A/N- this is meant to be senseless and amusing to those easily amused. Don't take offense to anything written and don't try to place a time on it cause I'm not quite sure myself. I know it goes against everything but just try it out ok?
Disclaimer- guess who owns this? not me, not me!! it belongs to JK Rowling, who might I ad, is a genius.
"So that went well." Hermione said brightly as they left the office Moody had taken up residence in during the year. She kept her tone light, hoping the others would catch on and they could pretend the eerie intimidating run in with the crazy auror could be recalled as something more pleasant.
"Well?" Ron exploded, as is his habit. "Hermione, he threatened us!"
"He did not threaten us Ronald."
"'You kids better keep sharp and no rule breaking this year… I'll be around keeping at least one eye on you'" Ron mimicked in a grunty voice. "What's that sound like to you?"
"A threat… but Moody is always like that." Hermione insisted. She turned to Harry, hoping he would back her up. "What do you think Harry?"
"I don't think that was Moody at all…" Harry said slowly. "I think someone is posing as Moody trying to lower the defenses at Hogwarts!"
"Harry, not everything is plan cleverly designed by You-know-who to invade Hogwarts." Hermione said sighing. "Besides, they already played the fake Moody card back in fourth year, remember? It was Barty Crouch Jr. and then they brought You-know-who back from the grave blah-di-blah-blah."
"You don't understand me at all!" Harry snapped at her, trying to hide his eyes brimming with angry tears. He hunched his shoulder and walked with his head down. Not one of them cared to recall that Moody had been killed during a not so clever move to get Harry to a 'point of safety' so that the muggles wouldn't kill him before Voldemort had another go. It was just one of the many little things to slip their minds.
They turned to go up the stairs, waving hello to Moody as they passed him by a portrait of a rather disgruntled looking man in a bonnet. At least they thought it was a man… they weren't entirely sure. Anyways, the debate was old news so they really didn't see any reason to bring it up again.
"Oh!" Hermione cried, slapping herself in the forehead. She did so a little harder than intended so it took a few minutes before her eyes went straight again. The other two waited impatiently, one foot on the stairs.
"Well?" Ron bellowed after another moment.
"Oh!" Hermione said making to smack herself in the head again but then, thinking better of it, lowered her arm. "I forgot about a book I was going to get in the library. I'll meet up with you two later on!"
"I still say she's bloody mad." Ron said as he and Harry began to trudge up the stairs together. He shot little glances at his friend who continued to look upset.
"It's probably better she avoids me. She'll be safer that way and it's not like I'm much fun to be around." Harry said sullenly.
"Hermione's avoiding us?!" Ron exploded, completely ignoring the line about Harry being not much fun. It was true lately, after all. Ron's ear turned pink and he looked angry.
"Oh don't be silly Ronald!" Harry said and trudged a little faster, skipping up the stairs. Ron gazed after him confused. Only Hermione (and his mum but he would never acknowledge that) called him that. Harry's mood swings were positively annoying he decided before shuffling after his friend. He was so busy saying hi to Moody, who passed him going down the stairs, that he forgot about the trick step and fell face first.
Hermione burst dramatically through the double doors of the library. Looking important, she stomped her way to the back section on magical creatures. She greeted Moody, who happened to be looking in the hexes aisle, as she passed and then settled herself in front of the huge book cases containing all the magical creatures… well, their books of course, not themselves.
She found several books on Vampires and staggered with them over to what she thought was an empty table in the corner of the big fancy library. She settled and buried herself in a book entitled "Charming the Vampires" which she found incredibly interesting. She had a secret fascination with vampires. Of course, she'd never confess it. Lupin wasn't a fan of vampires… so no one else was really supposed to be either. Plus, they were somewhat dangerous what with the ability to put people in trances and suck their blood and all.
"Mudblood, what are you doing at my table Mudblood?" came an angry hissing voice. Hermione winced and looked up at the ultra sexy Slytherin sex god Draco Malfoy. His cold eyes were narrowed into angry slits and his usual slicked back hair was, well, slicked back of course.
"I was reading. I had no idea this was your table." She retorted. "It's not like your name is on it."
"Ahem." he said pointing. In large letter the name Draco Malfoy was carved into the table. He laughed a little. "So, Mudblood, you best be leaving, Mudblood."
Her eyes brimmed with tears and she clenched her fists before slamming the book down and getting up. "Fine! Stop calling me Mudblood or you'll regret it ferret face."
"Oh yeah Mudblood? What are you going to do about it Mudblood." It was like the word was permanently engraved in his vocabulary or something. Anyways, Hermione couldn't think of anything to say in reply so she grabbed up her books and turned to stalk away. She heard Draco yell after her "I love you Mudbloood!"
Hermione just sighed and stalked away to the great hall with her hoard or books. It was dinner time and even now her stomach is rumbling. Don't you hear it? Anyways, she said hello to Moody on her way through the doors and then sat down beside Ginny and across from Harry and Ron.
