Through My Eyes

(A/N: Ooooooooooooooooooooh! I betcha nobody expected me, of all people, to write something like this!!!!! It's the world through Kikyo's eyes, but don't be deceived peoples! I'm bashin' 'er to hell an' back! --. An' she dies much more differently than she does in the manga, so that this time, you feel absolutely NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO remorse for her! So, read on Kikyo Haters, read on!

The Kikyo Hater

Warning!: This isn't the type of Kikyo Bashing that makes you laugh, giggle, snort, and accidentally send your chocolate milk all over the keyboard via your nose! This is the kind of Kikyo bashing that makes you want to shoot something small cute and fuzzily. Just wanted to warn ya…

Oh, and I'm postin' this thing in installments. That way I can rewatch/reread the parts I want to show in here… and I'm doing this by the Japanese translations… NOT THE ENGLISH ONES! They mispronounce have the stuff and the voices are outa wack! Want good InuYasha? Go to Goggle Videos and type in InuYasha 1 or InuYasha episode 1 and watch the one with yellow subtitles! … That being said, NOW you may read and want to kill something… Thank you…)

The Beginning

My fingers rub against the jewel in my hands. Eyes like decaying trunks (I like to think of them as beautiful, even if they frighten others) dart about distrustfully. It was a hasty decision, and I'm second-guessing myself, though I don't let it show on my face. I just want to be rid of the responsibility, though I know if I had thought it through more, I'd have chosen different. But I am a woman of my word, if nothing else.

Not to mention I am not about to look at a hanyou all my life!

Finally, I stand there, gazing out about me. A smile plays across my lips. The delight at having been allowed to sleep in slightly, even though others will have to do my work, makes my heart skip a beat. Sinning after a life of purity always feels good, no matter how small the sin is.

"He's late," I observe, keeping my face cheerful incase he's testing me, waiting in the trees to see if I really care; I don't. I just want to be rid of this stupid jewel. Damn those stupid yokai taijiya! Dumping the responsibility they couldn't take on me!

I shake my head. No, I shouldn't think like that. Perhaps spending all this time with him has made my heart soft. But I also blame him for making my mind more willing to say such things.

I pull out the seashell pendant he gave me. Opening it silently, I smirk at its contents. Lip paint. Though I know not, it will later be called lipstick.

Soon, ever so soon, though I shall regret it later, I shall be bound to him, and I want other men to want me too. Other men to be jealous. Maybe they will kill him and I shall be free of both him and the jewel.

A smile plays across my lips as I stick my pinky finger in the paint and start to bring it up to my lips. I never thought of that before, but hell, it works out. For me, at least.

Suddenly, claws dig into my shoulder and I cry out in pain, my fake cheery expression giving way to a surprised and panicked one. Blood flies out in front of me, and I close my eyes against the pain, the landing jolting my spine and what feels like my entire body.

Oh, how I wish I could just curl up and cry against this unbearable pain… But no. My pride won't allow me to do it.

Suddenly, as quickly as all sense left me, it comes back. The Shikon no Tama! It's just lying there, just out of my reach. Whatever it is will take it and I shall be made a fool of!

My hand reaches out but a foot slams down on it. One eye narrows as I wince, but I feel my heart stop. 'Nani!?'

I don't want to believe it. The red pants and tanned skin of the foot… just like his skin and hakama… And I thought he loved me… Even if I never loved him, I believed I was loved, and the feeling made my heart soar.

A clawed hand reaches down and picks up the seashell case, crushing it. A slight ringing blocks out what he says next. I am in shock. No. This can't be happening. Not to me. I don't care if it happens to anybody else, but to me? ME!? The protector of the Shikon no Tama? Kikyo, the ever loving and perfect woman? Hell no!

Then, the ringing stops. "Thank you for the Shikon no Tama. I shall destroy the village to taint it."

The pressure rises off my hand and he turns away. I bite my lower lip to keep the tears away. This can't be happening… This was NOT how it was supposed to happen! He was supposed to become human! We were supposed to be wed! He was supposed to die and I to be married to somebody better! I always knew I could do better, but I never thought he'd turn on me!

"I-InuYasha…" His name tastes sour in my mouth. "InuYasha… You… you… YOU TRAITOR!!!!!!" I want to scream out what he really is to the world. I shall have my revenge.

There he is, running away. I managed to drag myself away from the place where he attempted to murder me. I feel my stomach tightening as he shouts something. The ringing has begun again and I feel my hearing leaving me. I have not much time left now…

I summon my powers, but no. There isn't enough to kill him, only turn him human for a couple of hours or days or so. No… that isn't enough. I want him dead! DEAD!!!!!

I have only enough powers to seal him, so I shall do just that. It's the second thing down, as he is so powerful. But how do I grab his attention?

"INUYASHA!!!!!"

