"Choices of the heart"
Andy walked into the townhouse to do her late night routine of delivering the Book and the dry cleaning. She reached the closet and hung up the clothes. She was just about to place the Book on the table and leave when a distinct smell got her attention. Andy cautiously walked down the foyer and before she could reach the kitchen, she found Miranda sitting on the sofa smoking a cigarette. The thin cloud of smoke classily came out of Miranda's mouth as she exhaled. She couldn't look more sexy.
"Since when do you smoke?" Andy's question made Miranda come out of her trance. She doesn't look good. She looks drained.
"What are you doing here?" Miranda asked as she straightened up in her seat. Her eyes are dark, they don't show Miranda's natural fire.
"I came to deliver the Book and the dry cleaning" Andy said as she hugged the Book close to her chest. "I didn't know you smoke."
"I don't smoke Andrea" Miranda said letting out another cloud of smoke.
Andy fidgeted as she looked over the little table in front of Miranda and saw the pictures of Stephen and a well-known woman walking into a hotel.
Miranda looked at Andy and back at the table. "Yes, he is cheating on me." She let out a bitter chuckle.
"I know, I saw them together last week." Andy said softly and Miranda frowned at her.
"And why didn't you tell me?"
"It was not my place Miranda, I didn't want you to think I told so you could change your mind about us even when I think that you are doing the same thing."
"This is different Andrea, what we have is not cheating," Miranda said firmly, "and we never did anything."
"But we want to, and you can't deny it."
"I can't do this with you now Andrea, I can't make things be different for us." Miranda sighed tired.
"You are free now, you can leave him." Andy said with expectation in her voice. "Things can be different now."
"You know I can't, I can't do that to my girls." Miranda looked away.
"Miranda, how could you stay in a marriage that doesn't make you happy? The girls want you happy as well." Andy said as she put the book aside.
"Your fairy tale speech is fascinating but far from reality. I have to protect my children at all costs," she looked at Andy once more, "maybe when you become a mother you will understand." Miranda smiled sadly at Andy.
"What about us?" Andy asked equally sad as she sat on the table in front of Miranda.
"I'm sorry Andrea, but I can't be that ordinary person you want me to be. You have to be reasonable."
"He is not what you deserve, and now that you know he is not faithful, give us a chance. Give me a chance to make you happy." Andy pleaded, leaning closer.
"I don't need him to be faithful Andrea, I need him to stay here, and be part of my twins' life, he is good with them, that is what really matters."
Andy shook her head in disbelief, "How can you share a bed with a man who is shamelessly cheating on you?"
"We don't share a bed anymore and I already took care of Serena, he will stop," Miranda said putting the cigarette out in the ashtray. "She will be transferred to work with French Runway. She is ambitious, she couldn't refuse the offer." Miranda raised an eyebrow at Andy.
"That won't stop him, he will find another replacement." Miranda knew Andy was right, but was the only alternative for now, "Leave him, you don't need that Miranda," Andy said and reached for Miranda's pale hand.
"I can't," Miranda said quietly, her blue eyes showing nothing more than sorrow, "I can't do that to my girls. You have to understand."
"You'd rather be hurt by him than loved by me, and that is something I will never understand." Andy said with hurt in her voice.
"You know I wanted nothing more than be with you Andrea, but I can't." Miranda said and pushed her hand away from Andy's warmness. "Stop pressuring me, you know how much that thrills me."
Andy rose from the table and turned to leave.
"Do you have the Book?" Miranda asked raising her hand and looked down.
Andy picked up the Book again and handed it to Miranda.
"Anyway, you know Paris is the most important week of my year, I need the best possible team with me," Miranda said working on the pages of the Book now. She couldn't face the heartbroken look in Andy's beautiful face, "That not includes Emily," Miranda finally looked at her, "you are going with me."
"Sure Miranda, whatever floats your boat." Andy nodded as she was asking for permission to leave.
"That's all." Miranda said flipping the Book; as Andy quickly left the townhouse.
-Ritz Hotel- Paris-2 weeks later-
Andy quietly entered Miranda's hotel room. The day had been exhausting, full of fashion shows and she wanted nothing more than go to bed and sleep.
She placed 2 packages on the little table close to the door and walked into the sitting room. Moreover, as soon as she looked over to the sofa, she stopped dead in her tracks, staring at the small figure of Miranda sitting on it in a grey nightgown. Ever since that night in the townhouse Miranda had changed her behavior around her and Andy didn't know what to do.
Miranda had no makeup on. Her hair was atypically messy. She looked lost and broken. Her eyes small and red, she clearly had been crying and Andy's heart ached. She wanted to run over to her and hug her. She wished she could make it all better, but instead she cleared her throat to make her presence known to Miranda.
Miranda looked at her. "There you are."
"Hi, I brought your agenda for tomorrow." Andy asked as she stepped closer. "Are you ok?"
"We need to go over the seating chart for the luncheon." Miranda said ignoring the question, annoyed that Andy even had to ask; it was clear she was not okay.
"Okay, sure." Andy said and handed Miranda the papers and then sat on the chair in front of her.
