So I thought it might be interesting to do a story from Ms. Kim's point of view. Now I don't really know what the deal is with Mr. Kim, but I'm going to say that he died. So here goes the story enjoy!
How should I tell her, how should I tell her? All through the day this question had been running through my mind. In an attempt to get it out I kept myself occupied with work, but it didn't help much. In fact it only made matters worse, I almost sold a genuine eighteenth century door knob to someone for a mere one hundred dollars. But how should I tell her?
The bell over the door pinged as someone walked in. I looked up and saw my daughter. She smiled and waved at the passing customer before entering. I began to walk towards her, prepared to tell her exactly what was going on when I saw the other girl behind her. Rory Gilmore had been my daughter's best friend since she moved to Stars Hollow. I have nothing against Rory, but that mother of hers makes me cringe. She had Rory when she was sixteen, sixteen. Lane is sixteen and I am prepared to do all that it takes to keep her from so much as looking at a boy. I couldn't tell Lane now, not in front of other people.
"Hello Mama," Lane called to me. I gave a slight nod.
"Hello, Ms. Kim," Rory called to me cheerfully. I looked her up and down, taking in the shirt with some awful head on the front, surely a worshipper of the devil. Her hair hung sloppily about her face. She contrasted greatly with my own daughter. My daughter wore a respectable button down shirt tucked into her jeans. Her hair was meticulously groomed so that not a strand was out of place. I was very proud. I realized that I had been pondering for a bit of time and Lane took it as being rude to Rory. She gave me a look.
"Hello, Rory." She smiled at me again.
"Well, we're going to go study Mama," Lane told me. The two of them turned to go, but I stopped them on the stairs.
"Take some soy muffins with you. Fresh from the oven," I called after them. I thought I saw Rory make a face, but my attention was redirected as I heard a crash from the corner. "Do you not look where you're going?" I called to the incompetent customer.
Dinner was a silent affair. Lane and I sat in the kitchen, the only sound was the clinking of our forks as they touched our plates. Three times I opened my mouth, prepared to tell her everything, but then the voice in my head would tell me to shut it and I would quickly put a bite of tofu in my mouth. Lane caught my eye once and smiled. I smiled back, but the thought didn't cross my mind to tell her again.
That night I lay in bed, thinking of the day and all my failed attempts to be honest with my daughter. I knew she had a right to know, but I just couldn't tell her. I was almost ashamed to admit it to myself. Immediately, I threw the covers off and kneeled down by my bed, head bowed. I prayed to God, asking him for forgiveness.
I was in the store the next day when someone walked in. He had neatly brushed dark hair and brown eyes. His white shirt was tucked tidily into his black slacks. He was the epitome of perfection. He smiled at me and I walked over to him.
"Excuse me miss, could you tell me where I could find a nineteenth century stool for my living room?" He grinned impishly. Cautiously, I looked around the store. There were no customers there, the room was deserted. Quickly, he pulled me towards him. His lips pressed on mine and my blood pounded in my head. Sheepishly, I pulled back from him.
"About that stool, Mr. Lee." I turned from him to begin sorting through the items in the store.
"You are one cold cold woman." He grabbed my hand and whirled me around to face him. Our gazes locked. His face was only a couple of inches from mine. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm not really here for a stool." He gave a brief smile and then kissed me again. We kissed for a few moments before I pulled back.
"Lane will be home soon," I explained to him.
"So I'll see you Friday?" he looked at me, expectantly. I was about to refuse him, but then he gave me a look and I melted.
"Fine, now go!" I urged him out of the store. As he drove down the road I saw Lane at the side of the house. She was with a boy. Tom Smith from down the road. I knew the boy and I really had nothing against him. He was a nice enough boy, good grades, respectful, I even think he went to church once in a while. But he simply was not good enough to date my daughter. I made sure to make plenty of noise on the porch. Lane gave him a quick peck, I cringed when her lips touched his cheek, before she ran to me.
"Hello Mama."
" Hello Lane."
"I think I'm going to Rory's to study today Mama."
"You spend entirely too much time at that house with Rory and that mother of hers." By now I had turned into the store and I began polishing things around the store. Things that didn't really need polishing.
"'That mother of hers' has a name. Lorelai. And she's a good mother, Mama. You're just mad because she has something that you'll never have, a relationship with her daughter." I turned to face Lane, her face reflected anger and resentment. Then her expression softened and she seemed to plead with me. "Rory and Lorelai have a relationship Mama. They talk to each other. They tell each other everything. Why can't we have that? What's so different about us?" For a moment I thought she knew. I thought she knew and that she was baiting me, waiting for me to tell her.
"Be back by eight." I turned and walked to the back of the store. She gave an angry sigh and then stormed out of the store.
That Friday I was home alone. Cleverly, I had tricked Lane into thinking that she had convinced me to let her stay at Rory's. I could just see her now, gorging on unnecessary sugar and fats. Watching movies that would corrupt her mind and someday lead to her becoming a violent person. It was almost enough to make me grab my purse and go pick her up, but I had more important things to do. I was going out with Sirius tonight and I had to get ready. We had been out on dates before, but it still had not made me used to the process. Every time it took me more than an hour to get ready. That was almost fifty more minutes than it normally takes me to get ready.
I shut the door behind me and smiled at Sirius, leaning against his car. "You look beautiful." I had settled on a perfectly respectable black dress with simple pearls and black pumps. I locked the door and then walked to the car. Before I could get in, Sirius pulled me to him and kissed me, passionately. I pushed him back.
"Someone could see." As if to confirm my suspicions, I looked around.