I see him hesitate, his tawny eyes turning to mine for a moment. He is off again. 'I trusted you,' I think just as I feel my fingers weaken and let go of the arrow. The whirsh of the feathers graze my cheek. I am forgetting my training; never hold the arrow so close to your face. But I hardly care.

It hits him perfectly in the chest and I have to force down a smirk. Even in death, I shall be the best archer the world has ever seen. Think you're better than me? Try being betrayed, attacked, bleeding and dieing, and fire an arrow pinning somebody to a tree? Never done it? I thought so!

I frown. It is slightly to the left of his heart. I was hoping I could kill him by hitting him in the heart, but no, I was slightly off. The bowstring thrums next to my arm and my brows are drawn in extreme displeasure. A soft breeze carefully brushes its hand across my cheeks, running its fingers through the ends of my beautiful hair, but I don't feel it.

I look to him again, looking for any trace of hatred in his depths. For the first time in my life, I feel slightly guilty, but I stomp on it. His hand lifts and he reaches out to me. "Ki-Kikyo… Bitch! How dare you-!" He is angry with me, but something in there; a deep pain and betrayal… How dare he…. Act as if I betrayed him!

His eyes begin to close, and I can tell he is struggling to keep them open, but my powers, the last of my powers, are taking into effect. It is putting him into an everlasting sleep, as I am soon to die. 'May you rot in hell,' I think, lowering my bow and narrowing my eyes at him as he goes limp against my arrow.

My knees threaten to give out as I stumble towards the Shikon no Tama. Letting my bow fall clumsily into the dirt, I slowly sink to the ground, one knee smushing the clean red hakama into the mud, the other propped up before me. My little sister, Kaede, screams out her title for me. I always grew angry at her for calling me 'Nee-san'. It is either Onee-sama or nothing.

"ONEE-SAMA!!!!" She is not alone. I bask in the attention, even as I am dieing. "Kikyo-sama?" another voice says, worry obviously on his tongue. "This is a horrible wound…."

"Onee-sama! This wound…" Don't the idiots get it!? I'm not going to live? Pitiful simpletons… No matter what, even if I am dieing, I shall always be smarter than them. That is why I am practically a goddess to them.

I put on a painfully sorrowful face, just for show. If truth be told, I don't really fear death. I fear nothing.

"My inexperience… is the reason for this wound," I explain, my voice shuddery and sad. I lean forward and pick up the cause for all this hatred and sadness; the Shikon no Tama. My fingers rub against its smooth surface once more as I hold it up. "All because of this Shikon no Tama…" I flinch as my arm protests my usage of it.

Perhaps… I could use it… But no… It is not only my duty of rid it of this world but-

"Onee-sama. Quickly, we need to treat-" Damn it, Kaede! You're disrupting my train of thought!

I know I shouldn't be angry at her; she is only trying to help, after all, but I am. I cannot use the jewel. It is my duty to rid it of this world, not to taint it, and the miko powers I could've used to heal myself are now gone.

I cut her off, wanting to push her away from me, but letting her put her grubby little paws on me. "It's to late already. So listen well, Kaede…" I turn towards her, not even looking at her. My fingers, which had wrapped about the Shikon no Tama, open slightly, revealing the small orb. "This… This Shikon no Tama… Burn it with my remains, so that it shall never fall into evil hands again."

There, how's that actin' for ya? I don't really care, one way or another, as to what happens to the jewel, but I wish to be remembered for my greatness, and this will be just that ticket.

I pull the jewel back to my chest, my eyes following its progress as my fingers close about it. My eyes, just as his had only moments before, blink once. I try desperately to keep them open, but I flinch and they force themselves closed. Then, everything is black and all I hear is my pathetic little sister's voice screaming my title.

"Onee-sama? ONEE-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

My soul feels the flames slowly lick against my body as it clutches the Shikon no Tama. An actress up until the end. Slowly, I let my thoughts die and settle on the jewel. 'Shikon no Tama… I shall take you with me to the other world.' Or whatever there is after death.

A voice is calling to me from my deep sleep. I like this sleep… It is nice. I don't need to worry about what is to happen tomorrow morning, or pretend that I care at all.

"No, don't say my name," I say, though I highly doubt whoever it is can hear me. But then, it hits me.

InuYasha…

I remember him standing somewhere, no doubt the hill above the village where I was born, framed against the sunset. My heart beats against my chest painfully. But… I have never seen that before… And what is that on his neck and by his side…? Beads of Subjugation and a sword? I never gave him or saw him with these trinkets…

I hear my name again…

"No, don't say my name," I say again, trying to go back to sleep. I feel something I have never felt before, but at the third time he says my name, the feeling is gone. I am shot into the air, then into a disgusting body.

But then, it is no longer disgusting. Anything I touch is no longer disgusting. Finally, I open my eyes, shaking away a slight feeling of uneasiness. My eyes roam around the small group… A kitsune, an old woman, an old mountain hag, a rather repulsive looking girl floating in some smelly water and…

InuYasha.