I've had enough of this. This thought had been crossing my mind for the last week. Things weren't going so well anymore, with Oikawa getting increasingly cold and uncaring.

The soft rain trickled down the window as I watched the stormy skies hurl thunder in the distance. A flash lit up the night and I felt a tinge of excitement, expecting the thunder to roar through the air. Instead, I heard the lock click and the doorhinges creak behind me.

"How was it, dear?", I asked, not bothering to turn and meet his gaze. I already knew the answer from the drag in his footsteps and the lack of his usual playfulness when he got home the other nights.

"We lost.", he muttered. I turned my head and saw he'd lain down on the couch, forearm covering his eyes. Our silence was broken by the clapping of thunder in the horizon and, this time, it didn't feel exciting. I walked slowly towards the sofa and kneeled next to his face.

"Do you wanna talk about it?", my voice was but a soft whisper, my best attempt at soothing his weary mind. I placed the palm of my hand over his chest, caressing the soft fabric. His heartbeat was wild, pounding away bellow his ribs, trying to free itself.

"No.", was the last thing he told me before getting up and going to his room, closing the door behind him. He would probably spend the rest of the night watching the game's videotape, trying to see what he could've done better, like he always did. My phone vibrated on the coffee table and I picked it up.

It was a text from Iwaizumi, asking how Oikawa was, since he'd fallen on his bad leg again. I responded that he was probably fine, since he didn't seem to be limping when he arrived. I drew a hot bath for myself after and let the smell of the bodywash sink in, relaxing my sore muscles.

Oikawa and I had met during the annual club leaders meeting. Since he was the volleyball captain and I was the gymnastics team leader, we ended up sitting next to eachother and we immediately got along. He was that flirty, prideful idiot on the outside but he was also very caring and a genuinely good person when you got to know him.

Our first kiss had been accidental but it made me so happy that my feelings were returned by him that I didn't even care about the circunstances it had happened in. I kind of laughed nowadays whenever I thought about it.

"It's gonna be almost a year in a few days...", I whispered to myself, sinking in the bath until the water had covered my face completely. Lately, whenever Tooru had a bad day or lost a match, he'd lock himself in his room and not even speak to me. We'd move in together because my father was summoned to work abroad and I was already enrolled in school.

It was getting late and I had class early the following day so I took off the rubber stopper from the drain and let the water tickle my legs as it's level was going down. I rolled the towel around my body and secured the tip over the front, walking out of the bathroom. From Tooru's bedroom came the muffled sounds of squeaking and thumping, the game on the tape in motion already.

I opened the door slightly and crept up on him, placing an arm softly on his shoulder. He didn't even seem to notice me touch him, his eyes followed the movements of the players rapidly, looking at problems in defense, attack, spikes, sets, serves, whatever. I knew a bit of volleyball because of all the times I'd seen him at pratice and at matches.

"Don't I get a goodnight kiss, Tooru?", I asked, nuzzling his neck softly. He didn't answer, grunting instead. "Tooru", I called. I'd had enough.

"What...", he asked, absentmindedly. He wasn't really asking anything, he just expected me to rant and then leave him alone to review his game.

"Tooru!", I raised my voice, turning off the small television where he was watching it.

"I'm doing something important Sachiko!", he yelled, standing up and looking at me. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm trying to talk to you!", I screamed back, face flush with anger. I stepped around him and put myself between him and the Tv, blocking the 'on' button with my body.

"Can't you see I'm trying to figure this out?", he didn't seem to even be paying attention to what I was saying.

"To hell with your stupid volleyball games, don't I deserve some attention as well?!", I asked and he didn't answer, simply picking me up and removing me from the front of the television.

"You're being annoying today, what's wrong?", he turned back to the screen, blank expression on his face.

"What the... stop that!", I reached for the button again and he tore my arm from it, making me fall back to the floor. I felt bitter tears start to sting my eyes as they rolled down my cheeks and I got up, nails digging into the palms of my hands and leaving the knuckles white. "Get out."

"Hm...?", he was once again looking at the screen.

"I said, get out of my house, Oikawa!", I screamed. "If you love volleyball so much that you'd rather not even look at me when I'm talking, then GET OUT!", I stormed off and closed the door to my own room, leaning against it and sinking down to the floor, crying.

