I was worried to death about Sam and Dean. Sam had escaped Bobby's panic room and sought out the demon, Ruby, anxious for some demon blood and hot to stop Lilith from breaking the final seal. Dean had gone after him and gotten into a huge fight with Sam, who left when Dean told him that if he walked out the door he could never come back. Bobby'd almost talked Dean into trying to work something out with his brother, but then Dean had disappeared. The next time we'd heard anything that we thought might be related to them or the final seal was when there was an explosion at a convent in Ilchester, Maryland. We saw that on television, and we couldn't be sure it was them, but we thought it probably was.

Bobby made me go to bed even though I was worried, and I thought I wouldn't get any sleep at all, but after a long time lying in Bobby's bed, crying, and staring at the shadows of paint flecks on his ceiling, I eventually fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. Bobby let me sleep myself out. When I finally woke up, I slipped out of Bobby's rumpled bed and headed downstairs expecting to find him sleeping on the couch. The old clock on the wall in the kitchen said it was eight a.m., and Bobby wasn't on the couch. I did a quick search around the living room and dining room. Since I didn't hear him moving around upstairs, I called down into the basement, and when no answer came, I pulled my shoes on over my bare feet, pulled a coat on over my pajamas and went outside.

I found Bobby at the front of the salvage yard loading bags of charcoal into the Impala. Shivering as a cold gust of wind blew through my thin pajama pants, I clutched the coat around me and strode over to lean against the side of the car.

"Bobby?" I asked as he came up out of the trunk and saw me. "What's going on?"

Without pausing, Bobby bent to pick up another bag of charcoal from the ground. "Got a call from Dean," he said. "Both he and Sam are ok. He wants us to drive towards Baltimore and deliver his car." He settled the bag of charcoal in the trunk and closed it.

My eyes got wide. "They're ok? Really?"

"That's what I said, ain't it?" Bobby asked, brushing his hands off and tilting the brim of his hat back.

I screamed in excitement and started bouncing around the car, thrilled, relieved, and suddenly full of energy with no idea what to do with it. "Oh, Bobby! That's awesome! I've got to call Dean and get the whole story from him! I can't believe it!"

"Whoa, girl," Bobby said gruffly. "Stop bouncing off the walls." I bounded over to him, a huge, uncontrollable grim splitting my face. I could tell he wasn't actually annoyed because the corners of his mouth were twitching when I landed solidly in front of him.

"When are we leaving?" I asked breathlessly.

"Soon as you get your butt in the house and get your stuff packed," Bobby grumbled, still fighting that grin, but he didn't have to say anything else. I took off for the house as fast as my half-tied shoes would let me. "Be careful, kid, or you'll fall on your face!" Bobby called after me.

Twenty minutes later, I was dressed and packed, making sure to grab the stake from Stelmužė Oak that had been delivered from Lithuania. I'd even made Bobby's bed. He wasn't back in the house yet, so I hoisted my bag and headed out to the car. It was warming up nicely out. Bobby had the hood open and was checking the engine when I got back to him. He reminded me that Dean's stuff was still inside, so I left my bag with him and went to pack Dean's stuff up. By the time I got back out to the car with Dean's bag and the Sam's laptop bag, it was almost nine. It had taken me longer to find Dean's stuff and I was antsy to get on the road.

Luckily, so was Bobby. He had the car running, so I tossed Dean's stuff in the back seat and climbed into the front, and we were off.

The minute we hit the road, I pulled out my cell phone and called Dean. He answered with a gruff and hopeful, "Jessie?"

"Hi, Dean," I said in a little voice.

"Hi, sweetheart." His voice softened. "You with Bobby?"

"We're on our way. We just left Bobby's house. Bobby said that it's going to take us eighteen hours to get to Baltimore…"

"We're headed to Chuck's house right now, see if we can find Cas," Dean said. "I'll let you know where we end up, but you can aim in that direction."

I swallowed hard. "I miss you, Dean. It scared me to death when you just disappeared."

"I didn't want to leave, believe me," Dean said. "The angels took me." Dean went on to explain that he'd ended up in an angelic "green room" that was done up like a palace and had art all over the walls. Then Cas had shown up and got him out of there, transporting him first to Chuck's so they could find out where Sam was and then to the convent where Sam was to try to stop him. Dean hadn't been able to, but had burst in after Sam had killed Lilith, although not before the final seal has been broken. Then the two of them killed Ruby, who had been lying to Sam the entire time, and then something weird had happened and they'd just disappeared and ended up on a plane.

I had the phone on speaker at this point so that Bobby could hear, too, and I looked at Bobby. He just shrugged. "Who got you out?" I asked.

"We don't know, sweetheart. Sam thinks maybe angels…"

"Ok," I said, unsure of what else to say. The relief that they were both alive was so huge I didn't know how to express it. "Sam's ok?"

Dean paused. "Far as I can tell," he said stiffly. "Listen, sweetheart, I've gotta go. I'll call you or Bobby when we get settled."

"In the meantime, we'll head east," I said. "I love you, Dean."

"I love you, too."

"Will you tell Sam I love him?" I asked.

"I will. Bye, kiddo."

