AN: The first of my late submissions for FT Angst Week!

Also, I just made it WAY longer and added some more angstyness to it. Let me know what you think! :)

Prompt: Scars/Bruises

Ship: NaLu

Come Back To Me

AU NaLu

By

Rising Chaos

"N-Natsu" She rasped, her breathing uneven. "Please" She stared into his sage green eyes, they were the eyes she fell in love with but they were different. His eyes were distant, as if he was in a whole other world and in a sense, he was.

"Natsu." She choked out again, this time as loud as she could. His fingers tightened around her neck and she could feel her lungs burning in protest at the lack of oxygen. She felt the warmness as her tears began to slide down her cheeks.

When they released him from the hospital they explained to her that this might happen, he might have flashbacks and he might act them out. He had had a few but none like this. She told him if he ever wanted to talk, she would be there, she would listen. Lucy had hoped he knew that already but after three weeks of barely any words spoken between them she felt the need to tell him. During his "episodes" He would go silent, and start to tremble but he never acted anything out. Not like he was doing now.

She focused on his eyes, the warmness that was usually there was replaced with complete and utter fear and hatred. She had never seen him with such dark emotions in his eyes. Natsu was like a kid in an adult's body. He was loud, goofy, and an insane eater. He was also fiercely protective and loyal, he would do anything for his friends. Which is why when the war started he was one of the first to volunteer. Lucy had begged him not to go, not to leave her alone. She pleaded with him until the day he left.

He promised her he'd come back in one piece. Physically he did. He had some new scars, even a scar on his shoulder from a bullet. Physically he was fine. Mentally, she didn't know where her Natsu went. Where her dragon loving fiancé had gone. In his place was someone cold and distant. He had been gone for two years, but she waited for him, every day praying he would make it back safe and sound. Now she wishes she would have also prayed for his mind to stay with him as well.

She's been patient with him, despite her protests she was proud of him. He risked his life for others, there was no way she wouldn't take at least some sense of pride in knowing that that's the kind of man her fiancé is.

Lucy could feel her conscious slipping from her, her life. She couldn't believe it, she's going to be strangled to death by the man who means everything to her. She moved one of her hands from his and cupped his face, her thumb brushing underneath his eye. "Come back to me." She whispered.

As his hand tightened around her neck, she silently forgave him. She knew he would come back with scars and she should have known that the worst ones would not be physical. She just never expected his scars to be the thing to take him away from her forever.

Just as Lucy thought she was taking her last breath, the pressure around her throat vanished. She opened her eyes again and slowly sat up as she sucked air back into her lungs. Her eyes scanned the room to find Natsu on the floor in front of the bed, panting heavily. He was staring at his hands, shaking.

She moved closer, the bed squeaked and Natsu's head shot up. His eyes met hers for a split second and then he scrambled further away from her. "Stay back." His voice was uneven; he refused to look at her in the eyes again.

She ignored him and inched closer to the edge of the bed, every move Lucy made, Natsu would back further and further away from her until his back hit the bedroom wall. She got off the bed and crawled to him.

"Natsu, it's okay." She said, her voice was hoarse and it hurt to speak but she didn't care. "It's okay. It's just me." She tried again.

Natsu shook his head wildly, his hands covered his face and he was beginning to dig his nails into his scalp. That's when she heard the first sob break loose.

"How… How can you say that?" Natsu started to yank on his hair. "How? I almost- I tried… Dammit." Natsu shook his head again, he slammed his head against the wall.

"Stop it!" She practically screamed. She straddled his hips, he fingers wrapped around his wrists as she tried to pry his hands away from his face. She felt his tear drops fall onto her knees, she pulled harder but he wouldn't give in. She felt her own tears beginning to surface but she stifled them, she would cry later. She needed to be there for Natsu now. Lucy knew if she left him alone, tonight would scar them both irreversibly and she refused to let that happen.

She tugged on his wrists again. "Please Natsu." When he didn't even acknowledge her she moved her hands to his and tried to remove his fingers one by one. She would do whatever it took to get him, both of them, through this. He's everything to her, she owes the world to him because he saved her from what her pathetic excuse of a life was.

"Get away from me." Natsu growled.

Lucy froze for a moment. Was he angry with her? She finally snapped.

"Like hell I will!" She yelled despite her throats protests. "I'm done letting you keep me in the dark, I'm done letting you treat me like I don't exist and I'm done standing by and watching us fall apart! So you're going to stop pushing me away Natsu Dragneel. You're going to let me in and we're going to get through this because we're in this together!" Lucy yanked on his wrists again but this time he let her pull his hands away only to grab her wrists and pin them to her sides. Natsu's cheeks were wet with tears but his eyes only showed fury.

"I tried to kill you Lucy! I almost did! HOW are we going to get over this? Huh!? What if I do it again! What if I don't snap out of it in time! What-"

Lucy captured his lips with hers, he didn't respond, he didn't even move. She kept kissing him though, she moved from his lips to his cheek to his forehead to his nose. Natsu stayed still. Lucy kissed his lips again. It was there first kiss ever since he got back and Mavis she missed his warm lips.