Miranda opened the folder and rested it in her lap as if she needed to collect her thoughts.
"Stephen cancelled his flight, he's not coming," she exhaled as she put her glasses back on.
"You want me to get a jet for him?" Andy asked taking her agenda from her purse.
"Well, if you speak to him, and he decides to rethink the divorce..." Miranda said with an irony through her icy tone and Andy gasped. "When we get back to New York, we need to find a way to minimize the press over all this..."
Andy rose from her chair and walked over Miranda.
"Another divorce," she continued, "Page Six will crucify me again." her lips curving into a dark smile. "The Dragon Lady, career-obsessed."
Andy sat next to her and took her hand in hers, she was glad when Miranda didn't flinch away.
"I don't really care what anybody writes or thinks about me." Miranda took her glasses off again and wiped her eyes, "I just care about my girls, this is so unfair to them," she sighed heavily, "they are just children."
"They will be fine," Andy said quietly trying to bring Miranda some comfort.
"I couldn't protect them from another disappointment," fresh tears running over her cheek, "another father figure I scared away"
Andy said nothing, she only listened.
"Why is it so difficult to be with me." Miranda said "Why is so hard for someone to love me," she asked looking into Andy's eyes now.
"I love you" Andy whispered as she dared to run her fingers gently on Miranda's hair, and then down to her pale face wiping her tears with her thumb. Andy missed touching her and Miranda succumbed.
"I know you do," Miranda said with what seemed to be a genuine smile now and Andy had to fight back her own tears.
Not knowing if that was the right thing to do, she leaned and touched Miranda's lips with her own. The kiss was quiet at first but full of emotion. They needed that closeness, that warmth and security that always made the other feel. Andy licked Miranda's bottom lip asking for permission and Miranda granted that as she opened her mouth to let Andy's warm tongue invade her mouth. Miranda wanted more, she needed more and only Andy could provide what she wanted. Their tongues were now in a battle for the control of their soul. Hands were traveling their bodies in possession, but air became an issue and they had to break apart.
"It's late. You should go to bed and try to sleep." Andy said placing a small kiss on Miranda's forehead. She wanted to make love with Miranda as if there was no tomorrow, but she couldn't say so. She didn't want to take advantage of Miranda's fragility but the truth is, she wouldn't survive if Miranda rejected her.
"Stay with me," Miranda said and Andy radiantly grinned. She didn't know if Miranda was only asking or demanding, either way she would stay.
She stood up never leaving Miranda's hand and guided her into the bedroom.
Andy put the covers aside and took Miranda's nightgown off reveling a wonderful and equally grey silk camisole. Andy's breath was shallow, she was lost under the spell of the woman who was half naked in front of her. She was making her crazy.
Miranda made a step forward and soon their mouths were pressed together again. Miranda locked her hands behind Andy's slender neck while Andy's hands were busy feeling the texture of the camisole. Words were not necessary anymore but Andy had to ask, she didn't want Miranda to regret it in the morning.
"Are you sure?" Andy whispered after breaking their sore lips apart.
Miranda nodded and started unbuttoning Andy's blouse as Andy brought their mouths together again. Miranda couldn't help but moan under Andy's touch. That was more than she needed to reassure everything was fine. Everything was right. Miranda needed her. Miranda wanted her. Everything was all about her.
Tonight, they would make love for the first time, they would finally surrender to the urge of feeling their bodies pressed together, the mutual desire of intimacy. Andy helped Miranda to take her blouse off and then took Miranda's camisole off. She made a step backward, she needed to see her in all of her beauty, vulnerable. She needed that moment to memorize every curve of Miranda's body in front of her, she would remember that forever.
Miranda took Andy's straight brown hair out of her face so she could read in Andy's big brown eyes how much she wanted her, before leaning fiercely for another kiss. She needed to feel desirable, and Andy made her feel that way. Miranda wanted nothing more than to brush her naked body on Andy's. She quickly unzipped Andy's skirt letting fall onto the floor. The last barriers denying their skin to touch were now all together on the floor.
"Andrea," Miranda said quietly. "I need you."
"I'm here." Andy said softly and Miranda knew she would be for as long as she wanted. "I'm not going anywhere."
Miranda didn't have to say what she wanted. Andy knew, even when she never had been with a woman before that felt natural. She let her heart guide her and worship Miranda's body. She simply knew. The same way she knew she wanted that every day from now on, for the rest of her life.
Andy kept watching Miranda as she rode her fingers inside, for this moment Andy was the reason of Miranda forget about all the pain, all the pressure. She was only lost in Andy's touch. Andy was her safety harbor in the storm.
"Look at me," Andy whispered with a smile and Miranda forced herself to look into inebriating chocolate eyes. Their gaze met as their breaths started to become faster. Small moans became louder as their touch became more and more passionate.
Miranda was panting heavily as the orgasm started to build inside her stomach. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so good. She was feeling marvelous and for the first time in a long time, she let herself trust someone completely. In addition, with simplicity, Andy brought Miranda to climax for the first of many times that night.