Why can't he understand?... he used to be so joyful... now I only get to see this side of him, he's always apathic, it's like I'm not even there! I hate him so much... no.. I love him.. he's kind and he.. no. He doesn't seem to care about me anymore.

I put on the pijamas and got into bed, after turning off the light. I hadn't eaten anything that night but I wasn't hungry after that. I closed my eyes and quietly dozed off.

I felt something next to me on the mattress. I opened my eyes and saw the figure of Tooru nestled beside me.

"I'm sorry, Sachiko...", he whispered, planting a soft kiss on my cheek. I was still angry but I felt my resolve waver beneath his knowing touch, the way his hand gently held my neck while the fingers lightly tangled in the base of my hair. "You know I didn't mean it... I was just upset..."

"You can't keep doing this..", I breathed as I felt his lips close to mine. "I'm not your stress toy."

"I know, honey. I love you.", he replied closing the small gap between us. I love you.. funny how the words rolled so easily off his lips, when we were like this, embracing eachother in the dark. He used to tell me that when we were out in the sun, so that everyone could hear. Now, it felt more like it was a secret he wanted to keep all to himself, only saying it when no one was listening.

"I... love you too.", I whispered, kissing him back.

Tooru and I got eachother. We connected on another level, he knew exactly what would make me tick, what I liked, where to touch, what to say, when to say it and knew that about him, I'd never felt this with anyone else and I didn't think I could ever again.

-

When I got up, he'd already left. A small note with a 'Love you', was on the breakfast table, together with a plate of fresh pancakes. It made me smile widely and, as soon as I was done, I packed my things and left for school as well.

"Sachiko, you ready?", Haruki asked me as I was about to be thrown in the air during gymnastics pratice.

"All good.", I smiled, steadying myself. I looked towards the door, waiting for Tooru to show up anytime, since volleyball pratice was just after ours but the door remained clear. We finished just as the team was entering the gym.

I walked over to Iwaizumi, looking around for Oikawa but not seeing him anywhere.

"Iwa, where's Tooru?", I asked. He shrugged.

"No idea. I think he had somethings to do before pratice. He'll show up, eventually.", he answered. I sighed, not content with the answer and left the gym still in my uniform, walking around, looking for him.

"You're so funny, Oikawa-san!", I heard a female voice giggle from around a building. I walked closer and peered over. A small girl had a lunchbox on her hands and she and Tooru were close. She was blushing and he flashed her his flirty grin pulling her chin up and giving her a light peck on the cheek.

My heart fell to my feet. The tears instantly formed on my eyes. How could I be so stupid... thinking he was getting colder towards me because of his matches instead of... another person. I'm an idiot. I hate him. He's an asshole, was what my brain had on repeat the whole time I ran back to the gym and into the locker rooms.

I closed the door behind me, covering my face when I passed my Iwa and the others. I didn't want any questions, I felt so humiliated... They propably all knew that he got on with other girls and I was just his lap dog. I was sad and angry, beyond furious, how dare he do something like that to me. I loved him so much, but I could feel the string that kept us connected be strained some more.

"Sachiko...?", a familiar voice called me. It was him.

"I don't wanna talk to you.", I replied, drying my tears.

"What happened? Why are you crying?"

"I'm beyond mad at you, you asshole!", I screamed, with flared up nostrils and bloodshot eyes. "How dare you?!"

"What?.. I don't understand, Sachiko, dear.", he seemed worried.

"I saw you with that girl! You kissed her!", I barked.

"Oh, it was nothing, she was just confessing and I rejected her...", he looked apolegetic.

"You're a terrible liar. You don't kiss people you're turning down.", I growled, trying to calm down. He came closer, grabbing my hand. I recoiled and backed up. "Don't touch me. I hate you."

"That's a lie, Sachiko.", he said, coming closer. With a swift movement, he hugged me and ours lips touched and I knew I couldn't say no to him. Not when he made me feel like that. When it seemed like the only thing that existed in the world was us when we kissed. "I love you, it was nothing, don't worry."

He released me and smiled. We both got out of the lockers and I sat during practice, watching him play so happily and wonderfully as he always did. Later that day, a friend of mine texted me to meet up and I accepted.

