Summary: You held me close so many times... said you loved me, said that you'd protect me. You kissed me so many times... said you loved me, said you'd protect me. You pushed me away one too many times, you didn't love me, and couldn't protect me from yourself.
Disclaimer: I haven't, don't, and never will own Inuyasha! I've dreamt about it many times just like any other person writing Inuyasha fanfictions, but It'll never happen. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must dry my tears.
I can't believe I still remember you... I remember every bit of the day I went back to my era for good.
"Damn!" I yelled, pushing back tears. "I hate you!" I could hardly believe that I was saying these things, but I did have every right to be upset. I had recently visited my era, you know, just to check up on things. But when I returned, I found that you and Kikyou were together again. You returned later that night without saying a word to me, so I said goodbye to Sango, Miroku, and Shippou. I went back to my era with all my things in a blind fury, waiting for you to come and get me as usual. I'm not really sure what made me do that... maybe it was the fact that you hadn't said anything, maybe it was because I was just sick of the whole thing, I'm not sure and don't know if I ever will be.
Souta had grown so much when I went back... made me think of how our relationship was growing... Everything seemed to be working out perfectly before I left the feudal era, except for the Naraku factor, of course. I was so happy, the happiest that I'd been in ages! I actually thought that things were going to work out; I was even thinking of moving to the feudal era with you after Naraku was defeated. I wanted to start a family and be able to live in peace with the man that I love... but... I guess some things just aren't meant to be. Not even a day later I was to return for good.
"Kagome!" You were yelling for me, but I let you come to me for once. I heard you jump through the window and onto the floor. I turned around when you grabbed my shoulder. "What the hell are you doing taking so long?"
I stood in front of you holding back tears. I stared into you golden orbs and knew that I couldn't keep myself from crying for too long. "I'm sorry, things have come up and I can't return right now. I'll be back in two days, though." I lied.
It took a while before we finally agreed on my returning in one day. You were about to leave when I hugged you, knowing that it was the last time that I was going to see you. Stunned, you just stood there before finally embracing me back. I slipped my jewel shards into your kimono before you left my room for good.
I sat in my room that night, thinking of what you'd do when you found the shards tucked in your kimono. I couldn't hold them back any longer, they were coming. Tears crept their way onto my cheeks. "That's right..." I whispered to myself, "You hate tears, you said that they stunk." I began crying more, forcing them out to spite you... but you weren't there to smell them. You were never there to smell them! You were always there with the dead corpse of a woman! "Damn it... I wish I could go back and cry in your face... make you drown in my tears!" I grabbed the vial that once held the shards of the sacred jewel in it. I looked into it with my red, puffy eyes. The vial was transparent, but I still saw a slight reflection of my left eye that was still wet from tears. I threw it onto my bed, somehow thinking that it would break. It didn't.
I quickly picked it up and walked outside, tears still streaking my face. "Inuyasha!" I yelled out to the cold air. I was in my socks and school uniform, but the snow beneath my feet and cold wind relentlessly hitting my body didn't affect me at all. "Look what you've done to me!!" Snowflakes hit my face as tears still ran down leaving the salty streaks on my cheeks. I walked up to the tree... yeah, the one where I first laid eyes on you. The first time you saw me... you mistook me for Kikyou! That name... that putrid name that burnt my tongue each and every time I said it. I stared at the tree long and hard, hoping that my glare would somehow reach you. I still held the vial in my right hand at my side. "If only you could feel this pain that I'm feeling! If only..." I fell to my knees, my voice faltering. I hated feeling that way. And on top of that... I was being so horrible, saying things that I'd expect to hear dripping from Naraku's evil lips, but no. I was the one saying them, I was the one wishing Kikyou death in my sub consciousness. But you, Inuyasha, you were the one that made me feel... think... scream like that!
