Sasori Gets Candy

A/N: yo peoples!! story numero dos!! oh yeah XD now it's time to torture sasori teehee.

disclaimer: i do not own naruto or any of the characters, sadly. i also don't own DDR, scooby-doo, mr. rogers, michael jackson, cribs, or scarred.

Blade

Gaara: currently under house arrest

Temari: currently banging her head against the wall, still, for being so stupid

Kankuro: currently looking for lunch (be back in 30 minutes)

30 min. later...:

Kankuro walked into the kitchen and began searching the cabinets for something to eat (since he couldn't find anything behind-the-scenes). "Temari, it's been three days. You can stop now." He said to his older sister who was still head/desking (or rather table) herself.

"It's all my fault. I should have put the bowl somewhere else." They heard a big thud from upstairs.

"Gaara, you ok?" Kankuro called up the stairs. A muffled 'fine' was heard, followed by another thud. Kankuro went upstairs to see if his little brother was ok. Temari was getting an ice pack for her head when she heard Gaara yelling, "Let me play with Naruto!"

"Oh dear. What's he doing, trying to escape again?" She asked Kankuro when he came back in the kitchen.

"No, but he wants to play with Naruto."

"So I've heard."

"He's playing DDR."

"He tripped?"

"Sort of. He's playing Zephyr on expert."

They were both silent for moment, and then they burst out laughing. They were interrupted by Gaara screaming in terror. He burst into the room and jumped on Kankuro Scooby-Doo style. Temari jumped up, immediately ready for a fight, because nothing scared Gaara. Not even demons from hell, and judging by his terrified expression, this was a lot worse than trans-dimensional demons or pedophiles.

"What is it?" Temari asked.

"Mr. Rogers just came out of the closet!" (A/N: wow, talk about double meanings XP) Gaara said crawling under Kankuro's shirt in an attempt to hide.

"What the hell?" Kankuro said. Just then Mr. Rogers walked past the kitchen and out the front door. Kankuro and Temari stared at each other puzzled as a conveniently timed news report came on the TV.

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for this important news bulletin," said the news lady. "We have just been informed that Mr. Rogers has teamed up with Michael Jackson to go Little-Boy-Hunting.

-At Orochimaru's Lair-

"I wanna go, too!" The snake man ran out the door to catch up with Mr. Rogers and MJ.

-Back to the Suna Siblings-

"And it seems Orochimaru will soon be joining them," continued the news lady. The three siblings stared at the TV dumbfounded, Gaara poking his head out of the top of Kankuro's shirt Akamaru-style.

-Akatsuki Base-

Deidara walked into the kitchen with the groceries, only to be greeted by a certain red-head rummaging through every single cupboard and closet, spilling things everywhere. "…Danna, un?" he asked. Sasori ran over to the freezer and smiled wide as he found a container of ice cream. He grabbed a spoon and sat at the table, tearing the lid off the ice cream. He shoveled down a couple spoonfuls and then froze. He suddenly head/desked himself and then just sat there, his face smashed into the table. "Danna?" Deidara asked again, still standing in the doorway. Sasori sat up and shook his head.

"Brain freeze," he stated simply. He shoveled in some more ice cream and head/desked himself again. Deidara put the groceries on the counter and grabbed Sasori's hair, pulling his head up.

"Danna, are you ok, un?" He asked carefully.

"Sugar!" Sasori said, batting Deidara's hand away. "I need sugar!"

"What, un?" Deidara said, looking extremely confused.

"I said I need sugar! Am I not speaking English, here?!" He yelled.

"What's all the yelling about?" Itachi and Kisame came into the kitchen.

"Umm…Sasori-danna wants some sugar…un." Deidara said, still confused.

Deidara: currently very confused and slightly scared.

Sasori-danna: currently has the mother of all sweet-tooths.

Itachi's eyes widened, if only a fraction, but nobody noticed the Uchiha's sudden display of emotion.

"Tobi has sugar!" Tobi said, suddenly jumping into the room merrily. "You can have these!" He handed Sasori a handful of pixie sticks.

