Zankoku na itami (Cruel pain)
A red fire sphere flooded the narrow streets of the town, while that day was coming to an end. The shadows of the day started pushing their way snaking, while the first star was peeping out in the sky. By now, in town, everyone was going to come home. Solely few cats, which wandered mewing in lanes, probably searching some food, were the only obstinate ones staying outside. Evening was going to come down more and more on the district of Nerima - ku.
A little bit behind the curtains of an anonymous bedroom, a pensive girl stared at the sunset show, which was taking place in the little district of Tokyo. She sadly sighed only watching the daily withdrawal of the sun. Thoughts and memories surely crowded her minds: her blue eyes were the proof.
Michiko had her last long sigh, and then moved aside the window, closing the curtains. She stopped paying attention to the twilight, but not to what had been always in her head for a long time. Through tired movements and gestures, she went to the desk of her bedroom, turned on the lamp, moved aside the chair and sat down. Then she opened a drawer and took out her trustworthy confessor, the only one who had all the patience of the world to listen to her, and no possibilities or will to tell what she used to rely on him.
The girl opened her diary on the desk, took a pen, made a note of the date and started writing, completely merged in her thoughts:
"Dear diary,
It's the umpteenth time I'm here leafing through your pages, hoping to find a corner where I can talk and pour my heart out to you. Every day, every night when I sleep, every time I look at the sunset, these thoughts have nothing to do but overwhelm me, and I can't feel nothing but a deep sadness. I think about my life again as something empty, as a puzzle without one last domino … I really need what unfairly had torn up to me … if they only hadn't told me … I would have been able to keep on living, without this feeling of incompleteness, without this regret of having never met them … grandfathers and aunts had managed to make me and my brother live peacefully, for at least sixteen years. Unfortunately the burden which everybody had on heart didn't allow them to be further silent: they felt to be ought to tell us the truth. And, by now for at least two months, I haven't been able to do anything but being reserved and heaping quite obsessively my thoughts on your pages: what they said, that September afternoon, literally shocked me … only haste, resentment and suffering leaked out from the story … that haste … I continue asking myself: is it possible to reach such a haste? Is it possible to reach such a point of no way back and madness? No, it's not, and this tortures me non-stop … all this was unthinkable, unacceptable, and what was worst, all this could be avoided … even now I can't do anything but looking at the clock- I hope, at any moment, that its hands stop and start spinning furiously round back, also bringing me back to the past … also making me repair what everyone want to keep on looking, even if in their wet eyes, such as something inevitable … also making my life be the one I wanted to be. I don't want to say that grandfathers, aunts and my brother Kaitou have never gave me all the affection I need, but it would have been surely wonderful with THEM …"
Michiko brought up her tired eyes from the diary's page and looked at the clock: it was five thirty and this meant she could stray herself in loneliness a bit more.
" … now my thoughts are thicker than ever and I can't go on. When I need to open up to you, I'm sure your pages will be ready to welcome my thoughts, that will pour out pressingly on them. I'll give myself to some rest, although I actually know time will pass before I find my peaceful rest …"
She placed the pen and closed the diary, putting then precisely him away in the drawer. She stood up from the chair and looked around herself. She realized evening had totally come, and the only source of light in her bedroom was the lamp on her desk.
She was going to go on the direction of the bed, when she heard a soft ticking.
"It could be aunt who's knocking my door. She's always been kind of nature … "
She thought, going straight of the door of her bedroom.
She grabbed the handle and opened, sneaking out shyly on the hallway, but nobody was there. A quiet and strangely soft chattering came from downstairs, probably the television. From two months apart, almost nobody had wanted to speak in family.
Michiko closed the door, thinking was only a figment of her imagination. That time she returned to desk and turned off the lamp, then she decisively went in the direction of her bed. She lay down on it, and grabbed tightly the pillow, holding it close to her, as if she was trying to embrace something she couldn't really grab. She crouched down, keeping on holding the pillow between harms. Numerous thoughts, which tortured her, were so confused and crowded in her head, giving her the impression to vanish. In darkness, in silence, in her bedroom, the girl found herself to be only half awake, as hung in an empty space where she felt falling.
She was quite going to fall asleep, when the soft ticking came back. No … although she felt to be more prisoner of a dreamy world, she understood the ticking was real.
She unwillingly stood up and tried to look around. There were new moon and no lights in the bedroom: there only was the far and dim reminiscence of a street lamp's light. She tried to sharpen her hearing, but she didn't get any sign. So she fumbled for the desk and reached it, for turning on the lamp. At that moment she was going to turn on it, she heard again that sound and she understood: it was at the window.
Spacing in her mind, she imagined the worst: a shady character, a thief, a maniac, a rascal, a killer … carrying always with no light, leaning on the pieces of furniture and the walls, she came to the opposite corner of the bedroom where, hidden behind the wardrobe, there were two very curious "antiques" the sixteen-year-old had never hesitated to use. She had never known why they were there in her bedroom: she had never asked it and nobody had never told her. She took them both, just to choose which of them would have been instantly more useful. In her left hand she held an old bat, which was at least twenty, while in her right one she grasped an old-like-first bamboo bokken. She had weighed them in her hands for some seconds, then she chose the bokken: it was lighter, but also effective.
The ticking came again, less soft. Michiko, grabbing with both hands the bamboo sword, went slowly to the window, following the external glimpse of street lamp. When she reach her goal, she set herself next to it, so that she could not be seen. She deeply breathed in.
"Come on Michiko …"
She suddenly opened curtains and window, and pointed the katana at the tune who was in front of her.
-Don't move pervert!-
Her eyes were wide opened and full of anger. However, when what she saw became information in her brain, she understood the mistake she had done, again …
-Damn, Michiko, you'll kill me with all your tools some day! I only came to make you feel a little bit better … -
Two irreverent hazel eyes looked at the girl up and down.
-Couldn't you do it like every normal person, Kaitou? Knocking at the door, for instance.-
-I see you're as gentle as same, sister.-
-Stop it, jerk! Come in, otherwise we'll both freeze … -
As soon as the boy came in, the sister closed the window and turned on the lamp.
Hi everybody! My name's apochan kenshiro (who's real name's Federica …), I'm Italian and I really love writing fan fictions … of course I could not be able to do this if I didn't love anime, manga, TV series and literature, especially Ranma ½, Castle, Edgar Allan Poe and Italo Calvino …
I decided to sign up few days ago just right because I'm just publishing my fan fictions on Italian websites an' I said: why not try on too? It's a bet, I know, but I like what I do, especially what I figure out in my mind … so, this is the first chapter of my story, hoping you had been able to enjoy it … I know, actually, I'm Italian, and I'll try my best (although I'm gonna attend to university this Autumn, right studying English, I'm totally aware of the fact that my prose seems to be ridiculous to you!) …
So, see you soon guys!
p.s. For the reason I previously explained, I urgently need a speaking – English BETA, no matter if he/she is American or British … Bye!
p.s. 2 After almost a year I edited again this chapter, hope you like it! Bye again!