Miranda tasted better than Andy could have ever imagined during all of those nights, alone fantasizing about this moment.
Miranda took a deep breath, allowing her heart to stop pounding in her chest as she relaxed. She opened her eyes to the beautiful angel in front of her. Andy leaned and placed small kisses all over Miranda's face. She was content beyond words. The Snow Queen was becoming the reason of the fire inside her heart. Andy put the comforter over their tired naked bodies.
"Je t'aime." Andy said joking in her poor French accent and Miranda chuckled. She leaned closer into Andy's warm embrace resting her head in her chest.
They remained in silence as Miranda's breathing became in perfect synch with Andy's heartbeat. Miranda had allowed herself to sleep peacefully for the first time in many weeks.
-Next day-
Miranda sat on the leather seats of the silver Mercedes with Andy next to her. They still had another event to go. Miranda looked more relaxed, confident, there was no trace of the fragile, broken person she was the night before.
"You think I didn't know what was going on?" Miranda asked and Andy nodded yes.
"I knew for quite some time now, I just had things more important at the moment to worry about it." Miranda said looking out at the busy Paris streets. "Anyway, I was impressed by your loyalty and determination." She quickly looked at Andy before turning her attention to the window again.
"Uh, thank you" Andy answered quietly, "Christian Thompson accidentally told me this morning when we were talking in the hotel lobby. I went to apologize for not showing up to dinner with him last night, and he told me everything, so I had to let you know," Andy stopped, she didn't know if she should say the next words, but she did anyway. "He said I would need to find another job soon, since Runway would change drastically, when you were replaced by Jacqueline."
Miranda took a deep breath, how dares he, but she would deal with Christian in another time.
"I did not care about my job, all I could think about was you, and you know I would do anything to protect you." She completed.
"I know," Miranda reassured her with a small smile.
"At least we can be together now," Andy said failing to hide the happiness in her voice. "Stephen is gone and Runway is still yours."
"It's not that easy as you seem to make it," Miranda said quietly looking away.
"Of course it's not, we can try to make it work." Andy said as she took Miranda's hand in hers.
"I can't out our relationship Andrea, I have a lot to lose."
"You have a lot to win as well," Andy replied.
For a moment, Miranda stopped to consider Andy's words before she could speak again. "It's an unnecessary risk, I have a lot to consider for now on, especially now with the divorce, the press will make a circus and I have to protect my twins." Miranda said in her even tone.
"I know, but we can be careful." Andy didn't want to sound desperate.
"We will see, we can see each other eventually and when my girls are with their father," Miranda said and now looked at Andy, "I can't give you more than that for now."
"I know Miranda, I'm just asking you to try."
"If you want to be with me Andrea, you have to accept" Miranda's fingers now tracing Andy's jaw line, so perfect. "Today you have finally experienced what you have to do if you want to survive in this business, you're a good player Andrea," Miranda said being careful not to smear Andy's vivid red lipstick in the corner of her mouth, "Fashion world is a chess game, you always have to see ahead, to prevent your opponent's next step. You have no friends."
Andy was not even blinking letting Miranda's world echoing in her mind.
"Today you proved yourself your value, your talent, you can be more Andrea," Miranda's smiled at her, "you can even dream in become someone like me." Miranda said proudly.
Andy was confused, be Miranda would mean she had to betray the persons around her in order to triumph, and Andy was asking herself it was that what she really wanted.
"I don't know if I can do that Miranda," Andy gazed at her solemnly and Miranda looked out of the window once more.
"Yes you can. If you want to have this life Andrea, you have to," Miranda closed her eyes for a moment before continue, "I want to be with you and if you want to be with me, first you have to understand what you will have to sacrifice to accomplish success." Miranda said taking her glasses from her purse.
Andy shrugged "Even the love and respect for a coworker like Nigel?"
"You already know the answer to that silly question." Miranda turned smiling at her patiently. "You did it too. To Emily."
"No I didn't," Andy looked offended, "I came because you asked me and I wanted to be here for you."
"You made a choice Andrea." Miranda said as the car pulled into the curb.
"You know I love you and I would do anything to be with you, but I love and respect myself and my principles more, I can't be your replacement toy, I don't know if I can or want to be that person."
"Don't be silly Andrea, everybody wants power, everybody wants to be us." Miranda smiled at her and left the car.
Andy staying inside, lost in thoughts, she slowly stepped out of the car and watch as Miranda walked down a crowded path of photographs.
"I'm so sorry Miranda," Andy whispered and turned around, walking away.
Miranda continued to walk with the security men shielding her inside from the photographs flashes, she turned around to say something to Andy and found no one.
As Andy continued to walk her cell phone went off and Miranda's name was shinning at the screen. Andy looked at it and threw the phone into the Jacques Hittorff fountain.
"I love you, Miranda, but I can't let you play with my heart anymore." Andy said above a whisper as she continued to walk away from Miranda, away from her passion, with her heart broken in thousand pieces. Miranda was right after all, we all have to make choices. Andy was choosing not to become someone she couldn't face in the mirror.
FIN.