We hung up and I looked at Bobby. We drove until night fell, stopping for meals and bathroom breaks. At around nine, Bobby declared that he needed some sleep and Dean could wait until the next day for his precious car. I pouted but it wasn't like I could drive and I could tell Bobby was exhausted. We checked into the next motel we found, Bluebell Inn, and Bobby set me up to burn the charcoal he'd brought. I got ready for bed and when I came out, Bobby was pouring himself a tumbler of whiskey from a beat up old flask he had. I pulled the blue bedspread back on one of the beds as he took a swig from the tumbler.

"Why have you and Dean been drinking so much, Bobby?" I asked quietly when he set the tumbler down.

Bobby screwed the lid back on the flask and set it next to the glass. He looked uncomfortable. "Never mind that," he grumbled at me. "I'm an old man. You need anything before you go to bed?"

I shook my head and climbed into bed as he went to the room door. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"Get something else to drink," Bobby mumbled, red faced, and left the room. I frowned, confused, and looked at the glass on the table. No one had ever told me I couldn't drink. That's not entirely true. It just hadn't really come up. When I was kid, my parents would let me taste their wine, like a drop on my lips, but I didn't like that and so I didn't ask any more. I'd never asked Sam or Dean to try their beer or their drinks, and I'd never been tempted by it. Bobby's reaction made no sense to me. It was like he was ashamed of his drinking, but adults drank. I was confused.

I turned off the light next to my bed, chewing on my lip. The base was silver and thin, and the lamp shade was a giant blue square. At least when the light was off, I couldn't see the horrible lattice and blue flower wallpaper any more. What was it with inns named after flowers trying to make their rooms look like gardens? It was a bad idea. They ended up looking like fussy Victorian tea rooms. Blech. The room was far from dark with my light off. There was still the light over the table by the wall across from my bed and the light in the sink area. I put my head on the pillow, watching the door for Bobby's return.

I must've been more tired than I thought because I fell asleep, waking when I heard the key in the door. I sat up to see Bobby coming in with a two sodas and a bottle of water. "Where'd you go? Texas?" I joked.

He scowled at me. "I went for a walk, trying to figure how to answer your question, missy," he snapped. Stung, I closed my mouth, the smile melting off my face as he set the cans and bottle on the table. Then he slid his cap off and dropped it on the table next to them.

"Sorry," I mumbled. I glanced at his cap on the table. It struck me as a little weird. I'd only seen Bobby without a cap when he was pretending to be FBI on a hunt and he couldn't wear one and when he was sound asleep in an actual bed.

He turned and got a good look at my face, then rolled his eyes and sighed. "It's not you; it's me," he said. "Look, adults don't always drink 'cause they like the taste of alcohol. Sometimes they drink 'cause they've seen too much and it's done a job on their heads." He swirled his finger around his ear. "It's a way to handle the pain, to be able to sleep at night. I've seen too much. You'll understand when you get older."

I thought of Gabby and the fire and all the kids I burned and the girls who'd died and everything that had happened to me since I woke up and my house was on fire. I blanched a little. "I think I understand now," I muttered.

"Go to sleep now," Bobby said. "In the morning, we'll finish off the drive and find Sam and Dean."

"Ok, Bobby," I said. I closed my eyes and tried to obey, but it was impossible. It was another one of those nights, where my head was going too fast and every time I tried to fall asleep, I saw fire and burned girls and Jack Montgomery. I wondered if I would ever forget his name. It was as stenciled into my memory as each of the girls Gabby had killed when I wouldn't serve her, and each of the kids and teachers who had died in the school fire. So I tried to sleep and failed over and over. After jerking out of sleep for the fifteenth time by a bad dream, I sat up in the dark room. Bobby was curled up on his bed, fully dressed. He looked sound asleep. I considered trying to crawl into bed with him, but I didn't want to wake him after he'd snapped at me earlier, unsure of my welcome. Sam and Dean's clothes were out in the car and Bobby had the keys somewhere. I didn't want to go looking for them and possibly wake him either.

The things Bobby had said earlier had seared themselves into my brain. My eyes were drawn to the leather-bound flask sitting next to the empty tumbler on the table. Bobby had said that it helped him sleep at night. I glanced over at him, pretty sure he wouldn't approve, and then slid out of bed. I padded over to the rickety white table and poured a tiny amount of whiskey into the tumbler, not even enough to cover the bottom of the glass. Then I brought it to my lips and drank the amber liquid.

The scent was overwhelming and took my breath away, burning my lungs. I fought against gasping, not wanting that terrible stuff down my lungs, and swallowed hard. It burned all the way down into my stomach. Even after I swallowed it, it took a second for my lungs to stop burning enough that I could breathe. I gasped in air and set the glass down on the table with a clatter. There was noise behind me, and I whirled around certain I was caught. Bobby hadn't moved, though. Still in the exact same position even though I was sure I'd made enough noise to wake him. Thankful for my luck, I fought against coughing long enough to make it to my bed and bury my face in the pillow before choking.

When I was breathing easily again, I realized that the burning in my throat had stopped and now there was a warmth in my middle that hadn't been there before and I was starting to feel so very comfortable. My eyes felt heavy. I pulled the blanket up over me and rolled over with my eyes closed. Right before I went to sleep, I glanced at Bobby again through slitted eyes. Before they fluttered closed again of their own volition, I thought that I saw that he had turned over and was watching me. I thought about opening my eyes again to check, but my sleep fogged brain told me that I had nothing to worry about. If he'd seen me, he'd be hauling me out of bed right now, not letting me go to sleep. I let go of the thought and drifted off to an astonishingly dreamless sleep.