"That's half the fun," he whispered in my ear before helping me into the passenger's seat.
We settled back in our seats. After a romantic dinner at a restaurant near Sirius's home we had driven around until we found a secluded area. We had remained there for over an hour talking and enjoying each others company.
A slow song piped from the radio. I smiled. This was an excellent song. Sirius noticed the look on my face and smiled at me. "Would you care to dance?" Sirius offered. I smiled.
"I don't think so. There's not a place for us to dance." But before I had even finished Sirius had jumped from the car and come around to my side. He offered me his hand. I turned the dial on the radio, making the music louder before I stepped out of the car. We danced with each other under the moonlight, even after the song had ended.
As he held me close I realized that I needed to tell him now. I was about to tell him when I changed my mind. I feared that I would tell him if I stayed any longer so I formed some excuse. "Oh shoot, I need to get home." I had glanced at his watch. Without another word, the two of us got in the car and he drove me home. He kissed me swiftly before I entered the house.
From the minute I was in the house I knew that something was wrong. It reeked of grease and disobedience. I shook it off, assuming that it was just my imagination. Humming to myself I walked through the kitchen fixing myself a glass of tea. As I was putting the sugar in it I thought I heard a noise coming from upstairs. I tried to ignore it, telling myself that it was my imagination again, but then two minutes later I heard it again. I was walking up the stairs when I understood what I had smelled in the house. I began walking up the stairs quicker than before. My daughter was home. I walked down the hallway, my feet pounding on the wooden floor. A light was on, but not in her room, instead it was on in my room. I walked to the doorway and looked in.
There she was among my pictures, my letters. Just standing there, no expression upon her face. And just like that my double life was discovered. "Is there something you want to tell me?" she asked as she held a picture out to me. I took it and looked down. I looked down and saw my own face smiling at the camera, Sirius kissing me on the cheek. I sighed and sank down on my bed. "Well?" Lane gave me her disbelieving look.
"Well what? I'm the mother and you're the daughter I don't have to tell you everything."
"I just thought you might want to talk to me since it is both of our lives." I gave her a look and she quickly added, "Maam."
"Would Rory and her mother talk about this?"
"Yes I think they would."
"And you want to be more like Rory and her mother?"
"I would like that yes."
"Well I won't wear any of that atrocious clothing Lorelai wears."
"Deal." Lane smiled at me. "So who is he?" I said nothing. I didn't really know what to say. "Is he your boyfriend?" I felt a slight twitch at the corner of my mouth. "Mom it's ok." Lane sat down beside me and put her hand on mine. "It's been two years since Dad died. I didn't expect you to become a nun. It's ok that you found someone else."
"No it's not ok!" I stood up quickly. "Not in our family. In our family we meet someone, we marry, and we stay married. There is no divorce. If your husband dies you wait until you die. You don't date. You mate for life!"
"So what's his name?"
"Lane I have a headache." I leaned against my dresser.
"Mom is he your boyfriend?" I looked at her, her eyes pleading with me to talk to her. I could tell that she was reaching out to me.
"Yes, he is. His name is Sirius Lee. We met on a Christian retreat. We've been dating for six weeks. At first it was just letters and then he moved nearer to here. And then we began seeing each other, never in town of course, but near where he lives."
"Six weeks. Wow." Lane nodded her head. There was a silence between us.
"Is there anything you would like to tell me?" I gave her a look. She looked right back. And then she broke.
"Yes Mama. I also have a boyfriend. And before you remind me that I am not allowed to date, hear me out." I of course already knew that she had a boyfriend. That Smith boy, always skulking around claiming to be looking for a one of a kind antique. Putting his grimy hands on things and never buying them. Coming to return a bible before kissing my innocent daughter out back. "…so I don't see what is so bad about him. In fact I think I could have chosen a far worse boy to date." Lane had been talking as I thought about the boy. I opened my mouth to yell at her, reprimand her, but then I realized that I was surprisingly accepting of it. She had accepted my secret boyfriend. I gave an involuntary shudder at the word. I should accept hers.
"Ok."
"Ok?" She seemed to believe there was more.
"I agree to let you continue seeing this boy." She smiled and hugged me.
"Thank you Mama."
"You may go now." But instead of leaving she sat down on my bed, wringing her hands.
"There's actually more Mama."
"More? More what?"
"This is really hard for me to say, just know that. I…I…"
"Lane just say it."
"I'm pregnant." I sat down on the bed next to her. My thoughts began to race and I was sure my pulse had quickened.
"The Smith boy's?"
"Yes Mama, it is Tom's." She avoided my eyes. I was silent for a moment before I began on my tirade.
"You know better! You had been warned not to have sex before marriage. You knew what could happen. You'd seen what could happen. Did you even consider the consequences? Consider what would happen to the family when they find out? How do you think they're going to react? They're certainly not going to take this lightly. You have brought disgrace upon this family. But the most important question is how are you going to raise a baby at your age?" I put my head in my hands.
"Mama, I'm sorry. I didn't plan on this. But, I can do it Mama and I'm hoping that you will help me."
I shook my head. "How could you let this happen? How?" I repeated over and over.
"Mama?" I began rocking back and forth. For at the end of the speech I realized, I was not talking to Lane anymore, I was talking to myself.
"Lane, I'm pregnant." Lane's jaw dropped.
So I know that this seems kind of out of character for Ms. Kim, but I realized that she had to be human. She has to make some of the same mistakes that others make. Sorry I just couldn't resist naming him Sirius Lee. Haha. Hey I have to have some fun.