"There you are." Ginny said looking relieved. "I thought you had disappeared. Harry mentioned that you went off to the library earlier cause I talked to him cause I wanted to know where you were. Then we talked about quidditch and how Dean is being really silly about all the soccer/quidditch stuff…."
Hermione tuned Ginny out, knowing she would be discussing Harry, Dean, possibly Seamus, some other guy, then back to Harry. Instead she looked at Ron who was looking at her in this hurt sort of way. "What is it Ron?"
"You're not avoiding me and Harry, right?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing together in his usual look of angry/confused/worry. Hermione sighed.
"Oh course not Ronald!" She said and with that she pushed her plate away and stood announcing she had to go do work. The others stared after her and then at each other bemused. She ignored all of them and left, being watched by a very pompous Slytherin with gray eyes across the room.
Hermione walked down the hall with that air of importance like she had earlier in the library. She made a slight detour to the prefects bathroom, making sure to greet Moody who was inside looking at himself in a mirror. Then after making sure the small spot on her shoe was cleaned off she whisked away up to the astronomy tower. As she went up, Moody came down looking thoroughly disgruntled. Hermione wondered why until she reached the top.
"Ah Mudblood, just who I didn't want to see, Mudblood!" came a very unwanted, rather annoying silky voice from one of the windowsills. Draco was sitting on one, playing with his wand lazily as he stared out at the giant squid in the lake. He had a secret fascination with the giant squid in the lake. He kept it secret of course because no one else did so he really shouldn't either.
"What do you want Malfoy?" Hermione grumbled. She sat herself down by one window and let the moonlight illuminate the vampire book so she could read.
"You are asking me what I want, Mudblood? You intruded on me Mudblood, not the other way around… Mudblood." He informed her. H slid down from his seat in the windowsill and came to read over her shoulder. His pale pointy face went even paler. "Mudblood, this is a book on how to get a vampire to like you."
"Yes."
"Why on earth would anyone ever want that?" he wondered out loud to himself. Then, realizing his mistake he said, "Mudblood."
"I have my reasons." She said turning away from him. "Do you mind? Your sexiness is distracting me from my book."
"I'm not sorry Mudblood." he promised, trying to stand in front of her again.
"Of course you're not, now move!" She said with a dramatic sigh. She began to stand up but he still blocked her path. She tried to side step around him but he moved easily with her. Must have been all that seeker work. Huh.
"Admit it, you're attracted to me Mudblood." he said with his usual over confident smirk as he continued to step with her, blocking her way out. They looked like they were doing some sort of funky dance up there in the astronomy tower.
"Oh God, I can't get you out of my head!" She said, finally able to admit it but covering it over with a thick layer of sarcasm. "It's like the herbal essence orgasm just thinking about you!"
"The what?" he asked, truly looking confused. This time and this time alone so far he forgot to tack on the word 'Mudblood' His eyes had widened at the reference to orgasm and the excitement in her voice. He completely forgot about the sarcasm. Some things a Malfoy could always afford to overlook and one was sarcasm. Unfortunately, this tended to leave them as the butt of many jokes.
"You heard me." She said, not caring to explain what Herbal Essence was. In his shocked state she easily stepped around him and stomped to the stairs. Honestly, couldn't the girl just walk light and gracefully, just once?
He raised an eyebrow as he turned to look at her. "S-So you are attracted to me then, eh Mudblood?"
She whipped around so that her wild hair was flying like mad in the wind coming through one of the many windows. Her eyebrows waggled dramatically about over her eyes and she said sharply, "No." before stomping down the steps.
"I love you Mudblood!" Draco called yet again.
Hermione ignored him and stormed down the corridors like a girl on a mission. It was close to curfew and she would not be caught roaming the halls because of Malfoy. Besides, she knew Moody would be just waiting for something like that. So she wandered her way down the windy corridors and took a shortcut behind a tapestry, bidding goodnight to Moody who lurked there, and was soon back in the safety of Gryffindor tower.
"'Mione, do my homework!" Ron whined as soon as he saw her walk through the portrait hole. She glared at him sharply and he cowered away adding, "Please?"
"Oh for Heaven's sake!" She snatched it up and glanced over it. Then she handed it back. "Your spelling is off and you sound like you're whining with Snape to give you an A. Take some of those hints about your failing grade out of there or he will be more than happy to give you an F."
"Wont you just rewrite it?" Ron whined.
Hermione leaned forward and put a hand on his. Her eyebrows wiggled as she tried to convey the importance of what she was saying. "Honestly Ronald, you need to take this seriously. I wont always be there to do your work for you."
"Says who?" He whimpered. Harry just stared into the fire, ignoring them.
"I wont." Hermione repeated before getting up. "I'm going to bed. Good night!"
"Moody is not the real Moody, I'm telling you…" Harry answered.
"'Mioneee…." chimed in Ron.
Hermione sighed and went upstairs without another word. She flopped over on to the bed, careful not to crush her humongous cat and curled up under the covers. What a day for just another normal typical day at Hogwarts.
A/N- like it? Loathe it? Ahaha review and tell me all about it! Depending on the reactions I may add more I think. It was fun to write nonsense dribble. Thanks.