A Diary Will Make it Easier
My life has certainly changed in the past year. I was never aware of just how sheltered I had truly been. You think you know everything about your loved ones, but what happens when the reality you thought existed—you know? The one without monsters and things that go bump in the night. Yeah that one.—what happens when you wake up one day to find out that it doesn't exist, maybe never has? That there really are a bunch of things that should make you check in your closet and under your bed before you sleep at night. And on the rare occasion, maybe even leave a knife under your pillow while you lay in bed, I've seen it done before so don't think you'd be the first.
But the point of writing this, all of this…is to help make sense of everything that has happened. I love them, don't get me wrong, but I don't know if I could continue this life living it the way they do. So I got to thinking that if I write down all my thoughts it'll be easier to stay sane. A diary will make it easier.
It might sound bizarre, keeping a journal I mean. I doubt either Sam or Dean keeps a journal with all their deep personal feelings and experiences written inside, but who knows? Anything's possible with those two. Although, if I had to choose between them, knowing Sam I'd say he would be the more likely one to be carrying a diary hidden deep in his bag. He's more of the "diary-keeping-sensitive-pansy type" as Dean would put it. (If it was me I would have left out the pansy part.)