loki used to fight this fate every single evening when he was first imprisoned, how it would be a battle to conquer Loki's passion. It truly troubled Thor to see what Loki had become, a submissive prisoner, no longer the fiery warrior Thor had known.

Thor realised with a heavy heart that Loki was supposed to be being cured, not subdued. Not changed beyond all recognition.

The guilt he suddenly felt for playing a central role in Loki's undoing overwhelmed him and effectively made his final decision for him.

"Loki, wait." Thor commanded before Loki could sink in front of the hammer. Loki looked up at his brother, confusion etched onto his features.

"I'm not going to use Mjolnir tonight." Thor explained.

"Why not?" Asked Loki immediately, sounding suspicious. Loki's voice sounded surprisingly thin down here in the dungeons. "What else has Odin got planned for me?"

Thor shook his head. "Nothing. This is not Odin's doing, this is mine."

Surprise crossed Loki's face but he didn't say anything. How Thor wished that Loki would scream at him, curse him, anything to show that he was capable of being brought back from the precipice.

"I am sorry," Thor continued, not recognising his own voice as he spoke. "What I did to you was a mistake."

Loki must have believed him because he let out a small laugh which brought Thor out of his selfish grief.

"What?" Loki asked rhetorically in response to Thor's stares. "You've only just realised that what you were doing was sick and wrong?"

There was anger in his voice, if only slight, and despite how bad Thor felt he could hear the old Loki in his voice. Get him angry, get him fighting you. A voice in the back of his head said. Cling onto him.

Licking his lips, Thor shot back: "You deserved it."

Loki's eyebrows shot up in a mix of disbelief and annoyance and Thor felt like he was actually getting somewhere when Loki suddenly seemed to loose his ire. His wide eyes conveyed such dejection and what seemed like sincerity and a hole formed in Thor's stomach.

He believes you. He is so far gone, he believes you. Loki.

Thor tried to reach out to him in his mind, to try and convey the million feelings he had swirling around inside him that were all really saying the same thing, that no matter how bad Loki ever became, no matter how many reasons Thor had to abandon him, he never would.

But Loki could not hear, and Thor could not speak.

Loki's eyes lowered to the ground. "Leave me." He said sadly, before sinking slowly down against the wall, curling up into a ball weakly. So thin and so pale he almost looked a translucent blue.

Eyes wavering for a moment, Thor picked up Mjolnir and left. At least this way, Loki might get some rest even if he did not.

…

Thor watched Sif fighting some unfortunate soul in the arena the next day, smiling shallowly to himself. In an ideal world, Sif would make such a perfect bride. She was honourable, kind, strong and clever.

But Thor's heart was already with someone else, someone without honour, without conviction. He cared for a villain more than a hero, he wondered what sort of person that made him.

Thor understood what was needed for Loki now, he needed to get him angry, frustrate him, remind him of the powerful being he used to be, that he still was.

Somehow, this was no longer about rehabilitation, this was about getting Loki back.

As he turned to leave he heard Odin's booming voice from behind him. "I am assuming you are headed down to the dungeons again."

Thor turned to face his father. "Yes, I am." He answered, trying not to look as guilty as he felt.

Odin raised an eyebrow. "You've been spending an awful lot of time with Loki of late." He observed.

"Yes, his rehabilitation is going well," Thor replied quickly, "I don't want to miss it."

With that, he turned on his heel and left quickly, Odin said nothing.

…

Loki was sleeping lightly, head lolled back against the floor.

Thor watched him, placing Mjolnir down gently so as not to wake him.

Walking quietly over to the sleeping form, Thor smiled to himself and knelt down, brushing Loki's raven hair from his eyes, glad that his brother had found some rest.

Loki woke with a start and Thor removed his hands, Loki's eyes landed on his face, wearing a quizzical expression.

"What are you doing here?" He asked quietly, eyes darting around. "I...assume it's still daytime."

"It is." Thor answered, looking around, maybe he should get someone to put a window down here?

Loki sat up stiffly. "Isn't everyone suspicious as to where you are?" He asked.

"Everyone knows I am here." Thor informed him. "They believe I am facilitating in your rehabilitation."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "What exactly are you facilitating me with then? Why are you here? Why did you stop using Mjolnir?" The last question was barely above a whisper.

Instead of answering, Thor merely knelt down in front of Loki and produced a key, Loki watched as Thor removed the shackles from Loki's wrists for the first time since he had been placed here. Thor physically winced at the dark bruising around Loki's wrists. Loki looked away but did not retract his hands. Carefully, Thor took Loki's hands in his own, they were cold and strangely frail. Loki looked back immediately, eyes wide from the warm of the contact.

Meeting Loki's gaze, Thor spoke softly. "I'm sorry for what I let you go through."

