Hey guys,
I finally tore myself away from my writer's block funk to write a bit of Caryl. This is a simple oneshot that follows "Disruptor", although I'm hoping Alamo Girl and I can come up with some more tie-ins to keep the Roses-verse going.
Breaking out of a dreaded Block is never fun. Please be patient and thanks for everything so far!
As always, I own nothing. Except Mike. Yall' remember Mike, right? ;)
Enjoy and review if you'd like.
The blaring sun brought intense heat down onto her skin, but Carol smiled nonetheless as the scent of flowers assaulted her nose. The fields beyond the camp were filled with wildflowers- most of which she would have once called 'weeds'- but this day, just as the day before it, she relished the sweet smell and bright yellows, reds and purples that dotted the green in the distance.
She had finished cooking lunch for the camp when she heard the sharp sounds of an angry infant coming from Rick and Lori's cabin.
The couple emerged seconds after the first screech, Rick gazing helplessly as his wife coddled little Sophie and bounced her slightly as she walked down the path. Carol forced back a grin. It was one of those days, when the heat was simply too much and the tempers of even the smallest of them could flare.
Carl looked on from the lakeside, fishing rod in hand, before pulling it up from the water and reeling in his line.
Carol stood from the pot she stirred and raised her voice slightly to announce the midday meal,
"Lunch is ready, everyone!"
As if from nowhere bodies began to appear: Shane stomped towards the sound of her voice from the edge of the lake, where he had apparently been "Watching the tree line." Carol knew he was more likely watching Carl fish, his desire to play father to the boy not quite discouraged completely by Rick.
Glenn and Maggie sidled next to the picnic tables and eyed the food hungrily, already prepping their plates and looking much like children as they did so.
T-Dog appeared seconds later, Mike at his side, and the two wasted no time in scooping the dehydrated mashed potatoes onto their plates.
Mike took the time to smile and offer a small "Thanks, Carol."
She handed him a fork and nodded.
As Andrea patrolled the grounds, the rest of the group settled down to eat.
Carol began fixing Daryl's plate when she realized he was nowhere to be seen.
She recalled him leaving a few hours before, intent on hunting down something larger than squirrels. Apparently, their one and only barbeque had spoiled even him.
The hunter wanted more of the big game.
"He seemed ready for an extended hunt this time, Carol. Might not see him till' tomorrow." Rick's ever-observant eyes had caught her concern, and his words did nothing to ease them.
Daryl had not mentioned going on a long hunt.
Swallowing a breath she met Rick's steady gaze and tried to smile.
She was not Daryl's keeper. And there was no reason to worry over a man that could take an arrow through the side and a bullet to the skull and still kick like a mule.
Suddenly not hungry, she shifted her attention to the still-squalling infant in Lori's grip. The woman's eyebrows were drawn tight, her lips pursing to emit a constant, light 'shhhh' sound in an attempt to calm Sophie down.
Lori's food sat untouched.
Carol stood and approached the exhausted mother.
"I can take her for a bit; give you time to eat and rest."
Without hesitation, Lori proceeded to mumble her gratitude and thrust the girl into her arms. Rick nodded her way as Carol passed him by with the crying baby in hand, and Carl likewise tipped his hat.
The Grimes family needed a few minutes of peace.
Sophie continued to grumble and squeal in her arms, obviously agitated with the heat.
Carol was certain Lori had taken a moment to check the girl's diaper the moment the fussing began; nonetheless, maternal instinct demanded she thread a finger along the back edge and peer down herself.
Nothing.
She bounced the child as she walked towards an empty lawn chair near the lake, humming softly as she had once done with Sophia (and it felt like a lifetime ago)…
By the time she reached the water's edge and settled into the chair, Sophie had quieted down to a low whine, the little one's cheeks reddening with both the offensive heat and her own fussing to blame.
Carol sat and looked her over, noting the baby tee that grew damp with the humidity.
She immediately stripped it, leaving Sophie in nothing but her diaper. The heat of the day chased away the mosquitoes for now, but the poor child would be suffering in hot clothes once again as soon as the evening cool set in.
Sophie's whining stopped the moment the shirt came off, and Carol smiled in her victory.
"Much better, huh? You're lucky, sweetie…I wish I could just strip down to my underwear when it gets too hot."
A tiny smile sprouted at the sound of her voice, the baby's plump little fingers reaching forward to grab at her own, and Carol felt her heart flutter and begin dropping simultaneously as she bounced Sophie on her knees, eliciting giggles that brought buried memories rushing back and cracking her good spirit.
It was in Sophia's infancy that Carol had begun to see Ed's true nature; the moment the baby was born he was a harder man, intolerant of the smallest of sounds from his baby daughter, impatient and easily frustrated. Carol remembered tucking away in the bathroom with Sophia on the worst nights, humming to the crying child and often finding herself awarded with smiles and little laughs. Even those drove Ed to shout at her to keep Sophia quiet, but on those worst nights, Carol did not care.
Her baby was laughing. Ed's booming voice was but a whisper through the wall.
She smiled down at Lori's little one and cried in silence, bouncing the girl slightly and choking on a quiet sob every time Sophie laughed.
For months she had held it inside, this pain of her memories, driving it deep and away to better focus on helping Lori care for her infant in this horrible, hard world. She had to laugh and shake her head at herself even as the tears streamed; of all the things to break her now, it would be a baby's giggling.
Not a Walker attack.
Not the recurring nightmare of her daughter shambling from that barn.
But this. Something wonderful and innocent, something beautiful and pure.
She loved and hated her memories in that moment, but did not force them away. She kept bouncing the laughing baby and kept crying as she did so, and she smiled all the while.
Until a sudden heat crept against the back of the chair, stilling her knees as a hand landed firmly on her right shoulder.