"So, how are things going, Sachiko?", they asked me, and we chatted for a few hours, laughing and having a general good time. I liked to hangout with them, they always cheered me up and we had playful flirt but we'd never do anything, since I had Tooru.

I got home a bit late and Oikawa was sitting on the couch, hunched over, with his hands on his knees. When I opened the door, he didn't even get up to greet me.

"I'm hooome!", I said cheerfully.

"You look like you had a good time...", he mumbled.

"Yeah, I did.", I smiled.

"Was it with Asao again?"

"Yeah, why? You sound weird, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. I just think it's curious that the days where you're the happiest are the ones you spend with them and not me.", his tone sounded a bit angry.

"What's that supposed to mean...? Can't I be happy for being with friends?"

"Are you cheating on me?", he asked, straight face looking at me.

"No, Tooru! Of course not!", I replied, starting to get angry. "Not that you'd know, you barely make time for me anyways."

"I have things to do! It's not my fault you're never busy."

"Oh, get real, you're all 'volleyball here, volleyball there', all the freaking time! I have acrobatics too and I still make time to give you attention!", I was yelling.

"Well, to you it maybe just a hobby but I want to be a professional volleyball player! Not someone who can say they did air flips and that's it.", he looked angry.

"Excuse me?! 'Air flips', like you call them, are way harder than just throwing some stupid ball around!"

"What would you know?! You don't know the first thing about volleyball! At least, we have matches and actually win them, miss 'We never qualify for anything anyways'!"

"Matches that you keep losing! Then you come home all sulky and go watch the game over and over again and still you can't win and you still say you want to be a pro? You get frustrated cause someone is better than you, mr 'Oh, I'm so great, I can't even win agaisnt Shiratorizawa'!"

"You bitch! Shut your mouth! I'm a good captain and I am great! We will win! I don't know why you're being so salty, you know we just end up making up, you can't resist my touch...", he grinned.

"Sometimes you're disgusting...", I scowled. "If that's all you want from a relationship, why don't you go running to that girl that confessed earlier and you 'rejected'?"

"She seemed much nicer than you, she said she'd cheer me on every single game. Or are you trying to get me to break up with you so you can get into Haruki's pants?"

"What are you even saying? I didn't say anything about breaking up but I'm getting sick of being your punching bag. Whenever you're sad or angry, I get treated like shit! If I'd known that you'd stop being kind and nice and just be like this, I'd never have started dating you!", tears flowed down my cheeks, looking at his now cold eyes.

"You're the only one who sees me at my lowest.", he stated, his voice calming down.

"But that's ALL I see! I'm a person, I love you so much but you make it so hard sometimes. I've have enough of begging for your attention.", I stood there, quiet, sobbing with my back turned to him.

"I'm sorry...", he whispered leaning closer until his breath tickled my ear.

"Sorry doesn't cut it this time... Please, give me space.", I replied, trying not to succumb once more to his intoxicating touch.

"I love you.", he said, planting a wet kiss on the back of my neck. My eyes closed on their own and I felt the familiar wave of warmth he gave me when he touched me. We only get along physically... this won't work.

"I'm going to sleep. Don't come into my room tonight.", I walked slowly and he didn't chase me until I'd close the door. He knocked and I could hear him crying from the other side, his breath irregular.

"Sachiko, I don't want to lose you... please... I didn't mean anything I said, I was just jealous. I love you so much, please.", I heard babble from the other side. "Can we start again, please?"

I leaned against the door and slid until I was sitting against the floor. I love you too. I don't want to be mad. I don't want us to argue like this, I thought, trying to stiffle the cries of anguish I was feeling from hearing him cry outside the door. I wanted to go there, comfort him, tell him that I loved him and I didn't want him to cry anymore.

A couple of hours passed and he got quiet. I assumed he'd left to go to sleep so I opened the door and saw him there, laying on the floor with his eyes puffy and his face still flushed.

I.. I can't get enough of you, Tooru. I kneeled down next to him and caressed his cheek, drying a remaning tear drop.

"I wanna start over... I wish we could fix this...", my lips quivered and I felt the tears wanting to fall again. "I love you so much, Tooru."

"Then let's...", he whispered, taking my hand and placing a soft kiss on the palm. He slowly sat up and smiled his usual smile. "Hey there, my name is Tooru Oikawa, what's yours?"