I stopped my pointless crying after what had to be an hour; I knew that nothing good would come of it. I whipped my face with my cold sleeve and saw the vial gleaming in my hand. "Inuyasha..." I still loved you, but I needed to stop, there was no way that I could be in love with a half demon from 500 years ago! I squeezed the vial, harder and harder until it broke under the force of my hand. As the glass penetrated my soft skin, I smiled. I began chuckling quietly, which soon grew into a still quiet laughter. I looked back down at my bleeding hand, still clutching the broken vial. Blood dripped down from my palm and to my wrist, falling in small, but steady streams of blood. The blood reached the pure white snow beneath my hand, and stained it with a crimson such as the color of your kimono. I began crying slightly at the thought of you, but shoved the thought aside by squeezing the glass shards harder, causing more blood to fall upon the snow and other glass shards below.
I slowly stood up with the glass and blood still in hand; my legs were cold from sitting on the snow. I walked closer to the tree and stood before it, clutching my bleeding hand in front of my chest. I opened my bloody hand and let some glass fall out of it, I then picked the rest out without flinching or having any emotion in my face. I was so sick of emotions. I then threw my palm into the trunk of the tree, the spot where I was sure Kikyou's arrow held you for 50 years 500 years ago. I released it, satisfied to see a crimson mark planted there. I then took the injured hand and made a circle around the tree. When I was done, I looked at the sight with a solemn face. I then sat in front of the sacred tree and watched, as if something were about to happen. Nothing did, and I fell asleep.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-
I awoke the next morning, still sitting in front of the tree. The sky was pink and I noticed that more snow had fallen, for my shoulders and head held a slight dust of snow on them. My circle had been slightly covered by the snow, but there were still traces of blood and the hand print still lay in tact. I tried to stand, my legs wouldn't respond. I tried again and again, still nothing. After a few minutes I managed to get up and walk inside the house, no one was awake. I snuck up to my room and changed into warmer and dry cloths, I threw the others to the ground. I stood there for a minute, staring into a small mirror on my dresser. I noticed how pale I was, and how dull my normally bright eyes looked. I knew that there was something wrong with me, but I wasn't sure if it was because I was upset or sick from sitting out in the cold. I figured both though. I put on a coat and sighed heavily.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-
I walked toward the family shrine in quick, small steps. I guess I thought that you would come back for me, I don't know. I opened the doors and stood there staring at the well. "Inuyasha..." I whispered into the darkness, "Are you coming?" I balled my hands into fists, a bad move. I flinched as I dug my fingers into my cuts and quickly flattened my hand out. "You're not going to... leave me... are you?" I stood there for hours and hours... just waiting for you to come back, and you never did.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Souta was the one to come and look for me, I can count on him. He's grown a lot over the past few years... showing a larger interest in girls. It makes me think of Miroku. I've grown too, though. I'm 22 now, living life one day at a time. True, I have no husband, but I had a bit of a boyfriend for a while, he was my friend from high school, Hojo. I'm not in love with him and really never was. I could never fall in love with Hojo, but, unlike you, he never hurt me. Never tried, never will. He's kind and caring all the time, and he's always looking out for me. But, in reality, no matter how much I said that I loved him, the only reason that I was with him was to spite you. I guess that it was my way of getting back at you for choosing Kikyou, even though you were not there to suffer.
Though, now that I think about it more and more, I'm realizing this: Kouga treated me better than any man before. I've cried over him as much as I've cried over you, and I wish that I could return to the feudal era, just so I could at least say good-bye to him.
I guess that I shouldn't have secretly returned those shards to you that day, but then again, I wouldn't have been able to return to feudal Japan knowing that you couldn't care less about what happened to me. And there still laid the fact that you never came back to get me. Sango and Miroku said good-bye, at least. And Shippou, the poor boy cried so much when I left.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-
The crimson mark is no longer on the tree.
My hand has recovered with no scars.
The well has been sealed.
Hojo and I are no longer together.
Gramps passed away.
I finished high school and got a job.
My friends are still here for me.
Souta is in high school with a steady girlfriend.
I've told myself to forget everything about you and the feudal era.
I wanted to forget everything.
I needed to forget everything.
Inuyasha, why do I still remember you?
Well, there you have it! I like to make Kagome suffer... hehe... –stabs Kagome with sporks- Anywhay, please review! Please, no flames. But questions, comments, and constructive criticism are always appreciated! Help me further my writing skills! (If any... if not, then help me create some!) And remember that not all stories end in "happily ever after." xP As you can plainly see.