"Because I love you stupid." Lucy rested her forehead against his, "I love you."

Natsu stared at her for a moment before new tears started to fall, he let go of her wrists and wrapped his arms around her, crushing her into a hug and holding her tightly against his chest, he tucked her head under his. Lucy let him hold her like that as he cried, she couldn't move her arms so she lightly kissed his neck.

"I'm sorry, Lucy. I'm so sorry." He sobbed and began rocking them.

Lucy squirmed out of his grasp so she could look at his. She held his face in her hands as she wiped the tears away with her thumb. "No more pushing me away?"

"No more pushing you away." He promised.

"Good." Lucy smiled a little, she leaned in and kissed him again, this time he kissed her back, it was slow and tentative but it was a start. When they broke apart Natsu's eyes immediately went to her neck. Even in the dark he could see the bruises forming. He lightly traced his fingers against her neck. Lucy could see that he was on the verge of tears again but he cut her off before she could speak.

"I'm going to sleep in the guest bedroom for awhile."

"Natsu-"

"I won't keep you out anymore, I promised. But I don't trust myself right now. And you shouldn't trust me either." His fingers fell from her neck and he looked away from her. "I'm so sorry."

Lucy stayed silent for a moment. "Only for a little while. Okay?" She didn't want to be away from him, she was scared. He was hiding something and she could tell.

"Lock the door."

"Natsu-"

"Please. Just in case. I don't want to risk hurting you again."

There was something telling her Lucy shouldn't agree but she wanted to help him and if this got him to agree to open up to her, she would do it. She nodded her head. "Alright."

Lucy had only been in her room for fifteen minutes or so before she silently unlocked her door to get a glass of water from the kitchen. She was as quiet as she could be, she didn't want to wake Natsu up and there was a little voice telling her it was smarter to be quiet at the moment. There was also a gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her she should go into the guest bedroom.

Deciding to listen to her gut she slowly crept over to room, she put her ear to the door and she could hear some ruffling. She opened the door as quietly as possible. Her jaw dropped when she saw Natsu standing on the bed, his back facing her as he finished tying a noose, made from what looked like ripped up bed sheets.

Lucy had never acted faster in her life. Before Natsu could put the noose around his neck, she tackled him on the bed. Tears pouring down her cheeks but anger coursing through her.

"How could you!" She punched him in his chest. She hit him again and again and he just let her. He didn't move or say anything. She would've thought he was gone if she couldn't feel his breathing for herself.

"I can't let myself hurt you again." He said almost monotone.

"You doing this hurts me Natsu. You'd rather die then work things out with me, with us!" She screamed and she hit him again.

"If it means you're safe then yes."

"If you do this. I'll do it to." She threatened.

Natsu shot up, he grabbed her shoulders, "Don't you dare, you have so much to live for you can be happy again. I- I can't."

"You haven't even tried Natsu! These things take time but if you want to give up on us this way then I will too."

"I don't want to Lucy! I- I… I'm scared alright!? I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt you. I don't want you to be afraid to fall asleep because of me." Natsu was shaking.

"Did you ever think to ask me how I felt? I'm not afraid of you Natsu. I'm afraid of losing you. I just want you to come back to me. I know you won't be the same, I know the war changed you but that doesn't mean you can just give up! You don't die for your friends, you live for them. That's what you told me. Were you lying then?" Lucy challenged.

"Of course not-"

"Then don't you dare even think about killing yourself again. If you want me to be safe, if you want me to live, you'll live with me, like you promised when you proposed. Promise me Natsu." She locked eyes with Natsu, she could see the impact her words, her threat had on him.

"I promise." He said. Lucy could tell he meant it but part of her trust in him was shattered and she knew it would take some time for it to heal.

"You're coming back to bed." Lucy stated.

"Lucy-"

"You're coming back to bed Natsu." She ordered. There was no way she was letting him out of her sight again. No way.

"Okay."

Lucy took his hand and led him back to bed. She closed the door and locked it and pulled a chair in front of the door along with tying on her ring of keys to the chair and the door knob, should he try to move anything.

"You don't have to do that." Natsu said as he watched her from the bed.

"Just to be safe." She replied. She hoped he would simply keep his promise and not try anything that selfish ever again but she was worried.

She climbed back into bed and laid on her side facing him. Natsu rolled to his side to face her as well but his eyes immediately went to the bruise around her neck. Lucy could see he was getting worked up again.

"I'm fine Natsu." She reassured him.

Natsu shook his head, "I'm sorry Luce. For everything. I was just, I didn't want to drag you into my problems."

"That's exactly what I'm here for Natsu. I love you. All of you. The good, the bad, the messy, the extremely messy. This won't change that." Lucy brushed her nose against his. "Okay?"

Natsu only nodded his head, Lucy snuggled closer to him and he slowly wrapped his arms around her. It didn't take her long to fall asleep. "I love you Luce." Natsu whispered before he closed his eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.