"No!" Itachi yelled. Too late. Sasori had already ripped them open and dumped their sugary contents on his tongue. A huge smile spread across his face.

"Tobi, you freakin' RETARD!" Itachi screamed, grabbing Tobi by the collar and shaking him.

"Tobi's a good boy?"

"NO TOBI IS NOT A GOOD BOY!" Itachi screamed again. Sasori threw his hands in the air and ran, screaming in a high pitched voice, "WEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kisame jumped in front of him, hoping to stop him, and was mowed down.

"What happened?" Kisame asked from the floor.

"Sugar…" Itachi said.

"Should we go get him, un?" Deidara asked.

"What's this 'we'?" Itachi said. "It's not my problem." He went into the living room and sat on the couch, turning on the TV.

"Today on Cribs…Jiraiya!"

-At Konoha-

"So why did Gaara come here on a sugar high?" Sakura asked.

"He wanted to play with Naruto." Kakashi replied from behind his book.

"Whatever! He wanted to eat me!"

"Shut-up and get to work!" Tsunade yelled. A huge bang caused everyone to look out the window. A building had collapsed.

"Not again!" Sakura said.

"My leg!" cried a villager.

"Is that Akatsuki?" Kakashi questioned.

"I am Puppet Master!" Sasori yelled triumphantly. He had his cloak tied around his neck like a cape and a big 'PM' on his shirt. Naruto and Tsunade jumped out the window to see what was up. Kakashi went back to his book and Sakura just watched from the window considering she's to weak and stupid to do anything helpful. Sai also appeared in all his short-shirted glory.

"What's happening?" He asked. Mr. Rogers, Michael Jackson, and Orochimaru showed up hoping to find little boys and froze in their tracks. You can guess who they were checking out in the revealing outfit and it definitely wasn't Tsunade.

"RAWR!" Sasori yelled. He made claws with his hands and stood on one foot, the other one behind him in the air.

"I'm so confused!" Naruto said holding his head. Sasori suddenly glomped the closest thing to him, which happened to be Sai, causing them both to fall to the ground. Sai ended up on his back with Sasori sitting on his stomach. Blood spurted out of Mr. R's, MJ's, and Oro's noses so hard that it propelled them backwards. Kabuto went up to Sasori, who stared at him with big chibi-eyes.

"Lord Orochimaru wants your body." Kabuto said.

"Oh hell no!" Tsunade said and punched him in the face.

Sasori and Sai: currently in a very awkward position.

Sai: currently enjoying his very awkward position (he will now only be shot from the waist up until he takes care of his 'little problem')

Mr. R, MJ, and Oro: currently passed out from blood loss.

Kabuto: currently has his face bashed in (it's definitely an improvement from before)

"Naruto, move!" Sasuke yelled, showing up with the metal bat and the Suna siblings. Sasuke proceeded to bash Sasori in the head, causing him to collapse on a very 'excited' Sai. Gaara glomped Naruto from behind and bit his ear.

Naruto screamed and ran in circles, hitting Gaara in the face. "Help! Help! He's eating me!"

Sasuke and Kankuro pulled Sasori off of Sai who ran behind-the-scenes as fast as he possibly could. Pulling out a Sharpie, Sasuke wrote an 'S' beside the 'PM' (A/N: it now says PMS, for those who are not on the same wavelength as me) then threw Sasori in a box marked 'to: the Akatsuki' and dumped it in the mail box.

"So, did he get your village, too?" Tsunade asked.

"Oh yeah." Kankuro said. The Kool-aid man promptly burst through a wall and was immediately pummeled by kunai.

Sai: currently fixing is 'little problem'

Naruto: currently running in circles with Gaara attached to his ear.

Gaara: currently attached to Naruto's ear.

-At Akatsuki Base-

"Oooooooh," everyone winced as the skater on Scarred fell off his board and slid down the rail, giving new meaning to 'ripped myself a new one.'

"I'll get it," Konan said when the doorbell rang. "Uh, guys? Why is Sasori in a box on our doorstep?"

"Shhhhhh!"

-END-