Loki swallowed and shook his head slightly. "You shouldn't be," he replied, his words barely audible. "I'm a murderer." His voice was so soft and his words contained such conviction that Thor almost found them hard to believe despite the fact he knew them to be true.

"I am no better for what I have done to you."

Loki shook his head, seemingly involuntarily.

Standing, Thor moved until he was behind Loki and knelt back down again. "What are you doing?" Asked Loki, his voice close to shaking.

"I see the way you move." Thor commented, "your muscles are stiff, cramped up like this."

Reaching out, Thor placed both of his hands on Loki's shoulders, immediately feeling the stiffness in the muscles there. Gently, ever so gently, he began working out the knots of muscle, one at a time.

He could feel Loki begin to physically relax into his touch, although he still seemed hesitant, like he wasn't sure if this was actually happening, if someone was really touching him like this.

Thor supposed that the only way he could convince Loki was to continue.

"What do you want, Thor?" Asked Loki quietly.

"I want you back." Thor admitted, it was easier to say with his face away from Loki's, he felt bad for that. His hands began to work down Loki's stiff back. "The brother I grew up with," he continued. "You asked me why I stopped using Mjolnir, it was because you were no longer fighting."

"I thought the idea was to subdue me." Loki countered.

Thor halted his movements. "I couldn't watch it happen." He admitted. "I couldn't destroy you, I wont."

Loki turned his neck so he could see Thor's face and Thor saw something in those startling blue eyes that he hadn't seen in a while. Concern. Fear.

"Odin will kill you." Loki told him, voice shallow.

"What I was doing before would have killed you. If you died then I would gladly follow. This makes no difference."

Loki looked so completely overwhelmed with emotion, and Thor suddenly became hyper aware of how close their lips were, he unconsciously leant in to Loki before Loki's eyes changed and their was suddenly ire ablaze within them.

Thor tried not to be too saddened, this was what he had been planning, after all.

He knew this would happen, he knew that the minute he showered Loki with love and affection, despite it's truth, it would anger him.

Loki had always seen love and affection as tools of trickery and automatically distrusted them. Thor knew he had to convince his brother that he never mocked him when he told him he loved him, and he had always meant every word. But that was not a matter for now.

This was about Loki, not about Thor.

And, in a way, Loki's salvation meant Thor's, too.

Loki stood immediately, creating a distant between them. Thor stood slowly, but Loki continued to back away. He snarled quietly at him. "Stop treating me like a child, Thor. We are longer brothers playing together, we are no longer brothers!"

Thor tried not to let Loki's word hurt him, instead he tried to match his brothers rage, he had never been too successful in the past.

"Hold that serpent's tongue." Thor shot back.

Loki's face went slack for a moment. Thor knew that it was risky, using that old insult, he knew it would make Loki angry.

But what Thor feared would truly break his heart as if it had been smashed by Mjolnir itself was if Loki once again went flaccid, accepted Thor's harsh words as truths and demand Thor leave his side once again.

But that didn't happen. In fact, the rage in Loki's eyes only grew, hidden behind his dilated pupils.

Thor risked a step closer to his brother. He couldn't back down now.

"I know what you want." Thor said, "I know what you've always wanted. All throughout our years together I have seen you staring at me with unbridled lust. I have often wanted to claim you as my own."

Loki was suddenly pissed again. His lips pulled back into a snarl. "Claim me?" He all but shouted. "You sound like one of those homosapiens from Midgard! I am no one's to claim, I am a God!"

"As am I." Thor pointed out. He cast his eyes downward to see Loki was stood beside Mjolnir, his lips pulled up into a half smile. Confused, Loki followed Thor's gaze down to his beloved hammer and suddenly his features lost some of their rage.

This was it. The last straw. "The best bit about being down here with no one knowing what I am really doing," he began, "is that I can make you sit on Mjolnir whenever I want, I can make you come over and over again and for no divine purpose, simply for my own amusement."

Thor had never seen Loki so enraged in his entire life. For a moment, he stood completely still, coiled like an animal ready to spring.

Then he sprang.

Loki collided with Thor, forcing Thor's face to his own, their mouths met in a clash of teeth.

Thor reveled in the same fight he had almost forgotten, he responded to the kiss with the same enthusiasm.

Using a strength Thor was surprised he had, Loki pushed Thor to the ground and straddled him, if the friction of Thor's armour on his naked cock did anything, Loki hid it well.

"Never presume what I want!" Loki spat. "You cannot predict me!"

Grabbing Loki by the neck, Thor switched their positions easily. "I know exactly what you want." Thor growled, reaching blindly for the bottle of oil he had discarded here a few nights ago. Upon finding it, he lathered his fingers in the lubricant and reached down between Loki's legs.

Loki's eyes did not leave his as Thor pushed a finger inside Loki's quivering hole. "You want my cock in your ass." He said, voice low. "It's what you've wanted since the first night you had Mjolnir inside if you."

