The Gaian and the Frog
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful Gaian who lived in a very tastefully decorated house. The house sat on the edge of Bass'ken Lake because, let's face it, there's nothing more appealing than living on the edge of a mucky swamp surrounded by hostile fluffs and perpetually angry giftboxes that want to eat people. Fortunately the Gaian was also blessed in gold as well as interior designing, so she was easily able to afford several rings for protection from the Animated and an Ancient Katana for everything else, including ex-boyfriends and travelers in starter clothes who came begging for gold.
One day, the Gaian was strolling along the lake, enjoying the sights and trying to keep the Christian Sirianos Prom Dress she wore out of the mud (she had an unfortunate tendency to overdress). She was just pausing to admire a small yellow guppy, when she heard heard someone call out "Hello?"
Thinking that it was yet another newb come to beg for gold, she lept up and kept her Ancient Katana at the ready. "Who's there?" she called.
"Just me," said the voice. "No one specially really. I don't really have a name."
"Where are you?"
"I'm at your feet."
The Gaian looked down. "GRUNNY!" she screamed, noticing the adorable green ball of fluff for the first time. She raised the Katana, determined to kill it before it ripped out her throat.
"No! No! Wait!" it said. "Please don't kill me! You see, I'm not really a Grunny."
"Wait, you're not?" she asked, lowering the Katana.
"No, not at all. You see, I found myself in this dreadful condition against my will. I'm really a Gaian like you. There is a way to change me back, but I will need your help."
"Erm, okay," said the Gaian. "What do you need?"
"First," said the Grunny, "You must take me back to your home, where you must show your loyalty to the cause by letting me share dinner with you. Then, you must kiss me good night before going to bed. Only then will I change back."
"That doesn't sound to complicated," said the Gaian. "Are you very handsome?"
"Eh, I like to think I look good enough."
"Alright then," said the Gaian. She picked up the little Grunny and carried him back to her house.
The two had dinner together just as the Gaian promised, and she served her best food, bread and ice cream and turkey and lobster. The Grunny seemed very happy with it and ate a lot.
Just before getting ready for bed, the Gaia picked up the Grunny. "Alright now," she said, "I just have to kiss you on the lips, right?"
"I don't think I have lips," said the Grunny. "Same basic principle though."
"Got it," said the Gaian. She puckered up, leaned forward...
...And then pulled her head back with a cry of pain. The Grunny had bit her puckered lips and was still dangling on by its teeth. She unhooked it and threw the little bugger as hard as she could against the wall. When the dust cleared, the Grunny was gone. In its place was a fairly good-looking Labtech.
"Thank you so much!" said the LabTech. "I thought I'd be stuck as a Grunny living in a swamp forever after that terrible lab accident!"
"Why did you bite me?" asked the Gaian furiously.
"I needed to ingest a mixture of a female Gaian's blood and saliva to counteract the formula I was infect with."
"Oh," she said. "Then why did we have to have dinner together first?"
"Well," said the LabTech, "I'd been living for a week in the mud and scum with only a few fish and plants to eat. I was hungry!"
The two got along well regardless of that weird start, and lived together in that beautiful house ever after. Things are still going smoothly for them, although to this day the Gaian is still careful when she kisses the LabTech.