Shadows
Show me your shadows
Let down the guard that you hold so high
Come all unraveled
I wanna see you from every side
I kick off my heels and sink down on my couch after a long day at work. The trial had taken months to prepare but was over within hours. I lost the case. There was nothing I could do as the defense tore every single witness apart. Two of them had to be carried out of the courtroom. I put my head in my hands. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. I had the whole entire trial in my hands, but the defense had weapons I didn't even notice. How could it have slipped my attention? How could I have not seen it coming?
I will not judge you
I will not run
When you let me see you come undone
I saw Alex's face when she left the courtroom. Tell the truth, I was scared at the expression on her face. It was tight, blank, almost as though she had disconnected with the world. The defense played tricks that were even in the book. I could see the distress in everyone's eyes, Elliot's, John's, Alex's, as the defense brought up the past of every single witness, from every single dirty little detail. I hope she's alright. I know I won't be for a while. Elliot listened as I rambled. I'm lucky to have a partner like him. He held me after I started to cry. I hate to cry but I couldn't help it. Nothing had been worse than watching the perp walk out of the courtroom with a smile and one of the victims sobbing in my arms. It was horrible.
Uncover your secrets
Give me your trust
Oh my love, is strong enough
For your shadows
I've never seen Olivia or Alex look so defeated. I know Alex tried so hard in court but I still feel like blaming her. I can't for long though because I knew it wasn't her fault. Olivia has been so upset and so have I. Usually it's me whole loses my cool but today, it was her. The case really got to her. I felt like I had to be there. She was there for my after all when Kathy left. Wouldn't be fair if she had no one. She looks up at me. I look at her. The attraction is there, but we have no choice. We both look away.
I don't know what haunts you
The ghosts that you fight with alone at night
The fears that confront you
I wanna see you from every side
I wasn't happy when the defense won the case. In fact, for the most part of the trial I felt like throwing someone or something. I saw the defense rip the witnesses apart and when there were no more witnesses, I saw them try to rip Alex apart. Fin and I were ready to kill someone. Alex, of course, could handle herself and put in a few snippy remarks of her own. I'm not feeling up to par but I'm not going to take a single day off. The case was an exhausting one with very few leads. Right now, not every a confession of a government conspiracy could lift my spirits.
I will not judge you
I will not run
When you let me see you
Come undone
I'm driving around town, doing everything to get that shitty trial out of my head. The rap music is turned way up and I'm pushing the speed limit. This time is the first time I didn't have a headache from my partner and his damn conspiracy theories, but rather from a stupid defense lawyer that wouldn't shut up. I'm gonna stick my foot up his ass sideways. I drive around some more, cursing under my breath. After a few hours, I decide to head back to the precinct. Someone needs to be there in case something else comes up.
Uncover your secrets
Give me your trust
Oh my love, is strong enough
For your shadows
I was the last person in the squad to know the results of the trial. Alex had dropped by in my office to make sure I was informed. Damn all defense attorneys. Alex was close to tears and I tried to get her to sit down and have a drink, but she refused. I sit down in my office alone. I debate with myself. I'm hurting and I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. I take out a bottle of scotch and pour myself a glass. I don't drink it. I'm just staring at it. Debating. Damn it all. I take a swig.
Let me lie down in your dreams
Let me see and touch everything
Everything
I can't do this anymore, but I have to. I lean back. The tv's still going but I can't hear it. I stand up. Maybe Cragen's offer wasn't such a bad idea. I could use a buddy. No doubt Olivia and Elliot are off somewhere licking their wounds as well. I get in my car and head down to the precinct.
Walk me through your shadows
Elliot and I are done with sitting on the steps of his house, trying not to cry. I was worried about Alex and everyone else on the team. I could see he was too. It was funny how Alex had grown on all of us, despite what a stubborn bitch she could be sometimes. I get in the car. Elliot can read my mind. He gets in too.
I will not judge you
I will not run
I drive by Munch's place. He's not there. Three guesses where he is. I back out of the driveway. I keep going for the precinct. I think everyone's already there.
When you let me see you
Come undone
Uncover your secrets
Give me your trust
Oh my love, is strong enough
For your shadows
Alex barged into the squad room to find Olivia and Elliot there as well, Elliot on a desk and Olivia leaning her head onto his lap. Alex sits down on the desk across from Olivia, just as Cragen comes in. He doesn't say a word, just stands there with his head lowered and a bottle of scotch in his hand. Munch walks in and takes his seat behind his desk. Then a few moments later, Fin walks in as well. They were all there. The entire team, that the city just kept breaking over and over again. They don't talk. It was enough to know that they were loved and could do no wrong in each other's eyes. That was what mattered. Their team. The Special Victims Unit.