Title: So Much For Time Off
Author: Pacacapa
Rating: PG - I couldn't bring myself to leave out or butcher Eliot's favorite line...
Genre: Adventure, action, family
Length: ~9,300 words
Summary: When Parker and Hardison insist on accompanying Eliot on a personal job, they manage to get themselves in deep trouble and he's too far away to help. Hardison grifts, Parker plays hitter/hacker, and Eliot masterminds. Mid-season-3. No spoilers, but means a lot more if you've seen the season 3 finale.
Eliot hoisted his backpack over his shoulder and set out at a brisk but not too fast pace toward the front door. It was about time he had some time off, and he knew exactly how he was going to spend it: more work. Or, more specifically, the work he needed to do but couldn't, thanks to Nate's constant oversight and the ban on outside jobs. Not that he cared all that much what Nate said, and he had definitely done a few more jobs than Nate knew about, but this one in particular would take a bit longer than he usually had.
And, more than any other job, this one needed to stay secret. He wasn't ready to let the team into his past, into the person he had been before. They were criminals, but they were just thieves. They never hurt anyone. And he…. He would never be clean of the things he had done.
This side job was important to keeping his past buried, and making sure it never came to haunt the team. Which was why he was trying to leave as inconspicuously as possible.
Eliot smiled at the bartender as he made his way out of McRory's. The door was just ahead, and then he would be on his bike and on well on his way out of town.
"…And anyway, if you never try it, how are you gonna know whether it's any good?"
Eliot's heart sank. No, no, no, no. This was not happening.
"I'm pretty sure I don't have to try 'Spy Kids' to know they don't know anything about what they're doing."
"Parker, movies don't always have to be accurate to be…" Hardison trailed off as he and Parker came into view. Eliot felt his shoulders slump involuntarily. He knew what was coming. Hardison cocked his head at him. "Hey, man, where ya goin'?"
Eliot growled, trying to warn Hardison off, but he had a feeling this wasn't just going to go away. "Nowhere you're needed." He shoved by the hacker but found his path blocked by Parker.
"You're packed to travel." It was a matter-of-fact statement, in typical Parker fashion. He tried to ignore her, stepping to the side, but suddenly something leather was shoved in his face. A second later, he realized it was his wallet, with his I.D. for 'Jesse Cameron.'
He snatched for the wallet, but Parker whipped it away just in time.
"Give that to me." He pinned her with a nasty glare. There was no time for this nonsense - they had no idea what was at stake here.
As he reached for her hand again, she passed the wallet to Hardison. "Who's this then—" Hardison's face dropped as he saw the name. "I didn't make this alias."
The hacker wasn't nearly as fast as the thief, so Eliot grabbed his wallet back and stormed out the front of the bar. It didn't take a professional hitter to know he had a tail - two tails, actually.
"Hey Eliot!" Parker's perky voice only exasperated his mood. "Where are you going?"
"I'm working. Stay out of it."
"Are you stealing something? 'Cause I wanna help. Hardison too, right, Hardison?"
Hardison picked up his pace and caught up to Eliot. "Hey man, I know you do stuff on the side, but I didn't know you had other aliases. What's going on?"
"Right, Eliot, what he means to ask is if we can come with you."
Eliot growled as he reached his bike. "You're not coming, and that's final."
Parker pouted, before brightening up. "Yes we are, or I'm telling Nate."
Jaw clenching, Eliot glared at her. "What."
"You know Nate's rule - no outside jobs. We know you're going on a job, so if you don't take us with you, we'll tell Nate and you'll get in trouble."
Eliot stared her down, but the crazy thief seemed completely unaffected. When he glanced over at Hardison, he saw the hacker grinning at him with that stupid look on his face. He wasn't going to win this battle. With a sigh, he relented. "You can come along as long as you stay out of museums, major landmarks, public transportation, and anywhere else where you might get into trouble."
Parker squealed and ran off, calling something over her shoulder about packing. Hardison held out his hand for a handshake, but Eliot was in no mood for this.
"Don't leave me hangin', man!"
Eliot ignored him as he stormed toward his car.
Hardison directed his character aimlessly around the Blasted Lands, finding himself bored even with his beloved World of Warcraft. They had been in this hotel room for hours with little to do, and Hardison had already exhausted his favorite movies. When Parker blackmailed Eliot into taking them along, sitting in a hotel was not what Hardison had in mind. He doubted it was what Parker wanted, either.
One glance to the other bed confirmed his suspicions: Parker was a mess. Unable to sit still, she rolled and moved and adjusted every minute or so. Locks and picks were scattered all across the bed, as were wrappers for various candy bars.
After another minute of his game, Hardison shut it off and scooted to the edge of his bed. They needed an outing, and Eliot hadn't actually confined them to the room. He just said to stay away from museums, landmarks, and basically anything interesting. Still, they might be able to find somewhere worth visiting.
"So Parker, we've got an afternoon to spend. Where do you wanna go?"
That got her perked up. "Museum!"
He was worried about that. "Eliot said no museums."
Her face fell, but she nodded. "Right. And Eliot won't take us on any more field trips if we get tangled up in his job."
"Not to mention he'll break our fingers if we get in trouble and he has to bail us out." Hardison shuddered at the threat still hanging in his mind. "So, what's plan B?"
Hardison gazed longingly at the GameStop they had passed on their way to the food court. Happy as he was to have food in his stomach, they would definitely have to stop in there after lunch. The mall hadn't been his first choice or Parker's, but at least they were unlikely to find trouble here.
