Hurt
Disclaimer: I do not own.
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel.
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real.
Jeff couldn't stand it. Two years. Two beautiful, wonderful years they'd been together. He'd been sure that he was The One. His heart felt as if it'd been torn from his chest. It probably had. He'd given it wholey and willingly to his lover. He had done everything he could to show him that he loved him. What had gone wrong?
The needle tears a hole
That old familar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
Had he come on too strong? Had he offended him in some unintentional way? Had he been too trusting? Too wreckless with his heart? Too trusting in the ways of human kind and blinded to it by his love? Why did it alway happen to him?
What have I become?
My sweetest friend.
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end.
First it was Shawn.Well he couldn't blame Shawn. Shawn hadn't meant to hurt him. But he did. Shawn taught him to do's and don'ts of the locker room. First DON'T say no to the Undertaker and the APA. Yeah well if he'd only been there BEFORE he and Matt did just that. He had a pretty good idea though that Shawn had spoken to Bradshaw and smoothed the whole thing over.
And you can have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt.
Then Hunter drove Shawn away. Hunter was loving, for a time. But sadly, it didn't last. As soon as someone better came along he was yesterday's news. Then there was Beniot, then Kevin, Bret, Adam, Jay, Bradshaw, Austin, Rock, even Taker himself at one point. But none compaired to what he'd been given.
I wear this crown of throwns
Upon my llyre's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair.
But Jeff didn't understand. What was it he'd shouted? Sleeping around? Well he had, but not since he'd gotten with him. How could he think so little of him? Is that why he'd dropped him like a bad habit? Because he though Jeff had cheated on him? He was nothing without his lover.
Beneith the stains of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here.
He took a knife from his bag and looked down at his arm. Scars and half-healed cuts marred his flesh. Well, it wasn't as if anyone cared about him. He was just a good piece of ass to fuck. No longer. Not again. His one love, gone. So what was left here for him? Nothing. Nothing whatsoever.
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
He set the cool metal of the blade against his pale skin. Nothing left, no one cares. It echos around the room, in his head, in his broken heart, in his shattered soul.
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt.
He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and drew the blade across the skin. The blood ran down his arm, Jeff opened his eyes and watched it pool on the floor around him. He watched his life's blood, deep crimson red, pooling there as if it were an interesting mud puddle.
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself.
I would find a way.
He placed the knife against his skin again, prepared to make another cut when a hand clamped down on the existing one and the other took his knife. Jeff looked up to see Chris Jericho looking at him in concern.
"Jeff, you idiot, what are you doing?" Jeff's head spun. What was going on?
"Chris. You... you came back. Why? I thought you hated me." Chris stared at him for a moment then took him into his arms.
"Jeffie, I could never hate you.I'm sorry Baby. Randy told me that you'd been sleeping around again and then I saw you coming out of Shawn's room, and after your history with him...?"
"Chris," Jeff stopped him."Shawn wanted to apologize to me, about before, the way he dropped me." Chris stared at him.
"Oh Jeff, I'm sorry. I hurt you and I made you resort to this. Oh God Jeffie I'm so sorry." He held Jeff close, afraid that if he left go that he'd lose him.
"I love you too much Jeffie, come on, we gotta get you cleaned up." Jeff nodded, stood up shakily, and let Chris lead him into the bathroom. Everything would be fine. He had everything he needed.
THE END