A/N: My second Moonlight fic. Hope you enjoy – please R&R! p.s. i own nothing...not even mick. tear
Beth wasn't entirely sure where her feet were carrying her, but she didn't bother to question them. It was just that she couldn't be in her apartment anymore. All she could think of was the last night she'd spent with Josh. She kept having nightmares – it had been two weeks and they just wouldn't stop. It was always the same, she would be lying with Josh in bed and he would roll on top of her to kiss her. Then suddenly he would collapse and his body would be covered in blood. She cried for help but no one could hear her, then he gasped out her name and when she looked at his face again, it was that of Mick, gasping her name and dying. And suddenly she was paralyzed, and all she could do was lay under him and watch the light in his eyes…those sad, beautiful eyes…fade away.
Mick didn't know who would be knocking on the door of his apartment at 3am. His first thought was that it was Beth, but he told himself to stop being so stupid. She hadn't spoken to him in weeks, there was no reason she should suddenly turn up. He needed to stop hoping. It only hurt more when he was let down. Pulling on his boxers, he jogged down the stairs and froze when he saw who was in the hall. He had to be dreaming. She wouldn't really come here…would she?
Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and came face to face with Beth. For a moment they stood there in silence.
"Um, can I come in? I know it's late so I mean I understand if…"
"No, no, it's all right," Mick said quickly, "come in."
Beth slid past him and he caught a small whiff of her scent. Flowers, vanilla, mixed with something slightly spicy. He shut his door and turned to look at her.
"I don't know why I'm here," she started, beginning to pace, "I know we haven't talked in weeks and I thought I never wanted to see you again but I can't sleep in my apartment anymore, I can't do anything. I can't function. And when I do sleep I have these horrible nightmares. Nightmares about Josh dying and then he becomes you and I can't do anything, all I can do is watch you die," she was starting to cry now, talking faster, "and it happened again tonight and I just couldn't stand to be there anymore I couldn't keep living that over and over and it's hurting me so badly and there's nothing I can do so I just left and I ended up at your door and it's 3am and... I shouldn't be here."
Beth stopped pacing and faced him, wiping a tear away from her face and hating herself just a little bit for not being stronger.
Mick didn't say anything. Instead, he walked over to her and put his arms around her. He didn't know if she would let him. He didn't know if she still hated him for what he had let happen to Josh. But he knew that he couldn't stand to see her this way. The pain she was feeling was something he couldn't protect her from, and he wanted nothing more than to make it better. He held her more tightly, almost believing that he could make it okay again.
Tentatively, slowly, Beth slid her arms around Mick and sank into his embrace. She clung tightly to his strong back, wishing that everything could just disappear.
"I shouldn't need you," she whispered, so softly that he could barely hear her, "I should be strong enough to handle this on my own. I should hate you for what happened."
"Do you?" Mick asked, pulling away slightly and looking into her eyes.
"I could never hate you," she replied, turning away from him, "I've tried. But I can't," her voice became a little louder, "But I shouldn't be here. I should be somewhere else. I should be able to deal with this. Why does it hurt so much?"
Beth leaned against the staircase and shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts and torn between the desire to go and the need to stay. A few seconds later, she felt Mick's hand on her shoulder.
"I just don't understand," she said, "I don't understand how I can hurt this much for so many reasons and go on living. It doesn't seem right. And I should be able to handle this. I'm expected to get through what's happening."
"You can't do everything yourself Beth. Everyone needs help. Everyone needs someone."
She turned again to look at him, "And what about you?" she asked, the tears still in her eyes, "you don't need anyone."
Mick shook his head, "you're wrong," he replied. Before he could stop himself, he reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Beth's ear, "I need you Beth."
Beth looked at him for a long time before reaching out her hand to trace the side of his face and letting it drop to his arm.
"I'm so scared," she whispered, "of this, of what happened, of everything. I don't want to hurt this way."
"I know," Mick replied, sliding his arms around her waist and hugging her against him, "But it will be okay. I don't know how but I'll make it okay."
And Beth found herself believing that maybe she could get through this. Somehow it might be okay. If only for tonight, while she was in his arms.