"Hardison, I've seen that guy five times today."
That is, if Parker stopped looking for it. "Of course we've seen the same guy. People don't come to a mall for ten minutes. We've been here at least as long as he has, right? Or you wouldn't have seen him."
She just glowered at him, convinced something fishy was going on. Pointedly, she stuffed an entire handful of fries in her mouth. "I still think he's following us."
Hardison rolled his eyes and took a bite of his burger.
An hour later, Parker jabbed her elbow into his side yet again as they passed a bulky man with a buzzcut, dark clothes, and a shifty look. Hardison was doing his best to avoid trouble but that girl was just determined to pull them in.
Unfortunately, it was working. There had been three strange-looking guys hanging around a nondescript pottery store all day, and Hardison was starting to get as curious as Parker. At first, he had tried to draw her away from that particular store, but he had finally relented and agreed to go inside.
Sure enough, there were lots of shady looking people hanging around. Hardison felt eyes on his back the whole time, and when Parker finally agreed to head back out, he hastily made his way toward the exit. One particularly burly man shifted into Hardison's way, and he found himself chattering nervously.
"Hey, man. We're, uh, we're just lookin' at these—" he picked up a random, surprisingly heavy vase nearby, "very fine, uh, pottery… things." The man narrowed his eyes. "And… uh…" He set the vase down and took a couple of steps to the side. "I can see you are into working out… that's cool, that's cool… I'm just gonna make my way over to…"
Another man stepped in Hardison's way and Hardison felt an involuntary shiver run through his body.
"You guys together? Okay, okay, we don' wanna get in your way, so we'll just move over there…". Hardison backed away, pulling Parker with him, and they moved to walk around the scary men with muscles.
"Two exits," Parker hissed in his ear. "Front door, air vent in the back room. Door behind you."
Hardison moved to glance over his shoulder and Parker jerked him forward. A third man stepped between Hardison and the front door, and his breath caught in his throat. This was a terrible idea - why had he let Parker drag him into this place? Eliot was going to be so mad…
It only took Parker a split second to bolt for the back room. Hardison dashed after her, throwing pottery off the shelves in an attempt to slow down the men who were now chasing after them. He crashed into the back room and had barely turned around before Parker jammed a chair under the doorknob to hold them off for just a couple of minutes.
Parker's expert fingers loosened the air vent and she was halfway up into it when she noticed Hardison scratching the back of his neck and staring at the door with wide eyes. "Come on! We need to get going!"
Hardison drew closer to Parker, dreading what he had to say. "I'm not going to fit." It was just a mall, not an industrial building. The air vent was barely big enough for Parker, but there was no way Hardison's shoulders were going to fit.
He was trapped.
Now nestled comfortably in the air vent, Parker felt her blood freeze at Hardison's words.
"I don't think I'm going to make it out.
Parker promptly popped out of the vent and back into the room. She wasn't going to leave Hardison behind, that was for sure. "Then I'm not going either. We'll figure this out."
Hardison shook his head as the door rattled ominously. "Listen to me, Parker. You have to go and call Eliot. I can't get out, but if we both get caught, he won't have any way to come and find us."
"But I don't—"
He grabbed her shoulders and held her eyes with his own. Parker felt her nervous energy suddenly put in check because of his focus. "I have my comm in, I always do. Go, get help, and track me down. I trust you, Parker. You can do this."
"I can't leave you behind!"
"I'll be okay as long as I know you're safe." Fists pounded on the door outside and it rattled again, louder this time. "Please, Parker. I can't handle both of us getting caught."
Parker felt herself beginning to fidget again, but Hardison squeezed her shoulders before letting her go and pushing her gently toward the vent. "Go."
Parker suddenly found herself feeling cold and clammy, and there was this weird sensation of heaviness in her chest. It was as if she physically didn't want to go. Unfortunately, she couldn't say 'no' to Hardison, and he made too good of an argument.
Almost as if she were watching someone else move her body for her, Parker felt the cold metal against her hands and the dust falling into her hair as she jumped back up into the vent. Silently, she slid through the vent with practiced ease.
Just behind her, the door banged open. Parker squeezed her eyes shut, dreading what they would do to Hardison, and just barely making out voices as she crawled away.
"Yo, man, I thought this was the bathroom, you know, I was just looking to use the bathroom…"
"Where's the girl?"
"She left, out the front, you know, the front door…and stuff… She's a lady, man, why would she want to come in the bathroom while a man's doin' his business?" Hardison's accent grew more and more pronounced as his worry grew, and it took all of Parker's willpower to keep going and leave him in the hands of those guys.
She was the one who dragged him into it in the first place.
"I see this isn't the bathroom, so I'm just gonna make my way out now. You gentlemen have a nice day…"
"No." The deep voice was unfamiliar, and filled with a finality that chilled her to the bone. She had to call Eliot, now, because she couldn't stand leaving Hardison in there.
As sounds of a struggle reached her ears, Parker felt her throat close up and her vision started to blur. Every inch she traveled carried her away, and even though her thief instincts told her to avoid trouble at all costs, that was Hardison back there. He was about the closest thing to family she had right now, and after all the people that had left her, she felt like trash for leaving him.
The only consolation was that Eliot was just a phone call away, and as soon as she couldn't hear Hardison and the creeps anymore, she would be safe to make that call.
Eliot would be here soon.
TBC