Firm and gentle, she realized.
The soft grunt against the back of her head confirmed her suspicion and she relaxed when a voice whispered into her hair:
"You okay?"
She stopped sniffling the moment Daryl spoke, decided she would ponder on his ability to give her such sudden strengths later, and bent her head down to look at the baby in her lap as she replied,
"I'm fine…"
Another grunt, louder than the last, was Daryl's way of calling out her lie. The fingers on her shoulder tensed and then relaxed, sliding along the bone that protruded out from beneath the tank-top strap and sending a shiver down her spine.
She did not look back at him.
She didn't want him to see the wet lines on her cheeks.
"Y'sure?"
The gentle fretting in his tone brought a very different smile to her face, and she ducked her head deeper to hide it as well. On her knees Sophie had stopped laughing, but continued to play with her hands. Tiny fingers gripped hers with a strength that should not be possible for something so small.
The baby was healthy. In a world where death was as normal and expected as the sun rising and setting, this baby, Rick and Lori's baby, the group's baby, was strong and happy and safe.
Carol pushed those bittersweet memories back to the dark corners of her mind where they belonged, and laughed lightly.
Behind her, she felt Daryl exhale in both relief and confusion.
She nodded then, reaffirmed.
"I'm sure. I'm okay. I was just…thinking back. But I'm fine. I promise."
She felt Daryl shift behind the chair, and watched as his left hand snaked around into her field of vision, toward her lap. The fingers on her shoulder flexed against the bone beneath them and his left hand froze in the air, hovering but a few inches away from the baby that continued to play with her. Daryl sniffed behind her, exhaled heavily, and pulled the suspended hand back a bit to land on one of her arms instead, giving her wrist a small squeeze.
"I killed a few hares. Was gonna stay out the night, hunt again tomorrow…but decided against it. Deer ain't comin' out in this heat anyhow."
"Gonna go clean em'. Show the new guy how it's done." And with a final puff of blazing breath against her neck he was gone, footsteps landing on the cement trail leading back up to the cabins and retreating quickly.
Carol felt a heat swell in her chest, and she leaned in to place a kiss against Sophie's silken head, a final tear escaping despite her new calm. For a moment she marveled at Daryl's show of tolerance for both the baby and their new group member; it had only been a few short weeks since Michael had come stumbling into their lives.
It was enough for her that Daryl had not tried to kill the man so far. But to volunteer to teach him something was….
Unheard of.
About as unheard of as Daryl Dixon voluntarily showing affection to a baby.
She laughed and stood from the chair, Sophie noisily responding to the sudden movement.
"Let's get you back to your mom, sweetheart."
He often took first watch, allowing Dale much needed time away from the roof of the RV. Carol had gotten used to him coming in late. Most times she did not hear him, but instead awoke at dawn to his prepping to head out again, crossbow slung over his shoulder and ready to feed the hungry assortment of people they now called family.
She was still awake when he came in, and the light steps climbing the ladder of the Winnebago told her that it was likely Andrea or Glenn relieving him of his watch.
After a few moments taken to remove his dirty clothes and shove them into a pile to be washed the next day, she heard him settle down in his usual spot on the floor next to her, a tired sigh betraying him.
Carol pulled herself onto her side and squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself into sleep.
"Hey."
His voice whispered to her ears and she looked down into the blackness over the edge of the bed, just barely making out his figure.
"Hm?"
"….Figured you were still awake. Ya' alright now?"
A lingering surprise at his attentiveness and worry stilled her voice, and she could hear Daryl breathe hard in the silence between them.
For a moment she considered not responding at all. He was obviously tired, and she needn't keep him awake with her nonsense…
A hand reached up to tap at her arm and she jumped slightly at the unseen touch.
"You hear me?"
"Yeah. I'm okay. I just…miss Sophia. Sometimes it's hard, looking at Lori's little girl and knowing I'll never see mine again… but I'll be fine. I will."
Silence was her response and Carol swore he had even stopped breathing. Mention of Sophia's name was a quick way to put Daryl in a sour mood, and she regretted it instantly.
The sick flutter of her heart started up again and she wanted to resume that good cry she'd so thoroughly enjoyed before-
"You'll see her again."
Carol heard him, loud and clear, and yet swore to herself she had imagined it.
She smiled and leaned over the edge of the bed.
"I thought you didn't believe in Heaven."
He huffed below her and her adjusted eyesight found him rolling away from her, pulling an old sheet over his shoulder.
"Never said that. Now go to sleep."
She watched his back for a long minute, stunned and impressed.
He continued to surprise her, and so far, none of those surprises were disappointing ones.
She awoke to the same shuffling of his feet down the RV, the same rattle of his arrows in their quiver. Only this time, those shuffling feet were shuffling towards her and not away, the rattle of arrows so close she could swear he was….
She opened her eyes to find him standing over the bed, dressed and ready, face still dirty from the day before.
She blinked a few times to clear her vision, just in time to see him bite at his thumb nervously.
"Thought we could go look for those arrowheads after I get back…"
She smiled sleepily.
Never disappointing.
"Sure."
He gave her a small quirk of his lips and turned away, and she looked up at the window to find daylight just barely breaking the grey haze of night.
His footsteps stopped and the door to the RV didn't open.
"By the way…"
Carol blinked, fully awake, and sat up to find him hovering at the door, looking down the hall at her.
She saw him grin and blinked again.
"If it were just you an' me, you could do that any day."
She cocked her head at him.
"Do what?"
He opened the door, grey-yellow light enveloping his body.
The wings on his vest seemed to glow as he turned to head out.
"Strip down to yer' underwear."
Darkness filled the cabin as the door closed behind him, his words leaving her flushed and grinning.
If Heaven was as real as she hoped, she firmly believed it had sent her its most unconventional angel.