With that, he added a second finger. He would have thought that the constant abuse from his hammer would have made Loki looser but apparently not.

Thor curled his fingers inside Loki and watched as he arched his back slightly off of the floor and moaned involuntarily. "I...is that what you r...really...fuck...think? Do you really think that was what I was thinking of? Do you not think I was thinking about the pain, the pleasure, the redemption I could never seek being stuck in the dark in such a constant state of pained arousal that I felt like I deserved a place in the realm of Hela* herself?"

No. Thor could not let this happen, he couldn't let Loki slip back into his depression, he had to keep him distracted.

He pulled out his fingers quickly, hearing Loki cry out in shock beneath him before pulling down his breeches, revealing his straining cock, bouncing free of it's confines at the thought of finally being able to satisfy his need for Loki that he had been craving these last few days, that he had been craving forever.

"Thor," began Loki but Thor didn't give him the chance to speak, lining up his cock with Loki's hole and sheathing himself inside him, causing Loki to shout out.

Thor began to fuck him, hard and fast. Cries of either rage or pleasure ripped themselves from Loki's throat, Thor was unsure which.

Thor pushed Loki's legs father apart, watching as his pale, quivering hole swallowed his cock over and over again. He could feel Loki's thighs straining around him. Raising himself higher on his haunches, Thor pi-stoned into Loki from a different angle.

Loki began to whimper uncontrollably from beneath him, Thor could feel his body coming apart.

"Loki, so quickly." Thor teased, "is it because it's been so long since you've had someone touch you like this? Or is it because you enjoy being taken like this?"

Thor finally looked at Loki's face and was shocked to see that he was crying. Silent, thick tears falling from his eyes. He wasn't looking at Thor.

"Please, Thor...stop..." Loki begged weakly, and Thor felt all of the anger drain out of him, he had gone too far.

Thor stilled completely, feeling Loki's entire body quivering around him.

He was suddenly overcome with a crippling grief, tears of his own threatening to spill from his eyes. "Loki...I...I...I didn't realise I was hurting you...I..."

Loki covered his face with his hands, sobbing quietly before pulling away from Thor completely.

Thor watched helplessly as Loki cowered against the wall, his hands still covering his face making his bruised wrists more prominent.

"You weren't hurting me." He said, taking his hands away. "I wanted you to stop this act, this charade!" He shouted. "I know what you're trying to do," he said, voice returning to normal. "You're trying to make me so angry that I snap back into what I once was. I want my brother back."

Closing his eyes, Thor was hit by the parallel of their situations, both wanting the same thing but with no idea how to get it. He and Loki were always more alike than he ever let on.

Thor walked slowly to Loki, ready to back off the minute Loki didn't want him to touch him, but Loki did not resist as Thor gathered him up in his arms and let the pair of them sink to the floor.

Loki pressed into Thor's warmth, letting his head fall onto the Asgardian's chest.

"I'm sorry, Loki." Said Thor. "I thought this was the only way to get through to you. Through aggression. I didn't realise that that had changed."

"It changed every time I saw you come down those steps," Loki explained quietly. "I could hardly believe that you would not only allow but also facilitate in this punishment. I thought that if I didn't communicate with you, I could convince myself that you were just another faceless guard. I thought I had lost you, and thus myself also."

Thor hugged Loki tighter, as tight as he could to tell Loki that he would never let him go again. "I honestly thought I was doing what should have been done," his voice broke, "I know that it's no excuse."

Thor had forgotten, through all of the schemes and the trickery, he had forgotten what he knew about Loki. What very few knew about Loki.

That behind the anger and behind the spite, he was vulnerable. He was flesh and blood just like everybody else.

His punishment did not destroy him, it broke down the walls around him that protected him. Which, effectively, was the same thing.

"I can't live like this," said Loki suddenly, drawing Thor's attention back to him. "I can withstand the punishments, and the dungeons but I cannot withstand being so defenceless, an open wound for anyone to prod."

"Loki, every word of affection I spoke to you was not meant to be a weapon. It was genuine. I promise."

"I know." Loki admitted quietly. "That was the reason it hurt."

Thor was silent for a long moment.

"I don't know what to do," he finally admitted. Loki angled his head up and looked up at him. "You deserve this and yet you don't deserve this at the same time."

He looked down into those startlingly blue eyes, suddenly understanding their sincerity. "I can see you changing, even now."

Loki risked a small smile. "Maybe you are my rehabilitation after all."

Thor stared at Loki for the longest time, seeing a face that was achingly familiar and yet surprisingly new at the same time. For the first time in a long time, he felt content.

Leaning his head down, he pressed his lips to Loki's. Loki responded to the kiss earnestly and the pair stayed locked together for the longest time.

Thor held Loki for the entire night, supplying him with his warmth, with his protection and his love.

Thor knew, resolutely, that this was the best night's rest Loki had had since he had come home.

The End

*Asgardian hell.